- Are you related to either the Diana Canova Troll or the Paula Prentiss Troll?
- the last name is like Kotex
- Your role in Crash was kind of sick/hot. Why can't I find a copy of that DVD anywhere?
- "Why can't I find a copy of that DVD anywhere?"
Because you don't know how to google?
- Thanks, r4! I'm new to the internet and never had a clue that you could buy stuff online... cool!
- I enjoy your work here, Elias Koteas troll. You are prolific, but also creative and sincere. It seems you have some body-shame issues so I can see why the "sick/hot" contrast in Crash works for you.
My Q: what do you think of Chris Meloni? Poor man's Elias Koteas?
- 1. Did you really suck him off in a toilet in Montreal?
2. What's his cock like? Be descriptive.
3. You have spastic posting explosions on DL every few weeks and then vanish. What do you do in your non-troll time?
- My favorite post by you to date:
"I am very fond of the virile, balding Greek-Canadian character actor ELIAS KOTEAS, who I’m sure many of you recall from his supporting roles in films such as Some Kind of Wonderful, Look Who’s Talking Too, Exotica, Fallen, The Thin Red Line and, more recently, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Shutter Island, The Killer Inside Me and Let Me In. He is frequently compared to both a young Robert De Niro and to Christopher Meloni of OZ and Law & Order SVU fame.
In several films, ELIAS KOTEAS shows an impressive bulge straining heavily against the fly of his pants. In the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film from 1989, back when Koteas had long flowing hair, he wears thin gray sweatpants and you can see his impressively masculine bulge swinging back and forth in a few scenes, notably when he falls off a swing on the porch. You can trace the juicy outline of his thick, musky, likely uncut endowment through the worn fabric of the sweatpants.
In the 2001 film Novocaine, Koteas plays the prankster brother of Steve Martin, and in his opening scene we see him playing dead, lying on the kitchen floor wearing nothing but tight red briefs and covered in fake blood that is later revealed to be paint. This scene gives wonderful coverage of both Koteas’ meaty Greek ass and the fat salami-shaped mound in the front of his briefs.
In David Fincher’s 2007 film Zodiac, there is a wonderful moment where Koteas – as a daddyish Vallejo police officer – answers the door to Jake Gyllenhaal in the middle of the night. Koteas strides to the door with a slow, lazy swagger in a pair of thin, beige, 70s polyester pants that reveal the delicious outline of his musky Greek sausage. To me this scene gives a clear sense of weight in space – one can feel the texture and weight of his virile, middle-aged maleness filling the warm fabric of his slacks, forming a protruding mound that begs to be caressed through the material.
Koteas may be at his sexiest in David Cronenberg’s 1996 film Crash, where he plays the bisexual, suicidal car crash fetishist Vaughan. He wears tight black jeans and has a delicious swagger, though I can’t recall any crotch shots as good as the aforementioned films. There is, however, a very horny scene where he sucks face with James Spader in a car and then they lick each other’s car crash wounds, including a tattoo of the angry red bruise of a steering wheel he has imprinted across his ribs.
Is anyone else here a fan of Elias Koteas? Here's a hot pic of him."
- Why are you wearing a muumuu?
- [quote]meaty Greek ass and the fat salami-shaped mound
[quote]his musky Greek sausage.
[quote]his virile, middle-aged maleness filling the warm fabric of his slacks, forming a protruding mound that begs to be caressed through the material
See, this is where trolling actually becomes enjoyable for other people--it's like Bonnie Mace, or the Deb Messing Troll.
The trouble with so many other trolls like mhb or the Meryl Streep troll is that they think just being obnoxious and repetitive is funny. You have to actually be creative to be a funny troll.
- But I don't stop here, R10. In one thread I even go so far as revealing I would drink his urine, and allude to the fact that even his bowel movements are indicative of his maleness/sexiness.
I am hardcore.
- r10, I never thought I was funny.
- Did you enjoy his work as the troubled ex-priest in the movie "The Prophecy"? I could not get past his terrible wig.
- The thread R11 refers to attached below. Some good contributions. There was also the thread where he talked about being forced to suck off Elias while he held a gun to his head. I don’t think he is really trying to be funny though. Like the Streep troll (tm), he thinks he is necessary.
- EK Troll, when you finally reached 400 pounds, did you celebrate that achievement with a new muu muu?
- Elias Koteas troll admits to having an "emotionally distant father," this may be why he dreams of sucking off DILFs at gunpoint.
- What, no mention of his work in " The Shooter"? In the scene where his character confronts Bob Lee Swagger, you could cut the sexual tension between him and Mark Wahlberg with a knife.
- Agreed he is very sexy in Shooter!
- Why would you stop at consuming his piss? Why not his shit too? Are you telling me you wouldn't eat Elias Koteas's shit if you got the chance?
- Despite its claims to the contrary, the Streep Troll doesn't think it is "necessary" at all. It just likes to throw its shit around at the Plexiglas walls of its cage. That's the only reason it comes here and acts up: to get the zookeepers to scold it.
- What was it like working on "Some Kind of Wonderful"?
- I'm a pedophile!
- His looks alone could save the Greek economic troubles!
- Your doppelganger Meloni is hotter
- R21, the questions are for Elias Koteas Troll, not Elias Koteas himself.
- Elias in a long wig
- LOL thanx, R27! Oops...
- Oh proto-Chris Meloni, it should've all been yours!
- R26/27, that's not a wig - the long flowing hair he sported in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was all his own. He joked about it in some recent interviews for Let Me In that he misses having hair like he had in the late 80s. He comes across in interviews as a happy stoner/hippie throwback, possibly bisexual, very appreciative of his fans or any compliments he gets on his work. He would probably be flattered by the Elias Koteas troll and wish him all the best.
- I am suspect of your Elias Koteas trollocity, as you have failed to mention two of his most-nude, most-sex-scene-filled (hint; earlier) cinematic works.
You must state them and provide screencaps to prove your worth!
- One of those sexy, nude Elias roles would be the super hot erotic movie "Chain of Desire".
NOT the OP
- Elias Koteas starred with Ian McKellan and the late Brad Renfro in Bryan Singer's "Apt Pupil" in 1998. He plays the homeless man who McKellan seduces and kills.
A movie with lots of gay sub-text.
- Elias in "Chain of Desire" was NOTHING compared to a (then very muscular) Kevin "The Voice of the Animated Batman" Conway masturbating in his tighty-whities while watching a woman out the window.
- Sounds hot, but does Elias Koteas show any skin in Chain of Desire? That film was never released on DVD and impossible to track down on VHS, there aren't even any torrents uploaded. Been looking in vain for years. Please give as much info as possible on Elias's sex scenes/nudity in Chain of Desire, also does he have short/long hair or beard/clean-shaven in it? Thanks!
- Who among us would not want to be the filling in a Christopher Meloni-Elias Koteas spit-roast sandwich?
- What's the other early Elias Koteas film where he shows skin? We have Chain of Desire, the other is - Malarek? The Adjuster? He has some lovely clothed ass shots in Desperate Hours, where he plays Mickey Rourke's retard brother who shows off an amazingly firm and peachy bubble butt in tight blue jeans.
- I know someone who works on Combat Hospital and said he's a very sweet, humble, sensitive man. Very emotional and often cries alone in his trailer. I have no idea why he cries or what he is crying about!
- Interesting pics of Elias with Viggo Mortensen in The Prophecy
- What are they doing here?
- Homosexual tension between Elias and Mark Ruffalo at Zodiac premiere.
Note the huge scar on Elias's neck, I wonder what happened to him? It was there as long ago as Some Kind of Wonderful.
- Tell us more about how or why Elias cries alone in his trailer, R38.
- Because few can or want to take his beercan uncut cock up the butt
- THANK YOU R34! I haven't seen "Chain of Desire" in years, but for the life of me I couldn't remember who that hot actor was who masturbated in front of the window. That movie is one of the most erotic films I've ever seen. By the way, who was the hot actor who played a painter getting felt up and his balls squeezed by Asumpta Serna in that other scene?
- R35, he played Jesus in Chain of Desire and he has long hair.
- EK is very sexy (and bi) in the movie The Adjuster.
- R44, do you think Elias also jacks off his uncut Greek beercan while having a lonesome cry in his trailer???
Hot pic here.
- Fuck...I MUST hunt this movie down...
- Chain of Desire looks good. Would love to suck off Elias at gunpoint while he makes me call him Jesus.
- Elias as Jesus in "Chain of Desire"
- Beautiful. Was he hung on a cross?
- R35, the VHS of "Chain of Desire" is on Ebay between $5 and $15
- His character is Hispanic in the film, His name is HAY-ZOOS, not JEE-ZUS.
- He's always been hung, R52.
- Agree with OP, always had a think for Elias, back to when he played the skinhead in "Some Kind of Wonderful". Doesn't he fuck James Spader in the uncut version of "Crash"?
- [quote]In CSI NY he played a bank robber in a sweaty T-shirt and blue jeans. I fantasized about being in the bank with him, having him point his gun at my head as I knelt before him and slowly unbuttoned his fly with my teeth, kissing his straining bulge through his musky boxers before I slipped them down and eased his veiny Greek slab into my mouth in full view of my co-workers at the bank.[/quote]
Elias Koteas Troll is quite the exhibitionist too.
- Greek slab?
- More bulge
- Nice bulge in his sweatpants, thanks R59! There are good shots of that floppage in motion during that scene.
- I found Chain of Desire at Cinemageddon. Might be on other private trackers too.
- I remember that film.
- Please talk more to me about Elias Koteas, describe him to me, I want to hear about his bulge, his taint, the way he smells between his legs. How does his piss taste, does he have yellowing stains on his tight white briefs? I long for him to take me by force and then hold me afterwards.
- R63: MARY!
- Tell me about his GIRTH
- R66, it's like a can of Sapporo in length and girth.
- Wonderful, thank you R66.
I love the thought of that heavy Greek DILF meat forming a round, masculine pouch in his pants. A warm place where I want to bury my head. I like thinking of the scent of raw maleness that would waft up as I rolled back Elias' foreskin. The smell of a man who's been working hard all day and needs to be serviced by his boy. I dip my hungry slut-tongue in and out of the silky folds, flicking gently against his bulbous purple helmet before engulfing my mouth as far down the heavily veined shaft as I could bear. His muscular thighs buckle and shudder, causing me to cup my hands around his big Greek ass and draw his whole groin deep into my face.
I'm attaching a link to a can of Sapporo so people can contextualize. My jaw aches at the thought, I'm not confident I'd even be able to handle his virile largeness, but I'd give it a damn good try.
- [quote]I love the thought of that heavy Greek DILF meat forming a round, masculine pouch in his pants. A warm place where I want to bury my head. I like thinking of the scent of raw maleness that would waft up as I rolled back Elias' foreskin. The smell of a man who's been working hard all day and needs to be serviced by his boy. I dip my hungry slut-tongue in and out of the silky folds, flicking gently against his bulbous purple helmet before engulfing my mouth as far down the heavily veined shaft as I could bear. His muscular thighs buckle and shudder, causing me to cup my hands around his big Greek ass and draw his whole groin deep into my face.
Good work Elias Koteas Troll. How about Jean Dujardin? He's another hot French-accented daddy type. Would like to hear a similar post about him (and speculation on his girth).
- Someone has been pasting imaginary hair onto Datalounge's favorite balding daddy. Wasn't his toupee in The Prophecy bad enough?
- [quote] How about Jean Dujardin?
OMG, it would be Christmas if we could find a sexually obsessed J du J troll here!
- So, where is the wheelbarrow that Elias has to carry his cock and balls around in?
- Just look at this photo, he is truly the DADDIEST of DADDIES! When I see his warm-eyed smile, becapped bald head and graying goatee in this pic, it's like he's beckoning me to come sit on Daddy's knee and tickle his beard. I want to breathe in his maleness so bad.
I agree Jean Dujardin is very hot too, I just don't feel the same connection to him, intrapsychically.
- R74, would you lick his shitter?
- Of course I would lick his shitter, R75! I don't even care if it's been washed proper first, I can't think of a sweeter way to spend a Friday evening.
- [quote]I agree Jean Dujardin is very hot too, I just don't feel the same connection to him, intrapsychically.
What on earth does this even mean? Intrapsychically? Are you so crazed with lust for Koteas that you're speaking in tongues and coining new words?
- [quote]What on earth does this even mean? Intrapsychically? Are you so crazed with lust for Koteas that you're speaking in tongues and coining new words?
[quote]Intrapsychic is a psychological term referring to internal psychological processes of the individual. These processes can be positive (egosyntonic), negative (egodystonic) or neutral.
An example of positive intrapsychic process might be the development of higher level social skills acquired through education or specific social contact, like working in a corporate environment. An example of negative intrapsychic process might be stress over social responsibilities, conflict with social mores, conflict of morals, or a crisis of faith. A neutral intrapsychic process might be characterized by the aspects of ego integrity that define the personality; a love of animals, a dislike of broccoli, a preference for historical novels versus murder mysteries, etc.
Not sure where Elias Koteas's bulge/taint/shitter fit into all this.
- Trolling about Elias Koteas' Greek bulge is a "higher level social skill"
- The super-hot sex scene between Elias and James Spader in Crash. Love how uninhibited they are in going for it, and the way Elias moans when Spader kisses his stomach is pretty damn gay. As with Peter Sarsgaard in Kinsey or The Dying Gaul, Elias seems to be enjoying himself too much here for him not to be at least a little bi.
- I thought Elias Koteas WAS De Niro in Shutter Island, it's uncanny.. I think there's a greater resemblance to De Niro than Meloni, though now I see how he looks normally it's easy to see the Meloni comparisons.
- He always gets mistaken for Chris Meloni
In fact they should have hired him as the new Stabler on SVU
- Hot gay clip R80!
- I went to drama school with Elias Koteas when I was 18 years old. He was an utterly commanding and compelling actor, even as a teenager.
It was 1981, and Elias had a very DeNiro-esque quality as a very young man. Handsome, sexy without being pretty, intense and entirely focused. He had an agent while still in school, and not yet 20 years old. I'm not sure how, or if he was connected in the biz, or what kind of help he had at the beginning. He is a fine actor, and although always busy, I am surprised his career hasn't been bigger.
- Please tell us much more, R84! Was this at Vanier College? Did you suck his hefty uncut Greek dong? Did you two ever have a communal shower together after drama class? What was he like as a person? Any rumor on gay hook-ups or bisexual tendencies?
And did he ever wear tight pants to class, thus enabling you to trace the outline of his fat schvantz with your lustful eyes?
- Did he ever wear a white pleated skirt and a fez R84?
- that clip from Crash is very hot. pity the scene cuts just as Spader starts rimming Elias, who does look like he's having a very good time.
[quote]And did he ever wear tight pants to class, thus enabling you to trace the outline of his fat schvantz with your lustful eyes?
Trolling at its most poetic.
- I love how a thread designed to ridicule the EK troll seems to have actually attracted the EK troll.
- The EK troll cares about one thing only, and it's not whether he is ridiculed on Datalounge!
- The EK troll has been responding to his own posts for the last two pages.
Troll-dar him, and get ready for a surprise.
- Better idea, use troll-dar on R90. If you don't like Elias Koteas or have anything to contribute about his fat Greek dongmeat, fuck off out of my thread.
- [quote] fuck off out of my thread.
Among your myriad mental health and stalking issues…there also exists some sort of misconception on your part that you OWN a thread.
Fuck right off on that notion, dearie.
- R90, you're asking us to troll-dar YOU??
- Troll-dar R92! Do it now! Better yet murder him!
- F&F 94 - Threatening other posters.
- Did you get kind of giggly and happy upon realizing that it was Koteas instead of Meloni in Zodiac, in a reversal of the way my sister visibly deflated upon realizing that Det. Stabler had not in fact shown up to sweat on the Zodiac Killer, or dd a devoted Koteashead like yourself know that he was coming in advance?
- Thank you for getting us back on track, R96. I’ve decided I won’t lower myself by responding further to negative posters like 90/92/95, who are not worth my time and energy.
Yes I did get giddy upon seeing Elias in Zodiac, though I knew long in advance he would be in the film, in fact that’s why I went to see it at the cinema and got front row seats. A friend had informed me there were some great shots of his protuberant Grecian basket filling out his tight 70s dress pants, so I was sure to put a coat over my lap and have a nice fondle during the police station scene I linked above.
Have you seen Novocaine? Some good shots of his rugged ethnic virility threatening to burst the seams of his tight red briefs. Made me want to kneel before him and lower them.
- I hate when datalounge reply numbers get all out of sync. I see you people all talking to yourselves. That can't be right.
- Do you bitches and queens know what today is? Today is ELIAS KOTEAS's birthday!!!
Happy birthday to the sexiest Greek-Canadian DILF on the planet, I love your warm eyes, your graying beard and the fat virile bulge in your pants, you're not just the poor man's Chris Meloni you're not just that guy who looks like Robert De Niro you're you and I fucking love you for that.
51 years young, happy birthday you beautiful man xx
- The linked scene of "Crash" isn't the hottest, it's the scene where Koteas fucks Spader in the car.
- [quote] protuberant
- The Elias Koteas Experience….?
- That was a fascinating interview, thanks for posting. The fact that he signs off "God bless you and your family" on emails to an interviewer he barely knows is almost as endearing as his virile protuberance.
- What is his ASS like? Anyone seen or smelled it?
- Discovering this thread is kind of freaking me out.
Perhaps only the OP might enjoy my long story.
I look nearly identical to the guy pictured in r74's link, except that I have dark green eyes, don't pluck my brows as much, and have a full head of hair. I like to wear hats. But in no way do I find either of us attractive. EK and I were born one week apart and we're both Greek. Same height. Same facial expression. Chris Meloni? No. Way.
In another DL thread tonight, someone mentioned his name, which reminded me of a surreal experience I had on a trip to Quebec several years ago. So I finally gay googled him and came upon this thread.
Was at a long, dull conference in Quebec City. I noticed a beautiful old building right next to the convention center decorated with a bunch of rainbow flags. I'm shy but adventurous and my French always seems to get better when I drink.
Turned out to be the most interesting and fun gay club I've ever been to, called Le Drague.
It had multiple rooms and bars. Everyone was so friendly to me, despite my mediocre high school French and mediocre looks.
One couple tried to pick me up as I sat drinking at one of the bars. They were polite but insistent. I was flattered - but uncomfortable - so I excused myself to go take a pee. Didn't want to get HIV or axe murdered that night.
The club had the most interesting, cavernous men's room on the third floor I'd ever seen.
But then this cute very young guy started cruising me! I thought, "Uh oh, prostitute!" and high tailed it to the big bar on the main level.
But the hot guy followed me! His English was as bad as my French, and we spent the evening together, drinking. I so wanted to take him back to my hotel, but was partnered and still didn't trust his motives and said goodnight. Then the kid tried to follow me to the hotel!
Next I went to Montreal as a tourist. My hotel was overbooked. They put me in a cab and sent me across town to the French area and I ended up paying an outrageous rate for an outrageously avant-garde hotel. Went to a bar in the gay village. Again, very friendly guys. Am starting to love these Quebecois!!! Was getting very horny. But due to language limitations, just couldn't do it.
Walked all the way back to my overpriced hotel with its exposed cement walls and huge flat screen TV, stopping at a toy store en route to buy a dildo, then a state liquor store, where the weirdest thing happened. Note: Had a feeling I was being followed by pickpockets.
There was a long line. A guy in a suit in front of me made a huge scene for all to see.
He started rambling on loudly in French and I could only understand a few words. "I saw you...!". Everyone was looking at me, some of them smiling knowingly. Holding a bag with a giant rubber cock, I was sweating bullets. Had I been mistaken for some criminal on the evening news? A pedophile??! CIA? Or did he, too see me in the gay bar and want to fuck, kill and rob me, as the rest of Quebec did?
I politely told him sorry I didn't understand, am just a tourist from California.
With vodka and dildo in hand, I fucking ran back to the hotel -- while being followed by someone in a cab! Security would not let him in.
I holed up in my room and watched porn for the next two days. Spent a few hundred on phone calls to my unsympathetic partner.
After describing (selected parts of) that peculiar experience back home, I was told that I resemble some obscure Canadian actor with a Greek name that I'd never heard of. Found a picture of Elias Koteas and dismissed that theory. It is not unusual for me to find trouble on drunken foreign trips.
Finally, I have total closure on this, in the form of the photo at r74. Many of you will think I'm just writing about an Especially Strange Trip. So be it.
Where are all the people in SF who have a fetish for this type of "look"? They don't exist. I am absolutely invisible. Can't get an online date with anyone under 80.
BTW, I have an average, 6" dick, cut, but it is at least on the thick side:) Am a lonely power bottom. Thinking I should move to Montreal.
- Elias Koteas to join Season 3 of THE KILLING as a rugged, well-endowed cop!
- Some good pics from the 2001 film Novocaine. What do we think of the way Elias fills those tight red briefs from the front AND the back?
This scene offers the best glimpse of Elias’ virile, furry Greek-Canadian torso. In the attached image below, I personally like how the light treasure trail around his navel is complimented by a darker, fuller dusting of matted, sweaty hair on his chest. His thighs are tight, toned, but not overly muscular. Indeed, the appeal of his whole body is that of the ruggedly hot, natural, down-to-earth guy next door.
Moving onto the skimpy red briefs, we can appreciate a full and heavy tenting of the tight fabric that cups Elias’ virile protuberance. What goodies lie in wait beneath these briefs? Consider first in terms of smell. The further you nuzzle your face down those briefs, the heavier, denser, muskier his smell grows.
What does Elias’ BULGE reveal? His fat, hairy low-hangers are twin behemoths of blue-collar ethnic masculinity. The way his balls generously fill the pouch of the red briefs indicates that they are full to bursting with salty Grecian fertility. Elias Koteas’ penis is thick, uncut and heavily VEINED up and down the length of its shaft. It comes complete with a very tight foreskin that occasionally causes him some sensitivity, but releases a delicious Canadian musk when it is skinned back ever so tenderly.
- Elias’ TAINT in Novocaine.
Here I like a lot of things. The lines of his pale, statuesque back. The sensuality of his triceps. The hot stench of virility from his thick, dense armpits.
But note how his large Greek-Canadian buttocks fill out the fabric of those tight red briefs. Indeed the briefs do not quite cover the full volume of his buttock cheeks. The cheeks are full, high and tight. Deep within his large, muscular cheeks, a little hole is hidden. There is hair in the hole, and you can smell the hot hair through the briefs. It releases a tangy aphrodisiac scent of pure maleness.
The backs of his thighs look thicker, fuller, heavier than the front. Note the freckle or mole on that expanse of pale flesh that joins his left cheek to his pale thigh. And what do you think the back inner seam of his briefs smell like? From his prone position, they are likely stretched taut over his sizzling anus.
- I want him to cradle me in his arms for a long time, brushing my hair with his palm as I fall asleep on his chest.
- bumped because Elias is the hotness.
- Thank you, R110. Why do you consider Elias "the hotness"? We are very interested to know.
Also, inspired by the precum thread – did you know that Elias Koteas is a very heavy precummer? It is well known secret within the industry that Mr. Koteas produces excessive amounts of Cowper’s fluid in his pants upon the mildest arousal. Which is to say that at any given moment of the day, he is likely to be leaking a salty trail of male mucus through the delicate, lip-like opening of his urethra. Mr. Koteas’s precum glands are activated by the tightness of his foreskin, his fondness for prostate-tightening Kegel exercises, and a tendency to hold his bladder for long periods while shooting film scenes. As a result he often secretes clear, viscous Cowper's fluid through his hypersensitive meatus.
- Elias consults Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman about his tendency to discharge large volumes of Cowper's fluid into his underwear.
- Who produces more precum via their overactive precum glands - Elias Koteas or Chris Meloni? Please give details as to how and why, and critically engage with the heavy wet spots they create in the front of their pants through their overstimulated Cowper's glands. Is there a correlation between baldness and precum? Bald men can be very virile and I wonder if they are liable to secrete more gluey, clotted Cowper's fluid on a daily basis? Thanks.
- First pic of Elias in THE KILLING!