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Let's create A Jennifer Aniston Film

"I Know, Right?" (2012)- Jennifer Aniston portrays Ambyr Maitland, a recently divorced midwestern Administrative Assistant who heads to New York City to attend the wedding of her college friend Sophie Lipschitz (Kathy Najimy). When the brother of the bride (Adrien Brody), a taxi driver and artist, takes a shine to her, she is torn about whether to return to her mundane life in Nebraska- especially when her ex (Tim McGraw) shows-up in The Big Apple! Also starring Lanie Kazan and Danny DeVito as Sophie's parents. And Mario Cantone as the Wedding Planner.

by Anonymousreply 542February 17, 2024 12:44 PM

"It Is What It Is" (2012):

Jennifer Aniston stars as Phillipa Grantham, a fashion stylist who seems to have it all; however, her glamourous life isn't what it seems. While her clients/BFFs may include A-list stars like Tasmin Moore (Zoe Deschanel) and celebutantes like Carissa Grantham (Elizabeth Banks)--who are often her partners in crimes at exclusive events--she yearns for a more meaningful existence. One day, while Phillipa is working with a bride-to-be, Lily Pettigrew (Beth Behrs), she finally realizes what she wants most in life: to marry her longtime (cad) boyfriend! Hilarity and heartache ensue as Phillipa pulls out all the stops to get her financier lover, Royston Manchester (Benedict Cumberbatch) to finally propose.

by Anonymousreply 1February 26, 2012 3:25 PM

lol

by Anonymousreply 2February 26, 2012 3:34 PM

"Just Let It Happen", what happens when Chelsee Anders the BFF of a closeted A-list movie star (thisclose to being outed by the tabloids) named Chaz Bergman agrees to be his beard and travels back to his small-minded, small-town homestead in the Midwest, only to fall in love with his straight twin brother, Stone. Chaz' flamboyant and resentful boyfriend Todd goes along for the ride. Grandma catches on and tries to play matchmaker, but dies from a stroke, but a happy ending for all.

Jennifer Aniston - Chelsee Anders

Josh Duhamel - Stone/Chaz Bergman (twins)

Betty White - Nana Bergman

Todd - Topher Grace

by Anonymousreply 3February 26, 2012 3:45 PM

I would totally watch that, R3.

by Anonymousreply 4February 26, 2012 6:07 PM

r3, I hope you copyrighted that plot. It's actually pretty good and can be a 60 million grosser with a 15 million budget

by Anonymousreply 5February 26, 2012 7:02 PM

If Jennifer doesn't take any of these offers, I'm available!

by Anonymousreply 6February 26, 2012 7:07 PM

All of these roles would be too old for me to play! Got any suggestions for films with leading roles for a fresh-faced and beautiful ingenue?

by Anonymousreply 7February 26, 2012 7:10 PM

And after Eesie fails her screen test miserably, call me. I'm no longer tied up with a family illness.

by Anonymousreply 8February 26, 2012 7:15 PM

r3, that movie idea is really good and has the potential to be entertaining. Kudos.

by Anonymousreply 9February 26, 2012 7:18 PM

You Too?

Sisters Charlene (Aniston) and Courtney (Academy award nominee Kate Hudson) have been listening to the biological clock ticking for years. So when they both meet the man of their dreams they think their luck is in. But there's a problem: it's the same man!

After finding they're being two timed by a handsome and successful humanitarian campaigner and serial cheat Tom Packer (Hugh Dancy) the sisters decide to make his life hell by teaming up and becoming increasingly demanding and needy, while getting their younger sister Cliché (Katherine Heigl) to make his lovelife even more complicated by dating him as well. But when Cliché falls for Tom, things don't go quite as expected.

Featuring a hilarious cameo from Wanda Sykes a a Rwandan survivor of gang rape.

by Anonymousreply 10February 26, 2012 7:23 PM

Thanks for this thread. I wrote a scenario to post, then decided it actually could work, so I saved it and will start fleshing it out this week.

by Anonymousreply 11February 26, 2012 7:26 PM

"Labor Day" (2013)

Jennifer Aniston is Lori Lewis, a high-flying magazine editor with a loving boyfriend, fabulous apartment and great life...or so she thinks. Made redundant, and newly single after discovering boyfriend Todd's (Bradley Cooper) "fun" buddy list on his pinterest she packs up her Manhattan loft, heads home to her family in Pittsburgh for the holidays and straight into the arms of high school sweetheart Mark (Timothy Olyphant). Soon, she's due for a big surprise...

by Anonymousreply 12February 26, 2012 7:27 PM

Good luck, r11.

by Anonymousreply 13February 26, 2012 7:32 PM

Wanderlust was HILARIOUS! Though that has nothing to do with Jennifer Aniston and all to do with David Wain.

by Anonymousreply 14February 26, 2012 7:34 PM

R13: For Labor Day to work as one of the holiday-themed rom-coms you'll have to build several other relationship subplots around the Aniston character.

by Anonymousreply 15February 26, 2012 7:35 PM

"Pour Me Another" - Jennifer Aniston IS Siobhan Flannery, the spoiled youngest daughter of Chicago beer mogul Dan Flannery (Kevin Dobson in his triumphant return to the spotlight). When Dan and mortal enemy Karl Kzysyzzzysytzkysy (Ed Harris) fight a battle to buy an ailing brewery, Siobhan finds herself drawn to Karl's son Cosmo (Seth Rogan). She and Cosmo grow closer, but Siobhan is stunned when they visit Karl's compound and learn the identity of Karl's lady love - Siobhan's long absent mother Janine (Debra Winger in a triumphant return to the spotlight).

Also featuring Vince Vaughn as Some Random Chicago Guy Who Makes Homophobic Jokes and Pisses Himself, Joan Van Ark as Great-Great-Great-Great Gramma Flannery, and Oprah Winfrey as Siobhan's sassy best friend Sophia. Special Guest Cameos by Katherine Heigl as Whore #2, and Reese Witherspoon as Spawn of Jay Leno.

Music by Whoever Does The Lame Emo Shit They Play During Grey's Anatomy.

by Anonymousreply 16February 26, 2012 7:36 PM

Why, you are all as funny as Billy Crystal!

by Anonymousreply 17February 26, 2012 7:37 PM

r10 - DYING!!!!!!

This is all classic thread material. Trying to catch my breath.

by Anonymousreply 18February 26, 2012 7:41 PM

lol, this thread is genius. You CAN actually imagine a film with the title "I Know, Right" being a Jennifer Aniston film, that's the sad thing.

by Anonymousreply 19February 26, 2012 7:41 PM

TRAILER TRASHED Hotshot Architect, Rainey Rails (Jennifer Aniston) has spent her whole life running away from her white trash upbringing but when she inherits the beachfront trailer park where she grew up, she finally learns to value her small town values. Vince Vaughn co-stars as Parker Abney, the rich real estate developer and Brad Pitt plays Bumper Wiggum, the park's maintenance man who has a hidden artistic talent.

by Anonymousreply 20February 26, 2012 7:43 PM

This woman is pathetic,no talent,boring ,but posting every day on the WWW

by Anonymousreply 21February 26, 2012 7:45 PM

r15 there are a bunch of other sub-plots. Believe me...

by Anonymousreply 22February 26, 2012 7:48 PM

[quote]Music by Whoever Does The Lame Emo Shit They Play During Grey's Anatomy.

Bravo r16 THAT made me laugh.

by Anonymousreply 23February 26, 2012 7:50 PM

Did you ever wonder if Jennifer Aniston actually cheated on Brad Pitt, long before he cheated on her?

by Anonymousreply 24February 26, 2012 7:51 PM

ON GOLDEN-GIRL POND

Jennifer Aniston makes the brave decision to star with her real-life parents, John Aniston and Nancy Dow, in a cathartic, revealing, and-- did I mention brave?-- documentary about how Jen took care of Nancy after her stroke. Even though Nancy didn't deserve it. And John is the nice one. And Jen is so brave.

by Anonymousreply 25February 26, 2012 8:06 PM

These are hilarious!

by Anonymousreply 26February 26, 2012 8:16 PM

Oh No You Didn't! - 2013

Emma (Aniston) and Nicole (Beyonce) have the jobs they always dreamed of, Emma is in costuming and Beyonce does make-up on a top rated sitcom. Although their manic production manager (Eddie Murphy) tries to keep everything on the set professional, Emma wants to embark a romantic relationship with the sitcom's handsome lead Jarrel (Damon Wayons Jr.) Knowing how complicated this kind of relationship might be on the set, Emma asks Nicole to use her makeup skills to turn her black in order to get Jarrel's interest.

Hilarity ensues with Nicole giving Emma lessons on being black, including hood slang, music and sassy attitude. Nicole, meanwhile, also harbors a secret love for Jarrel and initially finds Emma's transformation amusing, however once Emma actually gets Jarrel's attention and they get to know each other, Nicole gets jealous. Bored of the charade, she refuses to take Emma's call one pivotal evening when Jarrel and Emma were due to appear at a swanky social event. Desperate, Emma attempts to do her own makeup and Jarrel discovers the deception, declaring her to be a racist in blackface and not wanting anything further to do with her. Nicole is watching behind a potted plant, and Jarrel keeps her as his escort for the event instead. Realizing that he really loves Emma despite her deception, they reconcile in front of the fountains at Lincoln Center.

by Anonymousreply 27February 26, 2012 8:25 PM

LMAO @R27

by Anonymousreply 28February 26, 2012 8:31 PM

A CHRISTMAS PROMISE

When big city financial planner Emily Reardon (Jennifer Anniston) learns that her beloved Grammy Wilson (Vanessa Regrave) is dying, Emily vows not to let her estrangement from her mother (Julianne Moore) stand in the way of a last goodbye.

Uncertain about returning to Goose Lake, Wisconsin for Christmas, Emily is heartened to learn that the residents look past her New York ways and designer fashions, and see only Chet and Doris Wilson’s little girl who always dreamed big.

As she lay dying, Grammy Wilson asks Emily to grant her one wish and to make a promise: to call her former beau Todd (James Marsden)before Christmas and rekindle a flame Grammy knows did not die

With Don Cheadle as the town black person; and Natalie Portman as the local jewess.

by Anonymousreply 29February 26, 2012 8:33 PM

This Time It's Me. Tiffany Blake (Jennifer Aniston) is Chicago's hottest professional organizer, but her own life is a mess! Her main business rival is assumed to be gay Freddie Olivier(Paul Bettany), who's only faking to be gay to generate business. When talk show legend Shante La Lique (Mo'nique)let's it be known she's headhunting for someone to organize her life, it's war! A battle of the sexes with love the winner!

by Anonymousreply 30February 26, 2012 8:35 PM

[R27], I think we should have none other than Miss Dionne Warwick play Beyonce's mother in that film.

by Anonymousreply 31February 26, 2012 8:37 PM

Bravo R30

by Anonymousreply 32February 26, 2012 8:37 PM

[quote]Emily vows not to let her estrangement from her mother (Julianne Moore) stand in the way of a last goodbye.

Poor Julianne! She's only 9 years older than Aniston!

by Anonymousreply 33February 26, 2012 8:39 PM

Oh, R29. Everyone knows there are no black people in Wisconsin!

by Anonymousreply 34February 26, 2012 8:40 PM

[R29], Julianne Moore as Jennifer Aniston's mother? How old was she supposed to have been when she gave birth? 10?

by Anonymousreply 35February 26, 2012 8:41 PM

Reese Witherspoon was offered the part of Aniston's mother but it was determined that she didn't read as young enough on screen to be believable.

by Anonymousreply 36February 26, 2012 8:43 PM

Julianne is an ACTOR! She could play the Don Cheadle role and win a best supporting actress Emmy in the process.

by Anonymousreply 37February 26, 2012 8:45 PM

I don't think R27's premise would fly.

Her hair must always be prominently on display... unless she claims it's a weave.

by Anonymousreply 38February 26, 2012 8:47 PM

lmao

by Anonymousreply 39February 26, 2012 8:47 PM

At what point does Jenny become desperate and play a mute hooker in an Oscar bait film with lots of nudity?

by Anonymousreply 40February 26, 2012 8:49 PM

God, this thread...lol... I just can't..

by Anonymousreply 41February 26, 2012 8:52 PM

"Awake in Reno"

Two sisters Belinda Morrow(Jen Anniston) and Virginia Lansdowne (SJP)..zzzzzzz....zzz..

by Anonymousreply 42February 26, 2012 8:56 PM

These are good, imagine if you people actually channeled this creativity in reality!

by Anonymousreply 43February 26, 2012 9:02 PM

This thread is genius!

by Anonymousreply 44February 26, 2012 9:04 PM

You guys are HYSTERICAL!!! I love ALL of these!

by Anonymousreply 45February 26, 2012 9:04 PM

Susan (Jennifer Aniston) is a likeable TV actress who loses her husband Chip (James Marsden) to beautiful femme-fatale movie actress Marianne (Halle Berry). At first Susan tries to forget him and go on with her life, but when she realizes that beautiful Marianne is a psycho druggie who's making Chip miserable, she realizes she needs to get Chip back!

Co-starring Robert Pattinson, Ryan Reynolds, George Clooney, and James Franco as the gay pals who act as escorts, while helping her scheme to get Chip back.

(Actually, this would work better with Anne Hathaway.)

by Anonymousreply 46February 26, 2012 9:07 PM

R43, I think this is pretty much what a brainstorming session at a big studio is like these days.

The only question is usually: Aniston, Witherspoon or SJP?

by Anonymousreply 47February 26, 2012 9:08 PM

That's My Life! - 2014

Jennifer Aniston stars as the former star of a hit 90's ensemble comedy. With both the comedy show and her high-profile marriage over, she embarks on an endless stream of rom-coms.

2014 comes around, and she is still (somehow) working even though her films are typically stinkers at the box office. Hilarity ensues as she tries to make the transition to character roles.

by Anonymousreply 48February 26, 2012 9:28 PM

I'm in Love with a Douchebag!

Jennifer Aniston plays a private investigator who specializes in helping spurned women get back at their ex-boyfriends. But when she starts simultaneously falling for two of the exes (Ryan Reynolds and Bradley Cooper) she finds herself on the receiving end of their douchebag behavior and feeling the wrath of their crazy-eyed ex gfs - played by Renee Zelwegger and Katherine Heigl.

by Anonymousreply 49February 26, 2012 9:31 PM

okay these last two posts are killing the thread

out!

by Anonymousreply 50February 26, 2012 9:34 PM

Like, You Know, Whatever:

When Abigail "Abby" Behrs' (Jennifer Aniston) football player husband (Josh Lucas) leaves her for another woman (Malin Ackermann), she loses the will to live. After a failed suicide attempt, Abby wakes up in a strange, but familiar room. While trying to figure out where she is, a young blonde girl walks in and Abby excitedly calls out her name. That's when it hits her...she's been transported back to her sorority house, in the year 1990. Hilarity ensues as Abby relives her glory days and tries to avoid future heartache by rebuffing the big man on campus who will go on to become her husband...unless she changes her destiny.

Co-starring:

Dakota Fanning as Quinn (Abby's BFF)

Penn Bagdley as Trevor (Quinn's brother, an admirer of Abby)

Alex Pettyfer as Dave (Quinn's college boyfriend, younger version of her future husband)

Andrew McCarthy as Dean Whitmore (a pervy school administrator who aggressively pursues Abby)

Written and directed by Amy Heckerling

by Anonymousreply 51February 26, 2012 9:45 PM

[R51], you forgot to include Kathleen Turner as Abby's mom, Peggy Sue, in your cast list. ;-)

by Anonymousreply 52February 26, 2012 9:48 PM

I'd pay cash money to see that one, r51.

Then again, maybe not because I'm sure it's in the works and I am on a budget.

by Anonymousreply 53February 26, 2012 9:49 PM

Jennifer Aniston and Dakota Fanning BFFs? I love it!

by Anonymousreply 54February 26, 2012 9:52 PM

[quote]God, this thread...lol... I just can't..

We're stealing "I Just Can't..." as a rom-com title.

by Anonymousreply 55February 26, 2012 10:04 PM

ElderGay

After finding out her best gay (John C. Reilly) is a virgin, an eternally single, cutthroat career woman (Jennifer Aniston)takes a week off work, determined to get him laid before he dies. But in the process, she ends up learning a lesson in life balance and finding her true love in the foul-mouthed, sloppy yet carefree office copyboy (Seth Rogen).

James Franco, Alex Pettyfer and Adam Rodriguez all cameo as potential Eldergay cherry poppers.

by Anonymousreply 56February 26, 2012 10:07 PM

R51 You forgot "Special appearance by David Schwimmer as Ezra, Abby's best gay friend, and Christopher Mintz Plasse as Ezra circa 1990. "

by Anonymousreply 57February 26, 2012 10:07 PM

LOL R12.

by Anonymousreply 58February 26, 2012 10:11 PM

"I Just Can't..."

When two homely brothers/Internet moguls (played by Guy Pearce and John Goodman)--who happen to be multi-billionaires--express their desire to marry, professional golddiggers Caitlyn (Jennifer Aniston) and Lisbeth (Wendi McLendon-Covey) conspire to win the men over. However, the plan is complicated when Caitlyn discovers that the brother she has been paired with, Wendell (Guy Pearce), is actually a really nice guy. Lisbeth tries to keep Caitlyn's eyes on the prize, but will it work?

by Anonymousreply 60February 26, 2012 10:15 PM

Ff for r49

by Anonymousreply 61February 26, 2012 10:19 PM

R59 I mean

by Anonymousreply 62February 26, 2012 10:19 PM

[quote]Featuring a hilarious cameo from Wanda Sykes a a Rwandan survivor of gang rape.

For some reason this is making me laugh...

by Anonymousreply 63February 26, 2012 10:26 PM

W&W for r 27

by Anonymousreply 64February 26, 2012 10:45 PM

Wingwoman" (2012)

Vivacious, no-bullshit Gracie Monaghan (Jennifer Aniston) is the very successful (but not in a threatening or emasculating way) owner and CEO of "Sidechicks", a "romantic management consultant service" that for a hefty fee matches wealthy, socially inept bachelor with a gorgeous wingwoman who serves as his dating game coach and birddogging partner until he is able to ladykill on his own.

Gracie has but two rules for herself and her team of wingwomen (Olivia Munn, three blonde twenty-three year old Sports Illustrated Swimsuit alumni, and some light-skinned black hottie - ideally British): no flats and no getting involved with clients.

From the outside, Gracie has it all: a sun-drenched apartment full of Louboutins and home decor items from Anthropologie ; the ability to pull off a variety of hairstyles. But the unintended result of devoting all of her energies to training men how to effective woo other women is that Gracie, herself, has arrived in her mid-thirties (in the right lighting) chronically single and resigned to a life of loneliness.

Gracie world is turned upside down when she takes on brainy Maxwell MacTeer (David Duchovny), a quirky celebrated journalist/non-fiction writer whose recent book "Prime Mover" has been rejected by his editors for making the claim that it will explain the reasons why everything is the way it is, but has somehow managed to ignore sex altogether.

The two initially clash, Maxwell insists that sex and love don't really matter in the grand scheme of things and he is only getting coached by Gracie in order to get enough "sex" material for his book to satisfy his editors. This frustrates Gracie,who insists that Maxwell is just scared of rejection and that sex and love are the prime movers behind all human interaction (after all, they've been her bread and butter since she left college back in the very late nineties!)

Under Gracie's tutelage, Maxwell blossoms from a quirky ascetic to a suave renaissance man, and Gracie realizes that she's falling in love with him. She watches with dismay as he meets and successfully woos Lydia (Jessica Alba) a brain surgeon with Doctors without Borders.Gracie realizes that if she's ever going to be happy, she is going to have to break her rule (not the one about high heels) and be her own wingwoman.

Subplots: Gracie has a heartwarming relationship with Irving (Alan Alda) a lonely, avuncular widower who Gracie takes on as a client. He has an implied threesome with two old ladies in the closing credits!

Gracie has teething troubles with Lila (Aubrey Plaza) a sardonic grad student and feminist that she has recently hired.

Construction company owner Danny (Vince Vaughn) is a perennial client of Gracie's. A lovable scamp and habitual date rapist, he is always up to some sort of hijinks in order to get pussy

Mercenary Ivy (Olivia Munn) breaks Gracie's no getting involved rule when she jumps at the chance to get with "internet mogul" Travis Zimberg (Justin Long). She is horrified to learn that he is actually a lowly programmer and not rich at all. She is even more horrified to learn that she has genuine feelings for him!

by Anonymousreply 65February 26, 2012 11:00 PM

Get It Together!

Feisty assistant District Attorney Maxine Schwar (Aniston) is living the high life in Philadelphia with her handsome husband Armistead Rimmer (Mark Wahlberg) and cute twins Izzy & Dash. When a new colleague at work, Destina Hoare (Katherine Heigl) manages to usurp her for a promotion and in her husbands affections "Maxy" suffers a nervous breakdown.

It'll take the help of her zany mother Sondra (Betty White) and best gal pals (Deborah Gibson, Jenna Von Oy, Judy Greer, Matt Bomer, academy award winner-MONIQUE) to help her get back on top, get back her man and GET IT TOGETHER!

by Anonymousreply 66February 26, 2012 11:04 PM

Two to Tango- Identical twins, Marlow and Meg couldn't be more different but DNA isn't the only thing they share, they're both in miserable relationships that they can't break out of. They decide drastic steps are in order. They switch identities so that they can drop the hammers. The only problem is our girls soon find love in their sister's significant others. Paul Rudd and Jason Segal costar.

by Anonymousreply 67February 26, 2012 11:11 PM

They should do a insipid piece of trash that stars all the leading ladies who've headlined the type of dreck within the last five years.

Call it "Farewell, You Scuzzy White Rich Bitches!"

Jennifer Anniston

Katherine Heigle

Academy Award hack Reeses Witherpoon

Put all three together -- and cast any others for supporting roles -- and be done with once and for all.

by Anonymousreply 68February 26, 2012 11:18 PM

R65-Jessica Alba as a brain surgeon! Genius!

by Anonymousreply 69February 26, 2012 11:30 PM

[italic]Better yet:[/italic]

Jennifer Anniston

Katherine Heigle

Academy Award hack Reeses Witherpoon

... and That Goddamned Kate Huckson

starring in ........................

[bold]SEX AND THE CITY: THE NEXT GENERATION VS. FREDDIE AND JASON DEATH MATCH IN MANHATTAN[/bold]

by Anonymousreply 70February 26, 2012 11:36 PM

R65 That actually sounds like not a movie plot so much as the pilot for an ongoing TV series.

(and you know someone will get right to work on that shit!)

by Anonymousreply 71February 26, 2012 11:54 PM

It's Your Turn! - 2014

It's Hungary, 1944. Maria Molnar (Jennifer Aniston) is the 'Mae West of Budapest' the most beloved musical comedy actress in the Hungarian film industry. Half Jewish, she finds herself in a boxcar on the way to Poland! When the train grinds to a halt, Maria passes around her cosmetics kit for the ladies to spruce up before the train door opens, but to her surprise she's not in Warsaw for location work, she's in Auschwitz!

Co-starring Viggo Mortensen as Commandant Schmidt, the steely-eyed camp commander with a secret heart of gold who takes a shining to the new camp beauty. But Maria loves Schlomo, the Hasidic latrine sweeper she meets in a hilarious bathroom scene that will make 'Bridesmaids' seem tame. Schmidt offers Maria a job as the barrack leader in exchange for extra bread rations, what's a girl to do?

You'll laugh until you cry as Maria finds any way she can to keep everyone in the barrack laughing until the next selection. With rumors of the Allies closing in, Maria keeps hoping for the best, and hoping her hair grows back before they come!

by Anonymousreply 72February 27, 2012 12:21 AM

"Brief Liason"

Candace Klinger (Jennifer Aniston) is a hot-shot attorney at an LA law firm to the stars who pours everything she has into her job, even if that means spending most nights alone. The film opens with her in court representing Hollywood comedy king, Chase Charles (Vince Vaughn), who is being sentenced after pleading guilty in connection with his shenanigans on an international flight that wound up with him accidentally punching out a female air marshal (Amy Poehler) (we see the cell phone camera footage when the prosecution speaks at the sentencing hearing). After an impassioned plea by Candace, Chase seems set to go free on probation, but a belligerent Chase winds up talking himself into a 5 year prison sentence by the non-plussed, no-nonsense judge (Nancy Grace in a cameo).

Candace's big loss in court puts her in hot water with her boss, Randy Oldman (Dan Ackroyd), and, unless she agrees to sleep with him, she has one chance to save the career she loves, representing accused shoplifting starlet, Melanie Mayfair (Kate Hudson). The catch? She has to share the case with arrogant up-and-coming associate, Miles O'Grady (Jason Segel). Yet while Candace had not given her co-worker, Miles, much thought before, the two bond as friends working on the case and discover a shared love of classic Looney Tunes cartoons. Yet once she sees her sticky-fingered client working to steal something else, Miles's heart, Candace's competitive side kicks in and she is determined not to let this chance at love slip away, even if it costs her her career as a legal eagle.

by Anonymousreply 73February 27, 2012 1:32 AM

Kinda Like the Real Thing: Bored office assistant Zee Morrison (Aniston) dreams of being a fashion designer. When she wins a trip to Paris at the church raffle, things starts to happen! A chance encounter with hunky French executive Guy Catry (Jean Dujardin) in the Louvre leads to a job at his fashion house. But is she willing to gamble everything on her future in France and lose the love of her longterm hometown boyfriend (Owen Wilson)?

by Anonymousreply 74February 27, 2012 1:49 AM

Now this is why I come here. There are some orchids among the drek.

Bravo Bravo

by Anonymousreply 75February 27, 2012 6:45 AM

ROMEO AND JENNIFER - Jen plays a prim librarian at Verona Beach High School who gets bonked on the head by a falling bust of Shakespeare and dreams she's back in Renaissance Italy. Romantic tragedy ensues until she's brought round by true love's kiss in the form of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from a hunky Italian paramedic.

by Anonymousreply 76February 27, 2012 7:17 AM

Enough, Allready! (2012)

Gal next door Mindy Allready (Aniston) is a nature loving marine biologist by day and when her bi polar meds wear off at night, a saucy pole dancer in the clubs of Wasilla, Alaska by night. Her alter ego Ginger gets into trouble seducing the husband (Paul Rudd) of local republican ex governer and vice presidential candidate Temperance Bitchstock (Marcia Cross).

When Temperance attempts to blackmail Mindy/Ginger to doctor an environmental report into the health risks towards lesbian sea lions from crude oil spillage Mindy/Ginger realises its time to say, ENOUGH, ALLREADY!

by Anonymousreply 77February 27, 2012 10:42 AM

"Look It's Her Again"

Riley Gunther (Jennifer Anniston) is fresh out of Journalism school and ready for the world!

First job is an investigative reporter at Libations Inc, the nuber one news agency in the world. Her first assignment is in Afghanistan where she travels with US soldiers, there she meets army officer Wolfe Waylons(Josh Hartnett in his comeback role). They hit it off immediatley including lots of raunchy sex in the barracks. Riley soon finds out that Lucas is a Russian spy. Hilarity ensues!

by Anonymousreply 78February 27, 2012 12:33 PM

Peanuts!

Theresa 'Terri' Taylor and her five kids are top dogs in the small town of Ellistown, Nebraska. But when her youngest daughter's grades start slipping, widowed Terri needs a convincing excuse and blames Kyla's lack of academic ability on an exposure to peanuts, specifically Turner's peanut factory, the town's main employers. As things get out of hand, Terri finds herself the public face of the American Moms Against Nuts campaign, while her former childhood sweetheart Tanner Turner (Henry Cavill) is called back from New York to deal with the crisis. Hillary Swank co-stars as Sherry Shergar, president of AMAN with Fetus Fanning as Kyla and Stockard Channing as Terri's mother Lynn. The heartbreaking twist that Kyla's retardation is due to fetal alcohol syndrome, after Terri was driven to drink following the death of her husband will have audiences reaching for their tissues.

by Anonymousreply 79February 27, 2012 1:56 PM

Keep 'em coming!!!

by Anonymousreply 80February 27, 2012 5:18 PM

Never Too Late To Learn

High powered business woman Emma Monroe(Aniston) is beautiful and about to make the biggest deal of her career. But what her colleagues don't know is that the beautiful career woman has never learned how to use a a computer. As her sassy executive assistant Orlando (Glee's Chris Colfer) dreams of poisoning her, Emma continues to make him send highly personal texts to her boyfriend David (Matt Keeslar), until he dumps her when she's unable to reply to a text and stands him up, not for the first time.

Realising enough is enough, Emma joins a community college course run by nun Sister Alice (Academy Award winner Mira Sorvino) to learn how to use her iPhone. Taken aback by how unskilled and poor her fellow students are, Emma has a change of heart and wonders whether she should stop her company takeover and plow the investment funds back into the community, helping poor Koochie (Academy Award winner Octavia Spencer) realise her dream of running a fried chicken restaurant and possible love interest Humphrey (Paul Rudd) open a hardware store.

Reunited for the first time since Dead Ringer For Love, Meatloaf and Academy Award winner Cher join the cast as Emma's parents, Marty and Mindy Monroe.

In an emotive performance which will tug on viewers' heart strings like an arthritic harpist, Jennifer Aniston proves why she'll be a contender at next year's Academy Awards.

by Anonymousreply 81February 27, 2012 6:12 PM

Sounds awesome, r3, I'd actually go see that. R27, if someone steals your idea and makes that movie, or anything like it, I will have you knocked off. :)

by Anonymousreply 82February 27, 2012 6:21 PM

Wow@r51.

Can we do one for Mariska? I think if studios had a little help visualizing her in movie rolls, it would help her post-SVU career along.

by Anonymousreply 83February 27, 2012 6:31 PM

Baker's Dozen - Kit Baker (Jennifer Anniston) has it all: a high profile job as an editor along side fashion's toughest critic, Yvonne Shepherd (Holland Taylor), an assistant DA beau (Eddie Cibrian) and an adorable cocker spaniel/Llasa Apso mix, Schatzie (played by my dog Schatzie in her breakthrough performance, but I digress...). Comes the phone call every career woman dreads - there's been a tragic grain elevator explosion back in Apple Patch, Ohio. Kit rushes to tend to her bodycast bound sister Priscilla (Melora Hardin), Kit's farm, and her 12 precocious children. Hijinks ensue right upon arrival when Kit has to plan an "in home funeral" for Prissy's husband Clay (Billy Bob Thornton) - an Apple Patch tradition - when one of the kids, Kimmy (Dance Mom's star "Chloe") accidentally drops her 4H charm into dad's now sealed casket.

Kit finds out the simpler things in life are all that matter with the help of kindly parrish minister, Luke Walpole (Ryan Reynolds)who arranges a series of potluck dinners, chinese auctions and blueberry pie socials to raise the funds to save the family farm.

Co starring Doris Roberts as Auntie Lottie and special guest appearance by Betty White as frisky Apple Patch pie champion Loretta Hogg.

by Anonymousreply 84February 27, 2012 6:43 PM

"Apple" (2013)

Tagline: Love, like apples, is good for us.

Jennifer Aniston stars as Bethany "Apple" Sterling, a New Jersey middle-aged woman suffering from cerebral palsy. She lives with her lonely, recently widowed, yet eccentric and domineering grandmother, Beverly "Bev" Sterling, played by Shirley MacLain who raised Apple since she was a toddler due to her alcoholic mother skipping town and dumping her with her grandparents.

Apple and her grandmother make weekly trips to the doctor where she gets shots to induce Apple's seizures she periodically gets. In order to appease Apple's apprehensions about going to the doctor Bev uses the comforting slogan, "An Apple a day keeps the doctor away" which eases Apple yet does not ease her desperation for independence and being treated like a woman, because Apple's grandmother doesn't believe she can live on her own. However, the real reason is the grandmother is lonely and doesn't want to let her granddaughter go due to not being fully over the death of Apple's grandfather, Bev's husband.

Tired of being treated like a child and being poked and prodded by the doctor on a weekly basis, Apple decides to take a road trip unbenounced to her grandmother to the biggest apple of all; a place where she will certainly never have to go to the doctor again, and a place where she can absolutely claim her independence, New York City.

This is where Apple's adventure begins.

Awe struck by the glitz, glamour, lights, and Broadway, Apple clumsily makes her through NYC. She is introduced to many firsts some of which include: rude people, taxi cab rides, taxi cab drivers she doesn't understand, (neither understand each other), Brooklyn, getting robbed, homeless people, rats, her one room apartment, getting her first job as a stock person at Bloomingdales, and of course, her first love: William, a man who also suffers from Cerebral Palsy, played by Seann William Scott.

Bev, panicked for the safety of her granddaughter, and the seizures she may get, which she does, only to be assisted with the frightened help of William, teams up with her jokester, yet adoring neighbor, Sal Giovanni, played by Danny Devito. Both travel to New York City and go to get Apple home safe and sound, while discovering each other in the process.

During this adventure to New York City, Apple teaches all a little of something.

"Apple" is a heart-warming story about love, trust, discovery, growing up, and letting go.

Starring:

Jennifer Aniston as Bethany “Apple” Sterling Shirley MacLain as Beverly Sterling Danny Devito as Sal Giovanni Seann William Scott as William

by Anonymousreply 85February 27, 2012 6:53 PM

What's sad is that her agent is probably combing through these ideas and one will end up on screen.

And if not Jen, then Jessica Alba's agent.

Seriously guys, you're giving it away!

It's like Cartman and the Awesome-O fake robot from South Park that kept spewing out Adam Sandler script ideas (Puppy Love was the best).

by Anonymousreply 86February 27, 2012 6:58 PM

Come on, somebody needs to write a script for these two hip gals.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 87February 27, 2012 7:03 PM

as I read each idea, I can actually picture the film!!

Keep 'em coming!

by Anonymousreply 88February 27, 2012 7:06 PM

I wish there was a function to individually like each suggestion.

by Anonymousreply 89February 27, 2012 7:59 PM

Conference Call

High Powered Wine Industry Executive Connie Hightail (Anniston)goes to annual wine convention in France and meets Claude Perrine (Vince Vaughan) of a small family owned vinter with the best most expensive wines in the world. Connie's rival Beatrice Deschanel (Natalie Portman) is determined to buyout Perrine's family vineyard to increase production and mass market the cachet brand, thereby selling out the family's hard won reputation. Claude Perrine's brother Thierry (Ryan Gosling) a fashion designer falls in love with Beatrice and plans to marry her making her part of the family. Connie and Claude join forces to thwart Beatrice's takeoever plan and Connie tries to sleep with Thierry to prevent the marriage and save the family business. In the end Beatrice and Claude end up together and Connie and Thierry get married.

by Anonymousreply 90February 27, 2012 8:02 PM

Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

Melody Chambers (Aniston) is Whitney Houston's biggest fan. Working on a make up counter in a small town department store, Melody lives with her widower dad (Academy Award nominee Samuel L Jackson) and her dalmation dog, Nippy. Melody has never been lucky in love and a string of ex-boyfriends and two bitchy colleagues (Dakota Fanning and Academy Award nominee Abigail Breslin).

On hearing the news of Whitney's sad passing, Melody is distraught and spends 48 hours in her bedroom crying, listening to One Moment In Time on repeat play. But then Melody has a vision. The ghost of Michael Jackson appears (using James Cameron's award winning special effects) and tells Melody she needs to go to the funeral to say goodbye in person to Whitney.

Quitting her job when her sex pest boss (two time Academy Award winner Kevin Spacey) won't give her time off, Melody scouring internet forums, and meets up with a fellow Whitney fan called Chuck (Mary Stuart Masterson) who agrees to drive them to New Jersey for the funeral, with Chuck's ex-girlfriend Jodie (Claire Danes) along for the ride.

A road trip with a difference, Where Do Broken Hearts Go? is a tale of self discovery and friendship, with an unforgettable soundtrack. (Note: the cast's version of All The Man That I Need will not be featured on the soundtrack)

by Anonymousreply 91February 27, 2012 8:18 PM

The Natural One - 2014

Tara Laufner (Jennifer Aniston) seems to have it all! She and her stockbroker husband, Warner (Mattew Rhys) have the perfect house in Connecticut, the perfect kids, and a stellar reputation in their well heeled town. One day, while enjoying lunch at the club with her dearest friends, Lisbeth (Gwyneth Paltrow), Lisle (Cameron Diaz), Lainie (Kate Hudson), Laurel (Christina Applegate), and Lenore (Claire Danes), A freak accident leads to a golf ball hitting her in the head. Tara's friends immediately flock to her and she appears to be fine, but then she announces that she's going to let her hair grow out to its natural color! Join Tara as she teaches her friends and family how to give up the pretense and just be themselves.

Featuring a soundtrack by Pink!

by Anonymousreply 92February 28, 2012 12:38 AM

Love Floats (2014)

Betsy Buoy (Jennifer Aniston) is passenger on an ill- fated cruise liner which sinks right off the coast of Italy. Betsy is a bubbly thirty-something who is on the cruise with her family( mother and father played by James Brolin and Meryl Streep). While on the cruise Betsy falls in love with the young and dashing Captain(Zack Efron). As the Captain takes one look at Betsy he is so hypnotized by her beauty that he forgets to control the cruise liner! Hilarity ensues as the two make love in a life boat as the other passengers swim for their lives! The two encounter sea life while in the life boat-even a huge singing whale ( played by Grammy winner Adele).

by Anonymousreply 93February 28, 2012 12:56 AM

BREAKING THE HABIT (2013) They're twins, but they couldn't be more different! Kassidy (Jennifer Aniston) is an unemployed clothing designer, while her sister (Aniston, playing dual roles) is a cloistered nun! One day Kassidy visits her twin, Sister Gabrielle John, with some distressing news. She needs heart surgery but has no health insurance to cover the procedure. Gabrielle: "That's so unfortunate. The convent pays all my hospital bills. ...Wait! I have an idea!" The sisters exchange identities. Kassidy, now wearing a habit, will have her surgery paid for by Santorumcare(policy of the new president: Catholics get top-tier treatment; everyone else get in line!) while Gabrielle will hole up for two weeks in Kassidy's apartment. Two weeks later Gabrielle returns to the convent and learns that Kassidy died during her surgery and is now buried on the convent grounds in the Field of Fallen Sisters. After visiting the grave and talking to her dead sister's headstone (Aniston's monologue is Oscar worthy!) Gabrielle leaves the convent gates and starts her new life as Kassidy. The following weeks are a laugh riot, as the former nun experiences her first drink, her first dance, her first date (Robert Pattison), her deflowering, and success on the runway with a series of gowns designed in the style of nun's habits.

by Anonymousreply 94February 28, 2012 1:28 AM

Bump!!

by Anonymousreply 95February 28, 2012 2:54 AM

Jenny's Choice (December 2013)

Jennica Allister (Jennifer Aniston) has twins (played by Dakota Fanning and Abigail Breslin) After the death of her husband (Brad Pitt in a cameo role) she moves to a new town in a suburb in Michigan where she tries to enroll her kids in a college prep. The problem is, there's only one spot open, and she has to make a decision. Which one of her kids will she choose?

In the first Oscar-bait performance of her career, Aniston gives a multi-layered performance that will sure give her her very first Oscar nomination.

by Anonymousreply 96February 28, 2012 3:03 AM

Bump!

by Anonymousreply 97February 28, 2012 3:10 AM

Holly Hope (Jennifer Aniston) and Laurel Cleaver are sisters with a lifelong dream of openeing their own bridal shop. But life happened, kids, jobs etc. However, with the economic dowturn both ladies are left unemployed.

Holly a former Business Developer, is now unemployed and left single, when her beau Jeremy Daft (Ryan Reynolds) dumps her. Laurel (SJP) is now focused on riasing her three kids and playing wife to husband Mark Cleaver played by (Ben Stiller).

The gals decide that now is the best time to pursue their business ventures and embark on oepning thier bridal shop. Times are hard and the girls can't make the financial commitment, so they embark on a journey of securing enough assets, by enjlisting with an escort copany and becoming private escorts.

Follow the girls in their adventure as they encounter former lovers, friends and associates. In particular, Holly has a night of misadventure with her now married and former beau Jeremy.

Also starring Katherine O Hara and Martin Sheen as the parents. And a cameo by Samuel L Jackson as the escort company boss

by Anonymousreply 98February 28, 2012 4:05 AM

*oops title* - They Know How To Do It!

by Anonymousreply 99February 28, 2012 4:26 AM

OMG, you guys are frickin' hilarious. I can seriously picture nearly everyone of these movies...This thread made my day.

by Anonymousreply 100February 28, 2012 4:57 AM

"Mission Aborted (2013)"

Mary O'Malley (Jennifer Aniston) is a beautiful and vicacious abortionist struggling to make ends meet after Obamacare's free birth control pills provision nearly puts her abortion clinic out of business.

On a wing and a prayer, the lapsed Catholic heads to church and bows her head in prayer at the altar. It's then that Mary overhears behind her someone talking to the priest, Ike Weaver (Kirk Cameron), discussing the bishops' plan to get Congress to end birth control coverage for ALL women's health insurance. Thrilled, Mary crosses herself and gets up to leave when she accidentally bumps into up-and-coming GOP presidential candidate Nick Sartorum (Rob Lowe) whose wife recently died in childbirth and who is finally ready to learn how to love again.

Mary will try to teach him how to love again as she volunteers for his campaign, but all the while trying to keep her abortionist day job under wraps from the suspicious bishop (Jon Voight), Nick's jealous press secretary (Callista Flockhart) and a hard-nosed journalist desperate to dig up her dirt (Ryan Reynolds).

It's your choice whether you try to terminate your laughter when you see Mary try to escape hijinks like the time Ike and Nick lead a protest outside her abortion clinic!!! Oh baby, this is one romantic comedy you'll want to bring to term.

by Anonymousreply 101February 28, 2012 10:42 AM

R27's post was hilarious and dreadful in equal measure.

by Anonymousreply 102February 28, 2012 12:21 PM

Ooops, sorry, I meant R72's post, the Auschwitz one.

by Anonymousreply 103February 28, 2012 12:25 PM

r72, you are fucking evil...and fucking funny.

by Anonymousreply 104February 28, 2012 2:19 PM

ROMANCE 101

Professor Kate Mulherne (Jennifer Aniston) teaches a university-level course on "American Romance in the Postmodern Era," a class that her students inevitably call "Romance 101." ("I hate that name!" Kate laments. "I have a PhD. I'm a Fulbright Scholar! Would someone like me teach a class called Romance 101?") Kate's theory -- that the sexes are equal and romance is dead -- is shaken up when one of her students (Gerard Butler), a policeman returning to college after being shot in the line of duty, questions Kate's beliefs. Especially after he embarrasses her in class by asking about her romantic life ("I have a live-in partner with whom I share a monotonous relationship," says Kate, before clapping her hand over mouth and saying, "Monogamous relationship! I meant monogamous!") Soon the former policeman is luring Kate away from her serious academic life (cut to montage of the couple sipping coffee in a street cafe, eating caramel apples while strolling through an amusement park, riding the tilt-a-whirl, and kissing.) When Kate and her live-in boyfriend spend spring break at her parents' lakefront home (in a casting coup, the older couple are played by Ed Asner and Mary Tyler Moore), the policeman rents a nearby cottage. Matthew Broderick shines as Kate's college professor boyfriend, who gets sexually turned on by mathematics formulas and whose attempts to go fishing with Dad lead to lots of standing up in the boat with his arms spiraling before falling in the water. Wehn tragedy strikes, it's Kate's now-widowed mother who offers words of advice, "It's great to be a strong woman, but sometimes it's okay to show your soft side," that help Kate choose the right mate and get a passing grade in "Romance 101." (The ad campaign features Aniston wearing a mortarboard and short skirt, sitting on an oversized book while miniature figures of Butler and Broderick try to scale the book's sides.)

by Anonymousreply 105February 28, 2012 2:59 PM

"Love at Stake" - (2013)

Tagline - "The flames of true love never stop burning."

Successful, high-profile lawyer Libby Plymouth is Chicago's top divorce attorney. After years of failed relationships, lost loves, and dating the wrong men, Libby has become hardened and given up on love.

Libby reluctantly returns to her home town of Cuntwood, Mass., where she is being honored during the town's 400th anniversary celebration, where she stays with her parents (Diane Keaton, Craig T. Nelson) and outrageous, man-crazy younger sister Mindy (Kristin Bell). But as the clock strikes midnight on the town's 400th anniversary, Libby becomes possessed by Annabelle, the spirit of a pilgrim woman who was accused at witchcraft and burned at the stake some 400 years earlier and thus separated from her true love.

Annabelle, as Libby, searches Cuntwood for the reincarnation of her true love, William, who inhabits the body of a hunky handyman named Cliff (John Corbett). Libby/Annabelle must also deal with Mindy's slutty ways and with the revelation that their mother is a lesbian. Libby is also torn between her feelings for William/Cliff (are the feelings real?) and for James (Dermot Mulroney), a sexy professor of the occult who helps Libby rid herself of Annabelle's spirit.

by Anonymousreply 106February 28, 2012 3:10 PM

Waiting For A Star To Fall

Joanna Collinson (Aniston) is America's sweetheart. She has a huge hit tv show behind her and her movie career is just swell. But there's a hitch. Her dreamboat husband Will Webb (Ben Affleck) has just left her for his latest co-star, French superstar Virginie Belle (Academy Award winner Marion Cotillard). Virginie has a reputation for being a bisexual thief of hearts, and Joanna is desperate to win back Will.

Working with super gay gossip blogger Grey Guzzler (Wayne Knight) Joanne hatches a plan to smear Virginie with the most hateful accusations, forcing Will to leave her and return to her open arms. As Virginie's star ascends even further with all the media attention, Joanna turns to more increasingly desperate measures in an effort to slay her love rival, with the clock ticking to the world premiere of Will and Virginie's action comedy, "The Smiths of Smithsonian".

With a hilarious cameo from Barbra Streisand as Joanna's mother, and Glee's Lea Michele as Joanna's twin sister.

by Anonymousreply 107February 28, 2012 4:54 PM

Penny For Your Thoughts - Advice columnist Penny Graham (Jennifer Anniston)has it all - a syndicated column in the national weeklies, a hunky sports writer boyfriend (Robert Pattison), and a gorgeous apartment overlooking the marina. But when a gypsy fortune teller on the pier (Jennifer Coolidge) accidentally places a spell on her, Penny becomes amnesiac and enters into a May/December relationship with a crusty sea captain(Tim Allen) and finds happiness running the skipper's bait stand. When her ex boyfriend shows up to cover the annual fly fishing contest hijinks ensue and a jet ski chase scene leads to another bump on the head with Penny remembering her past, but sticking to her new found career as a master baiter.

by Anonymousreply 108February 28, 2012 5:13 PM

Keep 'em coming boys, I ned the work!

by Anonymousreply 109February 28, 2012 5:34 PM

"Love Shock" (2013)

Tagline: You're #1 in the nation, but not #1 in a number one's heart.

It's the mid-80's and Rachel Jaworski played by Jennifer Aniston and Robin McKenzie played by Cameron Diaz star as two extremely shy, overachieving bookworm girls from similiar middle-class backgrounds who meet each other The University of Connecticut on scholarship.

Desperate for the girls to break out of their shells, the parent's of both meet with their advising counselors to get ideas on what they could do to get more sociable. The advisor suggests theatre or the college radio. They girls both agree college radio because nobody will have to look at them, and they will never have to interact with anybody face-to-face.

The college radio venture starts out rocky both girls are stale, slow, and not quick witted. Callers called in telling them "how much they sucked" and "how they should be banned from radio".

After another clumsy day on the radio, Rachel accidently farts into the microphone.

Callers calling in non-stop by the hour telling them how much they rule, and how awesome they are. "Rachel & Robin Rule!"

At college parties they are worshipped, and they are treated like royalty in the small college town.

Radio, they realize, is their calling.

After graduating college Rachel & Robin venture onto Boston where they hope to hit it big. But, they are fired from every single radio gig. They venture onto other markets such as: Columbus, Atlanta, and Detroit, all places they get fired.

They then spice up their format by talking about masturbation because they are single which sky rockets their fame. A male caller called in jerking off to them which creates a media frenzy.

Next stop, New York City, where Rachel & Robin quickly become #1. “Rachel & Robin” go onto become #1 in every major market in America: Detroit, Dallas, DC, Boston, LA...they go on talk interviews land covers of Rolling Stone, they are the most talked about, and most popular radio show in history. They even land TV judging gigs like "American's Have Talent"

However...they are lonely. Their professional lives are a 9, but their personal lives are a 2.5

They both go on dates, which are never successful. They fear they will never find, “the one” because they focused so much on their career and not love, that it's too late for both of them.

This all changes when Rachel makes a comment about censorship, the FCC, and the religious right after threats of censorship by the government. Her comments spark outrage in the conservative America. Boycotts ensue.

Curious by Rachel's comments, Rick Santose, a very handsome conservative Republican played by Pierce Brosnon running for President, and "America's Quarterback" Tom Taburn, played by Tanning Chatum, want to be interviewed by Rachel & Robin.

After the interview, both Rachel and Rick, and Robin and Tom become shocked at how very smitten they were with each other. The chemistry between them was undeniable. They then begin dating, and this causes a media frenzy once again as they couples face obstacles from a conservative nation. Through it all, all weather the storm, and they go onto marry, and Rachel and Robin deliver a heat-felt speech over the air waves about how love is blind, and acceptance and freedom are the two most important values in America. America cheers them on. They are # 1 in America once again, but most importantly, they are #1 in “the one’s” heart.

“Love Shock” is a comedic and romantic tale about self-discovery, being yourself, how opposites attract, and how love harbors no judgment.

Cameron Diaz as Rachel Jaworski Jennifer Aniston as Robin McKenzie Pierce Brosnon as Rick Santose Channing Tatum as Tom Taburn

by Anonymousreply 110February 28, 2012 6:53 PM

Less is more, R110.

by Anonymousreply 111February 28, 2012 6:59 PM

How about a remark of Baby Jane with Jen as Jane and Angelina as Blanche?

Matthew Perry can play the Victor Buono role.

by Anonymousreply 112February 28, 2012 7:57 PM

Too Close to Home - 2012

Jennifer Aniston plays Kristin Sedaris, a 45 year old chain smoking actress who subsists on booze and Diet Coke. When her A-list husband (Vince Vaughan) leaves her for a young, internationally renowned sex goddess (Rachel McAdams), Kristin vows to do whatever it takes to stay relevant.

Jennifer is sure to wow audience everywhere as she slinks around in tiny dresses that show off her yam-shaped tits!

by Anonymousreply 113February 28, 2012 8:04 PM

"Somebody Stop Me!"

Public relations Superstar Reggie O'Malley (Jennifer Aniston) is Hollywood's go to girl for celebrity PR disasters. When inebriated British Bad Boy comedian Felix Randy (Daniel Radcliffe) turns a public appearance into an opportunity to make a series of offensive rhymes, facial distortions and knock knock jokes about Asians, O'Malley is called in to save his career.

After throwing Randy into rehab for a couple weeks, O'Malley organizes a "Sake Summit" between the uncooperative star and Jackie Chan (Jackie Chan)

During this process we become acquainted with O'Malley's wacky employees: Louisa Connecticut (Kate Mara) and Star Quality (Gabouri Sibide) her outrageous best friend (Demi Moore or Zachary Quinto), unbelievable parents (Karen Black and Rick Moranis), and serious drinking problem.

The plan backfires when Randy takes umbrage to Chan's Kate middleton joke, and the sake summit turns into a hilarious montage of mixed martial arts mayhem!

Left with Egg Foo Yung on her face (Literally!) Reggie's situation is only made worse when confronted by Ken Chen (John Cho), the handsome head of the local branch of the Asian Anti-defamation league live on MSNBC (special guest appearance by rachel maddow) Ken's brutally scathing assesment of Reggie's involvement in the brouhaha causes her to break down in tears and fall into a dumpster, all on live Television.

later that night John watches the incident at home with his colorful asian family. His old world mother (Mickey Rooney) is appalled and demands that he apologize to Reggie. HIs perma-bitch sister (lucy Liu) argues that he owes no apology. His brother (Dante Basco), a wise drivers ed instructor, encourages him to follow his heart.

After several sexually tense attempts to make amends, Reggie and Ken agree to bury the hatchet live on MSNBC. On the way to the taping Randy carjacks Reggies mercedes, confesses his love for her and drives her to a landmark where he makes an ass of himself while holding Reggie Hostage.

Ken drives up, and through the universal language of compassion and understanding, calms Randy down. Randy explains that his hateful comments were made form a place of fear and hurt, that he loves all people, and Ken acknowledges that sometimes good people say mean things they dont really mean. He says this while looking Reggie in the eye. She understands he is talking about their relationship and they kiss

the end.

by Anonymousreply 114February 28, 2012 10:22 PM

"And Baby Makes Seven!"- 2014, coming attraction loop

Queue humdrum instrumental music.

Voiceover: "Claudia thought she had it all under control"

(scene in well appointed OB/GYN office, Claudia (Jennifer Aniston) and Max (Balthazar Getty) browse through magazines and responds when receptionist calls her name.)

Voiceover: "Until she got a bit of news that changed EVERYTHING!"

(physician (Isaac Mizrahi) rolling ultrasound wand and looks up from monitor) "You're having quintuplets!"

(Max falls backwards, Claudia shrieks!)

Queue first 'Yeah, yeah, yeah' chorus from Duffy's hit 'Mercy'

Voiceover: "Now Claudia has to rethink what it REALLY means to be in control of the situation!"

(scene cuts to Costco, Max and Claudia have two shopping carts with mountains of baby supplies)

scene cuts to Claudia grabbing store manager by lapels)

Claudia: "If you don't let me use the bathroom I'll rip your scrotum out through your eyes!"

Another 'Yeah, yeah, yeah' from Duffy

Voiceover: "Sometimes life doesn't always work according to plan"

Queue serious and somber instrumental music

(scene cuts to delivery room, everyone in scrubs and masks, Claudia and Max in distress)

Physician: "I don't hear a heartbeat"

Scene cuts to disheveled living room, African American nanny (Angela Basset) holding two babies at once, speaking to Claudia)

Nanny: "I think instead of worrying about when you can go back to the office, you need to start thinking about how these babies are going to need more than 15 minutes of face-time from their mother each day."

(camera cuts to Claudia, holding two more babies)

Claudia: "I guess I just never had to think of anyone but myself."

Voiceover: "Sometimes it's the little things that mean the most."

Queue more 'Yeah, yeah, yeah' from Duffy

Title card: "And Baby Makes Seven!"

Voiceover: "Coming soon to select theaters, rated PG-13 some material may be inappropriate for children."

Yeah I know, less is more. This seemed funnier before I typed it.

by Anonymousreply 115February 28, 2012 10:56 PM

I would pay to see r106

by Anonymousreply 116February 28, 2012 10:59 PM

These are all hysterical. More or less. Eff the haters. This is the best thread in a long time.

by Anonymousreply 117February 28, 2012 11:08 PM

R105 I can completely visualize that.

And completely see some studio hack taking that exact idea and pitching it, with great success.

by Anonymousreply 118February 28, 2012 11:17 PM

I would totally go see "Brief Encounter." Hell, half of these pitches are better than anything Aniston has had in years!

by Anonymousreply 119February 28, 2012 11:18 PM

This is one of the best threads. I haven't laughed this much in a long time. I love the abortionist one!

by Anonymousreply 120February 28, 2012 11:23 PM

I love the cerebral palsy movie.

by Anonymousreply 121February 29, 2012 12:00 AM

Trust me, I know! 2013

Successful NYC therapist to the stars Carrie Atwater (Aniston) has a never ending list of high profile clientele. She listens to their moaning about their great movie star lifestyles day in and day out, but secretly wishes she was one of them.

That's when she falls for new client Topher Manpower (Bradley Cooper), a movie star who just struck it big. She longs for the life the two could have together so she starts secretly derailing his current relationship with starlet Amber Harwood (Olivia Munn) so she can have him all to herself. She even advises Topher to publicly dump Amber to make it official. But Carrie quickly realizes that she's crossing a professional line.....should she be willing to risk it all in the name of love?

by Anonymousreply 122February 29, 2012 12:31 AM

There are about 5 of these that I could seriously see being greenlit.

by Anonymousreply 123February 29, 2012 12:47 AM

Baby Daddy - 2012

Sinead Arman (Jennifer Aniston) and Mallory Tucker (Kate Hudson) have always been in constant competition for everything in life. In kindergarten and highschool it was school grades, then at college, it was boys, now they are in search of the perfect husband and competing for the same guy, a high powered lawyer Justan Dyck (Matthew Mcconaughey).

However Justan is a 35 year old virgin/mama's boy who although successful, still lives with his overbearing, protective mother Eleanor (Diane Keaton)

Follow the gals hijincks as they both try to woo Justan and gain the approval of his mother.

by Anonymousreply 124February 29, 2012 12:49 AM

I would start a Jennifer Aniston movie collection because of these movie ideas.

by Anonymousreply 125February 29, 2012 4:14 AM

Please no more. Why are you encouraging this bitch to keep acting.

by Anonymousreply 126February 29, 2012 4:22 AM

Just JEN! - a captivating behind the scenes documentary following the a raucous weekend in the life of America's darling. From a morning bitchfest with pals Courteney Cox and Andrea Bendewald over tepid coffee and cigs, to a cover shoot for Vanity Fair, to a power lunch with her agent interupted by her pot connection, to a dual Brazilian wax appointment with new gal pal Chelsea Handler, to an impomptu souvlaki snack with dad, Days of Our Lives octogenarian starvJohn Anniston to a red carpet encounter with ex-Brad Pitt and his new - ISH squeeze Angelina Jolie, viewers will choke on their popcorn wondering just how in hell Jen does it all. Featuring cameos by Vince Vaughn, Matt LeBlanc, Paul Rudd, and Sofia Vargara (Jen doesn't know her but Sofia is in everything these days. A Philip Glass underlines both the complexity and simplicity of "the gal next door", People's Choice Award winner Jennifer Aniston.

by Anonymousreply 127February 29, 2012 3:02 PM

Some of these are so horribly plausible that they should be made.

And if Jennifer Anniston doesn't star in them, she's going to be sorry.

by Anonymousreply 128February 29, 2012 3:17 PM

A Real Gas - Kimber Rhodes, a public relations exec, goes on a much needed vacation to New Orleans with her gay BFF Toby they rebuff the pleas of a destitute voodoo priestess Zenobia(Viola Davis) for some spare change, and Kimber makes a misunderstood remark about victims from Hurricane Katrina that Zenobia takes as a racial slur. She pulls at Kimber's hair, but Toby pulls her away and they run off. Zenobia takes a few strands of Kimber's hair and curses her in a foreign language, which translates into "you will fart at the most inopportune moments". The curse costs Kimber her boyfriend, her job and eventually she becomes a social outcast until she meets a handsome Cajun chef Etienne Avoirdupois(Justin Theroux) who realizes that a curse has been placed on her. The two travel back to New Orleans, where Kimber's curse is cured, but not before she gets a lesson in tolerance after a side trip through the Ninth Ward. She ends up marrying Etienne and they have a little girl who they name Toby Zenobia, after her BFF and her new and forgiving voodoo priestess friend.

Directed by Tate Taylor.

by Anonymousreply 129February 29, 2012 6:02 PM

You've got Oscar bait, r129. It would be both hilarious and touching.

by Anonymousreply 130February 29, 2012 6:11 PM

"Mein Kampf, Too" (2014)

Tagline: "Heil? Uh...Heil!"

In a slip back to the black and white silent film era, Jennifer Aniston portrays Zelda Schwarzkopf, a well-known and highly respected theatre director in Austria in 1939, at the height of WWII. Nazis and Germans travel far and wide to be entertained by her productions to escape the hardships of war for a little while.

But, trouble ensued when Adolf Hitler himself grew ill and was unable to ruthlessly dictate. Right-hand man and WWII architect Henrich Himmler recalls a play in which Schwarzkopf plays a man and convincingly! He summons Schwarzkopf to Germany for a meeting and requests she disguise herself as Hitler and fill in for him once he recovers.

Buffoonery, chaos, and hilarity follow as Zelda tries her very best to play-off Adolf Hitler to Nazi Germans in his Bertolt Brecht classic.

"Mein Kampf, Too" is a comedic satire about the ruthlessness of Adolf Hitler and Nazi Germany.

Jennifer Aniston as Hitler

by Anonymousreply 131February 29, 2012 6:27 PM

I like R129. Can I be in it?

by Anonymousreply 132February 29, 2012 8:51 PM

Bump! This thread makes my life.

by Anonymousreply 133February 29, 2012 11:08 PM

The names given to the Aniston characters make me giggle

by Anonymousreply 134February 29, 2012 11:57 PM

"Off Key" (2014)

Ellie "Key" Keyston(Jennifer Aniston)dreamed of becoming a famous songwriter/music producer, but after an epic failure early in her career,(she was given the chance to write and produce an album for an aging pop diva that was a moderate success, but that resulted in a lawsuit filed by her ex-boyfriend, who was able to prove that he co-wrote many of her compositions)she was practically blacklisted by the industry. Ten years later she is reduced to ghostwriting for various pop acts, including new pop music sensation, Champ'elle (Hayden Panettiere).

While demoralized by her past failure and her present occupation, Ellie has found a happy equilibrium in her life, due to the material success that her ghostwriting has afforded her, and her new relationship with a pleasant, if emotionally distant and, sometimes, dismissive Oscar-winning composer Matthew Janklemann(Jason Segal).

While working with Champ'elle on her sophmore effort, "Goes Down Smooth" Ellie bonds with Champ'elle over shared childhood experiences, such as being "band nerds" and having had busy, disengaged parents. Just as Ellie becomes convinced that Champ'elle is more than just a spoiled rotten semi-talent, the latter becomes involved in a romantic relationship with another pop music artist, Eric Shyne(Justin Timberlake).

Champelle instructs Ellie to "write a hit" for her and Eric to sing as a duet. As a part of her writing process, Ellie begins to spend time in the studio with Eric(Champ'elle constantly makes excuses to avoid the studio, particularly chronic migraine headaches, and later Ellie sees paparazzi photos of her shopping and partying).

While working together to write a love song, Eric and Ellie share stories of lost and unrequited love, and before long are sharing lingering touches and meaningful stares. Though Eric seems to genuinely care for Champ'elle, she lets it slip to Ellie that she thinks that Eric is "a dork" and that she is only with him for the publicity and increased album sales.

Ellie realizes that she has developed real feelings for Eric and is torn between him and her new found friendship with Champ'elle. Things are further complicated, when Ellie and Eric take a break from working in the studio to have a late dinner and a paparazzo snaps a photo of them together, looking a little too cozy, that is then splashed all over the pages of every tabloid in the country.

Champ'elle feels threatened, Matthew feels neglected and Ellie is unsure of the full extent of Eric's feeling for her. Will Ellie risk it all for a relationship in the spotlight with a much younger man, or will she accept the status quo in order to keep the peace?

With an unbilled cameo by Charlize Theron as the aging pop diva, still pissed after all these years.

by Anonymousreply 135March 1, 2012 12:12 AM

I love R105, and can totally imagine it being greenlit.

What's cracking me up is in all these is, "___has it all. . ."

by Anonymousreply 136March 1, 2012 12:20 AM

"Bonfire of the Manatees"

Marla Summers (Jennifer Aniston) is a stay-at-home mom trying to hold her household together when her hubby, Herb (Kevin James), gets into big trouble when his sure-thing bet on the Super Bowl costs him $25,000. As compensation, Herb's bookie (Patton Oswalt) wants to use the Summers home for shooting the adult film "Lemony Lick-It's A Series of Unlubricated Events."

Herb convinces Marla and the kids to leave the house so the shooting can go down and he can pay off the debt without telling Marla, but Herb's goose is cooked when Marla and the kids return home to find the production is still underway!

An outraged Marla leaves to check into the airport-adjacent Ramada Inn and leaves Herb to fend for himself and the kids. But just as Marla is about ready to return realizing she's forgiven Herb for worse, she encounters Dr. Caleb Thorn (Liev Schreiber), a good-looking scientist with a passion for saving the endangered manatee.

Herb and the kids go on a quest to find Marla at the same time she is finding herself while helping to save manatees. Yet while there Caleb helps Marla realize that Herb is still the man she fell in love with and the problem is that she still expects him to change.

Herb decides to win Marla back by saving a herd of manatees from a gang of abusing jet skiers. The gang initially agreed to go, but return after they hear Herb calling them 'rubes'. He attempts to organize the manatees to battle the gang, but they all flee.

Despite Herb's failure, Marla is impressed by his efforts to save the manatees and declares she is taking home "the real endangered species": "a devoted husband".

by Anonymousreply 137March 1, 2012 2:14 AM

Sure r132 (Kate). You can be the gay bff. We'll put you in drag and you will be like Linda Hunt in The Year of Living Dangerously. That Oscar that eluded you in Almost Famous? This time, it will be YOURS.

by Anonymousreply 138March 1, 2012 2:33 AM

Jen bump

by Anonymousreply 139March 1, 2012 1:45 PM

Soooooo....for shits and giggles I took the r27 response of "Oh No You Didn't", copied it, pasted in pictures of Aniston and Beyonce and left it on the table in the breakroom. Within ten minutes, our admin, picked it up, read it and asked if this was out on DVD and went on to say how much she loves Jennifer Aniston. She then handed it to another co-worker who asked "Where did this come from?" I said "I think "People". " To which she replied "oh". And added she wished "Friends" was still on. I said, "It is. Constantly on TBS". "I don't get cable anymore" was the reply, "I'm saving up for Vegas".

Try this at your own job. People are gullible AND the humor on this site if unleashed could cause all kinds of problems in the world at large.

by Anonymousreply 140March 1, 2012 2:47 PM

.

by Anonymousreply 141March 1, 2012 4:22 PM

"Eric Shyne"

by Anonymousreply 142March 2, 2012 12:35 AM

Vanity Project Alert!

"mARIa" (2014)

Jennifer Aniston directs and stars in the film adaptation of the critically panned and historically inaccurate book, "The Diva."

She was a world renowned opera star. He was a ruthless billionaire. The celebrated love story of Maria Callas and Aristotle Onassis comes to the big screen at long last! Featuring Jennifer Aniston as Maria Callas, James Gandolfini as Aristotle Onassis, Milla Jovavich as Jacqueline Kennedy, and introducing Snooki as Christina Onassis.

by Anonymousreply 143March 2, 2012 3:16 AM

First Prize

ELIZABETH GOLDIE (Aniston) seems like she has it all: a two bedroom apartment in Manhatten, a hilarious younger sister sister (Kristen Wiig)for a neighbor, an adorable Yorkshire terrier Molly, and a job as a journalist at the New Yorker. Alas, she passes by her empty bedroom every morning, a reminder that she wants a family most of all.

Enter a chance encounter with a dreamy man HENRY(Robert Pattinson) who is smitten by her- or is it actually her dog he has been complimenting the whole time?- who invites the pair to the Westminster Dog Show. Jill convinces her boss (Eddie Izzard) to let her write about the show so she can accept what she thinks is a date.

Once at Westminster, Jill realizes that Henry has really been preening over Molly the dog. At the show Elizabeth spots her lovelorn doorman ANTHONY (Gerard Butler) and his great Dane. Can Elizabeth open herself up to his long-unanswered, but totally not creepy advances? As she writes her article, Elizabeth realizes that you can never count out the underdog.

Includes a hilarious cameo by Robin Williams (or Zach Galifianakis) as a kennel judge who is fascinated by dog "tail," enthusiastically recalling his first piece of first-class, award-show caliber tail. bgo314

by Anonymousreply 144March 2, 2012 9:20 PM

Wait - Goldie's sister is a sister? You mean she's a nun living in swinging Manhattan?

by Anonymousreply 145March 2, 2012 9:29 PM

r145 it's a broad comedy.

No, it's a typo. My b

by Anonymousreply 146March 2, 2012 9:35 PM

"A Bitter Pill to Swallow"

Alexandra Duke (Jennifer Aniston) is a late '20s law student and feminist activist trying to get her Catholic university to cover birth control pills and who winds up called to Congress to talk about it when a contraception controversy flares up on Capitol Hill. Her political activism leaves her little time date, although she still finds time to unwind and socialize online under her screenname, "blondejustice."

Blitz Lindbergh (Woody Harrelson) is a middle-aged conservative shock jock addicted to oxycontin pills who in the middle of a drug-addled rant about this controversy refers to Alexandra as a "cunt" and "fucking whore" and winds up in hot water with his sponsors but with huge ratings. The thrice-divorced unreformed bachelor unsurprisingly finds his encounters with the ladies limited to prostitutes, but in his Internet life he is able to express a more sensitive and romantic side through the online persona, "loveaddict."

When "blondejustice" and "loveaddict" begin a cybersex relationship after meeting on a web forum for displaced Montreal Expos fans, it's love at first type! Soon they are trading e-mails, but because of Blitz's infamy and Alexandra's embarrassment over the birth control controversy they agree to set boundaries on the online relationship: no specifics, including no names, career or class information, or family connections.

Eventually though, this is not enough and both want to expand the relationship even while they are afraid to expose their identities. Blitz is more controversial and popular than ever with his ongoing and escalating attacks on Alexandra, who has just announced plans to run for Congress in Maryland after becoming a liberal media darling in the wake of the public sympathy she engendered and grace she showed after Blitz's attack.

So Blitz proposes a night of phone sex with the plan to enlist his horndog pal, Jimmy (David Spade), to say the things that he whispers in his ear during the phone call. An excited Alexandra is intrigued but doesn't agree until she can convince her slutbag BFF, Heather, (Chelsea Handler), to play her role in the call.

When the phone sex goes great for Heather and Jimmy... but not so great for Blitz and Alexandra, their friends each convince them that they have to get over their fears and hangups, and finally meet in person. Yet when Alexandra and Blitz meet atop the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day to discover their online loves are their real-life rivals, boy is it a bitter pill to swallow!

Directed by Nora Ephron

by Anonymousreply 147March 2, 2012 10:39 PM

Eula Belle(2012) Jennifer Anniston in a change of pace role as a backwoods Kentucky woman who bore her first child at 12 and now faces Revenuers coming onto her land to develop a super highway. Eula Belle is championed by environmental activist Georgianna Levin (Maya Rudolph) who takes Eula Belle to testify before the Kentucky State Legislature to testify that her land is hers and won't be taken over. Justin Bieber guest stars as Eula Belle's grandson Eli and sings the song 'Hula Hula Golden Minkus'. Filmed on location in Frankfurt, KY and the Pemberton Farm in Lexington, KY.

by Anonymousreply 148March 2, 2012 11:18 PM

R144, is her name Elizabeth or Jill? WHO IS JILL?

I can however very easily picture Robert Pattinson preening over a dog.

by Anonymousreply 149March 2, 2012 11:39 PM

OMG r140. Are you serious??? Fraus really love Jen. They feel sorry for her and feel her life would be complete if she found the right guy and had a baby.

by Anonymousreply 150March 3, 2012 1:24 AM

R148's started off good...

by Anonymousreply 151March 3, 2012 4:01 AM

Deidre Collins (Jennifer Aniston) comes into an inheritance from her favourite aunt (Jennifer Coolidge) who has passed away. She gains the deed to Aunt Mariah's house, but there's a catch, the deed is under both her name, and her step cousin's, Gary (Justin Timberlake).

Having grown up being constantly picked on and tormented by Gary, the two find themselves in a hostile environment, both attempting to get each other to sign the deed over by setting up pranks, and making each other’s lives hell, in order to gain sole ownership.

With a whole bunch of hi-jinx and the cast ultimately falling for one and other, hilarity ensues.

by Anonymousreply 152March 3, 2012 4:18 AM

BEST thread in ages!!!

by Anonymousreply 153March 3, 2012 10:58 AM

This thread- more than anything has put a smile on my face the last few weeks.

by Anonymousreply 154March 3, 2012 11:19 AM

[QUOTE]Alexandra Duke (Jennifer Aniston) is a late '20s law student

Nominated for "Best Fictional Screenplay" this year is Nora Ephron...

by Anonymousreply 155March 3, 2012 11:29 AM

"It's All About Me, OK?" (2012) In her first eagerly awaited Holocaust romcom, Jennifer Aniston plays Shoshana Goldfarb, an Auschwitz jew who is repeatedly selected for gassing because of her perkiness by SS Officer Magda (Angela Jolie, looking spectacular in black). Creating sparks and romantic tension, Brad Pitt plays Sondakommando oven stoker Isador Weinberg who saves her from being spitroasted.

by Anonymousreply 156March 3, 2012 12:14 PM

r156 - REALLY?

by Anonymousreply 157March 3, 2012 1:24 PM

Remake of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf (2013):

George - Gerard Butler Martha - Jennifer Aniston Nick - Owen Wilson Honey - Kate Hudson

by Anonymousreply 158March 3, 2012 3:16 PM

Finally, For Real

Connie Havenstock (Jennifer Anniston) has it all; fabulous apartment, cute and sexy boyfriend (Dane Cook) and a terrific job as the ghostwriter for the mega successful romance writer Damara Steele (Fiona Shaw).

One day, while stopping in the street to pick up her dropped iPhone, Connie is hit by a bus and wakes up in the hospital. She's fine, except she now thinks SHE is Damara Steele! Short term memory loss meets amnesia meets vicious bitchiness not seen since Dynasty days!

Watch these two ladies spar in public, in private, all over New York as they attempt to prove who is the REAL queen of romance fiction.

With Nick Cannon as the ER doctor, Busy Phillips as Damara's personal assistant, and special guest star Robert DeNiro as Connie's gruff father.

Will Connie find her real memories? Will Damara fall for Connie's dad? Will Dane Cook show his ass?

by Anonymousreply 159March 3, 2012 3:17 PM

"Digital"- Jen plays Veronica Adair, a smalltown TV reporter who lands a coveted anchor job on the East Coast- replacing a scandal-ridden veteran personality. But soon after starting, creepy things start happening. Her beloved Persian falls from the balcony of her swanky penthouse; her teleprompter spells out "my pussy stinks"; an old sex video pops-up during the weather... When her troubled sister (Anna McKendrick) disappears, a handsome detective (Matthew McConnaughey) is assigned the case. Rated NC-17. Steve Steverson: Mel Gibson. Mom: Margot Kidder. Edward: Giovanni Ribisi.

by Anonymousreply 160March 3, 2012 4:01 PM

Digital, Too Having survived the horrific events of the first film at the hands of her evil, deranged identical twin, Veronica settles into her new life as a new anchor. Having made amends with her mom Margot Kidder for keeping her twin Valerie a secret for 29 years, Veronica and her boyfriend Matthew McConnaughey seem to have it all. But when a series killer starts killing the go-go boys at the hot gay night club BeachBalls, McConnaughey goes undercover to investigate, and disappears. With the help of her brother in law Played by Chris Evans, the two infiltrate a sexy dark world of sex, gay sex, and sex. With Eva Mendes as a lipstick lesbian and Ryan O'Neal as the owner of BeachBalls. Special cameo by Erik Rhodes.

by Anonymousreply 161March 3, 2012 5:29 PM

"My Girlfriend is Out of Town" (2013)

Tagline: "My girl's gone for the weekend..."

Jennifer Aniston stars as Bianca Romeijn-Robertson, the girlfriend of a "straight" guy who cruises craigslist looking for hot M4M action while she's out of town.

Ever wonder what these "out-of-town" girlfriend's of straight guys looking for hot gay sex do for a living? Well, wonder no more. Romeijn-Robertson works as a dental hygienist, but has only ventured into her new dental career after having left the CIA working within the top-secret archaeological department. And, she's quite thankful to have finally left this high-energy and extremely stressful job.

Unfortunately, however, the joys of scrapping tarter, and "go ahead and spit for me" are numbered as the CIA has called her back for an assignment she's the only one knowledge about and qualified to do.

Her assignment is to uncover a mysterious weapon that secret Nazi scientists attempted to manufacture in Egypt as terrorists have located this partially built weapon and plan to finish the job and destroy all of mankind with it. So, that means, Bianca is going to be gone for the weekend and you know that means for her boyfriend...

"My Girlfriend is Out of Town" is an adventure sci-fi story about espionage, the mysteries of WWII, and the wonderment of uncovered truth.

Jennifer Aniston as Bianca Romeijn-Robertson

by Anonymousreply 162March 3, 2012 6:48 PM

Charlotte Merriwether Maypole (2013)

Jennifer Aniston stars as Charlotte Merriwether Maypole, the 29 year old trophy wife to Mortimer Maypole (Donald Sutherland) a mega wealthy hedge fund genius. She has it all, and her biggest problems are which color Porsche to drive on any given day, and dealing with her much older step children (Catherine Zeta Jones and Josh Lucas). That is, until her husband commits suicide and his Ponzi scheme is exposed. Turns out there is no money, and worse, Charlotte's name is all over the documents. Legally, she's on the hook for the missing billions!

This unique film, and mixture of drama and black comedy, brings to light the perils of modern culture. Join Charlotte as she at first resists dealing with her problems and then has a change of heart when an older couple Bert and Sylvie Vanderbeg (Doris Roberts and Peter O'Toole), their entire savings wiped out, come to live with her in the mansion (which is to be sold at auction).

Watch her fight, then come to care for her spoiled, bratty stepchildren who blame her to all their problems.

You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you will want to get to know Charlotte Merriwether Maypole

by Anonymousreply 163March 3, 2012 7:57 PM

A remake of the 1982 film, "Kiss Me Goodbye", with Ms. Aniston, of course as Kay,Jude Law as Jolly and Hugh Laurie as Rupert.

Soundtrack by She & Him.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 164March 3, 2012 9:31 PM

I have tears in my eyes from laughing so much. Genius one and all!

by Anonymousreply 165March 3, 2012 9:34 PM

The only Jennifer Aniston film I've seen is "The Object of my Affection", so I have to ask. Is she still playing twentysomething women in her awful romcoms? A lot of the script ideas in this thread have her playing women in their late twenties? She isn't that delusional about herself, is she?

I think she should just go ahead and star in the Babs role in a remake of "What's Up, Doc?" She's already done the tribute photo shoot, so she might as well go all the way and give us her take on one of Babs' most popular roles.

by Anonymousreply 166March 3, 2012 9:44 PM

Tales Of The City

In the first cinematic adaptation of Armistead Maupin's classic novels from the 70s, Jennifer Aniston takes on one of the 20th century's literary heroines. As fresh faced Mary-Ann Singleton, Aniston's wide eyed innocence is on display in abundance as she takes in the new world around her.

Featuring Zak Efron as Michael Tolliver, Channing Tatum as Brian, Lindsey Lohan as Mona Ramsey, two-time Academy Award winner Kevin Spacey as Norman Williams and Academy Award winner Vanessa Redgrave as the mystical Anna Madrigan.

by Anonymousreply 167March 3, 2012 9:56 PM

r166 Jenn is like CZJ. Perpetually 29, fresh faced, dewy...

by Anonymousreply 168March 3, 2012 10:16 PM

'Pretty In Pixels' (2012)

Jennifer Aniston plays Cheryl, the lonely wife of a fey Republican candidate (Ryan Seacrest in his first big screen role). Battling feminine odour issues and seeking affirmation, she haunts a gay message board. When hubby stumbles upon one of her desperate online postings and its replies "Try shoving up a Glade PlugIn!" he campaigns to shut down the company -- that is, until compromising photos of him wearing little more than a leash at a 'Bear Meet' are leaked to the media. Wishing to save her husband further embarrassment, Cheryl/Aniston confronts the webmaster, with unexpected results.

by Anonymousreply 169March 3, 2012 11:28 PM

R169 you take the prize.

by Anonymousreply 170March 3, 2012 11:46 PM

"The Surrogate"

Jennifer Aniston plays Annie Alinsky, a woman who, following the end of her childless marriage to an unfaithful actor, has devoted the past ten years as an egg donor and surrogate to Hollywood's gay elite. When Annie agrees to carry the child of closeted TV star Chad Plomer (Henry Cavill) and his high-powered publicist boyfriend Bryan Wahls (Christoph Waltz), she sees it as just another payday. But she's surprised to find a kindred spirit in Chad, himself a victim of an evil ex-boyfriend, and the two become BFFs. However, when Chad takes the baby-bumped Annie along to Rodeo Drive to help him choose wedding bands for his commitment ceremony, they're ambushed by the paps, and a flustered Chad tells them that Annie is his fiancee and carrying his child.

Now, in order to save Chad's career, Bryan must pull out all the stops to make Chad and Annie seem like a real couple, including offering Annie $1 million to play Chad's wife for the next three years. (Did we mention Annie could use that money to save her parents' dairy farm?) Annie is all to eager to help out her new friends, but things take an unexpected turn when Chad's old friend from the University of Pittsburgh, Sal Domenicci (Joe Manganiello, because I can't think of anyone else) shows up, and Annie realizes that he's the one. As her fake wedding to Chad approaches, and the baby's due date in sight, Annie must decide whether or not she can declare her love for Sal before he goes back to Pittsburgh to marry his own fiancee, or if she should go ahead and help Chad and Bryan, even if it means losing her last shot at true love. It all comes to a head at the elaborately staged, press-mobbed wedding ceremony!

And you better believe that Annie's water will break while she's wearing her wedding dress.

With David Burtka as the Zachary Quinto character.

by Anonymousreply 171March 4, 2012 12:41 AM

"Young As Springtime In New York" (2013)

Fiona Sounder (Jennifer Aniston) and Felicity Huffer-Felch (Catherine Zeta-Jones) are two fresh-faced recent college grads who have come to the Big Apple to find careers, love and happiness. Felicity lands an assistant job at a blue-chip law firm, and Fiona becomes (in five minutes of screen-time) a rising tv news journalist. The two BFF's spend their spare time in a series of shopping montages at designer boutiques and hilariously singing off-key to Motown classics in the 2000 sq. ft. Soho loft (with 360-degree Manhattan views) they share as roommates.

These two young gals seem to have everything except....love! That's when Fiona's mother (Julia Roberts) and Felicity's mother (Meg Ryan) come to town and try to find eligible men for their two young single daughters. Hilarity ensues!

by Anonymousreply 172March 4, 2012 1:08 AM

This is one of the funniest threads in a while! And so sad and scary that some of these could be a real film

There are a lot of duds, but the gems make it worthwhile. My top 10 favorites below. Perhaps someone can start a new thread and we can all vote for the best one.

OPtI Know, Right R3tJust Let It Happen R10tYou Too R16tPour Me Another R27tOh No You Didn’t R51tLike, You Know, Whatever R65tWingwoman R122 Trust me, I know! R144 First Prize R171 The Surrogate

by Anonymousreply 173March 4, 2012 1:23 AM

As a lark, I pitched "Wingwoman" to a lit agent friend.

Now I have a 9:30am meeting at Disney on Monday.

Thanks DL!

by Anonymousreply 174March 4, 2012 5:53 PM

"Is she still playing twentysomething women in her awful romcoms?"

45 is the new 25.

"Friends: On The Rocks" (2020)- The cast of the hit sitcom is re-united for their 4th full-length feature film. All still unmarried at 50, the gang takes a single's cruise to Antarctica. Tragedy strikes as the ship hits an iceberg, and they have to escape on a lifeboat to the glacial mainland, surviving the only way they know how- with their wits!Tom Selleck: Captain Southpole. Ron Perlman: Bigfoot. Directed by Rocco Ritchie.

by Anonymousreply 175March 4, 2012 6:14 PM

"All Hallows Eve" (2012)- Aniston portrays Evelyn Waddles, a frumpy Assistant Librarian somewhere in Massachusetts. Socially awkward, unambitious and dateless ("since we had card catalogues") she spends her evenings sewing and watching repeats of "Friends". Then... a mysterious Wiccan patron (Courtney Love) gives her a homemade "love potion"- and all hell breaks loose! Popper: Carson Kressley. Artie: Aidan Quinn. Mrs. Selwyn: Karen Black. Anton: Marilyn Manson.

by Anonymousreply 176March 4, 2012 6:51 PM

"Sean Fisher" (2013)

Tagline: "Take it like a man..."

Welcome to Shenandoah Trailer Park, Community of 400 of the most pleasant, passionate, outspoken group this side of Howell, Michigan.

Meet Crystal Brewer, portrayed by Jennifer Aniston, and her gay best friend, Seth Deakins.

Crystal and Seth both have big dreams. Seth creams of New York City and fashion, and Crystal dreams of becoming a telephone switchboard operator for Vogue Magazine, like Lily Tomlin on Laugh In.

But, the only problem is, they don't have enough money to venture out east. Until one day Crystal is inspired by an MTV True Life documentary about how "lucrative" gay porn is.

However, that's easier said that done - especially for Seth. Upon being interviewed by the gay porn producer of "Sean Fisher", Seth and Crystal were told that Seth is gay, and that “Sean Fisher” only hires straight guys. After much convincing by Crystal, the "gay porn Angel" agrees to hire Seth, but only under one condition: he coaches Seth how to act "straight" while having gay sex. Under intense scrutiny, Seth is schooled on how to sit like a straight guy, how to walk like a straight guy, how to talk like a straight guy, how to interact with other guys like a straight guy, how to tongue guys like a straight guy, and to fuck like a straight guy having gay sex.

Does Seth succeed? Or, does he learn a valuable lesson about loving who he is no matter what. You'll have to wait and see!

Seth Fisher is a dark comedy about self-hate, homophobia, accepting yourself, following your dreams, and never giving up hope.

Jennifer Aniston as Crystal Brewer

by Anonymousreply 177March 4, 2012 7:13 PM

Ms. VanHelsing(2012): The vampire horror genre welcomes this ambitious effort from Jennifer Anniston playing the great great granddaughter of the Dracula hunter. Cindy VanHelsing is a quiet English professor, awaiting tenure, at Stanford University who is juggling an inattentive boyfriend, Professor Mike Morton(Channing Tatum), a Nursing Home bound mother, Charlotte (Sally Field) and an irreplaceable housekeeper, Tally(Marla Gibbs). Cindy is challenged by the great great grandson of the Count, Baron Latos (Matt Bomer) who attempts to seduce her into the netherworld and end the rift between the House of Dracula and the VanHelsings. Things heat up when Charlotte confesses to Cindy their past and her own battles with the Count. What will Cindy do when Mike is kidnapped by the Three Brides of Dracula and is about to be sacrificed on the Dark Altar? Henry Winkler in a cameo as Count Dracula. 120 mins.

by Anonymousreply 178March 4, 2012 9:04 PM

If anything comes of it, I'd like an executive producer credit, R174.

by Anonymousreply 179March 4, 2012 9:21 PM

The great work of posters like R65 are being ruined by posters like R177 and R178. PLEASE, if you don't get the point of this thread, post somewhere else! GEEZ!

by Anonymousreply 180March 6, 2012 1:31 AM

Am I the only one who didn't think "Wingwoman" was the best thing ever?

And I'm not just saying that out of jealousy for the lack of a greenlight for "of "Brief Liason" "Mission Aborted" and "A Bitter Pill to Swallow" (or "Bonfire of the Manatees" but that was just cribbing a Simpsons episode and seeing if anyone would notice... they didn't)...

by Anonymousreply 181March 6, 2012 2:51 AM

The horrifying thing is that in today's Hollywood, several of these posts could actually be made into movies by Hollywood studios exactly as the posters wrote them. "Wingwoman" would have studios salivating at turning it into a movie. Seriously, that is depressing, but these posts are hilarious.

by Anonymousreply 182March 6, 2012 3:32 AM

Give me some notes, R181.

And for the record, I'd totally greenlight "Mission Aborted".

I like "Brief Liaison", but you'd need to re-think casting a little bit. Bradley Cooper would make a better arrogant rival attorney/love interest (or Jason Bateman if you want a more "everyman" type), the klepto starlet needs to be played by Lea Michele (in her motion picture debut!)

The female air marshal needs to be played by Academy Award Winner Octavia Spencer ("I swear I only punched her out because I thought she was a dude!")

by Anonymousreply 183March 6, 2012 3:34 AM

I like the Jennifer Aniston as Hitler movie. Greenlight it, please.

by Anonymousreply 184March 6, 2012 3:41 AM

Meh

by Anonymousreply 185March 6, 2012 3:43 AM

I love to eat the shit of gay for pay porn stars.

by Anonymousreply 186March 6, 2012 3:46 AM

huh

by Anonymousreply 187March 6, 2012 3:50 AM

R186: I think we know each other. This is freaky!

by Anonymousreply 188March 7, 2012 4:23 AM

WAIT FOR IT...!

Thirtysomething book promoter Vicky St. Victor (Jennifer Aniston) has a thriving career, great friends (half the cast of BRIDESMAIDS), and no time for a boyfriend.

Her newest client is dashing, ne'er do well author Clive Devlin (Jack Davenport of SMASH) arrives in town to promote his bestselling novel CAD -it's hate (or is it?) at first sight.

After a fling at a boozy book party, Vicky realizes that she's late...uh oh! Time for gay best friend to rush to her side with an EPT test (George Clooney, in an sure to be award winning role - because don't worry ladies, HE'S NOT REALLY GAY)

But Vicky's so busy she can't be alone for two minutes to pee on the instant pregnancy stick and WAIT FOR IT - see the results.

by Anonymousreply 189March 7, 2012 8:16 PM

.

by Anonymousreply 190March 7, 2012 8:40 PM

"This Can't Be Happening" (2013)

Sharon Shakleford seems to have it all--a gorgeous, rich fiance, Charlie (James Marsden),and a rising career as a life-coach.

One fateful night, Sharon and Charlie attend a fundraiser, after which they begin a make-out session in the back of Charlie's limo. Between kisses and caresses, they decide to go back to Sharon's apartment. Sharon and Charlie begin to have sex in the living room and eventually, he presses her naked body (or the body double's naked body) against the living room window. The drapes are open, and everyone in the building across the street are treated to the sight of Sharon's naked, undulating body.

Moments later Jack Merriweather (Jonah Hill), is painting a He-Man action figure, when he looks out of his bedroom window to see Sharon, buck naked, getting pounded from behind. He quickly stands up to get a better look, knocking over the molten plastic he was using to restore the action figure, burning his lap and pubic area.

Due in part to his humiliation, and in part to the goading of his over-bearing mother with whom he has an unnaturally close relationship (Sharon Stone), Jack decides to sue Charlie and Sharon for five million dollars.

Though he is sure that the law suit will be found frivolous and go absolutely no where, it forces Charlie to admit a shameful secret--he's broke. All that is left is a few hundred thousand and his apartment--the rest was stolen by a Bernie Madoff type, who was once his boss. But, Charlie has a plan: Sharon can seduce the hapless and lonely Jack and convince him to drop the lawsuit.

Through much arguing and prodding, Sharon finally agrees, but soon finds that Jack is a kind, giving soul who not only restores people's old childhood toys for them, but restores old toys and gives them to various children's charities throughout the city. When he invites her to a children's cancer ward to hand out toys to sick little ones, all the while telling them detailed stories about the toys' origins, Sharon doubts that she can go through with the plan. When he gives her the Barbie doll she wanted for Christmas when she was seven, along with the Dreamhouse, Ken doll and all of the accessories, perfectly restored, she becomes afraid that she's falling in love with him.

Will Sharon continue with the charade, or will she confess to Jack, and risk losing him forever? Would she ever be able to prove herself worthy of him to his jealous, controlling mother, anyway?

by Anonymousreply 191March 8, 2012 12:50 AM

Hey r174, how'd it go?

by Anonymousreply 192March 8, 2012 1:31 AM

Not as I hoped R192. Everything was going great, the suits were practically whipping out their checkbooks, and then when we got to discussing casting choices, the only thing they wanted to hear was "Emma Stone." I said, "Aniston or nothing," and the meeting pretty much fell apart right there.

I guess I shouldn't have pitched it the weekend after "Wanderlust" opened.

by Anonymousreply 193March 8, 2012 1:40 AM

Ha! That's hilarious if you are the real r174. I'd have just went with it. It would've been cool if a movie originated from this thread. New tagline: "Data Lounge, we created Wing Women last year"

by Anonymousreply 194March 8, 2012 1:58 AM

Someone should email this thread (or at least the good posts) to Gawker or Nikki Finke.

Hey, Musto, you still post here? Give this thread a shout-out!

by Anonymousreply 195March 8, 2012 1:59 AM

"Brother From Another Mother"

Riley Harper (Jennifer Aniston) is the hopelessly single career-driven press secretary to Sen. Joe Edmonds (Dennis Quaid), an aspiring presidential candidate with a publicly happy marriage to his wife Emily (Catherine O'Hara), but a roving eye in private.

After a late-night strategy session with Joe leads to an early-morning walk-of-shame for Riley, the two of them agree that it was a mistake and that it will never happen again and get back to the business of the campaign. But six weeks later, when Riley discovers her pregnancy on the eve of the first debate, this new baby puts a major bump in the political ambitions of the Mr. and Mrs. Edmonds.

Joe considers aborting the campaign when Riley won't abort her last chance at motherhood, but Emily along with Joe's Machiavellian campaign manager, Ace (Scott Wolf), encourages them to press on saying they've gone too far. Riley promises them that she won't tell anyone who got her pregnant just so long as she can keep her job, but Ace doesn't think that's a good idea with tabloids and oppo researchers just dying for the opportunity to expose a scandal like this.

Just then they get a call about Joe and Emily's slacker son, Trevor (Ashton Kutcher), getting busted with pot at the airport on the way back from a vacation in Jamaica. Riley snaps back into campaign mode and says they can take care of her baby business later and she'll prepare a statement on it... Joe mutters how he was hoping that Trevor would have found a wife and had a kid and settled down by now so he could finally grow up and stop causing political problems for him... But just then Riley realizes they have the solution to the campaign's problems right in front of them... they can say that Trevor IS THE FATHER!!!

Screwball hilarity ensues as the serious Riley and screwup Trevor are forced to portray a happy couple while they're keeping it a secret from the world that she's carrying his brother from another mother!

by Anonymousreply 196March 8, 2012 4:37 AM

What a waste of finger power this thread has been. As if this actress is worth a script.

by Anonymousreply 197March 8, 2012 4:41 AM

r197 = Reese Witherspoon

by Anonymousreply 198March 8, 2012 5:10 AM

"This Can't Be Happening" is terrific!

by Anonymousreply 199March 8, 2012 9:59 AM

bump

by Anonymousreply 200March 8, 2012 1:45 PM

"Debi Got Fat" (2012)- Debi Stankey was a cheerleader, dated the quarterback (Dermot Mulroney) and crowned homecoming queen. But since grad, things have not gone as promised. Eschewing college to marry studly motorcycle mechanic Doug (Val Kilmer), four kids later she is separated, obese and on food stamps. And resisting her best friend's (Minnie Driver) efforts to encourage her to attend their 25th H.S. reunion. Her mom (Jane Fonda) a Type-A clotheshorse, is no help ("Couldn't you fast instead of fastfood?!"). Then a bi personal trainer neighbor (Benicio del Toro) takes her under his wing... Directed by Penny Marshall. Special effects by Rob Bottin.

by Anonymousreply 201March 8, 2012 7:44 PM

Can somebody write a movie about Jennifer Aniston starring as a professional fister who fists men for a living yet yearns for real love? She then finds it with the help of her gay best friend.

by Anonymousreply 202March 8, 2012 7:55 PM

r195 I'd rather they didn't!

by Anonymousreply 203March 8, 2012 8:13 PM

THREE MEN AND A BABY DOLL

Ryan Gosling, Chris Pine, and Zac Efron are puzzled by their new roommate Celeste (Jennifer Aniston), who wears baby clothes, sleeps in a crib, and sucks her thumb.

by Anonymousreply 204March 8, 2012 8:29 PM

Can somebody write a movie about Jennifer Aniston starring as a Real Doll of a lonely 50- something played by Billy Bob Thorton come to life?

by Anonymousreply 205March 8, 2012 8:49 PM

"Downshift" (2013)

William Knighton (Donald Sutherland) is one of the most revered names in sports. His family owns and operates The Association for Car Auto Racing (ACAR), which sanctions and governs auto racing sports events throughout the world. Upon learning he has stage IV throat cancer, William announces his only son, Gunner (Eric Dane), as the successor to his billion-dollar empire. However, things take a tragic turn when William and Gunner are unexpectedly killed in a plane crash.

In order to ensure ACAR remains in the Knighton family, his widow, Abby (Judith Chapman), convinces the board of directors to name their oldest daughter Kathleen (Jennifer Aniston) as the new CEO! The only catch is, Kathleen is an irresponsible party girl who has never cared about anything more than the money and access being a Knighton has provided her. Abby is confident that she can use her daughter to finalize a deal that William was against--the sale of ACAR to a European racing conglomerate--however, things don't exactly go as planned.

With the help of William's most-trusted advisor, Cal (Matthew McConaughey), Kathleen shows the business savvy her father always knew she had!

Featuring:

Zac Efron as Rand Evans, the hottest ACAR driver of the moment

Paul Bettany as Roger Phillips, Kathleen's longtime fiance/harshest critic

and Christoph Waltz as European racing tycoon, Bernhardt Kohl

with a soundtrack featuring 12 new songs written and performed by Zac Brown!

by Anonymousreply 206March 8, 2012 8:50 PM

Jennifer Aniston in a Lifetime Original movie - "Cunt! The Patricia Heaton Story"

by Anonymousreply 207March 8, 2012 8:57 PM

r11 and r65.. are you still around?

I wondered if you would email me if I gave you an address? Just wanted to ask two really quick questions and don't want to hijack the thread any further! Let me know and I'll post my address.

Thanks

by Anonymousreply 208March 8, 2012 8:59 PM

R65, here.

What did you want to ask, R208?

by Anonymousreply 209March 8, 2012 11:18 PM

If you're up for it, I'd rather do it by email. Not intrusive. I'll set up an address for you to email me if that's OK and post it. Thanks

by Anonymousreply 210March 8, 2012 11:29 PM

Wingwoman = Hitch

by Anonymousreply 211March 8, 2012 11:35 PM

Sure, no problem.

by Anonymousreply 212March 8, 2012 11:37 PM

Thanks r212 It's writenow.hk@gmail.com I'll explain when I hear from you!

by Anonymousreply 213March 8, 2012 11:48 PM

what's hitch?

by Anonymousreply 214March 9, 2012 12:12 AM

R197, have you heard of the concept of satire? Guess not!

by Anonymousreply 215March 9, 2012 4:23 AM

Can somebody write an inspired documentary type movie about a porn star, portrayed by Jennifer Aniston preparing to get gang banged by one thousand guys? Kind of like Waiting for Guffman. The cameras would follow her on her journey as she trains her vagina to take one thousand cock. She would also train to get DP'd. She would train through going to the gym, diet, prayer, etc. The woman who ices her vagina inbetween takes could be played by Goldie Hawn.

Is Hitch the movie Wingwoman rips off?

by Anonymousreply 216March 9, 2012 4:41 AM

lol Wingwoman is Hitch II. I love the idea though of somebody stealing ideas and making them into Jennifer Aniston movie. That would be a great Jennifer Aniston movie in of itself.

Can somebody write a horror movie about about a struggling writer who becomes caretaker of the haunted Underlook Motel for the winter season. But, ultimately attacks his wife, played by Jennifer Aniston, and their son, Donny with an axe. Call it, The Blinding.

Maybe the Wingwoman writer can write it. He's a creative genius.

by Anonymousreply 217March 9, 2012 4:58 AM

A Riva Runs Through Him(2012) Jennifer Anniston stars as Riva Bragg Noble, the young wife of Texas politican Hale Noble(Dennis Quaid). Riva's past as a Penthouse Pet of The Month shocks the high society of Houston, but her husband stands in support of her. His grown children, MaryLinda(Hayley Duff) and Tripp(D.J. Cortona) plot with their mother, Allisandra(Kim Cattrall) to get Riva out of their father's life. Allisandra brings Riva's first husband, Dutch Bragg(Brad Rowe) to Houston to reveal their marriage was never annulled. Hale suffers a heart attack at the news of this revealation and it's a race to the death to see who will win, in the three battle of wills for the Noble fortune. Riva in flashbacks is played by S'hane Grimes.

by Anonymousreply 218March 9, 2012 11:52 PM

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 219April 4, 2012 12:37 PM

I had to go back and check to see if this wasn't one of our ideas!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 220April 9, 2012 11:30 PM

"20... Something" (2014)- Jennifer Aniston won an Oscar* for her portrayal of Michelle Duggar (who died after a brave battle with ovarian cancer in 2013). The film chronicles her life from first date with future husband Jim Bob (Kirk Cameron) after a religious conversion, to the birth of her first child Joshua, through her last pregnancy (via in vitro fertilization)- the quintuplets Japheth, Jasper, JLo, Jermajesty and Jayonce'. Also starring Dyan Cannon and Orson Bean as Michelle's parents. Directed by Toby Keith.

by Anonymousreply 221April 10, 2012 2:35 AM

I think the ideas in this thread are better, R220!

[quote]Jennifer Aniston is circling We’re The Millers, the New Line comedy about a pot dealer who pulls together a fake wife and two kids to pose as an RV road-tripping family so that he can smuggle 1000 pounds of pot cross country. Dodgeball‘s Rawson Thurber is directing. Aniston is in talks to play the fake wife, who’s actually a hooker. Her Horrible Bosses costar Jason Sudeikis is eying the role of the family patriarch (he’s the pot smuggler). The kids are juvenile delinquents.

by Anonymousreply 222April 10, 2012 2:49 PM

Where is the guy Wingwoman dude who stole the Hitch concept? Sued yet?

by Anonymousreply 223April 10, 2012 4:50 PM

Jen has no summer movie for 2012?

by Anonymousreply 224June 24, 2012 1:06 AM

r193, describing his pitch was the highlight of the thread for me. "I said, 'Aniston or nothing,' and the meeting pretty much fell apart right there."

I was laughing out loud then, and it just made me smile.

by Anonymousreply 225June 24, 2012 1:18 AM

Elementary, dear

Jennifer Anniston plays Marci Griffords, who is convinced by her mother (Glenn Close in a cameo role) to take a cross-country road trip from Boston to LA with her estranged sister Grace (Kristen Wiig). What mom didn't say is that when they arrive in LA, Grace is going into the nuthouse for treatment for her ever-increasing paranoia. Seems Grace thinks she is Sherlock Holmes, detective extraordinaire. And that makes Marci Dr. Watson for the duration of the trip.

You'll laugh, then cry, then laugh while crying as these two ladies cross the US, solving some cases and exploring the bonds of sisterhood.

With Jessica Lange as Grace's psychiatrist, Professor Moriarty, and Luke Evans as a hitchhiker (or is he something more???)

by Anonymousreply 226June 24, 2012 2:16 AM

I'm having writers block at the moment so just throwing out some potential title names to restart this thread in honor of Nora Ephron's passing...

Lady Business

Hot to Trot

I Can't Stop Loving Brad

by Anonymousreply 227June 27, 2012 7:31 AM

bump

by Anonymousreply 228July 11, 2012 9:55 AM

Totally Cut Off

Jennifer Aniston stars as MAGGIE SHREW, a late 20s trust funder who lives at home and has a penchant for giving her slutty bffs (Kristin Wiig and Zooey Deschanel) stylish haircuts. After a tragic stock market crash, Maggie's parents are forced to downsize their lives (advised by a hilarious financial consultant played by Zach Galifianakis) and totally cut off their daughter on her 30th birthday.

Determined to beat the economic crisis, Maggie starts her own salon and launches into a new career as a hair stylist with the help of her slutty bffs. Hilarity and love ensue as she begins to cut the hair of the local business men who originally think the salon is a cover for a brothel. One man in particular (MARK, played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) catches her eye and begins to come in for more haircuts than necessary, ending up totally shaved bald before gaining the courage to ask Maggie out for a date. Just as the romance heats up, it turns out that Mark is a business rival of Maggie's father, so Maggie covertly plans to sabotage Mark's financial life for her father's gain. Ultimately, her father is once again successful enough to begin supporting his daughter. But a triumphant Maggie refuses and decides to open up a chain of salons to be called Totally Cut Off. b1225

by Anonymousreply 229July 11, 2012 6:49 PM

Illegal Love (2013)

Janet Brewster is the far right governor of a southwestern state. As a busy career gal, she has no time for love, and is in the process of rounding up all the brown people in her state to send them back to Mexico. Unfortunately for her, she falls for Jose (Gerard Butler in tan makeup) a proud Mexican law student who teaches her a thing or two about life and love. Co-starring Lupe Ontiveros as Jose's mother.

by Anonymousreply 230July 11, 2012 7:30 PM

“Griefcase” (2012) - Lara Dearborne, successful Hamptons real estate agent (Jennifer Aniston), finds out that her womanizing, poor father (Nick Nolte) is marrying her rival at work, Cloris Alard (Lucy Punch.) She figures Cloris has an ulterior motive, so she hires Arthur “Ace” Devine, a snarky private investigator (Josh Brolin). Her attraction to him conflicts with her deteriorating relationship with Jason, an artistic, uninterested boyfriend (Gerard Butler, so she can laugh about their reuniting when he plays a different character.) While Lara and Ace are on the case, they encounter a pot-smoking ‘hippie’ cop (Bill Hader, with dreads), a slimy local politician (Ben Stiller), and the wealthy and suave Lord Sandwich (Jon Hamm, who was blackmailed, it's not his fault), a Hamptons client, who courts Lara and makes Ace jealous. It turns out Cloris is using the dad to conceal another marriage, and gets arrested for bigamy. It is revealed that Jason is Lara’s social “beard” – she pays him to pretend to be with her, so her friends are satisfied. The sad truth is, Lara’s difficult childhood has made her mistrustful of intimacy. But you can bet Ace fixes all that. And they end up married – with little ’uns!

by Anonymousreply 231August 6, 2012 1:34 AM

Someone was asking for this thread.

by Anonymousreply 232August 6, 2012 8:33 AM

I wonder if any of these movies were picked up. Her next movie "We're the Millers" sounds like something that would be concocted here.

by Anonymousreply 233January 29, 2013 9:36 PM

What's really cracking me up about this thread are the various inappropriate ages Jennifer is supposed to be in these movies.

by Anonymousreply 234January 29, 2013 9:40 PM

This was one of the best DL threads in ages.

by Anonymousreply 235January 29, 2013 9:51 PM

This also sounds like a plot from this thread:

[quote]A Charlie Kaufman-esque mind-bender, the premise finds mild-mannered Paul (Duplass) and his feisty sister Abby (Aniston) setting out to change the box storage world with Paul’s invention of the 5-sided box. Kingsley plays a maniacal box magnate who seeks to thwart Paul and Abby’s success. Meanwhile, the invention also risks ripping a giant hole in the fabric of the universe. When Paul realizes the damage he’s causing, he races against time to put the galaxy back in order and save the girl of his dreams.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 236February 6, 2013 2:08 PM

"Breakthrough"

Cathy Alexander (Jen) is a movie star specializing in old-hat grade B rom coms which make money but bore the shit out of her. At home in Minneapolis she complains to her parents (Candy Bergen and Richard Jenkins) that her life has no meaning, which they have little patience for. Her old friend Lizzie (Toni Collette) a Twin Cities casting director comes to the rescue. Much to the chagrin of her agent (Stanley Tucci) and current boy toy, Brock (Ryan Kwanten), a model and aspiring actor, Cathy jumps at the chance to star in a Guthrie production of The Duchess of Malfi directed by her ex-husband, Lothar Michaels (Gregg Kinear, sporting a bad Austrian accent). Will it end in tragedy or comedy? It's no one's guess.

by Anonymousreply 237February 6, 2013 2:23 PM

R231 Good, but you left out the cameo role for Ina Garten.

by Anonymousreply 238February 6, 2013 6:19 PM

I missed this thread too! Glad it's back!

by Anonymousreply 239February 6, 2013 6:21 PM

Politically On Purpose (2013)

Becca Snow (Aniston) is an aspiring journalist and left wing blogger who goes undercover as a maid in the Long Island compound of the Kenneby Family, a powerful New York political dynasty with suspected ties to a Mexican drug cartel, run by patriarch and five term senator Karl (Christopher Walken) and his alcoholic pill popping wife Kathy (Diane Keaton). Their youngest son Klement (Armie Hammer) is set to inherit the empire and Becca soon learns that all the rumors are true, but just as she is about to publish her scathing exposé on the family's sordid financial affairs, she falls for other son Griffith (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) the black sheep of the family who dreams of becoming a folk musician. Hilarity ensues when Karl's blackmailing mistress, who also turns out to be Becca's sociopathic college roommate Lexi (Amy Poehler), enters the picture and threatens to destroy everything! Will Becca choose between her career or HER HEART?! Also starring Nathan Lane in token supporting gay role and Mo'Nique in token supporting black role.

by Anonymousreply 240February 7, 2013 12:54 AM

I Can't Stop Loving Bread!

Melissa St. Dennis is a successful trial lawyer working her way up to full partner status at her tony law firm in Chicago. She just may make it by her 29th birthday! However, when a smart new lawyer Denise Raydon (Olivia Wilde) is hired, the promotion is in danger. You see, Melissa is "big-boned"..."pleasingly plump"...hell, she's a fattie!

Watch Jennifer Anniston in her most moving role yet as Melissa, the whip smart 250 lb lawyer.

Melissa decides to lose the weight and become even more attractive than Denise. She hires personal trainer Taylor Kitsch (Brad Donning) to live with her and train her 24/7 in the hopes of losing the weight. Who could have predicted romance would blossom as the pounds melt away?

Who will will the battle for her heart? Brad or bread??

With Linda Lavin as Melissa's mom, Candice Bergen as the senior partner, and Rebel Wilson as the sassy best friend.

Come see Jennifer spend almost the whole movie in a fat suit!!

by Anonymousreply 241February 7, 2013 1:08 AM

R241 - 39th birthday, not 29th.

by Anonymousreply 242February 7, 2013 1:23 AM

Yes, Jermajesty! (2014)

Fresh out of grad school and unable to find a job in her field of paleontology, sexy and single Jessica Stinson (Jennifer Anniston) lands a job as a nanny for Jermajesty Miller (Jayden Smith), spoiled son of entertainment mogul Milton Miller (Will Smith). Working around the clock, Jessica knows she doesn't have time for love but finds herself falling for recently divorced Milton. However, when Jessica's troubled yet eccentric mother Patty (Chelsea Handler) and her chain-smoking yet sassy aunt Sarah-Beth (Reese Witherspoon) fall on hard times and are forced to move across country to join Jessica in Hollywood, Jessica is faced with making the choice between love and family while balancing her job duties as Jermajesty's personal assistant and her fledging career as a backup singer. Just when everything seems to be going Jessica's way, Milton's sexy fashion designer ex-wife Michellé (Miley Cyrus) shows up, threatening to take away everything Jessica has worked for.

by Anonymousreply 243February 7, 2013 1:46 AM

"when Jessica's troubled yet eccentric mother Patty (Chelsea Handler) "

LOL Chelsea is younger than Jen.

by Anonymousreply 244February 7, 2013 1:48 AM

R82 could work. I see Jennifer and DL fave, AnnE, fighting for the lead role.

by Anonymousreply 245February 7, 2013 8:27 PM

This thread is hilarious.

by Anonymousreply 246February 7, 2013 11:26 PM

[quote]"I Know, Right?" (2012)-

I thought this was the title of the Carline Kennedy Schlossberg biopic.

by Anonymousreply 247February 7, 2013 11:29 PM

Someone should start a thread on Anne Hathaway Oscar-bait movie synopses.

by Anonymousreply 248February 7, 2013 11:37 PM

r248, piss off and go start a thread then. It will bomb. This thread is a classic.

Love Love LOVE "Yes, Jermajesty."

by Anonymousreply 249February 8, 2013 12:08 AM

The Funeral Planner - (Fall 2013) -

Clarissa Wollop is the funeral planner. She's ambitious, hard working and she knows exactly what to do and say to make any funeral a spectacular event. But when Clarissa falls madly in love for a handsome priest Clark Regency(Josh Duhamel), who suddenly dies of a heart attack while they were having sex in church! Her busy life becomes even more complicated. He is the dead in the biggest funeral of her career. Will she help him go to his final resting place in a farewell ceremony for the ages, or will Clarissa join him along. When it comes to love you never know what's going to happen.

by Anonymousreply 250February 8, 2013 12:25 AM

Picture Perfect (Valentine's Day 2014)

Jennifer Aniston is dedicated career gal Kate who despite her talent just can't seem to move up the corporate ladder. Being a single girl, she is seen as being too unstable to promote so she lies and tells her boss that she has a fiance. She bribes her wedding photographer neighbor Nick (James Franco) to pose as her fiance when she gets invited to her boss's house for dinner.

After Kate gets her promotion, she has no use to continue the ruse anymore so she fakes a big fight with Nick in front of her boss and breaks off her "engagement". But Nick refuses to break up and tells Kate he has fallen in love with her for real. Now Kate must choose between her career or Nick. Maybe a career girl can have it all afterall!

by Anonymousreply 251February 8, 2013 12:39 PM

Stepsisters (2013)

Kailyn (Jennifer Anniston), Ruby (Beyoncé Knowles) and Noah (Oscar-Nominated Anne Hathaway) are "Stepsisters" in this heartwarming Christmas classic from New Line Cinema. Raised in the harsh streets of New York City, the sisters grew up singing in the city's most notorious bars and clubs in order to supplement the meager income of their parents (Victor Garber and Oscar-Award Winner Mo'Nique). However, a chance run-in with famed talent scout Max Gordon (Christian Bale) gives the sisters a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to pursue their musical dreams by heading a musical revue show in Las Vegas. However, once in Vegas, the girls realize that everything is not what it seems. When news reaches the girls that their beloved cousin Dusty (Daytime Emmy Award for Outstanding Younger Actor in a Drama Series Chandler Massey) is stricken with a severe form of an illness, the sisters are willing to pull out all the stops to raise the money to pay for his expensive surgery.

by Anonymousreply 252February 8, 2013 1:23 PM

[R251}

LOL. i see what you did there. Not a fan of Jay Mohr?

by Anonymousreply 253February 8, 2013 6:13 PM

R252 Excuse me, is there some reason I don't get the "Oscar-Award (sic) winner" modifier? Don't cross me!

by Anonymousreply 254February 8, 2013 6:30 PM

Twin Cities (2013)

Isabella (Jennifer Aniston) and Ella (Emma Stone) star as fraternal twins in this twisted black comedy about what brings families together - and what pulls them apart! Ella is a renowned surgeon based in Minneapolis and Isabella is stuck in St. Louis - unemployed and still trying to get her act together! On the eve of their 28th birthday, the two twins agree to meet in the restaurant that is directly between the two cities to try to come to terms with what they *really* want in life, not knowing that tomorrow will be life changing in a way they never expected. Co-starring Ina Garten, Leah Remini and Garth Brooks.

by Anonymousreply 255February 9, 2013 2:01 AM

GREAT thread!

by Anonymousreply 256February 9, 2013 11:46 AM

My Way of Life (2014)

Jennifer Aniston is Joan Crawford in this neo-noir thriller based on Crawford's bestselling autobiography. Controversial, revered, loathed and disparaged, Crawford attempts to make sense of her life by unsuccessfully channeling her energy into throwing parties in Hollywood Hills and competing for scripts with women half her age. An unlikely turn of events, however, shows Crawford that everything that glitters may not be gold. Co-starring Academy Award Winner Angelina Jolie as Bette Davis, Academy Award Winner Charlize Theron as Christina Crawford, Brad Pitt as Clark Gable, Mandy Moore as Myrna Loy and introducing Ina Garten as June Allyson.

by Anonymousreply 257February 9, 2013 2:57 PM

"My Sharona" (2014)

Isaac Schulman (Mark Ruffalo) never thought he'd return to Rochester, NY, but when his father (James Cromwell) suffers a stroke, he rushes to be by his hero's side. Although his emotional journey is initially devastating, things start to brighten up when Isaac crosses paths with his high school crush: Sharona Lieberman (Jennifer Aniston). Now a hospice nurse, Sharona teaches Isaac how to love in the face of adversity.

by Anonymousreply 258February 9, 2013 3:24 PM

Public Defender (2014)

After giving herpes to the Managing Partner of her law firm (who then passed it on to his millionaire heiress wife), Junior Partner Alicia Allison Anapoulos is set up to lose a big case. Innocent Alicia is then thrown out of the law firm and is blackballed in the legal profession as an incompetent.

Alicia's Greek Orthodox family priest counsels her to become a public defender in Chicago to defend unjustly accused ghetto youths.

by Anonymousreply 259February 9, 2013 4:43 PM

"Forget About Him" (2014)

Madison Wright (Aniston) is a single woman with a high powered career living in New York City. When her best friend, Ashley (Judy Greer) is dumped by her boyfriend Madison takes her to an exclusive spa in Maine to just forget about him.

However when they both fall for the same man, local fisherman (Josh Duhamel) antics ensue.

Also starring

Michael Urie as Madison's sassy gay assistant

Debbie Reynolds as Rich Older Lady at Spa

Melissa McCarthy as Wise-cracking Fat Woman At Spa (who pops up at the most inconvenient times with witty one liners.)

Gabourney Sidibe as Sassy Masseuse

by Anonymousreply 260February 9, 2013 4:54 PM

Little Big City

Bonnie (Aniston) lives in a small town in Missouri and is recently split from her cheating husband of over 20 years. Down in the dumps she by chance meets a charming man Paul (Robert Downy Jr) in the bakery she works at who is a top New York banker. On a whim she decides to pack up her clothes and heads to New York city and leave her life of a small town girl behind in search of love and herself. Also staring Amy Poehler as Bonnie's kooky friend Val and Monique as a character that's extra sassy. And probably some really flamboyant character thrown in there played by a straight actor.

by Anonymousreply 261February 9, 2013 5:18 PM

Check, please! (2014)

Andrea Mitchell (Aniston) had it all - a beautiful boyfriend (Josh Duhamel), a bustling flower shop, and best friend Clarice (Mila Kunis), the co-manager of the shop. Everything seems to fall apart after Andrea catches her boyfriend cheating on her with Clarice. To make matters worse, the flower shop closes with a mound of unpaid bills that Clarice hid from Andrea.

Out of work, out of money, and out of love, Andrea creates a online dating profile as a way to get free dinners. Inadvertently, she enters a contest on the website and wins a year of "Date Dinners" at a local restaurant.

Hilarity unfolds at a series of bad dates at the restaurant, all of which are witnessed by hunky manager Todd (Jason Bateman). Will Andrea get back on her feet? Will she meet someone decent on this year of dates? Will she and Todd recognize just how right they are for each other?

Andrea's dates include memorable performances by Billy Bob Thorton, Dane Cook, Louis Anderson, Burt Reynolds, Jamie Foxx, and Stephen Hawkings.

by Anonymousreply 262February 9, 2013 5:55 PM

R262, that is a great one...kill Jennifer and let ME do the part...

by Anonymousreply 263February 9, 2013 6:18 PM

"Just Once" (2014)

BRIE WESTMAN (Jennifer Aniston) has it all; wonderful friends, a killer fashion sense, a great apartment, and a thriving career as an event co-ordinator. Her only regret, now that she's turned 30, is that she has no time for a boyfriend, whereas her partner/BFF/former sorority sister, IZZY LUDLOW (Katherine Heigl) enjoys the company of her doting companion, MILO ENDICOTT (Jared Harris).

Still, Brie and Izzy enjoy their work. Their only problem is the oafish clients who constantly hit on Brie, forcing her to "admit" that she and Izzy are lesbian partners. It seems that back in their sorority days, the two would make out for the entertainment of their boyfriends, and —JUST ONCE!— they went all the way, to see what it was like. ("Bucket list, done!" they laughingly recount to a bemused Milo at dinner one night, bumping fists at the memory.)

So now, if a man comes on too strong (like New York Knicks owner RAND McNULTY [Vince Vaughn in a cameo role]), Brie simply pulls a giggling Izzy onto her lap, giving the sap teasing eyes until he gets the hint…and sometimes an eyeful!

But things change when caustic press magnate HUNTER MacLEAN (Zach Galifianakis) hires the firm to do the launch of his new magazine, "Pulse". Although Brie is tempted to spurn his invitation to a "get to know you" dinner (Izzy is even hovering in anticipation), she agrees, seeing something in him. As Brie spends more time with him, she begins to wonder if Hunter is The One…

Or is The One for Brie actually the icily commanding Editor-in-Chief of "Pulse"… out and proud lesbian MELBA RIVINGTON (Halle Berry) ? At first put off, Brie eventually draws closer to Melba, watching "The Ice Queen's" perfectionist facade melt as she deals with her terminally-ill mother, REGINA (Irma P. Hall), and Brie wonders if she could ever really have a relationship with a woman. Was it really "Just Once" for her and Izzy…or has she been a lesbian in denial all along?

And now that Izzy and Milo are starting to have problems, does that mean that jealousy is rearing its ugly head? Hunter, Melba, or Izzy? Can Brie make the right choice…JUST ONCE???

Title track of the soundtrack is a new recording of James Ingram singing his 1981 hit .

Written and directed by Lisa "I'm sorry, okay??" Cholodenko.

by Anonymousreply 264February 9, 2013 6:37 PM

Bella and Belinda (2014)

Set in the world of Beverly Hills, Jennifer Anniston stars as Monica Davis, a plastic surgeon to the stars. Her mother Bella (Barbra Streisand), a studio executive, is her most celebrated client. She is also a constant source of nagging for Monica, because she wants Monica to get married and have a baby. When Belinda Roberts (Meryl Streep, playing a rival studio head) comes in to see Monica for a facelift, she brings her son, Roger (Henry Cavill), and her gay BFF, Oscar-winner Basil Roberts (Tom Hiddleston). Monica complains to Belinda about her mother, and Belinda offers to set up Monica with an actor. But Monica reveals to Belinda that she is a lesbian. Belinda smiles and reveals to Monica that she had a long affair with her mother Bella, years ago when they were young actresses starting out in Hollywood. Armed with this knowledge, Monica bravely comes out to her mother. But Bella flips out and accuses Belinda of being a giant liar, and says it never happened and that Belinda has always been jealous of her success. She outs Belinda and Basil to the tabloids, and Basil comes out on television with his real lover, Roger. Equally enraged,, Belinda green lights a movie based on her true life love story with Bella. Sarah Harper (Anna Kendrick) plays young Bella, and Vivian Wright (Jessica Chastain) plays young Belinda. Monica begins dating the actress Vivian, which only enrages Bella more, since it's the young version of Belinda. The lesbian film within a film comes out and is a giant success. Ever competitive, Bella green-lights a gay rom-com film with Roger and Basil. That too is a giant success. During awards season, Bella finally decides to come out to get more attention. Not to be outdone, Belinda announces that her lover is Jodie Foster (cameo). Meanwhile, Monica and Vivian have an announcement of their own: Monica is pregnant and they will marry. With the flush of success all around, Bella and Belinda decide to bury the hatchet. The lesbian wedding is beautiful, and Beyonce sings for the brides. The film ends with Bella and Belinda doing press on the red carpet for a new co-production, arm in arm, funny and serene.

by Anonymousreply 265February 9, 2013 7:07 PM

Baker's Half Dozen - Summer 2014

Brandyne Monroe (Aniston) is unhappily married, saving away money to win a cake baking contest so, with the prize money, she'll have enough cash saved to leave her husband Duke (Patrick Dempsey) and get out of her small town. She soon becomes pregnant, which thorws her plans awry. She bakes the best cakes at the interstate diner, grudgingly tolerates her boss Cletus(John C. Riley), is friends with Claudyne(Busy Phillips) and Earlene(Kristen Wiig) her fellow waitresses, and falls in love with the new sheriff in town (Josh Hartnett)

As her pregnancy advances, Brandyne's life with Duke start to take a drastic toll on her, she doesn't see any way out. So Brandyne does what she does best, she bakes Duke one of her best pies. What options does a baker have right? Duke soon becomes violently ill and dies days later. Brandyne buries Duke in the backyard with the help of her friends Claudyne and Earlene.

Soon the new sheriff is on the case. Watch as Brandyne tries to juggle life as a newly widowed mother and a love affair with the sheriff investigating her.

by Anonymousreply 266February 9, 2013 8:13 PM

The Choice of a Life (2014)

Jennifer Aniston stars as Lainey Baxter, a successful hard driving feminist and successful abortionist in Chicago. She has opened a chain of successful for profit abortion clinics across the state but it has cost her. She is single and is suddenly feeling the need to settle down and raise a family.

Her best friend and assistant abortionist, Kazz Jeffeys, played by a sassy Wanda Sykes, tells her about an abortion clinic in rural Indiana that needs a doctor quickly. The last doctor was murdered by anti abortion activists. SO Lainey decides to risk all and goes to Indiana to help out the abortion clinic, once again, putting her love life on hold.

However, as she crosses the picket line, a man with a sign and piercing blue eyes grabs her attention. Milo Anderson,played by Bradley Cooper, is the leader of the local Pro life group and has also devoted his life to a cause, but after seeing the new abortion doctor in town, will he be able to remain anti choice, but pro doctor?

The most unlikely couple cross ideologies and boundaries to find love and the true meaning of what life is all about.

by Anonymousreply 267February 9, 2013 8:44 PM

Barkley 2014

Jennifer is Macbeth "Macky" Van Glon, the daughter of hippies. Wild and free spirited, she has found a normal life now in Manhattan as a successful landscape architect in a large firm. She is dating a pro football lineman, Sam MacMillan,(Joe Manganiello). Life is perfect. While on a site in the Hamptons for a new home for gay wealthy Broadway star Linus Crenshaw(Bradley Cooper),she stumbles on remains of a large foundation of a building deep in the woods.

She is told by Linus not to go on that part of the estate and this makes her more curious over what the site could be. Later a party for the groundbreaking of the house is interrupted by a huge thunderstorm. Macky takes this time to see the mystery place again and takes Sam. while not noticing Linus is following them with his dog Barkley.

Lightning blinds them and they fall into the foundation. They emerge, with Linus in Sam's body, Sam in Linus' body and the dog talking as the maid of the house that existed there in the 1920's. Dog's voice Elaine Stritch.

Barkley tells them that they need to find out who burned the house down before everyone is back to normal. But they only have till a new moon rises.

Macky is kept busy as she tries to explain her future football player husband's new odd behavior on and off the field, and singing jags, along with trying to help her Broadway star client when he knows how to tackle but can't dance.

While at the library trying to find out info on how the house burned down, she sees a picture of her hippy parents living at the house before she is born. She must get the truth from them, and Barkley must hear it. do they know who caused the fire?

Will she know in time to get everything back to normal, and not hear wisecracks from the dog on her dresses?

by Anonymousreply 268February 9, 2013 9:40 PM

Jennifer Aniston in "SwagLife" (2004)

When Roo Loin (Jennifer Aniston) the head of SwagLife a center for disenfranchised youth is faced with takeover by Talon Enterprises she hits on a cunning plan - enter her street dancer troupe into a tv talent contest, in hope of saving the enterprise. When Roo entrusts the troupe to her star dancer Nuke (Chris Brown), she doesn’t bank on Nuke’s brother Trunk (Shemar Moore from “Criminal Minds” and “The Young and the Restless”) taking a romantic interest in her and providing a troublingly sedate distraction from the crisis at hand. Meanwhile Millicent Talon from the corporation (Katherine Heigl) who just so happened to be Roo’s frenemie in high school pays her hipster drop-out brother Forge to take a crash course in street dancing and ebonics so he can act as a mole within SwagLife and sabotage the act on performance night. What Millicent doesn’t know is that her billionaire grandfather Norton (Donald Sutherland) tried to molest Roo at Milly’s 18th birthday party and is prepared to save SwagLife & betray his own granddaughter if Roo becomes his fifth wife. Amid tensions in the troupe and as all eyes focus on the destiny of SwagLife, will it be Roo herself who becomes the architect of their own demise?

Find out this summer.

by Anonymousreply 269February 9, 2013 10:34 PM

David's Burkas (2014)

Tehran. November 4, 1979. Protestors storm the American Embassy. Ten Americans escape out the back door. Six take refuge in the Canadian ambassador's house. The other, less fortunate four escape to the Polish ambassador's house.

In Washington, CIA Special Ops chief Lionel Babbit (James Gandolfini) assigns the task of rescuing the "Polish four" (Bradley Cooper, Henry Cavill, Matt Bomer, Matthew Morrison) to ex-Mossad agent Zora David (Jennifer Aniston), a spy known for her cunning, beauty, and misfortune in relationships. Zora concocts a crazy scheme to get the men out of Tehran: create a fake science fiction movie, fly into Iran, pass the hostages off as a film crew doing location scouting and fly them out with fake passports. When informed that this scheme is already in use for the Canadian hostages, Zora comes up with an even crazier scheme: dress the men in burkas and pass them off as an all-girl Dixieland band from Belgium on a goodwill tour of the Middle East.

Zora recruits veteran clarinetist "Sweetwater" Lipschitz (Woody Allen) to teach her the ropes about Dixieland and then flies to Tehran to rescue the men. She finds the men, who have been subsisting on kielbasa and beer but nevertheless have maintained their six-pack stomachs, living in the Polish ambassador's attic and going stir-crazy. Zora now has two weeks to teach them the "Muskrat Ramble" and turn the men into a world-class burka-wearing Dixieland ensemble. It's a race against time... and her own desires, as Zora finds herself the object of each of the sex-starved mens' affections. Can Zora put love on the line long enough to get the men to work together and pull off a concert in the Casbah?

With James Cromwell as Ayatollah Khomeini.

by Anonymousreply 270February 9, 2013 11:33 PM

Jeanie in a Bottle (2014)

Jeanie McNamara (Jennifer Anniston) seems to have it all; a successful career as a hotshot interior decorator, a fabulous apartment, and a trio of best gals (Zooey Deschanel, Drew Barrymore and Christina Hendricks). But this talented 30 year is unlucky in love.

One day, while scouting for antiques at the flea market, she picks up an old brass lamp. That night, while polishing it, she releases the genji; Alexander Skarsgard. He'll grant her three wishes. What will Jeanie do? Conjur up world peace, riches, or the man of her dreams? You know what they say; be careful what you wish for!

Co-starring Catherine Zeta-Jones as Jeanie's mother, and Zachary Quinto as the gay next door neighbir

by Anonymousreply 271February 10, 2013 12:49 AM

what point does Jenny become desperate and play a mute hooker in an Oscar bait film with lots of nudity?

In this gritty film we see Jennifer Anniston tackle the role of her life: Michelle Cominksy, a troubled young woman living on the edge. Michelle grew up on the streets after running away from home at 18. An abusive father, and an alcoholic mother provided no support for this partially deaf girl. Constantly teased and abused, she left for good.

Now she is living on the streets, turning tricks to make ends meet.

Her life takes a turn when a new woman's shelter opens up, and the manager Chris Pine tries to get her to open up. He knows about a new procedure that may restore her hearing. But will Michelle get clean long enough to qualify for the experimental procedure?

In a role destined to nab her an Oscar nomination, watch this realistic, brutal portrayal of a woman barely making it.

Gratuitous nudity, minimal makeup, and Anniston shaves her head for the delousing scene!

by Anonymousreply 272February 10, 2013 1:35 AM

She's Funny That Way (2014)

The film centers on a married Broadway director (Owen Wilson) who falls for a prostitute-turned-actress and works to help her advance her career. Aniston will play a therapist whose mother is in rehab for alcoholism. The film co-stars Cybill Shepherd, Jason Schwartzman, and Eugene Levy.

by Anonymousreply 273February 10, 2013 3:06 PM

"Baby On Board!"- (2013) Jennifer Aniston stars as travelling cosmetics saleswoman D'Nice DuPont, who attends a convention and drives away in the wrong canary yellow Cadillac- finding herself stuck with an unexpected stowaway! But where's Mama (Lady GaGa)?? Joining her on the search is sweet-but-stupid Cheap*Mart rent-a-cop Josh Brolin. CEO Iona Manson: Debbie Reynolds.

by Anonymousreply 274February 10, 2013 8:47 PM

When Life Imitates Art (2015)

Caressa Athanasou (Jennifer Aniston) used to have it all: A hit TV show, her face on the cover of the hottest magazines, and an A-list actor husband (played by Bradley Cooper). Convinced that her post-TV career is destined to skyrocket, Caressa makes a decision that affects her marriage...and her life...for years to come.

Co-Starring:

Jennifer Connelly as Bethanney Dyk, a fellow actress and Caressa's best friend

James Cromwell as Dr. Sofer, the man who performs Caressa's abortion

and Introducing Kate Upton as Chantal Riva, who captures Caressa's husband's wandering eyes...and heart

by Anonymousreply 275February 10, 2013 10:04 PM

(Mine was a real movie)

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 276February 10, 2013 10:44 PM

We're the Millers looks terrible

by Anonymousreply 277June 7, 2013 1:42 AM

Through the Mirror (2014)

In a dramatic turn not seen since "The Good Girl" we see Jennifer Anniston in the roles of her lifetime, the story of identical triplets Sherry, Shirley, and Shareen Goodfellow.

Watch the drama as career-focused Sherry is convinced to double for the weekend as housewife Shirley, while Shirley travels to Chicago for a tryst with her lover. Be astounded when Shirley is viciously murdered and then identified as Sherry! Fall off your seat when bad-girl gone good Shareen shows up to help Sherry masquerading as Shirley track down the killer!

With Jasmine Guy as Rose, the tough as nails homicide detective and Josh Brolin as Shirley's husband Dan.

Co-starring Lynne Redgrave as lesbian psychic Willow St. James.

by Anonymousreply 278June 8, 2013 2:16 AM

"With Jasmine Guy as Rose, the tough as nails homicide detective"

Was Mariska too busy? :-)

by Anonymousreply 279June 8, 2013 2:28 AM

"Fresh out of grad school and unable to find a job in her field of paleontology, sexy and single Jessica Stinson (Jennifer Anniston) lands a job as a nanny for Jermajesty Miller (Jayden Smith), spoiled son of entertainment mogul Milton Miller (Will Smith)."

This actually sounds better than the movie Will and his son are currently starring in...

by Anonymousreply 280June 8, 2013 2:40 AM

Fuggedaboutit (2014)

Following the death of Michael "Golden Boy" Anastasia (James Woods), head of the Genovese crime family, the reins are reluctantly passed to his dutiful underboss (and daughter), Gloria "Gucci" Anastasia Stompanato (Jennifer Aniston). The move isn't popular at first, but Gloria quickly lets it be known who's boss by setting up a money laundering scheme that will net the Genoveses $500M--and usher her into the position of Capo di tutti capi (Boss of all Bosses)! However, when Carmine Capuzzo (Jay Baruchel), a disgruntled associate, is picked up by the FBI in connection with a murder...he quickly lobbies for a plea bargain that will get him out of prison in a couple of years. The only catch is, Carmine has proven to be fairly untrustworthy in the past, so the FBI assigns one of its best men, Dario Vapiano (James Franco), to bring down the Genoveses once and for all!

Hilarity ensues when Dario (under an alias) finds himself falling in love with Gloria; which garners him the unwanted attention of her husband, Paulie Stompanato (Bradley Cooper), a mob lawyer who isn't afraid to get his hands dirty.

Co-starring:

Brenda Blethyn as Connie Anastasia (Gloria's mother)

Paul Sorvino as Dominic Girardhelli (Head of the Banano crime family, and Gloria's fiercest rival for Boss of all Bosses).

Rose Byrne as Vicki Stompanato (Paulie's sister and Gloria's best friend)

by Anonymousreply 281June 8, 2013 1:20 PM

Three for the Road (2014)

In the most anticipated comedy of the year, come along for the trip as three thirtysomething BFFs travel cross country on a road trip to the 10 year college reunion. Marci (Jennifer Anniston) is a single, career driven LA based entertainment layer, with everything a girl needs but a good man. Anne (Gwenyth Paltrow) is a writer slumming as a production assistant while she crafts the Great American Novel. Victoria (Amanda Bynes) is a manager at a chic Rodeo Drive boutique.

As the travel cross country back to Wellesley, marvel as they confront pain, loss and love.

With James Franco as Cedar, the gay hustler, Channing Tatum as the tow trunk driver, and Kevin Kline as Victoria's parole officer.

by Anonymousreply 282June 8, 2013 5:58 PM

[all posts by ham-fisted troll a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 283June 8, 2013 6:13 PM

Will She Ever (2014)

In the most compelling role of her career, Jennifer Anniston plays Annie Jennsen, a 30something sit-com star perpetually striking out romance-wise. After her third engagment to Hollywood heart-throb Dan Danworth (Henry Cavill)falls apart, Annie decides to balls out thumb her nose at the world.

She contracts lipstick lesbian Daphne Lewis (Drew Barrymore) to be her "merkin" and the two engage in a very public and very false lesbian romance.

Golfing, co-habitating, attending spoken word performances together, these two spend time together to get America off Annie's back.

What no one expected was true love to blossom. Or does it???

With Joe Namath as the LGBT lawyer, Valerie Perrine as the gay bookstore owner and Bradley Cooper as himself.

by Anonymousreply 284July 4, 2013 2:05 AM

Bump for our grandchildren!

by Anonymousreply 285October 28, 2013 2:51 AM

deserves to be a legendary thread.

by Anonymousreply 286October 28, 2013 2:55 AM

BEST.THREAD.EVER.

by Anonymousreply 287October 28, 2013 3:02 AM

.

by Anonymousreply 288March 9, 2014 8:57 AM

THE MARY RICHARDS STORY(2014)

Film remake of the delightful CBS series (1970-1977) starring Jennifer Anniston as Mary Richards, a young tv producer who abruptly ends her engagment and flees to snow bound Minneapolis to start anew. Mary finds work at the low rated WJM tv station where her gruff but lovable boss Lou Grant (Robert Downey Jr.) takes her under his wing. There's also the staff writer, Murray Slaughter (Willie Aames), the ego driven anchor Ted Baxter (Julian Sands) and the friendly weatherman, Gordy (Cuba Gooding Jr.). Special Guest Appearence by Betty White as the station's provocative Happy Homemaker Sue Ann Nivens.

Coming Autumn 2014.

by Anonymousreply 289March 9, 2014 10:46 AM

Hamlet - the Rom Com!

Jennifer Aniston as OPHELIA knocks the normally staid British theater community on its collective keyster and turns Shakespeare's great tragedy into farce. Aniston's Ophelia develops a backbone, tosses her perfect coif, and quips one-liners at Hamlet (Benedict Cumberbatch), turning that melancholy Dane into a smitten fool. Rosencrantz (Ben Whishaw) and Guildernstern (Daniel Radcliff) go missing in Ophelia's herb garden and, instead of drowning, spunky Ophelia wins the Olympic gold medal in the 400 meter freestyle! Hilarity ensues as the remaining cast: Simon Russel Beale as Claudius, Dame Helen Mirren as Gertrude, Sir Patrick Stewart as Polonius, and Tom Hiddleston as Laertes, react to Ophelia's shenanigans.

by Anonymousreply 290March 9, 2014 5:31 PM

I actually want to see 281!

by Anonymousreply 291March 9, 2014 5:40 PM

It Happened One Night (2015)

Spoilt Chelsea Andrews (Aniston)defies her controlling Hedge Fund owning father (Dustin Hoffman)by getting engaged to hip-hop's hottest playa, DeShawn 'King' Westley (Idris Elba). Chelsea flees dad's yacht after a showdown. Planning to reach King in NY and marry him before dad's hired PIs (bickering love-hate duo Eddie Murphy and his sassy back-talking assistant, Gabourey Sidibe)find her,Chelsea boards a Greyhound incognito, and is sat on by hard living, reporter Pete Warne,(Jon Hamm)just fired for mouthing off, drunk, at his world-weary Editor (John Goodman).

Warne has Chelsea pegged when her disappearance starts trending on Twitter. He offers her protection in exchange for an exclusive, with a photoshoot at King's Hamptons crib.

Dependent on each other till they reach NY, the two squabble their way to a creeping realisation that they have each met The One. (Amusingly, this plot is mirrored in the relationship between Murphy and Sidibe as they pursue the fugitive pair).

by Anonymousreply 292March 9, 2014 7:07 PM

So glad someone bumped this.

Wrote a few of these and was thinking about this thread the other day but thought it was lost to the ether.

by Anonymousreply 293March 10, 2014 5:36 AM

"The Rope"

Starring Jennifer Aniston and Chris Colfer

A Midwestern single mom, (Aniston) living in "The Sky's the Limit" mobile community has not had the best of luck lately. Her once very successful kiosk that sells imitation Prada bags at a major mall has closed to make room for a cell phone and iPad repair kiosk. Her son, the high school super star quarterback and hometown hero, (Colfer) swoons all the girls (and ladies) in town with his mediocre country music talent, did not get the scholarship to play college ball as he intended.

Struggling to pay the bills with an ever dwindling savings bank account, the mom runs across an ad on "Greg's List" looking for good looking males to star in gay adult films; $2,500 - 5K a scene! She gets an idea that might be the answer to her prayers.

Miserable at the local community college, the mom's ultra masculine and heterosexual son is now contemplating to drop out of school altogether and head off to Nashville to try to make the "big time" in country music. But, the mom has other ideas for Marlboro Man-like son.

After many failed attempts, the mom finally convinces her super-straight son (who convinces her he really likes girls even with staged blowjobs where mom walks in) that if he ventured into gay porn this might lead to bigger things, especially the "big time" in country music. He begrudgingly agrees but only on one condition: one scene.

After this one scene, they discover her son had a very special talent that astonishes them all leaving them speechless and soon after her son became a hit. Now known as "The Rope", he swoons guys (and men) with his abnormally huge orgasms that drive gay men wild and even serenades them with the a song he wrote, "Rope me, Cowboy" that became a Top Ten hit on national radio.

It's big lights and big city for this small mid-western family as the cash is flowing in hand over fist. The bills are paid and life is easier but will this new fame and fortune last? And will "The Rope" become "The String"...and then "The Yarn"?

Wait and see!

by Anonymousreply 294March 10, 2014 1:45 PM

"Auto Zone"

Starring: Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Aniston stars as "Sam" a lesbian car mechanic who has one true love in life: her auto-shop.

Life is on the fast track as she has a strong lead in the car repair sector of her hometown, that is until a large Wal-Mart-like car repair opens up right next door sending Sam's mullet into a tail-spin. The town floods to this auto-repair shop by the dozens and rave about it's quick service, prices and customer care leaving poor "Sam's" in the junk yard.

But, Sam has a few tricks up her sleeve to foil this giant car repair conglomerate hoping bring customers back to her small shop. Will she win this car repair race or will she stall out?

Find out!

by Anonymousreply 295March 10, 2014 8:33 PM

[all posts by tedious, racist idiot removed.]

by Anonymousreply 296March 10, 2014 8:38 PM

Jen has tried repeatedly and failed to become a movie star, so it's time she branched out to do some hardcore porn. I think she would be great in a triple penetration scene.

by Anonymousreply 297March 10, 2014 8:45 PM

R297,

"500"

Starring: Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Anniston stars as an aging porn star who once ruled the porn world in film, the Internet, magazines, and books. She produced her own material and owned her own studio making her millions. She then went on to marry a professional athlete, had two children, and then later divorced...and so has her career: from her.

Now she's looking for her big comeback. She plans to star in a 500 guy gang bang and successfully bang every single guy, no matter who they are, what they look like, on set, in one day.

"500" is her journey back. Does she do it?

Find out!

by Anonymousreply 298March 10, 2014 8:56 PM

I like the one by R294

by Anonymousreply 299March 10, 2014 9:55 PM

Thanks R299. You made my day. It's a "Boogie Nights" meets "Coal Miner's Daughter".

I like "Auto Zone". I was picturing Aniston as an Aileen Wournos type: a heavier, volatile, angry, potentially violent kind of person - gets sent to prison. She needs to play those roles to earn an Academy Award. I think a thread called, "Create an Academy Award winning role for Jennifer Aniston" would be hilarious.

by Anonymousreply 300March 12, 2014 1:59 PM

"America's Game"

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Jennifer Aniston, and Zac Efron

Indiana football star Adam Richards (Gylenhaal) has it all. He is an All-American quarterback who married his high-school sweetheart, homecoming queen Fate Richards, (Aniston) and who was a hero to his hometown. He went onto the pros and became the best quarterback in the league. But, Adam has a secret; he is gay and in love with an athletic trainer on his team, (Efron). Adam realizes that fame and success have molded him into something he is not and that if revealed who he really was, would he no longer be the hero everyone keeps reminding him he is? Would America turn their backs on him? He is growing older in a game that caters to youth and agility and the dissatisfaction with his life and love for his male friend leads to strains in his marriage, strains with his lover, and strains within himself as he begins to wonder who really he is, and if he came out... would he still be a hero?

by Anonymousreply 301March 12, 2014 3:14 PM

"Big Girls Don't Crimea"

Zara Hogan (Jennifer Aniston) is a 30something foreign correspondent at the peak of her profession... but a total loser at love.

After a heart to heart with her overbearing mother (Jennifer Lawrence) on the drive to the airport to her latest assignment, Zara begins to question whether it may be time to seriously think about hanging up her khaki vests and trade them in for some mom jeans.

But first she has an assignment to fulfill in Eastern Europe where Ukraine and Russia seem destined to collide. At the front lines, Zara will teach a brutish Berkut officer who doesn't speak English (Sacha Baron Cohen) how much better it is to make love, not war.

Also featuring Yakov Smirnoff as THE TRANSLATOR.

by Anonymousreply 302March 14, 2014 3:33 AM

I'd totally watch R301.

by Anonymousreply 303March 14, 2014 3:42 AM

"My Body, My Selfie" (2015)

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, Melissa McCarthy, Justin Theroux, Casey Wilson and Quvenzhane Wallis, with John C. Reilly as "Coonass" and Lainie Kazan as Mrs. Dempsey

Tagline: You never know how others see you.

Soundtrack single: "All the Times Passed (Theme from "My Body, My Selfie") by Colbie Caillat

For years, Brynn Wanderley (Jennifer Aniston) takes a cellphone photo of herself every morning to start the day. Why? Because she's a top production designer who's constantly traveling the world and can't remember what city she's in at any moment! Brynn has been everywhere, but she's never been "secure" enough in one place to stick with any one man.

On a location shoot in New Orleans, she gets the word she'll be there not for three weeks, but for three MONTHS working with temperamental director Iago Mortensen (Justin Theroux, in a thinly disguised take on Quentin Tarantino).

That night, depressed and getting sauced in the hotel bar, she has a chance reunion with wry, wisecracking Louisiana native Rosalie Dempsey (Melissa McCarthy), a sizable gal who remembers Brynn from their days 30 years ago at summer camp, when Brynn would tease her about her weight. When Brynn doesn't recognize Rosalie after all these years, Rosalie sees her chance for revenge. But what form will it take?

As the women get closer, Brynn is surprised to find herself falling for Rosalie's regular-guy husband "Coonass" Delacroix (John C. Reilly), who works at the mall repairing cellphones during the week, competes in Cajun barbecue cookoffs on the weekend and has pictures of Jesus and Saints quarterback Drew Brees on his pickup truck.

Meanwhile, Rosalie second-guesses the plan she's hatched to humiliate Brynn on the set of Iago's new movie by showing them the thousands of selfies Coonass found on Brynn's iPhone. But is it too late to stop the plan?

Can one woman betray a new friend? Can one woman betray an OLD friend? And do those pictures we take of ourselves show the REAL us -- or just what we think we want other people to see?

by Anonymousreply 304March 14, 2014 5:36 AM

[quote]After a heart to heart with her overbearing mother (Jennifer Lawrence)

This is my favorite bit. Jen Aniston would love to have Jen Lawrence play her mother.

by Anonymousreply 305March 14, 2014 7:18 AM

R304 I could totally see that as a movie. You should write that one up.

by Anonymousreply 306March 14, 2014 7:39 AM

"I Can't get Rid of my Roommate!!"

Jennifer Aniston plays an on the rise magazine editor who must do everything in her power to evict her mentally ill, freeloading friend - who attained legal tenancy after couch surfing for 30 days. (Chelsea Handler.) It's War of the Roses meets Failure to Launch! Sit back and enjoy the laughs as these two crazy ladies cover each other wardrobes with deer urine to mark their territory!!

by Anonymousreply 307April 26, 2014 9:02 PM

r301, you need to think of something more plausible. The plot you came up with is totally unrealistic.

by Anonymousreply 308April 26, 2014 9:07 PM

Bikini Days - Jen plays a 27-year-old bikini model, BECAUSE SHE'S STILL SEXY DAMMIT!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 309April 27, 2014 3:57 PM

bumping for the Jen's upcoming movie that rips off Ruthless People

by Anonymousreply 310May 24, 2014 1:07 AM

bumping a hilarious thread

by Anonymousreply 311November 9, 2014 8:48 AM

'Iago Mortensen'

Lol!

by Anonymousreply 312November 9, 2014 8:54 AM

A DOLL's HOUSE 2015 - starring Jennifer Anniston, Gale Harrold.

Not the Ibsen play, but a touching take on Hedy Grimes(Anniston), a bored suburban housewife married to Rolf (Harold) and toying with the idea of infidelity with her son's sciene teacher (Jim Carrey).

by Anonymousreply 313November 9, 2014 12:38 PM

FRENEMIES

It's a sad day for Rachel when she attends the fifteen year gathering of the NYC roommates, only to discover, after an evening of untamed gluttony and excessive imbibing, that they never really liked her after all.

by Anonymousreply 314November 9, 2014 12:58 PM

Love r304 idea!

by Anonymousreply 315November 9, 2014 1:25 PM

Aniston is not a bad actress. I wish she would do something more serious with some teeth. I guess those scripts aren't out there for her.

by Anonymousreply 316November 9, 2014 1:52 PM

Bump to find Jen's new Oscar nomination vehicle.

by Anonymousreply 317January 16, 2015 9:25 AM

Why Can't I? (2016)

Hollywood, present day. Attractive celebrity Annie Jenniston was a popular 90s sitcom star, and is now a middling movie presence. From rom-coms to dramatic roles where she wears ugly makeup, this 30 something girl can not catch a break. Her husband (Chris Hemsworth) dumps her publicly for a sultry, bona-fide movie star (Jessica Chastain). But now, the Devil (Gwyneth Paltrow) offers her a deal....but will Annie pay the price to "have it all"? With Courtney Cox as BFF Roxie Routeny and Blythe Danner as the mom.

by Anonymousreply 318January 16, 2015 11:10 AM

Always A Bridesmaid

It's the last straw for an aging starlet (Jennifer Aniston) when her close friend (Melissa McCarthy) gets married for the fourth time, and her fianceé of twenty one years (Jack Nicholson) won't even accompany her to the wedding.

by Anonymousreply 319January 16, 2015 11:20 AM

Bonk! (2016)

Jennifer Anniston stars in this seasons's most anticipated bio-pic, a harrowing re-telling of the last hours of Benazir Bhutto.

by Anonymousreply 320January 16, 2015 11:40 AM

LOL, R320!

by Anonymousreply 321January 16, 2015 12:05 PM

My anus, myself.

Jennifer Aniston is Jennifer Lawrence in this hard hitting, topical biopic that probes social mores and the culture of narcissism in a blistering critique that leaves no orifice untouched. In a courageous, career-defining role, Jen Aniston shines as the world's highest paid, blockbuster-starring, early 20s actress caught up in an online scandal of her own making ...

by Anonymousreply 322January 16, 2015 12:27 PM

MAISIE(2015) An Orion pictures release starring Jennifer Anniston as a waitress in the town of Bay City, MI. Based on the popular NBC soap opera Another World.

by Anonymousreply 323January 16, 2015 12:37 PM

"Cut. Them. Off." (2015)- Three jilted mistresses (Jennifer Aniston, Brooke Shields and Kate Hudson) plot revenge on the cheaters (Dermot Mulroney, Hugh Jackman and Luke Wilson) who refused to divorce the wives after years of leading them on. Luring them to Vegas on a bogus sweepstakes vacation, the girls go incognito and proceed to humiliate, abuse and generally wreak havoc. Starring Edie Falco, Frances McDormand and Lisa Lampanelli as The Wives. Also starring Carson Kressley as makeup artist Sven Golly. Directed by Chelsea Handler.

by Anonymousreply 324January 16, 2015 11:17 PM

Bumping because of her new "Mother's Day" film!

by Anonymousreply 325July 2, 2015 11:59 PM

Paraphernalia (2017) America's Original Sweetheart gives an incandescent and uncanny performance as American Fashion great Betsy Johnson, from her 60's rocket to stardom at the legendary boutique, Paraphernalia, through Alley Cat, the Punk years, and heroic battles with bankruptcy, despair, loss of love and inspiration, and cancer. Chloe Sevigny costars as rival Mary Quant, with Jared Leto in a special guest-starring role as Warhol.

by Anonymousreply 326July 3, 2015 12:19 AM

BetsEy oops

by Anonymousreply 327July 3, 2015 12:19 AM

R320 is spectacular

by Anonymousreply 328July 3, 2015 12:26 AM

bump

by Anonymousreply 329July 3, 2015 7:29 PM

I Am Rachel (2016)

In a stunning and graphic portrayal destined to be celebrated come awards season, Jennifer Aniston stars as Rachel Dolezal, a 30 something young woman looking to start a new life. The film traces her experiences at Howard University as a victim of racism and climaxes in the second half, where Rachel has transformed herself into a respected, educated black woman. With Jada Pinkett as her BFF Cherilynn, and Quvenzhané Wallis as Rachel's adopted brother. Directed by Chris Columbus, script by Gwyneth Paltrow

by Anonymousreply 330August 1, 2015 6:35 PM

[quote]Quvenzhané Wallis as Rachel's adopted brother.

I see .... working in the tranny angle because it's so trendy right now.

by Anonymousreply 331August 1, 2015 6:44 PM

Well fuck you all. I have VERY important things to do today, and am now forced to spend my day on this thread.

by Anonymousreply 332August 1, 2015 8:42 PM

R307 is completely unbelievable.

by Anonymousreply 333August 1, 2015 8:52 PM

I mean R301.

by Anonymousreply 334August 1, 2015 8:52 PM

Jen's trying for her own version of The Blind Side

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 335February 24, 2016 12:29 AM

Oh my god, R301. That is good.

by Anonymousreply 336February 24, 2016 12:36 AM

A vote for Bella and Belinda.

by Anonymousreply 337February 24, 2016 1:15 AM

Blocked R337.

by Anonymousreply 338February 24, 2016 1:22 AM

What? It needs editing but that is a good treatment

by Anonymousreply 339February 24, 2016 1:36 AM

This thread has resurfaced in my feed.

I cried with laughter when it originated, and I am crying with laughter now.

by Anonymousreply 340February 24, 2016 1:38 AM

I'm Not One of Your Fans!

A mother daughter (Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Lawrence) feud over a family estate. Tensions rise when two gay drifters (Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemswoth) seduce the mother into wild sex games, after being paid to do so by her daughter. Jennifer Anniston, starring as the revenge mother from hell, gives this film a nude and raw performance in this modern clasic. Sic

by Anonymousreply 341February 24, 2016 4:07 AM

Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma'am

Jennifer Anniston is Felicia Gomez, a fast talkin immigrant super hero who was a child maid, but now works for the FBI. With Mark Ruffalo as a detective, Mike, who falls for Felicia, and Sofua Vergara as his ex-wife. Maria, who is also a mutant.

by Anonymousreply 342February 25, 2016 3:40 AM

DL at its best

by Anonymousreply 343February 25, 2016 3:42 AM

This is her latest abortion:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 344March 29, 2016 11:53 PM

How did I miss this thread from four years ago? Rainey Rails is the perfect name for a Jennifer Aniston character, R20!

by Anonymousreply 345April 1, 2016 6:58 PM

The Kellyanne Connection (summer 2017)

In her most dramatic role in years, Anniston stars as Kellyanne Conway, a tough, smart, conservative gal who's trying to make a go of it in DC as a politicial strategist. When the election brings her candidate victory, she's thrust into the shadowy, dangerous world of White House intrigue. Just WHO is the source of the leaked intel!? With George Clooney as her husband George, and in a stunning choice, the role of the President is compellingly played by an offscreen actor, with a dark meaning shadow as the only visual representation.

by Anonymousreply 346February 15, 2017 6:45 PM

Hidden Fences - Jen plays a brave white women who helps black people register to vote during the civil rights era. She falls for a brave civil rights lawyer (Jon Hamm).

by Anonymousreply 347February 16, 2017 12:11 AM

The Surgeon: Isabelle Humphries is a successful orthopaedic surgeon in Boston. Louis, played by Steve Carell, is a widower/single father whose son, Conner, was born with a club foot. Conner, now 15, longs to play ice hockey and has been researching corrective surgery options. Wanting to support his son, but hesitant to see him get his hopes up for nothing, Louis and Connor make an appointment to see Dr. Humphries. Louis and Isabelle discover their mutual love of Thai food and Isabelle has developed a breakthrough procedure that corrects club foot.

by Anonymousreply 348July 23, 2017 5:10 AM

Lulu Dimanche (Jennifer Aniston) is a successful fashion designer and it girl. But she hides a dark secret: her real name is Krystle Duggar and she was raised in a trailer park. After her sister Shayla is sent to prison for drug dealing, Lulu/Krystle must deal with her past as Shayla appoints her as legal guardian of her kids, Kayla, Jolene and Jayden. Will Lulu/Krystle give up her glamorous life to raise the children? And, more importantly, wil her hot shot entrepreneur fiance Kurt Smothers support her decision?

by Anonymousreply 349July 23, 2017 5:47 AM

Just Sayin', Z'all (2018) Archconservative talk show host Bibi Nazir (Jennifer Anniston) rules the airwaves with an iron tongue. No liberal sacred cow is safe from her acidic takedowns. There's only one problem-it's all an act! When she takes a shine newly widowed, ultraliberal President Alexander Sloane (Harry Styles), she faces the toughest choice of her life-her man or her fans!? Look out for celebrity cameos from Cher (as the flamboyant Ambassador to Vatican City) and Charlie Sheen as the Surgeon General of the United States.

by Anonymousreply 350July 23, 2017 6:16 AM

My god, did I post this 5 1/2 years ago? It can't be possible.

Time is flying by so fast in my middle age.

by Anonymousreply 351July 23, 2017 6:38 AM

It was a fantastic thread R351. A DL recent classic.

by Anonymousreply 352July 23, 2017 6:53 AM

I remember this thread. The titles and casting were hilarious. Did anyone's movie get made?

by Anonymousreply 353July 23, 2017 7:44 AM

OP/351, I Know, Right? is hysterical. It actually should have been made.

by Anonymousreply 354July 23, 2017 1:43 PM

Love this thread

by Anonymousreply 355July 21, 2019 4:36 AM

We don't get great threads like this anymore.

by Anonymousreply 356July 21, 2019 2:41 PM

So That Happened (2019): Mandy Masters-McGill seems to have it all: a fast track tenure position in the women’s studies department of a small but highly regarded liberal arts college, a sensitive but quirky mathematician boyfriend (Michael Cera), a tidy Victorian on a leafy suburban street. “My life is an A,” opines Mandy over a glass of Chardonnay with her best friend, drama prof Jasmine Balls-Organista (Tiffany Haddish), “but only if I’m grading on a curve.”

Mandy’s Nissan Leaf breaks down one rainy night and ends up in the garage of mechanic Badger Jones (Tom Hiddleston). “Don’t know too much ‘bout these newfangled ‘lectric cars” drawls Badger. When he tells Mandy that she’ll have to use his manual until the parts come in, she protests, “I haven’t driven a stick shift since I was 18!” “That’s a long time to go with using the stick shift” retorts Badger, with a wry glance. Mandy bristles, offended by his impertinence...but strangely aroused.

A series of tense and increasingly sensual driving lessons brings Mandy and Badger closer, perplexing the professor. Jasmine has a theory: “Maybe it’s because you study women, but no one treated you like a lady for a long time.” Things go sideways when Badger accidentally misgenders Mandy’s star student, Tiara (Jazz Jennings in her film debut) while purchasing a cooler at Walmart. “I’m sorry, dude...I mean, miss...I mean...mama mia, get me out of this mess!” Soon, articles calling for a boycott of Badger’s garage appear in the student paper, and Mandy is torn between her career, her student, and the man who may just be the one.

You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll learn as our heroine orchestrates a truce between the he-man and the trans, culminating in a wedding where Tiara serves as maid of honor and her FTM boyfriend, Jax (Justin Bieber) steps in as Badger’s best man.

Also starting Lea DeLaria as the wise (and wisecracking) nondenominational pastor and Wilford Brimley as Badger’s crusty dad, who proves that’s never too late to learn and love.

by Anonymousreply 357July 21, 2019 6:34 PM

BEST THREAD EVER!!!!!

Happy Holidays!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 358December 22, 2019 3:23 PM

More! Please, we need a Holiday 2019 film for Jen!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 359December 22, 2019 3:37 PM

[Quote] You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll learn as our heroine orchestrates a truce between the he-man and the trans, culminating in a wedding where Tiara serves as maid of honor and her FTM boyfriend, Jax (Justin Bieber) steps in as Badger’s best man.

🤣🤣🤣

by Anonymousreply 360January 28, 2020 12:04 PM

Surely there's a feel-good script for Aniston about a scrappy college grad who finds a way to save Wall Street with hand sanitizer made from hummus?

by Anonymousreply 361April 2, 2020 8:49 PM

No one cares about Aniston's career during this time of crisis?

by Anonymousreply 362April 2, 2020 9:59 PM

R361 why hummus?

by Anonymousreply 363April 3, 2020 3:01 AM

Because wacky!

by Anonymousreply 364April 3, 2020 9:18 AM

Go 4 It! (You aren't being paranoid if they are really out to get you)

Jennifer Aniston plays Beulah Bell, the Holywood Agent for the Stars who has it all. Fellow agent and best friend Heidi Flannigan (played by Jennifer Garner) has to go to rehab for an undisclosed amount of time following a DUI in MariLago where she mooned Trump during a visit to Florida. Her clients are being issued to other agents in the firm. Hilarity ensues when Beulah sees that one of the people she is responsible for is no other than Corey Feldman (playing himself). When Feldman proceeds to do what he wants to do, including scamming his fans regarding the life (and death) of his best friend, and running a prostitution ring around his band, Beulah comes to the realization that her life would be much easier and more productive if Feldman were dead. First Beulah tries to take him outwith a drug overdose, but he survived. She tried to run over him with a rental car, but someone saves him. Mark Harmon plays the ex-GreenBeret hitman Beulah hires to do the deed. Can Buelah find love with Harmon while simultaneously trying to convince Feldman that all of the attempts to kill him are all in his head?

by Anonymousreply 365April 3, 2020 5:40 PM

Love it, R365!

Hilarity definitely ensued!

by Anonymousreply 366April 3, 2020 5:51 PM

R365 don't think we've seen Garner and Aniston share the screen before.

by Anonymousreply 367April 4, 2020 3:03 AM

Most of her movies have Jason Bateman in them, and make no money. And don't forget boring shallow characters. You know the type you'd rather blow your brains out then be around.

by Anonymousreply 368April 4, 2020 3:10 AM

R365 is perfect!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 369October 4, 2020 12:07 PM

Pretty much the last great DL creative thread.

by Anonymousreply 370October 4, 2020 12:47 PM

This and the "Let's Create An Ashley Judd Thriller!" thread were the peak of fun here.

Now it's all gone.

by Anonymousreply 371October 4, 2020 12:54 PM

Reading the first 100 posts and I can see three that I wrote.

It really was so easy.

by Anonymousreply 372October 4, 2020 1:18 PM

Can you imagine the marketing for 'IK,R?' at OP???

Aniston explaining how she was "drawn" to the film because of the touching yet hilarious script.

by Anonymousreply 373October 4, 2020 1:37 PM

Origin of Truth

Jennifer Aniston is Caitlin “Katie” McCormack a disenchanted soccer mom hiding her pain behind record breaking bake sales and sponsored Soul Cycles (TM) beloved/envied by all the other moms for her carefree smile and gorgeous, attentive attorney hubby Connor (Matthew Rhys/Matthew Goode/Matthew McBongo) until one day Tragedy Strikes and Katie finds out she never really knew her husband at all.

Soon she seeks answers and enlists help from her high school crush, retired (drinking on the job with tragic outcome) cop turned PI Scott Parker (Jason Bateman) never thinking her actions will endanger all of their lives as they try to seek the truth and resist the attraction sparking between them.

Also starring: Felicity Huffman as Katie’s undermining mom who blames everything on her, Judy Greer as fellow mom and frenemy, C Thomas Howell as Parker’s former Captain and Lucy Liu as a Mysterious Woman. Katie’s plucky kid played by Jason Bateman’s real life daughter.

by Anonymousreply 374October 4, 2020 3:30 PM

Love this thread. OP you are cute and witty.

by Anonymousreply 375October 4, 2020 3:34 PM

My Corona

Sharona Davis is a former early aughts singer song writer who scored one hit in the fall of 2000, What if Jesus was One of Us. Now she's set for a big comeback tour with other Lilith fair type singers during the middle of a global pandemic. She falls in love with her drummer (Mark Ruffalo), ends up at BLM rally, and crashes the white house lawn during a protest. This is the feel good dramedy of the year, and career making performance. Jen will finally win the oscar.

by Anonymousreply 376October 4, 2020 4:04 PM

Reconnecting With The Past

-Jennifer Aniston stars as a lesbian physician Eileen Hampton who is active in gay and lesbian organizations and is happily married to her wife and fellow physician Kelly played by Patricia Arquette. Eileen and Kelly live a happy life with their three kids in Portland, Oregon. But, Eileen's past comes back to haunt her when her high school girlfriend Tammy Sue played by Amy Adams arrives in Portland to end her life via euthanasia because of the state's right to die law . Tammy Sue is a ventilator dependent quadriplegic and it becomes revealed that when Eileen and Tammy Sue were in high school in Georgia, Eileen's father played by J.K. Simmons in flashbacks shot Tammy Sue in the neck after he found Tammy Sue and Eileen kissing in the garage and the shooting was the cause for Tammy Sue's paralysis. It's also revealed that Eileen's really name is Becky Ann Wade and she changed her name before entering college to distance herself from her tragic past and she cut off contact with her family and never visited her father in prison and he died of heart attack in prison.

Eileen aka Becky Ann reveals her tragic story ot her wife Kelly while also trying to convince her former girlfriend Tammy Sue to keep living life despite being paralyzed from the neck down and being on a ventilator. Along the way Eileen reconnects with her estranged mother(Jessica Lange).

by Anonymousreply 377October 4, 2020 4:51 PM

[quote]Also starring: Felicity Huffman as Katie’s undermining mom

BEST thing on DL in 2020!!!!

CLASSIC DL!!!!!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 378October 4, 2020 4:56 PM

Eyes Without A Face - Aniston's character, Calico Hayes, will stop at nothing to prove her mother, Doreen, was the murdered woman in Billy Idol's famed song. Through Facebook, she locates Calico's BFF, Tracy (played by Demi Moore) a retired DMV employee. Together they track down Billy Idol (played by himself). In an unguarded moment, Idol is kidnapped and taken to Calico's tool shed behind her home in Syracuse NY. There, Calico is prepared to remove Idol's voice box until he reveals the shocking twist: Calico is the murdered woman in Idol's song.

by Anonymousreply 379October 5, 2020 1:00 AM

R377 shutup and take my money 🤑

by Anonymousreply 380October 5, 2020 8:43 AM

Picture Perfect (Valentine's Day 2021)

Jennifer Aniston is dedicated career gal Kate who despite her talent just can't seem to move up the corporate ladder. Being a single girl, she is seen as being too unstable to promote so she lies and tells her boss that she has a fiance. She bribes her wedding photographer neighbor Nick (Jay Mohr) to pose as her fiance when she gets invited to her boss's house for dinner.

After Kate gets her promotion, she has no use to continue the ruse anymore so she fakes a big fight with Nick in front of her boss and breaks off her "engagement". But Nick refuses to break up and tells Kate he has fallen in love with her for real. Now Kate must choose between her career or Nick. Maybe a career girl can have it all afterall!

by Anonymousreply 381October 5, 2020 9:42 AM

Not quite there, R381 - her character needs a stupid name. 'Kayte' would be ok.

by Anonymousreply 382October 5, 2020 10:01 AM

Jay Mohr, however, absolutely would NOT be ok.

by Anonymousreply 383October 5, 2020 10:05 AM

Why not? You don’t think she’s good enough to star in a movie with Jay Mohr?

by Anonymousreply 384October 5, 2020 10:51 AM

MY BIG FAT GREEK CHORUS (release date TBD)

High concept pitch: Sybil meets Bridesmaids

Tagline: Jen...times ten!

It's an acting tour de force when Jennifer Aniston plays a woman with multiple personalities! Nia "Poppy" Papadopoulos (Aniston) seems to have it all: fabulous loft apartment, sassy best friend (John Mulaney), doting if dull fiance (Channing Tatum), and her dream job as a pet photographer. But when a conk on the noggin unleashes her buried alternate personalities, Poppy's life goes topsy-turvy!

Hilarious hijinks ensue as Poppy tries to hang her first gallery show while Angry Poppy just wants to break glass, Poppy keeps waking up in strange motel rooms because Naughty Poppy has been turning tricks, and Poppy's perfectly planned baby shower for her older sister (Jennifer Lawrence) goes off the rails when Li'l Poppy relives the childhood abuse!

Only maverick psychiatrist and yoga instructor Satchel Skinner (Chris Hemsworth) can help Poppy face her inner demons. But can he face his own feelings?

With John Cena as the pimp, Charlie Day as the art critic, Queen Latifah as the inner self helper, and Julia Roberts as an old boot.

by Anonymousreply 385October 5, 2020 10:58 AM

[Quote] and Poppy's perfectly planned baby shower for her older sister (Jennifer Lawrence) goes off the rails

Lmao 😆

by Anonymousreply 386October 5, 2020 11:02 AM

With all these stories Jen can play 30 something single in romantic comedies forever!

by Anonymousreply 387October 5, 2020 11:18 AM

SPINSTER BRIDGE TROLL

Animated feature, from the producers of SHREK

"Jen", voiced by Jennifer Aniston, is a troll who lives under a bridge and is unlucky in love. Barren and childless, she resorts to abducting passing children to consume their souls. Featuring the voice of John Mayer as "Jonnie Wonder", the young troubadour who dashes Jen's last hopes of starting a family and Angelina Jolie as "Angie", the Disney witch who lives in the castle up on the hill.

by Anonymousreply 388October 5, 2020 4:57 PM

R381, I assume that was supposed to be Sly in passing off an actual movie as your own idea?

by Anonymousreply 389October 5, 2020 11:11 PM

'Over My Dead Body' (2021)

High-powered NYC publicist Regina Greenblatt had it all, until she is compelled to return to her hometown in Upstate NY during the 2020 pandemic to care for her ailing father (Bob Newhart in his final role, for which he'll win a posthumous Golden Globe). Sabrina's father had begged her to come home for years to take over the family-run funeral home, but she always said no and told her father that her brother Randy (Jack Black) could handle running it himself. Needless to say, the only thing Randy was running, was running the funeral home into the ground! With the funeral home backed up with dead bodies from the quarantine, Sabrina helps Randy rent cooler trucks to store the dead bodies until funerals can take place safely. Hilarity ensues as they drag the tarp-covered bodies to the cooling trucks, dropping a few along the way during a montage set to "Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi. Randy teaches Regina the ins and outs of the funeral business, and she begins to realize the similarities between PR work and the mortuary business.

It soon becomes apparent that Regina and Randy's father Moses (Newhart) is succumbing to the corona, and so he is admitted to the local hospital for round-the-clock care. Due to corona restrictions, Regina and Randy can't physically visit their father, but they can call him on the phone while speaking to him outside his first floor hospital window. A friendly hospital groundskeeper, Jesus Morales (played by Jesse Metcalfe in a comeback role), notices their vigil and offers to communicate with their father while they're both trying to keep the funeral home afloat around the clock. The sad reality soon sets in that Regina and Randy will soon be planning their own father's funeral. In her heartfelt monologue to Jesus the groundskeeper outside her father's hospital window, Regina pitches a fit--complete with stuttering, hair flipping, stomping, and ugly crying--and utters the movie's catchphrase: "Over my dead body will I plan my own father's funeral!" (This will win Aniston her 8th People's Choice Award, this time for Best Actress in a Dramedy.) Morales tells her his stepmother is in need of a job, and soon Sherry Morales (played by Julia Duffy) is hired to help out...and to also plan Moses' funeral, her very first gig. Hilarity and dark comedy ensue as Sherry learns the ropes on the job, but her funereal tribute to Moses turns out well, and Regina realizes the funeral home can operate without her there.

As Regina packs her bags to return to NYC, Randy promises her that he and Sherry have the funeral home under control, and that she needs to get back to living her own life in the Big Apple. Randy drops Regina off at their hometown airport, and as she's waiting for her puddle jumper back to LaGuardia, who should show up to the terminal window--outside looking in--but Jesus. In a heartfelt moment, he calls her and they speak through the window to each other, just as Regina did with her corona-riddled father Moses. The movie ends with Jesus asking her to stay, and Regina grinning into the phone and saying--with a classic Aniston chuckle and nose twitch--"Over my dead body am I going back to New York!"

by Anonymousreply 390October 6, 2020 7:42 AM

anniston is most odious actress around !!!!

by Anonymousreply 391October 6, 2020 9:38 AM

That's nice R390 but I've heard Duffy can be a bit of a handful to work with.

by Anonymousreply 392October 6, 2020 3:32 PM

#TeamJolie

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 393October 6, 2020 10:13 PM

R390 here...I meant for Aniston's character name to be Regina, but I'd first named her Sabrina and then changed it. Sorry for the confusing switching back and forth, as I forgot to edit "Sabrina" to "Regina." And yes, R392, Julia Duffy can be difficult, but who better to plan Bob Newhart's funeral?!?

by Anonymousreply 394October 6, 2020 10:57 PM

My Savant Sister

In this modern day spin on Rain Main, Jennifer Aniston stars as Rebecca Ludwig, a high powered NYC fashion designer whose life is thrown into chaos when her autistic sister Violet (Kate McKinnon) arrives in NYC to start an engineering job. Rebecca must contend with Violet's presence in her life while getting ready for a major fashion show. Aaron Eckhart stars as Rebecca's boyfriend Stewart who becomes an unlikely friend for Violet. Winona Ryder stars as Gina a wise therapist specializing in autism caregiving and she guides Rebecca through her journey of understanding her sister better.

by Anonymousreply 395October 7, 2020 3:20 AM

He Said Yes!

Jennifer Aniston lawyer turned wedding planner Gayle Tilsley-Platt, the CEO of Tilsley Platt Wedding Planners, New York's most prestigious wedding planning business, which she runs with her husband Martin, played by Hugh Jackman. The next month will see two major moments in wedding planner Gayle's life. The 20th anniversary since she created her wedding planning business and the 1000th wedding she will plan, which Gayle is auctioning to raise funds for a refuge for survivors or Rwandan gang rape

Gayle's life is thrown into chaos when the competition is won by her high school sweetheart Aubrey Potter (Ricky Martin) a man she hasn't seen for 30 years, And if that wasn't enough of a shock, Aubrey is marrying Gayle's 25 year old stepson Ralph (Dacre Montgomery), Martin's son from his first marriage to Ginger, played by Catherine Zeta Jones.

Gayle finds herself in the centre of a media storm when the wedding becomes national news after state governor Mike Baldwin (Ian McKellen) announces a ban on same sex weddings. Gayle has to fight with all her strength to persuade husband Martin to accept his gay son and walk him down the aisle, to get Mike Baldwin to reverse his ban and to convince Aubrey that she really did get over their tragic break up all those years ago and doesn't still carry a torch for him. Will Gayle be able to face the demons of why they broke up? Gayle's 1000th wedding really is going to be the toughest one yet!

Featured in supporting roles are Laverne Cox as Gayle's sassy gynaecologist, Sarita Choudhury as the head of New York ACLU and Cynthia Nixon as Gayle's sexless lesbian best friend Sally who has no personality other than being a sexless lesbian best friend

by Anonymousreply 396October 7, 2020 7:22 PM

Make that "sexless BISEXUAL best friend."

(I REGRET coming out as a lesbian).

by Anonymousreply 397October 7, 2020 9:44 PM

Surely someone has a new premise for a feel-good Holiday film for La Aniston?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 398December 4, 2020 6:03 PM
Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 399December 4, 2020 6:04 PM

Melody At Christmas

Melody Fontaine (Jessica Aniston) is a successful romantic fiction novelist with a successful sports journalist husband Rick (Colin Firth) and a successful fashion designer daughter Celeste (Florence Pugh). A Christmas approaches, Melody is gearing up for the release of the 10th novel in her hugely successful Wendy Walker series, and the new year release of the first movie adaption, "Why He Turns Away", starring up and coming actress Miranda Parker (Lea Michele) as Wendy.

But the night before Medody's star studded book launch party, the National Enquirer runs a story that Rick has not only been having an affair with Miranda, but that she is now pregnant with his baby. Melody does not take the news well, downing cocktails and trashing her luxury apartment, and pulling down the Christmas tree. Melody slips on a steel bauble and hits her head as she falls.

When she wakes up the next morning Melody thinks she's Wendy Walker, and when Celeste arrives the next morning to check on her mother, Melody believes Celeste is actually Wendy's best friend Lucille, a slutty French au pair with a taste for high fashion and low prices, i.e. a shoplifting habit! After advice from top psychologist Janine Van Der Heuwe (Elliot Page) Celeste is advised to stay in character, complete with French accent, and play out the plot of Melody's first novel, which includes returning to university under the supervision of academic Bonnie Willis, played by Lisa Kudrow. As one of the university's most successful alumni, and someone who has donated millions for a new library, the students all tale roles in supporting Melody/Wendy's recovery.

As Celeste/Lucille watches Melody/Wendy relive her youth she questions her bond with her mother and how autobiographical the Wendy Walker Chronicles really were.

Will Melody recover from her psychotic episode in time for Christmas day? Will Miranda Parker have an abortion? Will Celeste develop the same shoplifting addiction as Lucille? Will Rick be fired from his job for having consensual sex with Miranda?

Melody At Christmas is destined to be a seasonal classic!

by Anonymousreply 400December 5, 2020 12:21 PM

How festive!!!!!

I love it!

Although... an adult daughter for Aniston???? Would she even consider it?

by Anonymousreply 401December 5, 2020 12:42 PM

R400 i would watch the shit out of that. You'd probably have to replace Lea with someone else.

by Anonymousreply 402December 6, 2020 3:22 AM

This is one of my all-time favorite DL threads. OP, whoever you are, wherever you are - thank you.

by Anonymousreply 403December 6, 2020 3:26 AM

If Jen's not interested in these, I'm available!

TIA!

by Anonymousreply 404December 7, 2020 11:35 AM

It's A Jolly Holiday With Mary!

Since graduating from Juliard, Mary Modigliani (Jennifer Aniston) has been trying to make it work as an actress for 20 years, but just hasn't had her big break. She's done cruise ships, Disney parks and even diarrhoea commercials.

Taking time out from her department store job, Mary attends the birthday party of best friend Eleanor Maybury (Winona Ryder) dressed as 10 year old Connie's daughter April's favourite Disney character - Mary Poppins! Mary's practically perfect performance is loved by the kids and as Mary makes her way back to her car she is approached by a tearful Carrie-Ann (Thandie Newton) who tells Mary that her son AJ is terminally ill, and on his bucket list he's wants Mary Poppins to visit him before he dies.

Touched by the story of poor tragic AJ and about to be evicted from her flat, Mary puts the Poppins costume back on and moves in with Carrie and AJ and their family, truly immersing herself in a role like never before. Mary gets out her rolodex of former class mates and assembles an assemble of supporting characters to make AJ's dying wishes come true. Featuring Eddie Redmayne as Jeremy Fox as Burt the Chimney Sweep, Octavia Spencer as Lucille Devereaux as Mrs Banks, Ian McKellen as Arthur Nash as Mr Banks, and Glenn Close as Mary Wilkinson as The Bird Lady.

Mary Modigliani might not get the Oscar she's always dreamed of, but she can sure as hell make a dying child's dreams come true.

by Anonymousreply 405December 7, 2020 2:45 PM

r395. Yo, I love it. This is hands down the best post on this thread. Too funny.

by Anonymousreply 406December 13, 2020 7:18 PM

How is it still possible to post in such an old thread, yet ones from 2015 are closed for no discernible reason?

Anyway, I just want to say I always appreciated the OP’s movie title. It’s so perfect, I don’t know why no one ever made it. I mean, they made “LOL” starring Miley Cyrus for god’s sake.

by Anonymousreply 407December 13, 2020 7:29 PM

R407 LOL was a remake of a French film.

by Anonymousreply 408December 14, 2020 4:17 AM

About a Proud Boy

Love crosses the political divide when 26-year-old BLM marcher Jess Maine (Aniston) falls for Proud Boy Tyler Jones (Tom Hiddleston, with an unconvincing American accent)

by Anonymousreply 409December 14, 2020 4:22 AM

I can't believe it was almost nine years ago I started this thread. Time is so fleeting...

"Time Is So Fleeting" (2021)- An ice sculptor (Jennifer Aniston) is told she has 3 mos. to live. Obsessed with her art, she never took time for marriage and family. When her aunt dies and leaves her some money, she takes a cruise to Antarctica with her bffs (Chelsea Handler and Amy Schumer). There she meets a rugged Climatologist (Greg Kinnear) and begins a romance only she knows can never last. Directed by Bradley Cooper, who also sings the title song. Captain Drew: Tom Green. Auntie: Brenda Vaccaro

by Anonymousreply 410December 14, 2020 5:39 AM

R409 i'm having a hard time picturing Tom playing a character named Tyler 😄

by Anonymousreply 411December 14, 2020 6:17 AM

I love you, R410/OP.

by Anonymousreply 412December 14, 2020 6:23 AM

No last minute holiday fare for Jenn?

by Anonymousreply 413December 23, 2020 12:21 PM

R410 Thank you and love you, OP. This is my favorite DL thread!

by Anonymousreply 414December 23, 2020 12:30 PM

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - 29-year-old fashion exec Mandy McDonald (Aniston) isn't having such a wonderful Christmas - she's fired from her high-powered job and her wealthy boyfriend (Luke Evans) dumps her. Then she finds out her mother (Joan Allen) is in the hospital with Covid. Will the hunky doctor she meets at the hospital (Jon Hamm) turn things around for her?

by Anonymousreply 415December 23, 2020 4:23 PM

Holiday 2008 Gap model, Jon Hamm?

Every Gift, ONLY GAP!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 416December 23, 2020 4:46 PM

What is with all these posts making Ms. Aniston in her 20s. Is that suppose to be a part of the parody? Or is it just Gen Zs with no sense of time.

by Anonymousreply 417December 23, 2020 5:41 PM

It's not Christmas without the Gap Playlist troll!

by Anonymousreply 418December 23, 2020 5:57 PM

Check out the December 2003 Gap In-Store Playlist!

Five months later, FRIENDS would be over for Jennifer!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 419December 23, 2020 6:20 PM

This thread is awesome, I am surprised some of these ideas have not been pinched yet. Love R3.

lol @ R396. You need to name one of them Ken Barlow! 😂😂

by Anonymousreply 420December 23, 2020 7:56 PM

Martha's Vinyards (European title: Half Past Wine O'Clock)

Martha Pressley (Aniston) is a tough talking fast walking wheeling dealing businesswoman in charge of the largest collection of vineyards in California. She works hard and plays hard, and has broken hundreds of hearts in the corporate world, with her latest conquest Ken Barlow (Matt Bomer) still carrying a torch for Martha.

Martha returns to her mansion for Christmas weekend but after an incredibly contrived incident blah blah she falls in love with her Mexican groundsman Jose Garcia (Eddie Redmayne) who has a tragic secret because he is a recovering oholic mourning the tragic loss of his wife and kids who were killed in an incredibly contrived incident blah blah.

Featuring Jennifer Connelly as Erin, Martha's sharp tongued younger sister.

by Anonymousreply 421December 23, 2020 10:35 PM

Auld Lang Sigh - newly single chef Brittany Anderson (Jennifer Aniston) dreads turning 30 and the thought of having to spend New Year's Eve alone. She works at hip french restaurant Mon Petit Chou, which has just been bought by sexy Frenchman Jean Luc (Olivier Martinez) - will her new boss be the love match she's been waiting for? Co-starring Octavia Spencer as her sassy best friend, LaShawn.

by Anonymousreply 422December 24, 2020 12:12 AM

The One Where A Screenwriter With Writer’s Block Creates A Datalounge Thread To Harvest The Brilliance Of Gay Men

by Anonymousreply 423December 24, 2020 12:46 AM

The Cute Clucks Clan

Henrietta "Henny" Osbourne is successful tv chef best known for her chicken recipes, supermarket ready meals and conservative republican views. But after witnessing an appalling incident of police brutality she becomes friends with sassy straight talking queer vegan Black Lives Matter activist LaDiana Spencer (Laverne Cox) leading Henny to reevaluate her racist recipes and oppressive chicken farms.

Featuring Christopher Plummer as Henny's white supremacist grandfather Pa Osbourne and Elliot Page as Henny's son Jasper "Jaz" Osbourne

by Anonymousreply 424December 24, 2020 12:59 PM

I actually really would love to see the movie in the OP's original thread. We need to start a petition to get it produced. However any casting changes since its been almost 10 yrs.

by Anonymousreply 425December 24, 2020 4:25 PM

JUST HELEN (1921) Helene Pourover (Jennifer Aniston) is a mature college professor at some fancy college, processing the death of her academic superstar husband (Colin Firth). Changing her name back to simply Helen, she attends a county fair where she has sex with a brawny specimen she meets in a loud, frenzied beer hall. In the morning she realizes Rod (Chris Pratt) is but a fairground carnie with a grating accent. (She couldn't hear his voice in the noisy bar.) Laughs ensue as Helen gives Rod a makeover on a trip to Europe, exposing him to art and culture...all in order that he will not embarrass her before her snooty peers when they return to her circle. But it's Rod who teaches Helen that beauty and tenderness can be found everywhere, and that no one needs to change in order to be loved. Helen realizes this is what her very own husband did to her years ago, even making her add that 'e' to her first name. Helen ditches her fancy academic life to "join the circus" as happy-go-lucky Rod's intended and we see her joyously working a ring-toss booth in the final frames. Released in the U.K. as MY FAIRGROUND LADDIE.

Notes?

by Anonymousreply 426December 24, 2020 5:07 PM

Jennifer Aniston is Dr Joanne Galbraith, a scientist leading a team comprising of Cara Delevingne, Lupita Nyong'o, Christina Hendricks and Matt Bomer in a race against time to find a vaccine against the forever mutating Covid virus.

Nicolas Winding Refn directs The Race Against Time.

Jennifer's "for your consideration" clip will be her breaking down when first research trials are a failure. "People are going to die, goddammit, they're going to die because we failed, because *I* failed, and there's just no stopping this sonofabitch virus".

by Anonymousreply 427December 24, 2020 7:41 PM

"Speachlous" (2021)-

Jennifer Aniston stars in this dark comedy as Saylor McGillicuddy, plucked from the secretarial pool to be the fifth White House Press Secretary in 6 months by the volatile, fish-outta-water President Johnnie Stamp (Nicolas Cage) after he sees her defending him on TV. In way over her head, she struggles valiantly to make sense of the illiterate, loose cannon POTUS- especially after he begins grabbing her crotch when no one is looking. In desperation, she turns to the President's closeted gay son Johnnie Jr. (Shia LaBeouf) and foreign-born First Lady (Sofia Vergara) who she is stunned to realize are already plotting to kill him. Vice President Dentz: Bob Odenkirk. Talana Stamp: Margot Robbie.

by Anonymousreply 428December 26, 2020 1:00 AM

R428, omg I want this film made. I love you guys. Merry Christmas DL family.

by Anonymousreply 429December 26, 2020 1:07 AM

"Blow It All Up!" (2021)

Director: Nancy Meyers

Theme: "Implosion" (Kesha, featuring Big Freedia)

Keely Stevens (Jennifer Aniston) was a showgirl in "Blow It All Up!," the last of the big Las Vegas production shows. Now she teaches dance in Portland, Oregon, where's she's married to a nice but boring college professor (Viggo Mortensen). But when she finds out that the hotel where she worked, the Bellissimo, is about to be imploded, she gets in touch with some of her old showgirl friends for one last weekend at the Bellissimo!

There's Jenisha (Kerry Washington), now a famous Atlanta pastor whose congregation -- and husband! -- has no idea she was once a topless dancer in big production numbers. Maitri (Mindy Kaling) is a high-powered TV news producer in Washington, D.C., but she's never found a man. And Rikki (Melissa McCarthy) is a Louisiana gal who's put on a few pounds since the old days and is ashamed of her body.

When "the girls" check into the Bellissimo, hijinx ensue! Keely meets up with a hotel manager (James Marsden) with whom she'd had a fling, long ago. Jenisha has to hide out from a Baptist convention that's staying at the hotel. Maitri is attracted to -- and aggravated by -- a conservative news anchor (Peter Gallagher) who's covering the hotel's implosion. And Rikki can't be pulled away from the penny slots!

After a Jägermeister-fueled evening, the girls break into the old costume closet and put on a show around the pool, reworking their old number set to "Waterfalls" as "Menopause."

They're a hit! And Rikki finds herself pursued by a roguish handsome Irishman (Jamie Dornan) who appreciates a woman who has "some potatoes in her stew."

The hotel manager offers them all a job recreating their production number during the hotel's farewell party. Will Jenisha risk her reputation and put on a skimpy costume? Will straitlaced Maitri cut loose on stage one last time? Will Rikki embrace her new figure? And will Keely throw away her dull marriage for an exciting new life in Las Vegas with her old flame?

by Anonymousreply 430December 26, 2020 2:37 AM

Bumping my favourite DL thread, for the culture.

by Anonymousreply 431May 31, 2021 4:57 PM

I wrote Wingwoman and it may be my life’s crowning achievement.

by Anonymousreply 432May 31, 2021 5:20 PM

As if to prove they are not in fact the same person, Jennifer Aniston snd Sandra Bullock play middle-aged sisters forced to share a household when they both lose everything.

Sandra is a former high-powered executive who lost her fortune and was briefly imprisoned in a Maddoff style scandal. Nicole Kidman plays Sandra’s estranged wife.

Jennifer is a former trophy wife whose high-powered hedge funder husband (Johnny Lee Miller) leaves her for his secretary (Shiloh Jolie-Pitt.)

by Anonymousreply 433May 31, 2021 5:27 PM

r430 needs to punch up Melissa McCarthy's role before submitting the treatment to her manager

by Anonymousreply 434May 31, 2021 8:38 PM

One of the best DL threads ever. Thanks for resurfacing it.

by Anonymousreply 435May 31, 2021 8:42 PM

"Middle-aged?"

Try "recent college graduates."

by Anonymousreply 436May 31, 2021 8:43 PM

I'm responsible for the posts below

R10 - You Too?

R91 - Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

R107 - Waiting For A Star To Fall

R396 - He Said Yes!

R400 - Melody At Christmas

R405 - It's A Jolly Holiday With Mary!

R421 - Martha's Vinyards (Half Past Wine O'Clock)

R424 - The Cute Clucks Clan

R427 - The Race Against Time

And these two I think were mine.

R79 - Peanuts!

R81 - Never Too Late To Learn

by Anonymousreply 437May 31, 2021 9:08 PM

We need a name for r433.

Might I suggest “HIGH POWERED”?

by Anonymousreply 438May 31, 2021 9:18 PM

R422 makes me laugh every time!

"Dreads turning 30!"

by Anonymousreply 439May 31, 2021 9:27 PM

My thoughts for a punch up on R430:

Melissa McCarthy’s Rikki is Keely’s former best friend and roommate. While the other girls were showgirls, Rikki was their show’s brassy warm-up comic. Offstage she was a chubby self-effacing wallflower in a town full of bottle service and nipple tassels. Keely gave up her showbiz dreams for the quiet life in Oregon and Rikki is now a famous standup comedienne in LA. But Rikki is single, lonely after years of grinding out tours and cable stand up specials, and has just been told she’s too old for the late night show she was up for (“We totally believe the future of late night is female! But we’re going in a different direction. Have you heard of the “Cash me outside” girl?”) Both are at a crossroads and unsure of the choices they have made. In Vegas, they encounter Vince Vaughn, the CEO of the casino, who was a lowly night manager back when they were all young. Rikki had an unrequited crush on him back in the day, but he only had eyes for Keely, who in turn broke up with him when she booked a big national tour (“Michael Flately’s Angela Ashes! It was going to be the Les Mis of Irish Step-dancing. It was my first no-pasties job!”) He puts them in a fabulous suite and gives them run of the hotel in its final days. The old dynamics repeat themselves causing tension between Rikki and Keely to surface and tempting Keely to break her vows.

Regina Hall instead of Kerry Washington for the former Jezebel hiding out from the Baptist conference. Jenifer Lewis plays the intimidating and censorious head Church Lady trying to sniff her out, and is revealed to have been Wayne Newton’s Vegas sidepiece back in the day.

Mindy Kaling’s character is a recently fired Real Housewives-type, who butts heads/falls in love with a grouchy NPR-type documentarian (John Cho) who is making a movie about the demise of the Bellissimo. Together, with his earnest belief in the power of honest storytelling and her innate talent for drama and reality TV mind games, they uncover that Vince Vaughn has been defrauding the casino for years.

The girls do their big number - Gina Gershon and Elizabeth Berkley make cameo appearances as two veteran Bellissimo dancers who never left the show and are engaged in a spy vs spy still blood feud. Rikki triumphs in her set - a sexy confident 21st century Mae West is born.

Vince Vaughn is arrested. The elusive owner of the Casino (archive footage of Joan Rivers) decides to spare the Bellissimo and offers Rikki a headlining residency. Keely goes back to Oregon and gets off the plane to meet her husband in a spangled showgirl outfit (“I know! I know! they say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas...)

by Anonymousreply 440May 31, 2021 10:06 PM

I'm the mediocrity, including the makeup and wardrobe.

by Anonymousreply 441June 1, 2021 12:04 AM

Every Rose Has Its Thorn

Rose Richardson (Jennifer Aniston) has it all - she's a successful litigator and partner of the city's biggest law firm alongside her husband Drake Darlington (James Marsden). When Mayor Harris (Tracy Letts) finds himself at the centre of a scandal involving his young mistress Kelly Steinberg (Lea Michele) Rose is the first person he calls. Rose thinks she has every thing in hand until she meets Kelly's laywer, British hotshot Jonathan Thorn (James Norton) a man who is as quick witted as he is handsome. What seemed like a surefire win for Rose is now in doubt, as she struggles to regain her composure in court in the middle of a heatwave. Featuring that black woman from that tv show as The Judge, January Jones as the wife of Mayor Harris and Susan Sarandon as Rose's great aunt Auntie Kathy.

by Anonymousreply 442June 1, 2021 7:21 PM

Kiss From A Rose

Rose Richardson (Jennifer Aniston) has it all - she's a successful litigator and partner of the city's biggest law firm alongside her husband Drake Darlington (James Marsden). At a high society masked ball to celebrate the re-election of Mayor Harris (Tracy Letts) Rose has a few too many glasses of champagne and decides to surprise her husband with an impromptu kiss. Except due to some contrived scenario Drake swaps his mask with the law firm's new hire, British hotshot lawyer Jonathan Thorn, who is the recipient of Rose's kiss. Jonathan kisses Rose back and she spends the next 90 minutes debating whether she loves her husband, interspersed with some courtroom scenes featuring Susan Sarandon as a racist pensioner.

by Anonymousreply 443June 1, 2021 7:48 PM

Surely there is a movie out there for Aniston to pine after hot older man, Theo James?

by Anonymousreply 444June 1, 2021 8:24 PM

Aniston in her 50s. James in his 30s.

by Anonymousreply 445June 3, 2021 9:35 AM

You don't get it, do you, R445?

by Anonymousreply 446June 3, 2021 12:38 PM

Sugar Daddies

Marilou Hernandez (Jennifer Aniston) had it all - a successful business and a dream marriage to the perfect husband James Cleverley (Zak Efron). But when Marilou's husband AND business are the victims of a hostile takeover by Carmen Liktschitz (Lea Michele) she finds herself down on her luck and looking for a way out. As her options run dry Marilou's sassy black trans woman of color BFF Juanita Moore (Laverne Cox) tells Marilou that there is one option she hasn't tried - joining a sugar daddy website in the hope of meeting a rich older man, because how do you think Juanita can afford her penthouse apartment with paronamic views, uhm hmmmm. After a run of disastrous dates (Logan Lerman, Liam Hemsworth and Ezra Miller* in cameos) Marilou finds herself torn between recently retired sweet talking romantic southern beau called Patrick Jefferson (Jonathan Groff) and tough talking film industry studio boss Paul Richardson (Ashley Taylor Johnson).

*Ezra Miller's scenes may be removed, depending on whether he attacks another woman.

by Anonymousreply 447June 3, 2021 1:32 PM

Jen is desperate for an Oscar nom. We need a St Viola Oscarbait movie but with Jen instead of St Viola in the lead. VD can then have more things to complain and cry about.

by Anonymousreply 448June 5, 2021 6:27 AM

Insurrection

Aaron Sorkin writes and directs a new drama about the attempted coup in the United States on 6th January. Jennifer Aniston takes on the role of Ashli Babbitt, assisted by a non linear storyline shows Babbitt's journey from a proud patriot serving her country in the armed forces to a frothing conspiracy theory obsessed crank storming the US Capitol. Featuring Matt Bomer as Jake Angeli, Margot Robbie as Riley June Williams, Kenneth Branagh as Mike Pence, Anthony Hopkins as Joe Biden and Thandiwe Newton as Kamala Harris.

by Anonymousreply 449June 5, 2021 8:51 AM

[quote] Kenneth Branagh as Mike Pence, Anthony Hopkins as Joe Biden and Thandiwe Newton as Kamala Harris.

WTF? Why should all three of them be played by Brits? There are enough American actors to play those parts.

by Anonymousreply 450June 5, 2021 8:57 AM

Miss Pantazis

Miss Pantazis (Aniston) is a 50 something Home Goods store manager in flyoverstan suburbia of the great city of _________.

Once ambitious and pretty Demi Pantazis made store manager at Marshalls at 32, over two decades ago, at which point her career in retail management stalled, along with her love life and fashion style. Miss Pantazis is frozen in time, stuck in the 90s in all ways. But she's a good manager of her motley team of ne'er-do-wells (Awkwafina, Julio Torres, Mckenna Grace, Wanda Sykes, and a devastatingly effective Heather Locklear, sans fard) at the Home Goods store in a strip mall in flyoverstan, which only plays 90s pop hits on the in-store playlist, a flouting of corporate policy, which is overlooked by Pantzis's boss in central (Jessica Alba as Ashley, who's first job as a teen was working for Miss Pantazis). With Esai Morales as the facilities contractor of the strip mall who's had his eye on Demi for years.

by Anonymousreply 451June 5, 2021 10:54 AM

Nice to see my influence, R451.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 452June 5, 2021 1:31 PM

[quote] . But she's a good manager of her motley team of ne'er-do-wells (Awkwafina, Julio Torres, Mckenna Grace, Wanda Sykes,

Do that many people work in Marshalls anymore?

by Anonymousreply 453June 5, 2021 2:05 PM

Its Home Goods. Well yeah over the course of a week. Awkwafina Julio and McKenna are the part-timers and Wanda Sykes are Heather Locklear are the very old timers. Heather ends up nominated for more awards than Jennifer but Jen is nice about it. It's basically a variation on The Good Girl. Darker and with black comedy.

by Anonymousreply 454June 5, 2021 6:09 PM

Miss Pantazis sounds too similar to the hit comedy Lazy Susan to get made.

by Anonymousreply 455June 5, 2021 6:15 PM

Suggest yours, Miss SmartAlec

by Anonymousreply 456June 5, 2021 7:31 PM

[quote]Suggest yours, Miss SmartAlec

I'm R437.

Take your pic sweetheart.

by Anonymousreply 457June 5, 2021 8:32 PM

good work dear

by Anonymousreply 458June 6, 2021 2:33 AM

Sequel to r129 – A REAL GAS: PART TOOT (2021): Kimber Rhodes and her husband Etienne Avoirdupois (Played by Jon Hamm, as Jen and Justin Theroux no longer communicate) juggle running a chain of Cajun-Korean fusion restaurants and raising their daughter Toby (Maisie Williams) after relocating to Minneapolis. Toby is an intelligent, imaginative child who happens to be afflicted with Tourette’s Syndrome. With medication and therapy, she does well, though whenever her parents emerge from their bedroom, Toby blurts out “Did you FUCK? COCK! Cum!?”. They manage to cope during the COVID-19 crisis, but have to deal with a surly Creole assistant chef, Beauxniqua Dereon (Tiffany Haddish) who complains about having to work late and make home deliveries. Etienne has told Beauxniqua about Kimber’s previous voodoo curse; her own grandmother was a high priestess who has taught her the black magic arts.

Kimber and Toby stop by the restaurant to pick up Etienne when the television news comes on with a breaking story; George Floyd is killed by police officer Derek Chauvin. Kimber and Etienne are horrified as they watch intently. Toby blurts out, “DEAD N——R!”. Kimber tries to reach over to clamp her hand over Toby’s mouth, falling on her face in the process. As Etienne helps her to get up on her feet, Beauxniqua is standing in the kitchen doorway, holding a knife. Etienne reaches out to grab the knife, but Beauxniqua utters a curse in an ancient Gullah dialect, “Now, Zenobia’s curse is reborn and it will strike ALL OF YOU!”…then she collapses, dead from a massive stroke. As she falls, Kimber, Etienne and Toby fart simultaneously…loudly. It also leaves a stench that permeates their masks. Even when the cops come, they have to do social distancing-and not because of the pandemic. “God, you people STINK!”, the cop (Kevin James) says before running out of the restaurant to vomit. “FAT FASCIST COP! PIG! FAT RACIST PIG!”, Toby manages to say.

Both Etienne and Kimber realize that the only person who can help them is Zenobia, the voodoo priestess in New Orleans who placed and removed the original curse from Kimber. They call her house, only to get Zenobia’s sister, Earthetta (Octavia Spencer), who tells them that Zenobia is in the hospital with COVID-19! She is not expected to live. When in between violent cars, Kimber asks Octavia if the curse can be lifted over the phone and if she can do it, Octavia says that it can only be done in person just like before. “And I don’t play that voodoo shit, you stupid racist motherfuckers!”. So they have no choice but to go to Zenobia…will they make it in time.

Breaking quarantine (and lots of wind), the trio drives down to New Orleans in a race against time, traveling on back roads to avoid the law. The crisis road trip tests their love as they bicker in between farts. Toby is bound and gagged in the back seat. “We can’t take any chances, if Toby says something stupid in front of Zenobia, we’ll be stuck with the curse forever!”, Etienne says. “My asshole is burning like a motherfucker!”. They make it into the hospital, where they are not stopped because of their stench. Kimber and Zenobia, covered by and oxygen tent, have a tender reunion, although the attending nurse is concerned about the potential fire hazard. Before she dies, Zenobia lifts the curse and they’re cured. The three of them embrace and Etienne removes Toby’s gag. “DEAD N——-R!”., Toby cheerfully chirps as Kimber and Etienne stare at her, then at each other, wide eyed…as the camera fades, there is an extremely LOUD flatulence sound.

THE END

by Anonymousreply 459June 6, 2021 2:39 AM

The sick racist OP posted this a few minutes ago:

[quote]Despite All The Focus On and Adoration of Black People... When they're not denigrating whiteness they're canonizing thugs (Jawj Flawd).

by Anonymousreply 460June 7, 2021 4:21 PM

The Troll

Josefine "Jo" Trolle (Jennifer Aniston) loves gossip and posts regularly on internet message boards and social media under the username "MeetJoeWhite" One of her favourite topics is the marriage of superstar actors Jenna Pressley (Jodie Comer) and Bobby Duffy (Theo James). Keeping her internet activities to herself, Jo maintains her successful career as the manager of a busy shooting range in Texas with her ex husband Scooter (Norman Reedus). When Jo gets a private message from user "ShootingHunk88" she indulges her new online friend with her most surreal fantasies about the Pressley Duffy marriage, not knowing "ShootingHunk88" is actually Jenna herself, filming an HBO documentary about online trolling. When Jenna heads to the shooting range to confront Jo, will be it sparks or bullets that fly?

by Anonymousreply 461June 7, 2021 5:49 PM

"THE MAN SHE LOST" Our Jennifer stars as Karen, a forever 30 something year old career girl. Her best friend and black side kick Harriet, played by Julia Roberts, are looking for "Mr Right" . He is played by Jon Hamm.

The twist is, just when you think Karen has found happiness with her new man, a counter girl at Dunkin Donuts, Oprah (her mom was a fan), played by Chrissy Metz, steals him away. This leaves our girl alone again.....

by Anonymousreply 462June 7, 2021 7:24 PM

Aniston stars as Robin Byrd, demimonde star of NYC cable access and Fire Island. This untitled dramedy follows two eventual weeks in Robin's life, mid-summer, early 1990s, that see Robin organizing an AIDS fundraiser in the Pines while accompanying one her best friends, dying of AIDS, in his final days of his life. With Joe Keery (Steve on Stranger Things) as Sandra Bernhard, and Zac Efron as the dying friend. Many many star cameos playing colorful figures in the Bang My Box studio and Robin's house on F.I.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 463June 7, 2021 9:18 PM

"Could Life BE Any More Complicated?!" (2021) - Jennifer Aniston stars as Bette Margolis, a high-powered New York real estate broker who has it all; beauty, success, a Chelsea penthouse, and recently named as one of NYC's most eligible bachelorettes.... but everything seems to crumble around her when the booming real estate market tanks overnight, leaving Bette to retreat to the small Ohio town she's from, where she runs into an old high school pal, gas station owner Stu Harrigan ('How I Met Your Mother's Josh Radnor). Over drinks, Bette and Josh realize their lives aren't so different after all and begin an intense flirtatious relationship. All signs point to Bette's settling back into her Ohio hometown after Brett helps her renovate a struggling Arby's restaurant into her new, would-be combination real estate and bakery business. That is until Bette's old flame and current New York Mayoral candidate Brian ('Desperate Housewives'" James Denton) shows-up unexpectedly to profess his long, undying love, and revealing that New York's real estate market is back on track and asking if Bette will join him on "this crazy roller coaster we call LIFE" and do him the honor of being New York City's next First Lady, further complicating Bette's life and feelings. But which direction will she choose?! In theaters November 14th!

by Anonymousreply 464June 7, 2021 9:47 PM

The Holidays are coming up!

No new treatments for Jen to go over here?

by Anonymousreply 465October 10, 2021 11:13 PM

Replacements (2023)

Jen stars as Caroline Brooksdale, a college professor mourning the deaths of her husband Simon and her teenage daughter Kara due to a fiery car crash caused by a drunk driver. Will Arnett and Kiernan Shipka play Simon and Kara in flashbacks and in dreams Caroline has throughout the movie.

Caroline moves back to her hometown in Connecticut where it's revealed that she had a baby as a teenager with her high school boyfriend Jake (Jason Bateman) and that she left Jake when it was revealed the baby daughter was blind. Scarlett Johansson plays the now grown blind daughter Christine. Caroline manages to reconnect with Jake who raised Christine by himself. But, Christine still bitter at her mother's abandonment is resentful. Will Caroline manage to replace her deceased husband and daughter with the boyfriend and blind daughter she abandoned years ago?

by Anonymousreply 466January 15, 2022 4:57 AM

PR

In this black dramedy movie, Jennifer Aniston stars as Elise Fairbanks, a high powered Hollywood publicist who must to do what she can to save the reputation of her client Kevin Washington (Donald Glover) after he slaps elderly comedian Sam Diamond (Billy Crystal) after Diamond makes fun of Washington's deaf adoptive mother Rebecca played by Marlee Matlin at an awards show. Elise knows many have it out for her client for hitting an elderly man, but some deaf community applaud Kevin for defending his mother.

by Anonymousreply 467April 3, 2022 1:08 AM

r4, me 2. no Weinstein.

by Anonymousreply 468April 3, 2022 4:01 AM

Black Tykes Matter

Jen plays Mckenzie Baker a hard-working 33-year-old actress who is dying to get married and have kids. When her cad of a boyfriend (Tom Hardy) leaves her, she decides to set out on her own and become a single mother, adopting a Sudanese orphan. Starring Catherine Zeta-Jones as the heroine's best friend, a wise-cracking 27-year-old British model

by Anonymousreply 469June 13, 2022 12:49 AM

Ukraine You Saw, You Conquered

Jen plays Destiny Hughes, a news correspondence stationed in Ukraine who falls for a sexy Ukrainian freedom fighter (Alexander Skarsgard). Featuring Luke Evans as her gay bff, a correspondent for a right-wing news channel who is in the closet for career reasons

by Anonymousreply 470June 13, 2022 1:16 AM

Jen's Oscar bait film, "Oh Ashley: The Ashli Babbitt Story" - In this biopic Jen plays Ashli from childhood right up until the moment she got a bullet in the head. Featuring Glenn Close gunning for an Oscar again as Ashli's white trash mother. Also gunning for an Oscar is Bryan Cranston in a fatsuit as Donald Trump. Co-starring Rebecca Hall as Ivanka and Joseph Gordon Levitt as Jared, with Judy Greer as a mentally unstable QAnon follower who falls for the ghost of JFK Jr (Matt Bomer). With Trace Adkins as Proud Boy #1

by Anonymousreply 471June 13, 2022 1:26 AM

She Bangs - Jennifer plays high-powered 32-year-old entertainment reporter Miranda Bangs. While working on a story about a retired 70s rocker (Harrison Ford) accused of abusing women, she breaks up with her boyfriend, her much-older mentor (Colin Firth). Slowly, she begins to fall for a hip young director (Richard Madden) who is closer to her own age

by Anonymousreply 472June 13, 2022 2:35 AM

Losing My Religion

A church secretary and high school English teacher discovers her pastor husband's been cheating in this hilarious satire of feel good movies.

by Anonymousreply 473June 13, 2022 2:41 AM

r473

by Anonymousreply 474June 13, 2022 3:05 AM

Who plays the pastor husband in the R473 movie?

by Anonymousreply 475June 13, 2022 3:09 AM

Will Ferrell in playing against type, Oscar Bait. The movie will be satire but not outright parody. The overall tone comedy with dramatic parts. This year's Little Miss Sunshine.

by Anonymousreply 476June 13, 2022 3:21 AM

I had to recheck the dates of r469 and 472 because this thread was created nearly 10 years ago. What makes yall think Jen can still play someone in their early 30s.

by Anonymousreply 477June 13, 2022 3:23 AM

R466, why would a English professor leave her husband and abandon her child because she is blind. So she was on meth or was a junkie 20 years ago?

by Anonymousreply 478June 13, 2022 3:26 AM

R477 It's a running joke in the thread.

by Anonymousreply 479June 13, 2022 3:38 AM

[quote] Judy Greer as a mentally unstable QAnon follower who falls for the ghost of JFK Jr (Matt Bomer).

I now want a movie to filmed with this subplot.

by Anonymousreply 480June 13, 2022 4:12 AM

R471 needs to be green-lit!!!!

Ashli was in her 30s, right?

by Anonymousreply 481June 13, 2022 12:34 PM

Drag Queen Story

Jennifer Aniston plays Oksana Kovalenko, a Ukrainian superstar singer (vocals by Loren Allred) who flees her country when the Russians invade. Finding refuge in New York City with her old make up artists Pasha (Matt Bomer) she looks for work in the arts but is continually rejected, before seeing an advert for drag queens to read stories in schools and libraries. Oksana and Pasha create the drag persona of Little Odessa and Oksana becomes a huge success in New York schools, attracting the attention of Principal Harvey Proctor (Richard Madden) who is confused by his attraction to a drag queen when he is a white heterosexual cisman.

Waiting in the wings to throw a spanner in the works is bitter and jaded drag queen Kitty Litter (Elliot Page) who is determined to usurp Oksana.

Featuring Laverne Cox as Oksana's sassy best friend and a rare cameo from Debra Winger the grandmother of a blind child who Oksana helps to learn to read braille.

by Anonymousreply 482June 13, 2022 1:13 PM

R482, you forgot Oksana's age.

by Anonymousreply 483June 13, 2022 1:32 PM

[quote] Featuring Laverne Cox as Oksana's sassy best friend and a rare cameo from Debra Winger the grandmother of a blind child who Oksana helps to learn to read braille.

Debra Winger will drop out halfway through filming and will be replaced by Geena Davis.

by Anonymousreply 484June 14, 2022 6:20 PM

Cruisegirl

Jennifer Aniston plays a twice divorced, kooky cruise director who falls in love with the ship's captain, played by the irritable yet commanding Adam Sandler. In-between trading lustful and longing looks with Aniston, Sandler offers up his body as target practice for goofy antics that has the entire theater roaring. As the majestic cruise liner sails from port to port, Aniston's facial lines deepen as she and Sandler trade quips, life stories, and random golf balls to the crotch. Chuck in a whacky bartender, a cute kid just trying to find his way home (a stowaway with great floppy hair, ofc), and this Love Boat on the big screen will enthrall one and all. Can Sandler overcome his fear of overly tanned females? Can Aniston open her bitter heart once more? You know the answer! Complete with bad weather, fizzy drinks, and scenic vistas.

by Anonymousreply 485June 14, 2022 6:27 PM

IS some screenwriter posting this to get ideas? Better give us all a cut!

by Anonymousreply 486June 14, 2022 6:31 PM

From Callgirl to Congress - starring Jen as Lauren Boebert. Jen will play Lauren from age 14 to the present. Co-starring the Geico Caveman as Marjorie Taylor Greene and a bag of diarrhea as Ted Cruz.

by Anonymousreply 487June 14, 2022 6:44 PM

Loved this thread. I wrote R365. Can't believe Feldman is still breathing

by Anonymousreply 488June 14, 2022 7:27 PM

I love this thread and the Let's cast "Oscar Bait: The Movie" thread.

by Anonymousreply 489June 15, 2022 3:51 AM

Here Comes the Groomer - Jen plays Candy Grant, a "concerned" Texas mom who pickets the local Pride parade until she discovers one of the drag queens there is.....her own husband (Paul Rudd).

by Anonymousreply 490June 18, 2022 11:18 PM

R490 that is fucking brilliant.

by Anonymousreply 491June 26, 2022 3:12 PM

Crossing the Lines

In an Oscar bait attempt, Jen stars as Hannah Johnson a pro-choice activist living in New Mexico who decides to assist in women from neighboring to come into the state for abortions and she hosts them in her stylish adobe ranch type home. Also starring Margot Robbie as an anti-choice activist Kara Bloom who pickets the Albuquerque abortion clinic and tries to get Hannah in trouble for providing lodging to women from neighboring states. Diane Keaton is Jessica Scott an aging pro-choice activist who is close mentor of Hannah and she reveals to Hannah that she's dying of terminal cancer. Chloe Grace Mortez stars as Kyleigh Ann, a Texas college student who arrives at Hannah's home to abort her pregnancy. Christoph Waltz as abortion doctor Sam Tepper, Frances McDormand as his long time head nurse Sheila, and Mark Ruffalo as David Hampton, a former abortion doctor. David became a quadriplegic due to mountain biking accident in Taos and now acts as a counselor at Sam's clinic and there he meets Hannah. Hannah finds herself falling in love with David even though he's a quadriplegic.

by Anonymousreply 492June 30, 2022 5:03 PM

QAwful - follows the wacky adventures of 20-something White House staffer Cassidy Hutchinson (played by Jen!) as she deals with the temper tantrums of President Donald Trump (channeling Robert De Niro in Raging Bull Matt Damon gained 80 pounds to play this role)

by Anonymousreply 493June 30, 2022 5:17 PM

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha: The Marsha Blackburn Story. Co-starring Clint Eastwood as Chuck Grassley, Harrison Ford as Joe Biden, and Ryan Gosling ad Josh Hawley

by Anonymousreply 494July 18, 2022 1:52 AM

"A Friend" (2022)- A lonely recluse (Jennifer Aniston) takes a Greyhound from Pennsylvania for Hollywood, hoping to meet her "friends"- the cast of the long-running TV sitcom. Her mother (Kathy Bates) becomes alarmed and hires a seedy private detective (John Goodman) to help find her. Directed by Sofia Coppola.

by Anonymousreply 495July 18, 2022 2:02 AM

NOT WITHOUT MY FETUS (2022) - Jennifer Anniston stars as a 40ish woman, pregnant from an affair with a man who is not her husband. Cecily Crenshaw, an Ohio amusement park litter patrol custodian, gives into passion with a much younger man, while her husband (played by Jon Hamm) suffers the loss of his manhood, after a tractor collapses on top of him. A harrowing journey from Tipp City, Ohio to New York City, where Cecily can get an abortion, ensues. Pursued by the Sherriff(Garth Brooks, in a breakout performance), Cecily and her younger lover, Tan (BTS's Jimin) race against the odds, bloodhounds, sirens and her husband's bitter lesbian sister(Andrea Martin). Rated R.

by Anonymousreply 496July 18, 2022 3:41 AM

Mother May I Sleep With Moron?: The Ginger Luckey Gaetz Story. With Seth Rogen as Matt Gaetz.

by Anonymousreply 497August 23, 2022 8:53 PM

The Stepmom

Jennifer Aniston stars as Tracey Alexander, a fashion magazine editor who returns to her hometown to find out that their mother Evelyn (Holland Taylor) is a late in lesbian and is engaged to her girlfriend Jessica (Sarah Paulson). Tracey and Jessica instantly hate each other. Can they overcome their differences for the sake of Evelyn?

by Anonymousreply 498September 4, 2022 4:33 PM

Lake of Fire: The Kari Lake Story. Starring Jen as Arizona's favorite crazy lady.

by Anonymousreply 499November 6, 2022 4:20 AM

I'm still laughing at this thread. I never thought I'd be burning to watch a Jennifer Aniston movie, but I'd binge-watch these gems back-to-back.

by Anonymousreply 500November 7, 2022 3:55 AM

Jennifer stars as Amy Robach in Morning Affair. Michael Ealy co-stars as T.J. Holmes.

by Anonymousreply 501December 12, 2022 5:49 AM

This is one of the longest running threads I've seen not get shut down before reaching 600 comments. It's literally ten years old. Which brings me to her next flick,

"Literally 10 years ago", Jan feels like she if only she could go back in time before she chose her to marry her cheating husband, turn down the job promotion in Aspen, and remain a Long Island suburban housewife /freelance writer whose youngest has just gone off to college. In this Freaky Friday scenario she gets to go back 10 years and make the right decisions. But she also creates a wormhole in time, that if she doesn't get right and make tge correct decisions can literally wipe humanity off the face of the planet.

by Anonymousreply 502December 12, 2022 5:55 AM

R501 Tyler Perry is definetly working up a film that will be inspired this. Watch.

by Anonymousreply 503December 12, 2022 5:57 AM

I don't know who the OP pissed off, he appears lined out to me but I love that he started this thread.

by Anonymousreply 504December 12, 2022 5:58 AM

My favourite detail about R1 every time this thread pops up is how Jen Anniston’s character has the same last name as her celebutante BFF and it’s never commented on.

by Anonymousreply 505December 12, 2022 6:07 AM

This thread is fucking hilarious!

[quote]Featuring a hilarious cameo from Wanda Sykes a a Rwandan survivor of gang rape.

Oh, god, I am so going to hell for how much I laughed when I read this.

Of course, Wanda's talents will be totally wasted in this film and she will be reduced to turning up occasionally to "tell it like it is", while pulling a "crazy-ass white girl!" expression at whatever pratfalls Jennifer's character is engaging in at that moment.

by Anonymousreply 506December 12, 2022 9:26 AM

[bold]DING DONG![/bold]

Shirley Curtainbroth (Jennifer Aniston) is a pre-menopausal spinster who becomes internet-famous—and irresistible to Gen Z twunks—after creating an account on a hot new viral-video app. Co-starring Ansel Elgort as influencer/Ding Dong superstar Connor Shufflebottom.

by Anonymousreply 507December 12, 2022 9:39 AM

I am not pre-menopausal or a spinster! I just turned 34.

by Anonymousreply 508December 12, 2022 6:01 PM

[quote] Lake of Fire: The Kari Lake Story. Starring Jen as Arizona's favorite crazy lady

I could see this happening or Jen will find some other Oscar bait type role involving another conservative nutcase. Maybe, she'd be desperate enough to play Marjorie Taylor Greene in a movie with the use of a wig and prosthetics.

by Anonymousreply 509December 12, 2022 9:03 PM

FAG thread.

by Anonymousreply 510December 22, 2022 3:28 PM

"Back to Where You Once Belonged"

Jojo Samuels (Jennifer Aniston) is the founder of Parties By Jojo, a high-end party planning and catering firm known all over Austin, Texas. But she has a competitor and enemy, Ruthann Staples (Kathryn Hahn), who's been making inroads in the market. Trying to keep up with Ruthann, poor Jojo is overspending, dipping into her savings, and making less and less of a profit, all to ensure Parties By Jojo is "the" party planner in town.

Uh-oh — her hated ex-husband Richard (Adam Scott) contacts Jojo and wants her to put on a party for his much younger trophy wife Tasha (Sydney Sweeney) at his sprawling new home outside of town — since they've been apart, Richard has struck it big in the software field. Appalled, Jojo turns him down — only to have him counter that if Jojo doesn't do it, Ruthann will!

Desperate to keep her business going, poor Jojo and her assistant Walter (Bowen Yang) throw all their energy into planning a party like nothing Austin has ever seen for Tasha. But on the big day, the guests are there — but the tents, the tables, the chairs, and the food are not. Neither is Walter — and Jojo discovers he's secretly been working for Ruthann the whole time.

Her business and her reputation in ruins, Jojo considers leaving Austin. But Tasha has a plan to rebuild, if Jojo will take her on as a partner — and that's when Jojo learns that first and second wives have a lot in common.

Theme: "You Can Be the Boss" by Lana del Rey

by Anonymousreply 511January 19, 2023 2:57 AM

"Maybe December" (2023)- Jennifer Aniston plays Randee Bullard, a frumpy, thrice-divorced cashier living in the Texas outback in a trailer with her mother (Shelley Duvall). When she does cpr and saves a mysterious old customer, she is asked her dearest wish. It is to travel back in time to when she was young, pretty and in love with her h.s. sweetheart (Timothee Chalamet). The next morning she wakes-up in 1984. Naomi: Helena Bonham Carter. Catalina: Salma Hayek

by Anonymousreply 512January 19, 2023 3:43 AM

Dismemberment of a Marriage- Jennifer Aniston stars as Ana Walshe and Ben Affleck in a fat suit and prosthetics play Brian Walshe. Missing White Woman explores the media's in depth coverage of upper middle class white women combined with insight into Brian and Ana's marriage.

Reese Witherspoon, Malin Ackerman, Amanda Peete play Ana's upper middle class frau friends who all compete to land media interviews.

by Anonymousreply 513January 19, 2023 7:22 PM

Christchurch- In this Oscar bait drama, Jennifer with use of prosthetic ears plays Jacinda Arden set in the aftermath of the Christchurch mosque shootings.

by Anonymousreply 514January 21, 2023 2:54 AM

This sounds like something from this thread

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 515January 30, 2023 1:06 AM

I remember this thread. So funny. And yes the Julia-Jennifer face swap or body swap or husband swap or ego swap makes this thread the perfect call back.

by Anonymousreply 516January 30, 2023 1:26 AM

Rainbow Atonement

In this drama. Jennifer stars as Tara Lee Moore, a conservative Christian mom whose estranged Proud Boy son Adam (Nick Robinson) is imprisoned after committing a brutal beating on a lesbian journalist Kris Abrams (Kate McKinnon) at a BLM rally in Portland. To atone for her son's actions, Tara moves from Alabama to Oregon and begins hanging out at local LGBT community center tutoring teens kicked out of their homes and making friends with gay and lesbian adults played by Lena Waithe, Billy Eichner, Ben Platt, and Kristen Stewart who also volunteer at the center. Tara learns to accept gays and lesbians. But, things become complicated when lesbian lawyer Beth Harvey (Jessica Chastain) who is the girlfriend of Kris finds out Tara's connection to Adam. Beth still better at the fact that her girlfriend Kris is disabled from the beating threatens to expose Tara to the community center.

Also featuring Clea DuVall as a prison chaplain who helps Tara reconcile with her son. Cyndi Lauper as herself in a scene towards the end of the movie at a fundraiser for the Trevor Project.

by Anonymousreply 517May 31, 2023 12:06 AM

Sorry, r51, if Ian Ziering isn't playing neighborhood teen good ball then I shall not see your little movie!

by Anonymousreply 518May 31, 2023 12:28 AM

An Ocean of Love

Jen plays the wife of one of the men on the Titan submarine, who prays for his miraculous return. Octavia Spencer plays her sassy maid.

by Anonymousreply 519June 22, 2023 2:36 AM

What a throw back thread! I spotted one of my posts from over 10 years ago.

by Anonymousreply 520June 22, 2023 4:53 AM

Good job, r517.

by Anonymousreply 521August 13, 2023 12:37 AM

Wowed in Maui

Jen plays a 26-year-old cub reporter who covers the Maui fire. There she falls in love with a handsome firefighter (Chris Pratt). Co-starring Mel Gibson and Jim Caviezel as Westboro Baptist Church members who claim that God destroyed Hawaii because of the gays!

by Anonymousreply 522August 13, 2023 12:43 AM

Big Gretch

-With the help of a wig the help of a wig and prosthetics, Jen takes on the role of Gretchen Whitmer. Co-starring Abigail Breslin as Whitmer's fat lesbian daughter.

by Anonymousreply 523October 14, 2023 2:04 AM

Podium of Shame - starring Jen (who gained 60 pounds for the role a la Robert DeNiro in raging Bull) as Sarah Huckabee Sanders

by Anonymousreply 524October 14, 2023 2:25 AM

I wanted to create a Jen Aniston film with all you guys but I kept falling asleep.

Sorry.

by Anonymousreply 525October 14, 2023 2:38 AM

I’m gonna use my Jennifer Aniston voice!

by Anonymousreply 526October 14, 2023 2:38 AM

Thanks for Nothing

A Thanksgiving Movie and black comedy.

Tig Nataro and Jennifer Aniston have been improbable BFF's since their freshman year at Brown over 30 years ago. Jennifer is a drop dead chic man eater, Tig a limousine-liberal anti-sensual lesbian control freak. Yet they share caustic wits, and are snarky, impatient, controlling, and mischievous. Born and raised extremely rich, they each have razored through several careers and relationships and their "friends" are mostly employees and service people, along with family and frenemies they more or less pay to stick around. Everything comes to a head on Tig's vast organic vineyard estate, which may also be headquarters for a non-binary cult that has been radicalized by a true Marxist out to finally bite the hand that feeds.

by Anonymousreply 527October 14, 2023 3:07 AM

So... basically a documentary then, R527?

by Anonymousreply 528October 16, 2023 7:22 PM

I play her chic hairstyle “The Rachel"

by Anonymousreply 529October 16, 2023 11:24 PM

Redemption (2027) Jen stars as Tiffany Amberson, an actress dealing with the death of her former co-star while also dealing with brain cancer diagnosis.

by Anonymousreply 530November 6, 2023 9:28 PM

"Double Booked" (2024) - Jennifer Aniston stars as Fiona Reed, a meticulous librarian from a small town, who embarks on a much-needed vacation to sunny Miami. Her plans for a peaceful retreat are hilariously upended when she discovers her travel agency has mistakenly booked her into the same luxury suite as Tyler Drake (Channing Tatum), a laid-back surf instructor with a penchant for adventure.

Their contrasting personalities clash spectacularly, with Fiona's orderly world colliding with Tyler's spontaneous lifestyle. Despite initial mishaps and misunderstandings, sparks fly as they're forced to share their opulent, yet confined space. The situation turns uproarious when they both decide to play matchmaker for each other, leading to a series of comical dates and misunderstandings.

As they navigate the chaos they've created, Fiona and Tyler unexpectedly find themselves drawn to each other. But just as romance blossoms, Fiona's ex-fiancé (played by Ryan Reynolds) shows up, determined to win her back. Set against the vibrant backdrop of Miami's beaches and nightlife, "Double Booked" is a heartwarming and hilarious tale of unexpected love, the joy of serendipity, and the magic that happens when life doesn’t go according to plan.

by Anonymousreply 531November 6, 2023 9:44 PM

LOL I wrote this 2 and a half years ago

[quote]*Ezra Miller's scenes may be removed, depending on whether he attacks another woman.

by Anonymousreply 532November 6, 2023 9:51 PM

Temptation Eyes - Jen plays Kelly Johnson, wife of Speaker of the House Mike Johnson (Paul Rudd). She is troubled when she finds out her husband and her son (Dylan Geick) have been using the Covenant Eyes porn monitoring app. She goes through their phones and finds out that they've both been watching porn starring well-hung black men

by Anonymousreply 533November 6, 2023 10:15 PM

I always love seeing this thread pop up.

There are some very good movie ideas here!

by Anonymousreply 534November 6, 2023 10:19 PM

R534 Thanks Jen!

by Anonymousreply 535November 6, 2023 10:52 PM

remake of 'The Childrens Hour' - the one with Shirley McClain and Audrey Hepburn as school teachers accused of being Lesbians. But stunt casting with Jen and Angelina Jolie

by Anonymousreply 536November 6, 2023 11:13 PM

In "Surprise Anal," Jennifer stars as Karen, a spinster who volunteers reading for the blind on Friday and Saturday nights. One day she falls asleep at the blindness center and is awoken by a ghost performing surprise anal on her. She is initially uncomfortable but the more it happens, the more she relaxes and realizes she loves surprise anal! Because the clients at the blind center can’t see anything, she engages in a variety of poses and sex acts with the ghost ALL DAY LONG to humorous effect. This film stars Jon Hamm as Henry the ghost, Viola Davis as Marvel, a blind patient who believes Henry is real because she also enjoyed anal sex with Henry, and Mary Steenburgen as Kay, the director of the blindness center who won’t believe Marvel or Karen. This film is rated PG-13 for suggested sexual activity but is truly recommended for all American children and is destined to become a holiday favorite.

by Anonymousreply 537November 6, 2023 11:30 PM

Poster Girl

Laney Cohen (Aniston) has it all - a chain of upmarket boutique coffee shops and a beautiful family. As Laney is preparing for the 20th anniversary party to celebrate her first boutique coffee shop opening she gets a call from the media - her non binary AFAB child Melissa "Mel" (they/them) (Emma Corrin) and Laney's partner Kunti (zig/zag) (Sara Ramirez) have been filmed ripping down posters of Israeli hostages. Mel and Kunti both work for Laney's company and Laney has a choice to defend her repulsive child or show some basic human decency and fire they/them both.

Things get complicated when Laney's current partner Joachim von Ackermann (Mark Ruffalo) tries to persuade her Mel and Kunti were fighting the Zionist media, and she meets journalist Ari Eden (Tomer Capone) who is covering the story for Israeli tv and who is the uncle of 2 kidnapped children.

Featuring Laverne Cox as a sassy crisis management executive, Eli Roth as an online campaigner against antisemitism and Susan Sarandon as a foul mouthed racist latte lover who tells Ari "I don't like froth on my coffee and I don't like JEWS" and "You know I never liked Hitler, how can you respect a man who doesn't like coffee?"

by Anonymousreply 538November 7, 2023 7:31 AM

Checking Out!

Retail executive Miranda "Missy" Knox is a tough talking wheeling dealing retail executive who has been hired by upper range Rosewaite Supermarkets to revamp their image and stop their financial losses. Her mission from Rosewaite CEO Giles Hudson (Dominic West) is to focus on profits before people and he asks Missy to go "undercover" in one of the stores.

Starting as a checkout girl in Mayville store, Missy soon strikes up a friendship with Bernie (Kate Winslet) and her daughters Colleen (Emma Corrin) and Linda (Florence Pugh) and enjoys a flirtation with store manager Ronan (Eddie Redmayne)

When Missy files her interim recommendations she is taken aback when Giles decides to implement them immediately, announcing all check out staff will lose their jobs except for one person who will become a "self service supervisor". Missy watches on as Bernie, Colleen and Linda contemplate having to give up their trailer park homes and Ronan worries about who to give the job to.

Things get even more complex when local activist Mike Branson (Ian McKellen) gets wind of the plans and creates a Queers Against Self Service pressure group to force Rosewaite to change their plans.

by Anonymousreply 539November 11, 2023 2:21 PM

From Russia, With a Can of Whoop-Ass -

Jen plays the heartbroken wife of a Russian dissident who died under "mysterious circumstances"....after a period of depression, she goes rogue and decides to start kicking ass. Special cameo by Stellan Skarsgård as Vladimir Putin

by Anonymousreply 540February 17, 2024 3:32 AM

"One Good Year" (2025)- Jen stars as Cara Wayne Tucker, a poor, abused Texas woman who went to prison for drowning her six kids. She escapes by seducing an oafish guard (Jason Aldean) and goes on the run, eventually joining a commune run by a charismatic leader (Jared Leto). Cara thrives in the cult, working hard on the land and learning about herself and life. But a celebrity bounty hunter (John Goodman) is on her trail, threatening to erase her... one good year. Also starring Miley Cyrus as Cricket, and Shelley Duvall as Mamaw.

by Anonymousreply 541February 17, 2024 4:53 AM

Aw, this is a legendary thread and it should not be greyed out.

by Anonymousreply 542February 17, 2024 12:44 PM
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