Best Dating Websites for Middle-Aged Gays to Meet Younger Ones
I am 45, not quite elder-gay but definitely middle-aged (in the truest sense, since I expect to live to be 90, at least). I am attracted to guys in the 28-38 range. I am most definitely not looking to be a sugar daddy or any kind of daddy for that matter. Basically, I just like younger guys. Are there any dating websites geared toward this demographic, preferably one that isn't promoting a fetish, like silver daddy or bears, etc.?
Daddyhunt is good. Scruff also is for older guys into younger guys.
Doll, in gay years you're not just an eldergay you're pretty much in God's waiting room. Either you pony up with the cash, or settle for some schlub with a daddy complex. Otherwise, date someone your own age (I know, God forbid).
"Basically, I just like younger guys."
Basically, I'm just judging you.
The address does not work R2. Is there another spelling?
Give it up OP. Stick with old men like yourself. No young guy wants you unless you're rich.
[quote]date someone your own age (I know, God forbid)
I'm 46 and would actually be thrilled to date someone my own age; unfortunately, it seems all the guys my age want 20-year-olds.
[quote]I am most definitely not looking to be a sugar daddy or any kind of daddy for that matter.
[quote]...preferably one that isn't promoting a fetish, like silver daddy or bears, etc.?
What exactly is it then, OP, that would interest any of us in one of you?
I can't imagine how a site geared toward the old/young combo would attract anyone other than pervs and golddiggers.
OP, why not try your luck on a "normal" dating site and include your preference in your profile?
You know this is only going to result in a story about a glory hole and someone seeing his father leave the next booth.
Silverdaddies.com is actually pretty good.
Because it's cheaper to rent, than own.
I'm 41, and while I prefer to date my own age, I've occasionally hooked up with a guys in their 20's, and met them on Adam4Adam.
No, I'm not wealthy, but have a big dick.
^^Oh Dearing myself for 'a guys'.
If you're middle aged and not into guys your own age, should you become celibate?
[quote]If you're middle aged and not into guys your own age, should you become celibate?
No, R16, but I think some examination about 'not into guys my own age' is warranted.
I know lots of guys my age (40s) who are hung up on the idea that they want a 20-something boyfriend. It's just not a reasonable demand...and when I dig deeper I see that they are stunted emotionally in some way, and never had that 'perfect boyfriend' when THEY were in their 20's...and can't move on from that until they get some young twink to fall in love with them.
But, they tell themselves they are 'just attracted to younger guys' and they don't dig any deeper than that. That's usually why, though.
Why do eldergays expect young guys to go for them when they won't go for their own counterparts?
R18 again...I meant to add that hooking up with younger guys is a whole 'nother story.
Lots of young guys like older guys with big dicks, and good conversation/maturity. There IS a market for dating and sex. But it's unreasonable to believe we, at 40 something, can get ourselves a very young RELIABLE boyfriend. It's silly to dream for that.
It does happen occasionally, and it isn't always due to money...but it's RARE.
Most older guys would do well to think about WHY they are attracted to what they are attracted to.
It sucks for me, at 41, because most guys my own age whom I try to date are hung up on much younger or older...and don't stay in their age range. I've always been one to seek out men for relationships who have been on earth about as long as I have, because that's where the most comfort and commonality can occur with a stranger.
As a 40 something myself, I can't imagine anything worse than dating a 25 year old. You may not gain wisdom with age, but you at least get some perspective about life.
I guess I'm kind of in the same position as OP. I don't know if it's because I didn't have a relationship in my 20s or because the younger guys have the look that attracts me -- not many guys in their 40s can pull off the hipster look and not appear ridiculous.
Lez here. Yes, despised by DL.
Straight men and gay men want younger partners, obsess about younger partners, and pay through the sphincter for younger partners.
Dykes do not have a "silvermommy" equivalent. Gay women can try to date at all ages without being jeered at. It's nice not to live without the strain.
R21- I agree with you.
I don't want a 25 year old.
I want a 30 year old.
R23 So how do you explain Linda Perry?
I'd second the recommendation of R11. Worked for me.
I’m now in my mid-50s, and I had a partner for almost 20 years until he died a few years ago. I then realized that dating as a 50-year-old was going to be a lot more difficult than when I was 30 for a variety of reasons, including (a) there just aren’t as many guys in my age group; and (b) a lot of them are already partnered.
I also noticed that many – [bold]not all,[/bold] but many – of the ones who are available:
(1) only want to date guys who are in their 20s and early 30s;
(2) have never been in a long-term relationship; if you are in your 50s, and you have never had a relationship that lasted longer than a few dates or a few months, that could be a real problem;
(3) just gave up on themselves, i.e., decided that they no longer had to take care of how they look (as in they don’t go near a gym and make exceptionally poor eating choices), and complain about their “ailments” as if they are 85 and in a nursing home;
(4) are either just plain weird or have a harsh, bitter, jaded edge that is really unpleasant to be around.
OK, that leaves a fairly slim dating pool. As I said, slim, but not nonexistent, so, hope springs eternal. I’m very involved in the community, have a lot of friends and a fantastic dog, and never lack for things to do or people to do them with. If the right guy comes along, that is great. If not, eh.
Oh, and W&W for R12.
Well shit. For (1), (2), (3), *AND* (4)... I'm guilty as charged.
I'm 46 and into guys 18-25. Everyone has their preferences, nothing wrong with it.
OP, I'm 49, I have no particular interest in guys in their 20s or even their 30s for the most part, but I'm on Scruff and I'm constantly getting messages, woofs, etc., from guys in their 20s - much more than any other age bracket. It's a little annoying to me, but anyway it happens so you might as well try.
Look OP, find someone your own age. If you plan to visit the daddy sites that are recommended here, you'd better beef up your bank account. Because younger guys looking for older men are looking for someone to take care of them. Or, in the short term, buy them things and take them on trips. They don't want to date guys their own age because, in the words of a friend of mine, they don't want to just "sit home every night, watch tv and fuck". They want a daddy to pay for them to go out.
If you're smart you'll get over your crisis and look for guys your own age. Otherwise expect to get used.
I'm 85 and will only date 18-25 yr. olds. I find that having them over for a nice oatmeal dinner is lure enough.
I'm 35, when I was in my 20s I couldn't get a date at all. Not even so much as a glance from a 1000 people in a room. It gave me a real complex and induced a crippling shyness in me.
Now I get hit on all the time by guys and girls in the 20s. I can't believe. A few times I've had girls take pictures of me on their phones while just walking down the street.
It's crazy. I don't get what happened in the space of 3 years. I'm still really shy so I never let it go to my head or take it seriously.
R11, Silverdaddies.com seems to be geared toward eldergays in their 50's and 60's...what about for guys in their 40's?
Oh give it a rest, R18. Sounds like you're making your own excuses. It's so boring when people generalise about everyone else. The flip side of your story is that nobody wants you. Yes, there must be something wrong with everybody else, not you.
[quote]Either you pony up with the cash, or settle for some schlub with a daddy complex.
I don't think the daddy thing is all that rare. I dated a younger guy who definitely felt that way. We worked together so I certainly wasn't giving him money--we made about the same.
Though there weren't that many years difference between us, it sort of bothered me. Maybe because he was sort of immature which made me feel even older. We talked about the age difference once and he said he thought it was hot. And he went on to say it would be even hotter if I were in my 30s or 40s !!??
Usually men are at their most handsome from 28 to 38.
45 is not middle aged.
The Average American male lives to 72 today, that means middle aged is 36.
I'm 30 years old and have been seeing a 44 year old guy for about 10 months. I have to say that it's been really great. I know there are guys my age who prefer older men, and not necessarily just for money. The problem, though, is that such guys are often shy - practically homebodies - so they're hard to find.
In my opinion, what's attractive in a guy in his 40s or older is that he's more likely to have his shit together, personally and professionally. The guy I've been seeing is financially secure (relatively well-off, but certainly not rich). He's led a pretty full life and has experienced a lot, which means he has good stories to tell and helpful advice to give. He also has many equally interesting friends. The fact that he's been to just about every bar and restaurant in the city means he is now perfectly content spending a quiet evening at home, which suits me just fine. I feel very fortunate because I've found someone who's mature, responsible, dependable, and considerate. I, and others my age who are like me, find those qualities very attractive, and an older man is likelier to possess them.
I'm 44, but look 34, thanks to very good genetics and a healthy lifestyle, and I attract mostly guys in their mid 20s looking for someone a little older. When I finally tell them the truth--that I'm old enough to be their father--they don't really care. They see me as a slightly older contemporary, as one of their peers. Being gay, if I was cursed to appear anywhere near my chronological age, I'd probably end it here and now LOLZ.
yea r46 and you will be 45 on your birthday- It changes nothing and when you are 55 you will look 45-. So what you are saying you only have ten years left to live beacuse you are so shallow that you think if you look 45 - Its not worth living? You better get a handle on your old age now or you are in for a shock. Wake Up and stop looking at the Mirror!
[quote]I'm 44, but look 34, thanks to very good genetics and a healthy lifestyle
Oh, dear - another eldergay trying to convince themselves they look 10 years younger than they are. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that one...
Face it - you're old
[quote]I attract mostly guys in their mid 20s looking for someone a little older. When I finally tell them the truth--that I'm old enough to be their father--they don't really care. They see me as a slightly older contemporary, as one of their peers.
BWAH HA HA HAHA HAHAHA HAHA HA HA HAHAHA HA HA!!!
God, some of you self-deluded Marys crack me up!
It's actually true. I've gotten enough gasps and "no way, bitch!" comments when I mention that I'm 44 to know that it's true. I'm not delusional enough to think I look early-mid 20s, but I can pass for a good 10 years younger. I've always looked a lot younger than I am. Guys in their 20s and 30s see me as one of their contempories. It's a great thing not to look your age in the gay world, and I'm going to milk my great genetics as long as I can.
There's nothing tragic about being fifty. Not unless you're trying to be twenty-five.
Who are these middled aged guys still on the prowl for dick?
I'm 60. I have a full time job, and I have my own small business on the side. I work out 4-5 days a week to stay in decent shape. On weekends, I do work around the house, laundry, food shopping, errands, gardening, etc.
Who has the time or energy to go out? At this point in my life, getting a good night's sleep (alone) is paramount.
This reminds me of my friend Chris. He's 51, smart and mostly friendly, but also out-of-shape and with shaky finances (big overspender).
His favorite topic is whining about how lonely he is. I've known him 16 years, and in all that time have not known him to go out on a single date. I can't even say for sure he's ever hooked up or had sex of any kind since I've known him. I don't think he's a virgin, but it wouldn't be shocking to find out he is (he says he is not).
Anyway, this thread reminds me of him because he says he is only attracted to guys in their 20s! That's who he wants a relationship with! Worse, I think he likes 21-year olds who look 15. He's turned down dates, just plain old casual dates, from perfectly reasonable guys who would be age appropriate. Why? "Oh I would never be interested in that old thing." Nevermind that he is talking about handsome guys who are five and ten years younger than him, and who in all likelihood are themselves out of his league.
Nice guy, and a good friend, but whenever we get to this topic and he falls into his self-pity routine I want to strangle him.
[quote] Basically, I just like younger guys
Wow. It's really unusual for males to like younger partners (male or female). You never hear of men dumping someone for a younger version, or of ugly old rich men getting young handome men or women.
I'm 60 and as I posted a while ago, my boyfriend is 26. We have a great time together. People keep saying, but what will you do in 15 years when you're 75 and he's 41.
I answer, how many of you know gay relationships that have lasted 15 years?
That shuts them up.
I'm with you r46, II have the same kind of genetics and healthy lifestyle that keep me looking at least 10 years younger...it just runs in my family. Don't worry about the jealous haters like r48 just enjoy it like I do. And yes, I can relate to being considered a slightly older contemporary to younger guys.
Question...how and when do you go about "finally telling them the truth"?
I used to be very hesitant about revealing my age, because the shocked reactions made me feel a little self-conscious. Now I'm just used to them and laugh them off. Like you, r56, being young just runs in my family. My brother is 33 and looks early/mid 20s. Sister is 40 and can easily pass for 30. Mom is 70 and looks early/mid 50s. It's just good genetics and good nutrition/diet/exercise. Our mental/psychological genetics are terrible LOL (depression & anxiety issues for every one of us), but we're holding up pretty well physically. Could care less if anyone else believes me. Like I said, I'm not delusional to believe I look mid-20s (though in some very dark clubs, I have gotten that LOL), but I definitely looks early/mid 30s.
R53, I think we know the same guy. But of course there are certainly many like him...
[quote]Are there any dating websites geared toward this demographic?
Yes. Unfortunately for you, you'll be competing with 10,000 other eldergays for about 5 twinks.
No r20, they are just into younger - not older. Be honest. Unless they are looking for a wallet, they turn their noses up at older men.
[quote]R53 I think we know the same guy. But of course there are certainly many like him...
Ah, yes. There are many who fall into this category. I have a friend who is now in his late 50s. I haven't really spoken to him for a number of years, but when he was in his 40s he was always pining away for some gorgeous, handsome, hot guy in his 20s. Sometimes they were gay, sometimes they were straight, but they were always unobtainable. He was as nice as could be, but was overweight and out of shape, and didn't have a great job or a lot of money.
And no, he never got any of them. He always seemed to be chasing a dream.
[quote]I answer, how many of you know gay relationships that have lasted 15 years? That shuts them up. by: Yes everyone does know a few.
You've entirely negated your own answer, haven't you? if everyone knows a few, then that really doesn't shut up anyone up.
And I know SEVERAL.
So many delusional eldergays in this thread.
This one made me laugh out loud:
[quote]Guys in their 20s and 30s see me as one of their contempories.
Aging gay men desperate to hold onto their youth can be the most foolish people in the world, I'm afraid. They can convince themselves of anything but aging is so incredibly awful for so many of them--they spent their 20s denying they would ever age, and then nature takes her revenge.
Gay men are famous for leaving claw marks on their youth. Let it go, girls. Look good for your age. 40 is not the new 20.
Sorry, OP, I have no website for you. Part of me wants to judge you negatively for the "boundaries" you've stated. But another part of me understands the desire to date youthful people, even though I'm a lesbian. I'm 42 and I never thought I was the type to give a shit about my age until I turned 40. It's been difficult to accept the fact that I'm aging and my body is changing for no other reason than longer exposure to gravity. It's really true, once you hit that magic age of 40, everything starts to change. I've always liked older women but when I started struggling with my age, I found myself more attracted to younger women. I'm kind of over that little crisis now but I do relate it directly with an unwillingness to face reality.
I wish you luck in finding your perfect man but I also caution you not to wish yourself into lifetime bachelor status. Love can be found in places you never thought to look.
Wow, this is so not a gay thing, but a male thing. Change the genders desired, and this sounds like a straight guy forum.
[quote]Love can be found in places you never thought to look.
Well said. But the reader of that message has to be a thinking person anyhow...it doesn't sound like a lot of the guys on here are deep enough to look at themselves so closely if they aren't willing to look deeper into what's in front of their faces.
Im 16 and single hit me up if u want to date x)
You probably need to check your bank statement and join SugarDaddiesRUs.com
Older men liking pretty young things is nothing new and nothing confined to queer life. Just look at all the straight men out there that dump their wives after they turn 50 and pick up some 20 something bimbo.
Geeze some of you younger guys seem so mean and nasty. Not sure why anyone would want you at any age. People are just expressing how they feel. I doubt anyone is looking for the advice of a 20 year old loser.
sugardaddy.com Just take a screen shot of your bank account as your profile picture
what R12 said.
[quote] I can't imagine how a site geared toward the old/young combo would attract anyone other than pervs and golddiggers.
Imagine it. I was in my late 40's when I became single. I joined a few meetup sites with no success. Learned about Silverdaddies and met quite a few great guys there. On Silverdaddies, if you're in your forties, you get it from both sides, as you might say.
Problem was that the guys I was meeting were too far away for anything beyond a weekend tryst. So I cut my parameters to a 20 mile radius from my home. Within a week I met a guy in his late 20's. Tall, blonde, handsome, with a thing for older guys. Lots of 'em out there. In May we'll have been together for six years.
It happens. But not if you don't work at it.
I'm in my 40s, in great shape, and people tell me I'm good-looking.
Everyone says I look 10 to 15 years younger than I am.
Of course I like younger, hot guys, 19 to 25. 28 max.
Cause men my age are just fucking gross.
I am 47 and open to date any age. I am constantly hit on by guys in their 20's and not for money as some of these posts have suggested. I workout 6 days a week have a body better than most twenty somethings, I have all my hair and its not gray and look in my mid 30's. It is possible to be older and still be able to attract hot younger guys and it cracks me up when younger guys who aren't as attractive and don't take care of their bodies get jealous that I'm attracting the guys they want. So they love to say that the younger guy must be after money. Well its not always the case, I know this is especially true for me because I am a returning college student living on financial aid. I feel sorry for all you haters. I'm having a blast.
R12 speaks truth.
You should listen to him.
[quote]The Average American male lives to 72 today, that means middle aged is 36.
Middle Age isn't supposed to mean the exact halfway point. Middle age is the spread between 35 and 60.
[quote]Middle age is the spread between 35 and 60.
R79 is 59.
Jesus there are some judgemental people on here. Just because it is not for you doesn't mean it isn't right...you know like when your dad tells you your sexuality turns his stomach. Get over yourselves and on with your lives. I'm in my mid 40s and have dated many lads in their 20s to our mutual satisfaction and they keep coming back for more.
Hmmm can't argue with what attracts you but a few years older and the sex is soooo much better!
Seriously, I am in mid fifties and I spent a weekend with a guy last fall who was 38. Sex was OK and he was buff and all but I came away ( hah pun there) thinking that a few more years would have improved him so much. Mid forties to my age is so much more satisfying and you usually don't have to worry about being too old for him some day. Because he Will get old too.
Jeez. Some of you bitchy young guys or bitter older ones need to lighten up. Male mammals are biologically hardwired to seek younger partners. I have a lot of straight friends and they are all attracted to young women, so it isn't some sick issue with fucked-up older gay man. And there are a lot of young men who are bored with guys their age and seek the maturity of older guys. And, some people here need to get real about people "using" people. Using and being used is a normal part of all relationships. Being abused is something completely different. When I was younger I was lucky to be very good looking. I got a lot of dates and attention clearly for that reason alone. I knew I was being used. So what! I got off on the attention.
What is annoying about OP is that he wants his cake and to eat it too. Sorry. You want to fuck younger guys be prepared to pay for it. You are just as superficial as those younger guys that are only into your money. You want to fuck young hot bodies? They want to be taken care of. Young guys need incentive to lick your wrinkly sagging balls and no, the stimulating conversation and "wisdom" you provide as an elder gay is not really incentive. I have no problem with daddies wanting to have their boys, but don't be a fucking cheap daddy and don't get get all sanctimonious expecting a one way parasitic relationship that clearly favors your issues as a stunted man child.
[quote]Wow, this is so not a gay thing, but a male thing. Change the genders desired, and this sounds like a straight guy forum.
Yes, my brother is a straight version of the OP. He is single and has had one relationship in the last 20 years. The relationship didn't last long. He was a sugar daddy who paid for a tummy tuck and who knows what else.