Project Runway‘s Tim Gunn, might seem well-mannered and polite, but today on The Revolution, he opened up about his sex life. “I haven’t had sex in 29 years,” Gunn, 58, revealed during Tuesday’s episode. “Do I feel like less of a person because of it? No.”
With tears in his eyes, he revealed a past “intense” relationship caused him to become celibate. “I’m a perfectly fulfilled person… but it’s very physiological,” he said.
So what happened?
Gunn revealed that an ex-partner ended the relationship abruptly and caused him to give up sex. “He was impatient with my sexual performance,” Gunn said, trying to hold back tears.
As he joined his fellow hosts in a “sex talk,” Gunn finally ended with one lasting point about his sex life, adding that sex shouldn’t be the sole factor in a healthy relationship.
“I’m happy to be healthy and alive, frankly,” he said about his celibacy.
He's another casualty of the earliest days of the AIDS epidemic. Many elders who survived it were deeply damaged.
Gives new meaning to "make it work"
Wel, fuck you right back up your tight, underpoked, underwiped smelly ass, r5.
Tim, I thought you were a bit more refined than that.
Reality TV faux celebs don't have to share everything. Some things are better left unsaid.
I do not understand The Revolution show. The two main hosts are two people that I have no desire whatsoever to see on TV - Tim Gunn and Ty Pennington.
I will never watch The Revolution in protest against getting rid of the two soap operas.
But even if I were interested, Tim and Ty would keep me from tuning in - as the commercials make the show look horrendous and Tim and Ty are too odd.
That said, Tim is a fine person, but I have no desire to watch or listen to him.
Please, I insist R3 -- fuck you dead!
this sounds mean, but it is DL...
Gunn always seems like he needs a good fuck to loosen his uptight attitude.
Now I know why.
I agree they don't have to share everything, but I hope you have the same opinion of people in glass closets.
On the other hand, I think sharing things like this can be really helpful for other people in the same situation to know they aren't alone. Not only that, but they're in the company of some otherwise very successful people.
I think a bottle of Milk of Magensia might clear that problem right up, Tim.
But I thought him and Andre were going to go to Red Lobster.....
OK, that is the last season I saw of Project Runway, and I loved Andre's impression of TG. It always comes to mind when I drive past a Red Lobster.
I remember him telling this when it was 26 years. Guess he hasn't gotten laid in the last 3 years either.
For the love of God, will one of you NYers throw the man a pity fuck.
This is like Spacey wanting women to think he's gay so that they'll seduce him. Tim wants gays to think he's un-haveable, making him insanely desireable! Genius!
[quote] “He was impatient with my sexual performance,”
What the hell does that mean? Did he want Gunn to fuck him harder and faster? Did he want to fuck Gunn harder and faster? Did he rape Gunn?
Are one of you size queens responsible for this?
At his age testosterone is so low he couldn't get it up for anyone so enjoys "Making Live Alone."
He should start his own monastery, dedicated to making it work.
I interpreted "he was impatient with my sexual performance" as meaning that the partner wanted more than Tim was willing to give. Some guys are coy and need to feel 100% safe before they free themselves sexually with another person. Kind of like chicks.
No wonder he's so anal retentive and prissy. He needs a fat cock in him.
Does Tim Gunn take antidepressant drugs? They can kill your sex drive and the ability to cum.
What a fucking tool. I knew there was a reason why I found him creepy.
Tim looks much better on TV. In person he is very gray and pastey looking. He looks like no one has touched him in 29 years.
And, no, those of us who survived are not damaged
Oh, what the hell. Call me, Tim.
Just because you hitchhiked through San Francisco with a tub of Crisco, r25.
He avoided the AIDS.
God, what a wounded and damaged person. He went through all of his 30s, all of his 40s, and now nearly all of his 50s having no intimacy at all because some ex decades ago said "Meh, you're a lousy lay, I'm outta here."
I think this is great. I prefer to know that eldergays do not have sex. Eldergay sex is gross!
He reminds me of Anderson Cooper. When I found out Cooper has never drank caffeine, hates green vegetables and generally has no passion for food, I felt the same way when I read OP's post. Both are men lack sensuality and sexuality.
I'm sure there are a lot of people on DL who have'nt been laid in a long time. I'm one of them!
Twenty years in July!
r21 - 29 years of being coy results in a stale piece of wunderbread like Tim Gunn.
He should post an It Get Dried Up video for sex phobic gay teens.
There are some people, called super independents, who just prefer to be single/celibate for a number of reasons. This can include wanting to avoid the dysfunctional people to whom they are attracted. Super independents come in straight and gay flavors.
They are often smart enough to realize they don't want fucked up relationships, but too damaged to fix it. Or, they simply focus their passions on creative or intellectual pursuits.
It's a rare type, perhaps 3% of the population. And they are usually happier than the average person, though most will insist that can't be true.
I'm not one of them! But I've known a few, including my cousin. I thought she was a lesbian, but I now know she isn't. She just has two PHDs.
Lord, R17, there are a zillion different ways in which one can be unsatisfied and dissatisfied with a sexual partner's 'performance'.
Took ages to cum.
There are no eldergays, that just a made up identity for those of us who used to be gay. We usedtobe's still find men attractive, but most of us have forgotten why. Once in while, a fart or stomach cramps will bring memories of intimate times past, but but with no short term memory left we are back in the fog minutes later.
I agree with R35. Some people are only attracted to abusers. You have to be very self aware and strong mentally to be able to turn away from toxic people when they are the only type you're attracted to. Most people just keep trying over and over with the same abusive "type" hoping for a differently outcome and it ruins their lives. Or they settle for someone safe who they are not particularly attracted to and have a less than satisfying sex life.
I heard Tim was changing his last name to Holstered, since he hasn't fired his gunn in 29 years.
Tim doesn't need to get laid, but he could sure use a cuddle.
Just because he hasn't had sex with anyone for nearly three decades doesn't mean he no longer has one of the biggest dildo collections in NYC.
Guess he wasn't always in The Mood. He is a very sweet and low key guy -used to live across the street from him. But-do the Fraus and gays watching the show really give a shit about his sex life? We just want fashion tips!!!!! BTW- if anyone saw the Fashion Police Golden Globe show, what the frig was Nina Garcia wearing?
That's truly sad to miss such an important part of life.
The only thing odd about this thread is that none of you seem to recall that we had an identical one three or four years ago. Are ALL of you bitches newbies? It's not news in the least that Tim is celibate.
Yep, it's not news. I wonder, does the guy even cuddle? Does he date at all? Does he desire sex? Odd duck, that's for sure.
Wasn't this a thread last year?
I haven't had sex in over a decade.
I've got all sorts of health problems, and I guess I really don't miss it all that much.
R47, I'm too old to remember.
Been here since...when was that?
He needs a good fucking.
I would've hoped he had gotten laid since then, r47.
"Perfectly fulfilled"? It doesn't sound like it. Perhaps he has mistakenly convinced himself of that. He needs a good therapist. He's a good looking guy with lots to offer -- I hope he gets help.
What's with all the judgment? I read threads here, I know some you haven't gotten laid since the Reagan administration. And not because your personal choices lol
40 year old virgin here. I think I am one of those super independents that r35 wrote about. I have had one sexual experience, with the opposite sex. I am attracted to both genders but I don't pursue relationships. I actually thought the movie 40 Year Old Virgin kind of got it, in that the main character just seemed to have a lot of bad timing and that's sort of what happened to me a lot of times. Its not that I am asexual, it just never really worked out. I am fairly attractive or so I have been told. I have gained some weight in the past years but I never had a sex life thin so I don't think that is much of a contributing factor.
I own my own house, have a decent job, have two degrees, spent my youth living in NYC. I have an active social life and am active in my community. So yeah, I relate to Tim Gunn, even if he's not a virgin like myself.
I remember it, R47.
quote[hates green vegetables and generally has no passion for food]
I do too. But that doesn't mean I lack sesuality and sexuality, R31.
I fuck like a rabbit and love to kiss.
Okay, the fact that he told us "29 years" is too much fucking information in the first place. But to add: "he was impatient with my sexual performance" is just utterly ridiculous.
Stop sharing every thought that comes into your head. Have some discretion and restraint. If he were telling this to a psychiatrist, that would be one thing, but he's telling this to the goddamn world. Why?
He needs a sex surrogate to coach him through his issues.
He needs to grow powdered pony tail and master the art of the fan!
I myself am a great proficient.
Flick. Flutter. Wavey-Wavey.
Les hommes lured like moths to a flame.
Why is is surprising R29? Careless words from a past lover can sting.
So much for being an arbiter of good taste.
R46 is correct. Someone who has had Tim's expereince could benefit from therapy. Many of us his age watched many friends die of what was considered a "shameful disease" with no cure and no sense of what the absolute cause was. It was more tabloid articles in the early 80's than a disease which a cure was sought. A young adult trying to make his way in the world often weighed death and disease vs. romance, sex and intimacy. Unless a bridge was found, there was great room for phobias about sex, confusion and great frustration.
Young people now should realize the "quote unqoute" Eldergays paved the way for them to be more OPEN about their sexuality with less hositlity or chance of being fired from job, or not hired for being gay. Or even go to a gay bar and not fear being arrested for doing "nothing."
It's only been about 14 years for me. I quit when I had prostate surgery. The scar was ugly and the resulting lack of libido worked out just fine. I enjoy seeing a good looking chap, but I wouldn't consider going through the old routine of a hookup. Been there, done that. I'm just biding my time until the lights go out.
I'm content to be alone without any worries.
r57 think it's good that he actually shared this. They say once you reach a certain age you dont care anymore, and apparently Tim Gunn is there. He probably has a LOT less baggage than most gay men his age.
I imagine that he has an exquisite collection of porn and masturbates regularly to keep his trim physique.
A-sexuality happens. Some people just are into sex and that's okay.
And yes, fyi, you can be gay AND asexual.
[quote]I quit when I had prostate surgery. The scar was ugly
That shouldn't turn people away. I have entrance and exit scars from where I got shot by a robber. It's rare that anyone notices, but if they comment, I joke about being run thru by an enemy bayonet (more interesting than being shot by a robber).
Since the prissy little thing is unnecessarily telling all, did he mention whether or not he masturbated in the past 29 years?
Well, Sinead O'Connor announced to the world that her ass (literally) was not getting enough attention and she was married within weeks. Maybe Tim will get some proposals out of this.
Hey Tim. I live near you. I'd be glad to stop by anytime and give you a blow job
R69. Tim may get some proposals out of this, but he wouldn't think of accepting one.
[quote]Hey Tim. I live near you. I'd be glad to stop by anytime and give you a blow job.
A blow job doesn't count as sex, tho.
Meh, he hasn't missed that much. Sex is overrated.
"Tim Gunn: I Haven’t Had Sex in 29 Years"
Which in gay years, equates to 3 weeks!!
attention seeking, bossy bottomed whore!
R13, it was Santino Rice's impression of Tim, WITH Andre, not Andre's impression.
R18, "IS one of you... responsible," not "are one of you... reponsible." The subject of the sentence is "one," not "you."
R 19, it's "Making Love Alone."
Oh, R31. "Has never drank"? I give up.
Quick, someone get the cobwebs out of her cooter!
Are there any photos out there of young Tim Gunn?
In his twenties, perhaps before he went all grey? A high school or college yearbook photo?
I'd be curious to see the young Tim! It might explain a lot.
Great. Now another reason for people to tell me I remind them of Tim Gunn.
"He probably has a LOT less baggage than most gay men his age."
Are you kidding? Sex is a basic human need. To go without sex (and a fully functioning relatinoship) this long means you've got a hell of a lot of baggage. Something tells me Gunn was pretty screwed up BEFORE his relationship went sour.
Most of you would be very surprised to know how many people live celibate lives by choice. And it isn't the great tragedy, or mental illness you all would like to make it out to be.
[quote]Are you kidding? Sex is a basic human need. To go without sex (and a fully functioning relatinoship) this long means you've got a hell of a lot of baggage.
Patently false. You can have sex by yourself and thereby fulfill that "basic human need" and you can have lots of different deep and fulfilling relationships with family and friends that are not sexual to have your needs met for companionship and connection.
A LOT of people live this way. Especially as they navigate their way through middle and old age and lack for partners. You don't have to have all of your needs met by one person and in one way.
I'm pretty sure most psychiatrists and psychologists would say otherwise, your assumptions notwithstanding.
Unlike you, R82, I have very little interest in what "most psychiatrists and psychologists" believe.
Disagree with you, R82.
50 odd years ago "most psychiatrists and psychologists" believed homosexuality was a mental disorder. Good thing you didn't come of age then, huh, R82.
I did a google search for photos of young Tim and came up with absolutely nothing. How can that be?
R86, do a search for photos by Matthew Brady. Tim has been around for quite awhile.
r86 - have you tried looking on cave walls.
Eldergay here just being a cunt
I'm sure there's a daguerrotype of the little whippersnapper somewhere.
[quote]And, no, those of us who survived are not damaged
Bwaaaahhhhh. Thank you, I needed that.
He'll find romance next season.
It's just a set up for 'Gay Wedding Monsters'.
[quote]While at Corcoran, Gunn had been offered a position at Parsons early in the 1980s, which he turned down. "I thanked them very much," he says. "I was flattered to be asked, but I was in a relationship. I was in love. And I liked my work. But then my life changed considerably in that next year."
[quote]Tim and his partner, Bill, had been together for six years. One morning it all ended. "I really have never talked to anyone about this," Gunn says slowly. "There were two major things that happened. The job advancement that I thought I was going to get, I didn't. But the biggest blow was the complete erosion of my relationship. It was abrupt. It was like a surgical strike. I still have a big raw spot on me from it, and that was 24 years ago. We were watching television in bed, and he just turned to me and said, 'I don't have the patience for you anymore.' I said, 'What do you mean? Do you mean you want me to leave?' And he said, 'Yes.' That night, I got all my stuff together and left."
[quote]It's here that Tim stops with the story, his voice wavering. "I'm about to break down," he says before taking a long pause. "I'm not gonna go through it again. I've never been in a relationship since and I never will be. It was so devastating that I can't possibly conceive of being more emotionally hurt and scarred than I was by that. I still love him, and I haven't a clue where he is now."
I'll bet if Anderson ever came on to him, he'd give it up faster than a speeding bullet.
I suppose I'm a "super-independent", and have several friends that could be described that way as well. I would say it's true that such people are far happier than most people assume, at least that's true of me and my friends. We all have interesting jobs, absorbing hobbies, social lives, and homes that are entirely to our tastes.
I won't go into my own story, but IMHO "super-independents" aren't just born that way; there may be a genetic component but there are always circumstances that lead people to a life alone. I suppose I'm missing out on a lot of things, but given the stuff I've been through, I could have done worse.
I have Never heard of the term Super Independent. Sounds like psychobable.
If Gunn is really faster than a speeding bullet, R93, it seems odd that his ex would have been impatient. Unless he was impatient about having to wait for another round.
I suspect that Gunn is not more powerful than a locomotive.
Wow R92, that breaks my heart. I want to give him a hug.
This was really too much info. What did Ty's facial expression look like when he said this?
Are those of you who identify as super-independents sibing-less? I grew up as an only child and I tend to like to be alone still.
That story about his BF is made up crap. He's just a plain old sex negative.
So Tim has basically confirmed for us that he's been pulling his pud for the last 29 years, in order to get off.
Oh, my beautiful mind!!!!
I really like being alone. It's hard to explain but I enjoy time on my own. I haven't really seen a lot of relationships that would make me think I'm missing out on something.
He's our best customer!
What is the purpose of this public dump of "too much information"?
A Pity Party?
Must people share EVERYTHING?
R2, way back there, is dead on right. Once you buried some friends -- and watched their awful decline (as it certainly was then) -- every sexual decision was tainted. You never really let loose again, in my experience.
Not long ago I was even just kissing a guy I really liked but knew had been around -- and all I kept thinking was "This guy is gonna kill me." So wouldn't take it forward.
Maybe you indeed had to be "a certain age" to get this. God knows you can tell Tim Gunn was handsome (still is) so would've had no trouble getting it.
I've been celibate for over a decade, since college. I am afraid of STDs.
You have serious issues, r105 - and I'm not being a bitch when I say it. If the act of kissing makes you fear death, you need therapy.
It's not even just fear of STDs and heartbreak. I have a friend (gay), a stunningly handsome guy, really nice, muscular body, smart and cultured, attractive in every way imaginable, yet he's almost asexual. He doesn't really care for sex, he'll flirt with guys, kiss them, but that's about as far as it will go. Strange, but there are people like that.
Not the act of kissing, dumbshit R107, the "taking it forward" part. Jesus, this board...
And, no, not afraid of kissing, swore long ago I'd indeed rather die than give that up. But the thought of "being safe" hangs in the mind throughout so one never really lets loose. Hardly a radical concept, nor an "issue" but I'll gladly accept it as one since it's perhaps the reason I'm still alive (and Mr. Gunn too).
They cancelled Fraternity Row for THIS?
You can "Jesus, this board..." and split hairs over which erotic acts spark the fear of death in you, r109, but the fact of the matter is you're one seriously fucked up person and you need therapy. That's not normal or healthy in any way.
Go easy. I was there and can tell you, that yes, for men who lived through it, the idea of death will come up at some point in a sexual encounter.
For some it is a fleeting thought. For others, a continuing one. But in those first few years before safer sex guidelines were developed and treatments for HIV/AIDS were developed, every sexual opportunity held fear. It is hard to go back to normal.
I hate to throw jargon and labels around but there is a kind of PTSD for gay men who lived through it. We are like those soldiers who flip out over every sound after they go home. So some of us may be fucked up---but we got that way for a reason. So compassion, please.
The PR aspect of this is interesting and troubling: an out gay guy lands a spot on a primetime hausfrau-y show, and I bet the suits don't want him to seem like he has a sex life. A neutered homo is the best kind. It's the Love Sidney issue.
As far as I'm concerned, I AM being compassionate here. It's an understandable reaction given the history, but it's still fucked up and requires a therapeutic response. You're defining it as PTSD yourself. PTSD is not something that someone just gets over. Seek therapy instead of seeking "understanding" for your issues.
It was not the content of your comment R114, but the tone I objected to.
Easy to say if you've never "been there", R107, R111, R114.
All that 107, 111 and 114 are saying, R116, is that people need therapy to deal with problems that won't solve themselves. What's wrong with that? You can certainly say that even if you HAVE been there (what's with the quotation marks, by the way?).
Would anyone want a guy like Tim Gunn advising you on how to live your life? HE'S the one who needs therapy.
I've come across many guys lke this in my travels - when you enter their private sphere, it is an empty, desolate place and they give off nothing but creepy vibes. It's creepy because they've chosen that.
How do you know I haven't been there, r116?
R116 seems to be an example of the DL reader who gets very pissy about things that he has misread or doesn't understand.
I'm confused... Are there really guys out there who DON'T flash on the words "Safe Sex" at all while having sex? Seems to me this would be an "issue" every one of us would have -- not an obsession but just being smart about it.
Way I see it a lot of folks died, including friends, because they didn't have that information yet -- but I/we do so, almost in their honor, I don't risk my life for a few minutes of unsafe pleasure. Pleasure, yes, unsafe, no.
Trust me, well-intentioned advice giver or whatever you are, there are many things I would consider seeking therapy for before THIS. This is pure pragmatic living since AIDS ain't gone nowhere (except out of the headlines).
r113, that is very on the mark. If we had a gay playboy-type, he'd still have to be comical and asexual in some way to fit into the Middle America/frau-comfort level.
In Canada, we have Steven and Chris, two lifestyle gurus/designer types who present themselves as the stereotypical upmobile and trendy couple who are the darlings of the upmobile and trendy. But they are strangely asexual ... and token.
If Steven is the tall one - he's asexual? He gives off a very sexy vibe.
[quote]I've come across many guys lke this in my travels - when you enter their private sphere, it is an empty, desolate place and they give off nothing but creepy vibes. It's creepy because they've chosen that.
It's so much better to be the sloppy pig bottom at the hoist.
You've moved the goal posts considerably, r121. Your initial post wasn't talking about thinking of safe sex. You said you were kissing a guy and thought "This guy's gonna kill me."
Whatever. You obviously don't see the difference, but thinking of safe sex and adhering to it is responsible, thinking "This guy's gonna kill me" when kissing someone is more than a little crazy.
r123 = Tim Gunn.
Okay, I know it's impossible to have a real conversation on here -- where misinterpretations can be adjusted on the spot -- but please read the original post again. I will spell it out.
"kissing a guy I KNEW HAD BEEN AROUND and thought 'He's going to kill me' if we GO FORWARD so chose not to risk it... (some paraphrased)" The thought was the turn-off, really, and neither common nor unprecedented, depends on the guy (in this guy, a very sexually active guy).
I swear, if I'd put "Better be careful" instead of "He's going to kill me", this thought thread could've ended days ago. Or we can just end it now... Ready to head back to more important stuff like Lana del Rey. :)
same goalpost, different wording
[quote]If we had a gay playboy-type, he'd still have to be comical and asexual in some way to fit into the Middle America/frau-comfort level.
Exactly. It's similar to how black characters are portrayed on sitcoms. 'Diversity' means the white characters have a black friend sprinkled in (even though this is not how people socialize in real life). Or maybe a couple, like the token black couple on Roseanne. But you can never have multiple black people, unless it's a 'black' show. Too uncomfortable.
So gays have to be portrayed in a similarly safe and non-threatening way. You can be a Tim Gunn or a Nate Berkus because they play the role of 'homo with good taste who provides advice'. But they would never be allowed to show any same-sex affection or even mention their partners.
But I'll bet he knows where every glory hole in NYC is, and has the scabs on his knees to prove it.
Who's the idiot that keeps bumping old threads? Stop already.
No sex for wha--?
Honey, that ain't livin.
Tim Gunn would make a good Alfred in Batman.
Another who can relate to being a super-independent and where (sober) sex isn't happening very often in my life and I'm okay with it. I want a relationship though. I like that Tim shared this.
I am honestly thought to be very handsome and exceedingly youthful in appearance (little to no wrinkles, great complexion, chiseled features, strong jawline, full head of hair in its original color). I'm also tall, lean, smart, funny, financially comfortable and charming. But, short of some minimal, unfulfilling experimentation in my 20s, I have been celibate for almost as many years as Tim Gunn (who's a few years my senior). I have had a couple of intense emotional connections to men during this time that never had the chance to get to the next level because the men were either in committed longstanding gay relationships, or most, recently, after a gap of some 20 years, very young (middle 20s) and married to a woman. But even with these men, my main desire was to hold and caress them rather than have sex. I never undressed them mentally or included them in my mastubatory thoughts. I worked briefly with my most recent obsession, and he commented on our undeniable chemistry, while telling others we were having a bromance (he just this week texted me from his new job that he wished I was there with him). I tell myself that if I ever had the chance to get him alone that my level of comfort and connection to him would dissipate my lifelong sexual inhibitions (informed in part by coming of age at the dawn of AIDS). Perhaps not, but I know that I have no interest in even the possibility of sex absent such a strong emotional connection. Prior to meeting this young man, I regarded myself as content and self-contained. After the passage of so many years, I never expected to have a recurrence of such strong feelings. Now, as I constantly long for him, knowing intellectually it will never be, I feel so utterly alone.
I am proud that Tim was able to say that. Being celibate does not mean that a person is not unhappy, nor not normal. It is regarding your body as a temple and wanting more than just sex or just a sexual relationship. God Bless you Tim! Keep doing what you do. Muah!
R134 Double Wow
r134 why do you think this other guy will 'cure' you or your uptightness? It sounds like you might have some false beliefs about your own sexuality. Not judging, we (gay people) are all a little damaged/repressed from the crap we have to deal with.
There is an enormous difference between my sexual attitudes and behavior BA (before AIDS) and AA (after AIDS).
I'm in a relationship at the moment but there have been many years when I wasn't in one and was celibate. It is INCREDIBLY difficult for me (and others) to risk a sexual relationship. For those who are too young to have lived through the coming of AIDS and its devastation, you'll never understand.
We're not crazy, you just had to be there.
Sometimes it's not just about disease.
It's been ten years for me. Last was a one night stand. It was like the minute I decided I didn't want casual sex was the minute my sex life ended.
After a while, it gets to be so long that you feel ashamed. And no I am not OK with it. It's fucking miserable.
I don't believe he has no sex drive though, which means he masturbates. I wonder if he has porn and sex toys? I don't date and use all of that as a substitute. Whatever the case, all men jerk off and so does Tim.
R134? I knew a guy just like you.
And then he died.
Seriously -- he locked himself in the garage and started the car.
Please reach out to someone -- that kind of isolation isn't healthy, and growing up in the age of AIDS is no excuse. In fact, that's the exact same excuse my friend John used.
Did Gunn masturbate? If not, he has a higher probability of prostrate problems including cancer.