What about using Mrs. Stewart's Bluing to remove the pee stains, R7?
^^ Or bleaching the fuck out of 'em?
"Scrape off any dried or crusted discharge from the fabric using a scraping tool."
I never want to share a washing machine with a female again.
Hot water, seperate your whites and use Tide. My socks, t-shirts and undies are fine, no stains.
Pee stains are worse if you take multi-vitamins.
Or if you eat a lot of beets.
[quote]No matter how many times I shake it, there's always that last little drop that ends up in my underwear!
and you've NEVER done laundry? ever?
if you want to be neat, you dab the tip of your prick with toilet paper after your urinate.
you should only wear white down there anyway. No fabric dyes.
1) My theory is that guys with hairy holes will be less able to avoid skid marks than guys with hairless holes due to inadvertent klingons. The hairier the hole, the spottier things get. Pun intended. Try to poo before you shower. If you have to poo sometime afterward, line you undies with some toilet tissue to keep them from browning until you can spot shower the klingons away. Or use wipies.
2) To avoid pee stains, make sure you squeeze every last drop from the balls up and wipe that last drop off your peepee with a square of toilet tissue.
Your white Calvins should remain fresh immaculate.
I always felt like Polly Prissypants, getting a square or two of toilet paper in public washrooms to use at the urinal. Glad to know I'm not the only one who does that.
I've switched to neutral-colored boxers since experiencing some dribbling, even after shaking and wiping as much as I used to when I was younger. I suspect it's prostate-related. No way can I wear white briefs now unless on a day I'm certain nobody's going to see my underwear.
Exactly! Don't forget to trim your dingleberries.
Geez! What is wrong with you people. A little SOAP and WATER works wonders!!!
I suggest investing in a bidet system that hooks up to your toilet.
YOU must have a secret (or secrete) that WE don't wanna know about! Yikes!
Underwear was traditionally white so it could be bleached.
Underwear exists to keep your clothes clean from your nasty bodily secretions.
Clothes were worn several times between washings.
And people didn't have a lot of clothes back in the day. Just check the size of closets in old houses.
This is simple, wear black idiot.
I stopped wearing white underwear a long time ago. nothing but grey and black briefs for me. white is BEYOND nasty.
Dry your underwear outside on a clothesline and the sun will bleach out pee stains and skid marks.
Your neighbors will get a show too.
Go on -- make their day!
Does anyone still wear tighty whities? I didn't think they were even made anymore.
Good grief, don't use bleach!
Wash them with whites and use Tide. There's really no problem if you wash whites, with whites.
By the way, that hairy hole theory is bogus.
Is your surname "Proctor" or "Gamble," R26?
Tide® is not alone in being able to remove underwear stains, you stultifying simpleton.
If you really know a better detergent than Tide, pleaee share. I've tried so many and always come back to Tide. I want something cheaper.
I like Gain. Smells good too.
[quote]experiencing some dribbling, even after shaking
While standing up to pee, your body isn't in the right postion to squeeze out the last drops of urine. If you sit down to pee, you can control all the right muscles needed to get rid of those last drops.
The problem with that is that you'll get a reputation as "a guy who has to sit to pee."
And people didn't have a lot of clothes back in the day. Just check the size of closets in old houses.
Check the size of closets in Europe...tiny, tiny....In America we buy so much shit (ugly shit, btw).
R22 I do wear all black underwear, thank you. I was just wondering how people are able to wear white! It seems 80% of the underwear in stores is white, so I assume it sells. White just seems a very impractical color for underwear given the circumstances.
I only wear grey and black underwear.
OP, why in the world would the color of underwear make a difference in how easy it is to keep it clean? Cleanliness is not associated with color, dear.
Apparently you just mean, "Why don't people do what I do, and wear underwear that is yellow in front and brown in back so I don't have to change it very often?"
Try to be specific when posting. It makes ridicule more focused.
If your pee is bright yellow, you're not drinking enough fluids. Start keeping a bottle or glass of water with you and regularly hydrate yourself. Your pee will be mostly clear and your yellow stains will disappear.
Use a high-quality detergent that contains enzymes (I like Wisk) and let them soak a while so that the enzymes can go to work attacking the stains. Chlorine bleach is bad for fabrics and will ruin the elastic. Smells, too.
Why have to deal with the chore of keeping white clothes white in the first place? I don't wear white anything, including sneakers.
R19...We have them. They are great.
Gain, original scent. And Gain fabric softener.
Even so, no white underwear either...over it.
Brown underwear gets just as dirty but you can't see the hash marks so you can wear them a few days in a row with no trouble.
Foreskin is for containing cock dirt. I expect guys who have developed anal lips have a natural second line of defence against uncomfortable brown.
Is it lost advice to line your fanny in toilet paper when wearing white briefs? This was common knowledge when I was growing up in the '70s. Don't stuff toilet paper up your wiped anus though as there are toxic shock concerns.
Did you use tampax?
Some of you are simply vulgross.
This thread reminds me of last week's trick. He asked me to take a red wine enema before he fucked me so I would bleed out like a virgin.
I suppose you could put panty liners inside your tighty whiteys. If you replace the liners daily you can wear the same underpants all week. Or maybe dispense with the underpants and stick panty liners in the crotch of your khakis.
Wipe your ass better bitch!
If your hygiene isn't super-fastidious, how do you expect your lover to get his face down there to do nasty things to you?
[quote]Scrape off any dried or crusted discharge from the fabric using a scraping tool.
R7's link made me puke.
This thread is astounding. So many of you seem to care more about whether your underwear looks clean than whether it IS clean. What for? Making a good first impression?
Dirty underwear looks disgusting because it IS disgusting. Camouflaging it doesn't make it less disgusting. Sounds as though the optimal garment for some of you would be a random pattern of brown and yellow, cut in a way that alternately keeps your penis in place and then twirls it like a baton.
Do your laundry, and keep yourself clean.
Doesn't washing your asshole dry it out? I heard you are only supposed to rinse your butt with water and not use soap.
No matter how
You shake and dance
The last two drops
Go in your pants.
My god, how much and how messily are you shitting that this is such an issue?!?!
Adequate amounts of fiber. Nuff said.
[quote] I heard you are only supposed to rinse your butt with water and not use soap.
I shower daily and push about 300 of my Lever 2000 bar up my butthole. No browneye for me! Just rinse well and dry thoroughly.
It's NOT on View, honey-bunch. But in general, I just wash the fucking things! GOD
I irrigate my bottom each time I do #2. I am thoroughly clean inside and out. Nevertheless, grey and black underwear is so much better. Even if not worn at all, colored underwear ages so much better than white underwear.
[quote]Adequate amounts of fiber. Nuff said.
Actually, no. If you want clean poops, add fat/oil to your diet. Since I started taking four 1000mg capsules of fish oil a day, I have the cleanest poops of my life. And no straining!
Has anyone tried the subtle Butt - Fart Absorbing Pads You Stick To Your Underpants?
Do they work?
Subtle Butt could well salvage my social life. I can't eat a bite of food before I'm harrowingly gassy. Beano was a heartbreaking letdown.
Ancient Chinese Secret!
Be warned, bleaching kills the fuck out of any elastic in your underwear or socks. I bleach undershirts but never underwear, unless you want them to die a quick death.
Warm water with Kirkland (Costco) liquid detergent and a scoop of Oxyclean. Wash the whites separately and do not overload the washer. Clean as a whistle and they will stay white.
Dirty cunts need to be stopped bare in public!
R7's link makes me want to never share a washer/dryer with a female ever again.
R65 is right. OxyClean (OxiClean?) is the answer. I don't use Costco detergent but I use OxiClean and it gets pretty much everything out of white clothes without damaging the fibers like clorine bleach. It even takes out underarm stains.
How? Easily. I have always worn tighty-whities and like them. Never thought much about skid marks or pee drops, nature happens. I wear a fresh pair daily 'tho. Always have. Maybe it has to do with cleanliness and how you were raised, what you were taught. Clean underwear just makes sense to me. Mine used goes into the pillow case with the shirts and sheets and the local laundry and always comes back clean and white. No prob.
P.S. to my R69 -- I've a friend in Florida, a very jockey-short kind of guy, who often wears a bit of toilet paper folded into his ass to prevent skid-marks. He calls them "ponies."
Hate it when I yank a guy's pants down, tug on his underwear and see skid-marks ... so I guess "ponies" stop stains.
Some of us would rather know how dirty our underwear is, make sure it is cleaned as well as possible, and replace it when evidently necessary than to walk around with the same degree of stains hidden by color.
In other words one doesn't have less stain simply because the underwear is colored.
Goddamnit, why did I read this thread?
It's a Shitty thread
I've never had this problem, I've only heard about it in comedy skits. I guess the threat title attracts like, but surely I'm not the only one with an immaculate bottom.
I don't even wear white socks. Grey and black athletic socks are awesome!
Liking the white sox. And lately am into the hot colors and stripes of the English boarding schools' crew sox. They get noticed, guys ask where to get them. (Splash, Friday night.)
r76, I could care less about that type of scene/feedback, but I love Under Armour socks. Very nice and comfortable, plus they look mad cool.
"In other words one doesn't have less stain simply because the underwear is colored."
One would think that even the simplest mind would grasp this concept.
Whoever said gay men were neat and fastidious obviously hasn't read this (disgusting) thread.
Do some of you queens actually try to pick up people with shit stained drawers?
So, what's good advice if you dribble a lot other than investing in a bidet? (Female here).
"dabbing" your piss-slit with toilet paper is the MARYest thing I've ever heard. You people are fucking ridiculous.
[quote] You people are fucking ridiculous.
And vice versa.
Deeply disturbing that people have such severe problems and are concerned only with concealing them, rather than solving them.
I do wonder whether R70, who hates it "when [he] yank[s] a guy's pants down, tug[s] on his underwear and see[s] skid-marks would be happier seeing a (stained?) square of toilet paper fluttering out of his trick's butt, or, worse, plopping, sodden, to the floor.
Put a cork in it!!
I can't believe such otherwise prissy people (DL is the effeminacy capital of Earth) would walk around all day with shit stuck to their bodies and not care about it.
It's not difficult to solve. After sitting on the toilet, just move your butt to the side of the tub and use the handheld shower head to spray it clean. Use finger if necessary. Your ass will be perfectly clean all day. It takes all of 15-30 seconds to be CLEAN ALL DAY. How fucking lazy are you?
Wet wipes, wet wipes, wet wipes.
Unlike you, R83, I'm not so lazy that I flip blobs of shit into my bathtub.
I just threw up a little in my mouth.
A little bleach in the enema.
My stools just aren't that gooey. It comes out, I wipe and that's it
I have this vision of the waning hours of the White Party, early Sunday morning.
Revelers lapsing into Ketamine fueled comas, falling to the dance floor, crushing their glittery angel or fairy wings while losing control of all bodily functions, soiling themselves.
Friends scatter to the four corners, security calls in the Hazmat team and one cell phone video becomes an internet sensation.
R83 How do you shower your hole off when you have to poop at work or in a public space?
Cultures with bidets don't have to deal with skidmarks.
Good question R90.
There are so many ridiculous responses on this thread, the most egregious being the queen who didn't think people still wore tighty whiteys and was surprised that they're even being manufactured now. What a moron.
R91, it might be eye-opening to culture your bidet.
Another vote for OxiClean. For recalcitrant stains including yellow underarm stains soak the affected garment in a solution of OxiClean and hot water. Let it soak overnight, then wash with your usual detergent.
Also try Biz-- it's available in a powder or liquid and works very well on stains of all kinds as well as yellowing cotton clothes and linens. People who work with vintage and antique textiles use it to clean cotton pieces that have oxidized. Cotton degrades over time so that even clean cotton textiles that have been stored in closets or linen cupboards will oxidize, eventually turning that unattractive dark yellow.
Do not use Clorox or other chlorine bleaches on yellowing cotton-- chlorine bleach will make the yellowing worse.
[quote][R83] How do you shower your hole off when you have to poop at work or in a public space?
Those should be considered emergencies where you just do what you have to do. Get used to doing it at home after breakfast. Most of the time it will work out fine.
Have you heard about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
I dont even wear white dress shirts.
[quote]I'm not so lazy that I flip blobs of shit into my bathtub.
"blobs"? No one else mentioned blobs, but you did. That says quite a bit. Apparently you'd rather have your "blobs" stuck to your body than down your drain.
A clean butt was on the cute boy I saw in the library tonight.
Tears at the corners of my eyes and cramped stomach muscles -- I am laughing so hard at this ridiculous thread!
DataLounge at it's funniest in awhile.
The ones walking around with dirty drawers are our super-sophisticated, ultra-hip urban sisters. They're too busy and too self important to wipe their asses properly, and even if they did, they don't have washers or dryers in their 4000.00/month studio walkups, so they have to haul their filthy, 4 times worn underpants to the nearest coin-up 5 blocks away
Cornfed flyover queen with my own washer/dryer and plenty of clean underwear.
Um... Just a curious laundry-related question for american dataloungers:
Australian here. Whenever I get the odd skidmark (rarely) or pee stain (more frequently) on my white - or grey - cotton briefs or boxer briefs, I just give the effected area a quick spritz with some pre-wash unstainer (I use. Sards - ccommonly available brand here at most supermarkets). Let everything sit ten or twenty minutes to let whatever chemicals involved get to work penetrating the problem - then wash as normal. If it's a load of whites - then usually a warm or hot wash.
Presto! All stains gone :)
Same stuff good for sweaty ring around the collar, grass or dirt - salad dressing or pasta sauce spillage - all the usual garden variety stains (I'm pretty clumsy - always spilling food on my shirts!)
Anyway - didn't ever see similar product on sale in the US when I've been there - and most American friends looked at me uncomprehendingly when I asked about it. My last trip there, I ended up taking some with me! Can't get by without it on laundry day (and rather than the pump spray bottle, the sane brand I use here does a pre-wash stick version that resembles a deodorant stick - and I think it's even more effective)
Just can't u understand why you guys don't seem to have it or that it hadn't caught on - especially given the enormous supermarket/grocery stores you have and the huge range of stuff on offer (my god! The variety of ice cream alone is mind- boggling!).
Trust me guys - sure beats walking around all day with waded up toilet paper wedged in your butt...
There is a similar product in the U.S. and Canada, R105. It's called Resolve and it's available in most supermarkets. It comes as both a spray and a stick.
Most of you simply need to go commando
Colgate-Australia makes Sards Wonder Soap.
Here we have Fels Naptha Laundry soap -- similar product.
I use it it my homemade laundry detergent. Good product.
Today, dudes predominantly wear boxers or boxer briefs. Boxers and boxer briefs mostly are non-white. Therefore, most guys today don't wear solid white underwear. In the lockerroom, I rarely see a youngish dude wearing white underwear. In the olden days, briefs were the predominant type of male underwear. Briefs were predominantly white. Therefore, guys back then mostly wore white underwear.
Dudes need to go commando
For me, it is not so much the challenge of keeping any white clothing clean, it's the challenge of keeping them from being discolored by other garments in the wash. I am not gonna wash my whites separately. No way. Too much for a color I don't even like wearing. SO, I don't buy white clothing at all.
I wonder where the yellow went when you scrubbed your ass with pepsodent
white underwear is declining in sales and popularity for a reason
Educational and hygiene levels are declining too. I wonder whether this is a coincidence.
Yawl are freaks! I haven't laughed this hard in quite a while...Thanks!
I've been wearing my cousin's boxer briefs because I'm too poor to buy them and he's in prison.
Well, R115, if they're white, the odds are that he won't have much use for them after getting out of prison.
How did you happen to get access to his undies during his unfortunate detainment?
I was living with his sister at the time. They're all colored-no whities.
Tip for the ladies:
Sticking your butt over the edge of the tub and rinsing off with the shower massager thing is great for all kinds of cleaning: not just poo, but also pee, excess pussy juice, and menstrual blood when necessary.
I discovered this tip about a decade ago, and haven't had a dirty pussy since!
What size are we talking about? Had they been washed?
I dab my piss slit, R80. My slit is very long and deep, you could actually get the tip of your tongue in there. Possibly related to this deep slit is my urine sometimes splutters in different directions instead of a straight steady stream. I need to have a wad of TP handy because there is often a mess if I'm standing at a toilet. Less messy at a urinal, but sometimes it happens there too. At home, it's easier to sit and pee. The alternative is to wipe the floor and the rim of the toilet almost every time I pee. Gets old after a while, and I keep the Lysol disinfectant wipes product line in business.
I haven't had skid marks since I was a very young child. Why don't you people know basic hygiene? Christ, you are all a bunch of fucking pigs.
R120 May I introduce you to the world of sink pissing? It'll solve all of your problems.
I love that Obama wears 2xsist, too hot.
I don't think it's necessarily a matter of hygiene. I wipe my arse until the T.P. comes up white, but I'll be damned--as I walk around a bit, more poo residue works its way down the tailpipe! So what was I supposed to do differently??
Disgusting. I have a proper diet. I wake up at 6am, eat breakfast, crap 30 minutes later, then shower. I haven't taken a dump in a public restroom in over 10 years. ...you people walk around all day with shit residue on you? cut out the fast food and olestra laden chips.
You disgustros need to learn how to clean out your cloacas!
I wonder if hair around the anus is to blame for all this.
I definitely need to give myself a trim down there. Lately I've been noticing slight skid marks. And I, like my determined brothers, wipe until there's no more brown on the TP, but I'll be damned if it doesn't find its way onto my sexy white CK boxer briefs anyway.
I'm pretty sure I don't have this problem when I buzz the hair around my asshole. But it's been a while. I can't be sure.
Can't get around the pee stains, or are they cum stains?
I'll try the Resolve and see how it works.
Some of you are just so *perfect*, aren't you.
Op, is this a Depends moment for you? Strap on that sucker and live prosperously. Just don't bring your stinky ass this way!
I wear brown, paper discardable briefs. I change them during the day as necessary. They are quite comfy and environmentally friendly. If I go on a date I usually super-douche and go commando. .. Ya gotta be clever.
Buy cheap drawers for everyday use. Save the expensive glamour-puss designs for weekends and special occasions.
For boys, use moist toilet wipes.
For girls, use moist toilet wipes plus panty liners (those very, very thin ones).
You can wipe and wipe until you are immaculate. .. It's those jucy farts while walking down the street that take their toll. It's what they call "oily discharge:.
I think it's the back-and-forth motion of the buns & anus rubbing together (coupled with gravity) that eeks out more doo-doo as the day wears on. Also, I don't know about y'all, but my butt crack sweats a lot. That can't help. Needless to say, I wear black underwear.
Ah yes, the dreaded Swamp Ass. This happens to me in the summer when I'm wearing dress pants. By the end of the workday I need to go home and shower, I just feel so nasty. I never smell or anything, I just don't feel clean. Also why I don't wear white pants, ever.
So *everyone* gets a tiny bit of poo residue coming out later in the day, long after they finished taking a dump and properly wiping?
I thought it was just me! Whew!
Yep, happens to everybody, R136. Which brings us back to the question...how the hell do people wear white underwear?
For no tell-tale drawers smudge later in the day, after defecation one needs to step into the shower and irrigate one's hole with a forceful spray.
In my past I have left a few dates' bedrooms when I saw their underwear was Skidmark City.
Dirty drawers are NOT cool at all, EVER.
Who has time to "step into the shower" every time they take a dump!? You can't be serious. What do you do at work or in public??
I shit at home, R139.
You must be "that guy" who stinks up the mens' room at work. Glad I have better control over my bowels than you.
I'd invite you over for dinner to discuss this further but I'm afraid you'd want to drop a big ole bomb in my guest bathroom .. and that ain't ever gonna happen!
[quote]I shit at home. Glad I have better control over my bowels than you.
Huh? Shitting in an involuntary, autonomic function. You do not consciously control when you have to shit. Otherwise, OBVIOUSLY, I'd choose to always do it at home also and there'd be no need for public bathrooms.
You're a fat ass aren't you, R 141?
I shop at koalaswim.com
I have a related question: how do ya'll wipe yourselves after a poo?
I mean, do you reach through/underneath, or do you lean and go in from the side?
Since I gained weight, I can no longer go through underneath, and so I have to stand up and come at my ass from the side.
Although, I am lucky enough to mostly crap at home, and so I just sit on the side of the tub and use the shower massager. Fun stuff, and very very clean. (Not to mention substantial monetary savings, from less tp usage.)
I stand up when I wipe. I never knew there was any other way until one time my ex and I were watching TV and something came on that made him say, "OMG HE WIPES STANDING UP!? EWWWW!" Then the wheels in my head started turning and I realized maybe I've been doing it wrong all these years? How the hell can you possibly wipe your ass sitting down? Does not compute.
Oh, here we go ….. LOL!
I'm fat and leaning to the side to wipe loosens my toilet seat after a couple of months.
Can anyone recommend a toilet seat designed for leaning bears?
Why wear white underwear when there are so many cool colors, such as grey, black, and blue, that look better?
I get turned on by guys who wear white undies because I know how incredibly difficult/next to impossible they are to keep white. It's like they're a freak of nature...not human. They mustn't ever go to the bathroom.
I wear mine over my diapers so I won't soil them. A prolapsed anus can be a bitch sometimes. And no, it's not a good idea to prelube when no action will take place anyway.
I wonder what color underwear a certain authenticated poster was wearing the night he defiled a power room at an Austin, Texas residence, much to the host's chagrin and consternation.
Sure hope it wasn't white or gray
R153, was it, perhaps, a powder room, rather than a power room?
You fat fucks just don't seem to get it. ...if you would just get control of your diet, you could crap in the privacy of your own home. ...it's aqll the fast food crap that gives you the soft stool and runs.
A big cause of brown in back is when you unclench even momentarily to release some of the buildup in gas pressure. It's easy to extrude even small amount when the door is open. Although you may hold tight when you have a choice, there's always the moments when you have the sudden blow out from laughing or standing up too fast.
[quote]A big cause of brown in back is when you unclench even momentarily to release some of the buildup in gas pressure.
That's a very good point.
Haven't we all suffered the heartbreak of realising that we gambled, and lost?
[quote]P.S. to my [R69] -- I've a friend in Florida, a very jockey-short kind of guy, who often wears a bit of toilet paper folded into his ass to prevent skid-marks. He calls them "ponies." Hate it when I yank a guy's pants down, tug on his underwear and see skid-marks ... so I guess "ponies" stop stains.
But you're fine with seeing wadded up piece of toilet paper stuffed between his ass cheeks?
So fucking gross.
poops are people too!
I love New Balance compression boxer briefs. The grey ones are so hot.
Colored underwear may look cleaner than white underwear. But it isn't. Those stains are still there.
Appearance versus reality.
Out of sight out of mind should not apply to piss and shit stains.
People were wearing white underwear long before colored underwear came into vogue; same with sheets and bedding. You keep it clean with soap, water and bleach. And colored stuff still stains.
marky mark said that during the calvin klein photo shoots, his underwear had skid marks in them.
wonder what the inside of mario lopez' underwear looks like??? or tom cruise???
I just took an excellent dump. I feel like kicking my heels in the dirt like a dog.
You wash them with whites, when they finally turn gray, throw them out. Whats the problem?
You don't have to use bleach, you can't use bleach on cotton, it turns yellow. Who wants bleach in their underwear anyway?
>Since I started taking four 1000mg capsules of fish oil a day, I have the cleanest poops of my life.
Oh, goody, another form of prelubing!
I wonder how often some of you shit that you have to do it at work or in public more than very rarely. Every other day is considered normal, though some people evidently do it daily or even twice a day.
Everyday for me R170. And the bathroom is on the opposite side of the building so you have to do this "walk of shame" back and forth as you pass all of the open cubicles.
1 or 2 dumps a day is normal.
This woman should have worn dark underwear and dark pants.
This was about underwear but I've known normal sized people who poop three times a day. What causes that?
R174, Eating does.
I do not live a controlled regulated life. I often shit 3 or 4 times a day.
I don't wear underwear so your post is irrelevant, OP.
How much food would a person have to eat a day to create the massive amount of waste that would be necessary to prompt their body to want to defecate several times a day?
There was a 600lb woman on Dr. Phil the other day who eats 30,000 calories a day. I wonder what the inside of *her* panties look like?
Some people shit out everything they eat within an hour or so. Not me, thankfully. But I have a few friends who do.
R179 More skid marks than the Daytona Speedway.
In some cultures people wash with water after each dump. If only Americans followed their example and made water faucets available in toilets... err... restrooms.
Black is the sexiest underwear color, followed by grey.
Carolina Blue is also a very nice underwear color. Very sexy.
Because white people don't eat hot sauce and know how to bake not just fry
I guess some of us like a nice funky shot stain so we know where tou sniff and lick
Well I Enjoy Sniffing Shot Stains on Sexy Black boys underwear because Their assholes themselves usually are too repulsively rank
It is disgusting to even think about so many of you wearing colored underwear, so nobody can tell that your underwear is dirty. I wear clean white jockey shorts, and I get them as close to sterile as I can manage. It is my habit to void my colon immediately before I bathe and shower, and then I take a small square sterile guaze pad, put a tiny dab of hydrocortisone cream on it, and place it against my asshole. My asscheeks hold it in place, and it protects my jockey shorts from stains from the secretions from the perianal glands, or leakage from the anus. I don't fart without going to the bathroom, and consider it a bowel movement even if only gas is excreted. Any bowel movement, gas, liquid, or solid, after my morning bath/shower, is followed by wiping my asshole with toilet paper, washing it with wet-wipe, then applying a fresh gauze pad. My dick is intact, and I piss through my skin rather than retract it, but then I will retract it and gently wash the head and inner skin with a wet wipe. I lust over good-looking people all day long, and I feel pre-cum being secreted and I know that I am getting spots of pre-cum on my shorts during the day. I also jack off into my jockey shorts every night as I am falling asleep. So semen is the main thing that I am washing out of my underwear. I keep several dozen at all times, and they don't last long because of how I wash them. I don't have to do this more than once a month. I leave them in a separate laundy basket until I have a medium load for the washer, then I run them through the first time in warm water and liquid detergent, because hot water will set stains. I then fill the washer with warm water, small amount of chlorox bleach, and soak for a long time. Then run the washer for that second time. Then I use hot water, with the hot water heater set to highest temperature. With the hot water, I use powder detergent which cleans different stains than the liquid, and add borax, baking soda, and oxygen powder. After this wash cycle, I will refill the washer with the hottest water, and after a little agitation, let them soak in the plain hot water for a long time to further kill bacteria and fungi. Then let the washer finish this additional rinse cycle. If there are any stains which survive all of this, I just don't worry about it, I know that my jockey shorts are as sterile as possible. My shorts fall apart after a few washings, and I pick out the ragged ones after the dryer, and I will wear them one last time when I don't plan for anyone to see my underwear, and after that last wearing I will just put those in the bathroom trash can.
The best underwear has a thick absorbent layer and a waterproof outer lining. It's a little bulky under clothing, but it's better to be safe than tragically sorry.
""Scrape off any dried or crusted discharge from the fabric using a scraping tool."
I never want to share a washing machine with a female again."
Can't your figure out what most of the oozing vagine secretions, causing the "crusted discharge," is? JIZZ, dearie.
There must be some kind of laser or vaporizer to blast your stained underpants...
“One Last Drip In My UTrou Syndrome” can be permanently cured surgically. This procedure is not particularly onerous, and, except for the overly squeamish customer, does not even require local anesthesia. It’s just a quick prick to your dick. Next time you visit with your MD, simply inquire about a nose hair transplant. Sniffle.