I was caught in really shitty Bay Area traffic today, and Adele's "Someone Like You" came on.
There I was, driving alone, and remembering my first gay fling in college. I wasn't out but was fucking IN LOVE with this dude, who was also conflicted and closeted and just generally messed up. Anyway, we went separate ways. I was heartbroken, but I moved on.
I looked him up years later and emailed him, and he responded by telling me he was married. To a woman. It is 15 years since I last laid eyes on him, and I love my current partner, but I still think about him. A LOT. First young love is so devastating.
Anyway, one of the first lines of that song is "I hear you're married now" or something, and then with her voice and the melody and my memories, it made me cry for the entire drive home.
Yearning for years and love lost.
Then I got home to my partner and my real adult life, and laughed at myself for being such a Mary.
So admit yours!
I've just got 2 things to say:
1. I hope you are for real, Miss OP'sha, but GUUUUURRRRRRL, you are probably not.
2. If you are for real, well, I hope you are not a bear, GUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRL!
I think I prefer the standard cunty R1 to whatever that was.
I loved that story, OP.
I'm a dude, I don't have "Mary" moments, but your story was pretty dope, man.
Thanks, guys. I was afraid I'd made it sound a little too much like Casey Kasem introducing a song.
[quote]Yearning for years and love lost.
This is Mary! And who hasn't had this Mary! moment?
I too have some regrets and glory days. Nice to see I'm not alone.
Life is good now. Your story makes me appreciate the times before,
and the times now even more.
I was at a very, very low point in my life, hated my job, hated my life, had no real friends that I could trust, every day was exactly the same as the day before, just a bleak landscape of futility. I was driving home from work and Sade's "By Your Side" song came on the radio and I just broke down crying, it was like some angel talking to me from another plane of existence, loving me unconditionally. The emotion of the moment was so strong that I felt a little better about myself and understood that this was not a permanent situation, my life was not a waste, and that things could get better.
This was almost 10 years ago but I remember that it was raining, hard, I remember the street I was on, I remember that day like yesterday (yes, I do)
I know, MARY!
I tear up at the end of Baby Boom, when the little girl says "Mama?" to Diane Keaton. Seen the movie 3 or 4 times (used to be on cable a lot) and it happens every single time.
[quote]I'm a dude, I don't have "Mary" moments
Wow, you must be such a stud.
Show any straight guy "Somewhere in Time" and I guarantee he'll be in tears by the end.
Don't feel bad, OP, a fucking Taylor Swift song makes me cry.
I think you're trying much to hard but, whatever. Get a blog.
R13, total misuse of that catchphrase. A funny GAY anecdote asking for more? How is that out of place on DL? You'd prefer homophobic, bigoted insults flying?
And R1's the one trying too hard.
I think the fantastic "Dialing the Telephone with a Pencil" thread would be two pages, all insulting the OP, these days.
OP - it is interesting that you mentioned that song because I had a conversation about last night with a friend. Basically, we couldn't figure out what the lyrics mean:
"Sometimes it lasts in love and sometimes it hurts instead"
What the heck does that even mean? Anyone care to make a guess?
My 'Mary' moments usually involve insects.
I wasn't "out" yet at age 19, and working a Christmas job at a small high end department store in 1979. It was my first experience with interaction between so many different ages and backgrounds of people. We would call each other floor to floor, department to department for gossip. I became fast friends with this sassy woman named Cindi, that worked in ladies shoes department on one. Cindi was on to my sexuality more than I knew, and was lots of fun to talk about the guys with. I was also friendly with a very sweet girl, named Jennifer, that worked in millinery, also on one. Jennifer was totally clueless to my possibility of being a homo, and in reflection, she had romanticized our relationship a bit.
One day, where I worked on five, the gift and home department, a breathtakingly beautiful man came in to shop. He was very"colt", lean waist, stubble, big blue eyes, rugged cowboy attire, boots, hat...you know...to a 19 year old budding homo...he was SO HOT! He was probably in his mid-twenties and was buying an expensive piece of Waterford as a gift. He also winked at me and said he'd like a box of Godiva. After he made his purchases he opened the chocolates and offered me a piece. My heart was beating like crazy, I took one and he winked again and thanked me for my assist. I stood there watching that hot ass in those Levis descend the escalator. I was numb, in awe and worked up.
I had to tell somebody about this, it was more than I could suppress, Cindi had to know! Nervous and nelly, I dialed to one, "the hottest cowboy was just up here and he winked at me twice, he's heading your way do you think he likes guys too"? silence, " Cindi"?..... "it's, Jennifer in millinery" ::::::MARY!:::::: Jennifer avoided me after that and Cindi took me to my first gay discotheque that weekend.
I got my first charlie horse when I was a child and fell to the ground. The Waltons had an episode about polio and I was convinced I had it. I remember hysterically telling my mother "I may never walk again!"
Laughing out loud at R17!
OP, I've recently had exactly that reaction to that song, for very similar reasons. My first boyfriend in high school (25 years ago, mind you), the one that got away, never fails to pop up in my thoughts now and again. He's happily partnered with someone much more suitable for him, as am I, but I still remember how he broke my heart when we were 18.
[quote]"Sometimes it lasts in love and sometimes it hurts instead" What the heck does that even mean? Anyone care to make a guess?
I've been assuming I'm misunderstanding the lyrics. Is that really what she's singing?
I also thought she was saying "Don't forget me. I'm mad!", which, no.
I was sharpening my pencil in 7th grade when Mr. Roscoe was trying to get the students to take their seats by taking a paddle the kids who were loitering. I thought I was safe because I was actually preparing for the class. When I was paddled I went ballistic. First I screamed and crumpled to the floor, inert. Then when I rose from the floor I said "How dare you strike me! I've never been whipped in my entire life. I'll have your license for this!" and I went stomping down to the office, which was less than sympathetic.
I also remember crying to the dentist when I had my first cavity "No! This can't be true!" I said and began reciting all the reasons why he must be mistaken and how unfair it was.
Talking to my ex-beard, err, GIRLfriend about Audrey Hepburn.
This isn't quite what you want, I expect...
But I would say the moment was careening around the curves of the Blue Ridge Parkway in a PT Cruiser convertible with the music of the German pop group Rosenstolz blaring full blast.
Just recently after watching "The Amazing Race" I was walking to meet a friend for lunch. As I walked I envisioned I and my gay husband running the race and coming to the finish line to be told that "409 countries, 11 continents, etc...." I got myself all teary-eyed imagining it. Just then I realized I was at the restaurant and there was my friend looking at me with tears running down my face asking me what was wrong.
Finding out that an old male friend of mine from High School had become a woman.
My partner and I were miving to a new city. He went ahead of me to start his new job and I was going to stay behind to wrap things up and then follow a few months later.
I went out one night with some friends. We had a fabulous time. We met for dinner and drinks and then went to a club where we drank and danced and had a terrific time. When the night was over I started walking home. It was snowing and everything was white and lovely. It struck me then and there how much I missed my BF and that I was going home to an empty house. And that house would be empty for the next few months. I started to tear up. The tears turned to sobs. The sobs turned to full-on wailing and yelling, "I don't want to be alone!!! I don't want to be alone!!!"
Keep in mind that I was very drunk and very tired. It was 4:00 a.m. and the streets were empty. If anyone witnessed my hysterics they didn't mention it.
By the time I got home I had calmed down. But, jeez. MARY!!!
R18 reminds me of the time I thought I had Muscular Dystrophy. I had just started seventh grade and our gym teacher made us run around the track. I wasn't used to that much exercise after a lazy summer so my legs were very stiff. It was around the time of the Jerry Lewis telethon so I was sure that I too had muscular dystrophy.
OP, thanks for the posting. I actually bought that album and planned to email that song to my ex with a nice Christmas e-card.
After reading your post, I realized I had a Mary moment. My ex is a cheating ho. And I simply miss that dick rather than anything else.
Anyone here wants a free Adele CD?
I had a few last weekend. I was watching "A Summer Place" on TCM, one of my favorite campfests, and not only was I humming the theme, but I was also doing Connie Ford's dialogue as she spoke. Was also watching "Meet Me in St. Louis," and I burst out singing the Trolley song with Judy.
And yes, I'm a big old queen
Well, there's this guy in my class that I sorta became close with. Anyhow I took my final yesterday, and I noticed that I finished before him, so I realize that's the last time I'm ever gonna see him since he's transferring to a different school. As I was leaving campus, I was listening to "Fix You" by Coldplay but it was the Glee Cast version, and when Matthew Morrison sang the line "..and the tears start streaming down your face" I got VERY emotional. Not just because I'm not gonna see that guy ever again, but because I hardly made any friends over the semester. I'm gonna come back a friendless virgin.
Oddly enough, one of my most recent Mary moments came when I discovered this "Someone Like You" song a few days ago. I hadn't really paid much attention to the Adele hooplah, but it played one night on my Pandora mix and I got hooked. I spent the next couple of days obsessing over the original version and several covers on YouTube. Then I developed a crush on this gap-toothed guy and his haunting version. As Ms. Flack would put it, he was "singing my life with his song." He put as much emotion into the song as most of the Marys on this thread...including me.
My favorite Mary thread involved those huge crablike spiders behind a wall clock...
I loved when one of the posters said...
"Well just pick up a book and smash the damn thing!"
I was around 7 years old, it was Halloween. An old grandmother was wandering up and down the street looking for a neighbor`s house while we were trick or treating. She was old and wrinkled, had a big nose and chin, maybe even a wart or two. I shook my head with scorn.
The next day I told the neighbor it was insensitive of her to allow her old grandmother to wander around like that on Halloween of all nights. Why, the little kids would think she`s a real witch and get scared!
THat's 'coz they all want to fuck their grannies R11.
I used to change all my flat tires myself but the last time, I just couldn't get the fucking hubcap off and had to call for help. The kid showed up and treated me like an old lady, "Well, ma'am (yes he did) we'll have that off in a jiffy. You just go sit in the car." I'm a 50 year old male.
I ain't, I ain't!
Straight guys are the biggest Marys of all. They cry over sports, for fuck's sake.
When she sings ‘sometimes it lasts in love and sometimes it hurts instead. She is saying sometimes love last, and other times it hurts. Fairly self explanatory.
Love R18's self-diagnosis. "I may never walk again!"
But love R17's story more. In retrospect, do you think the guy was flirting with you?
Oh yes, R39, Cindi and a department colleague let me know that the cowboy was back a couple days later looking for me. Alas, I was not there and I never saw him again.
Mary! What if!?
I have the exact same reaction as OP to that song and that line, even tho I'm not or was not in love with someone who is married now (tho I pretended to be to get my current love jealous and more into me).
I pine away sometimes over missed opportunities with dudes from my past when I was too closeted to come one to them. Some I've met years later admitted to me that they wondered why I didn't make the first move because they would have been into it! Damn. Also, I am still lusting after my first real High School romance with a beautiful Blond haired, blue eyed, Jew (Mother was second generation Swede...father was a good looking Jewish man). It's been many years since I've seen him; I still have the vision of his nude body in the moonlight at the lake as we both explored each other's body for the first time (We were both 15 y/o at the time).
Real kaweens don't have them
When Anna Nicole Smith died, I stood up on the bed and screamed. My bf turned to me and said, "What the hell is wrong with you?"
I was 52 when I had an asthma attack for the first time. I thought I was dying and sent farewell emails to my friends. One spray of albuterol and I was as good as new. Oops.
I'm not proud of this, but I burst into tears when I heard Laura Branigan died.
My cat decided to puke right near my laptop bag which was made from distressed leather. I stood about three feet from her watching her body contort and heave and heard that godawful UGH UGH UGH noise that cats do.
All I could do was say OH GOD OH GOD as I literally fluttered my hands at the wrist like two birds trying to escape the chimney in Mitch's house in Bodega Bay as my cat ejected everything she'd eating fifteen minutes before.
She missed the bag but got the base of the floor lamp.
A friend (Bob) of a friend (MARY!), who's an incredibly sensitive, animal rescuer way left-wing vegan was riding the bus home and listening to TLC's "Unpretty" and fucking SOBBING as he sat there.
Bob also told me of a time when he told MARY! that when Bob was a kid he'd go hunting with his dad.
After the story they both were occupied doing other things. Bob looks over and MARY!'s crying. When Bob asked him why he was crying MARY! told him he was crying over the deer Bob had shot lo those many years ago.
[quote]I remember hysterically telling my mother "I may never walk again!"
That's so fuckin' funny!
I wept when I found out that Florence Henderson was still alive.
When I was a Catholic altar boy I insisted on taking the vestments I wore home because I didn't like the way Sister Gerlinda laundered them.
I insisted that my mother use bleach on my white surplice, and iron all the pleats, using extra starch to make it beautiful. And I had her redye my cassocks to get them blacker-than-black again.
Once she neglected the bleach and when she handed me the surplice on a hanger, I said, "I am NOT wearing that in front of Father."
And for funerals we got to wear silk and velvet cloaks to the cemetery in the limos, capes like Dracula wore. I brought mine home so I could get dressed up and pose in the mirror.
My siblings thought I was insane.
Like many lesbians, the song 'at seventeen' still makes me cry. I am in my early 40s now. Fucked up.
Well, I will add that this crap about Adele's fucking no-talent inane wobble-warble pussfest "Someone Like You" is enough to make me want to scream.
Who couldn't understand the lyrics? You must be "lyric impaired." Sometimes love lasts. You know, relationships LAST. Sometimes they don't and it HURTS. What part of that don't you understand? Good lord.
Mary Patricia McDonald
Mary 'Butch' Kladboch
Mary Di Domenico
Mary 'AJ' Honicker
Mary Van Ness
Mary 'Mad Dog' Mitchiner
Mary Moonchild Adoree
Mary Lee-Ann Shovelbottom
Mary 'Diesel' Dodderson
I'm not sure this is Mary! If it's not, you bitches will let me know. But my moment occurred after I had been having sweaty sex in a gay bookstore. I was there late, and when my friend and I finished and exited our booth, the place seemed really quiet. No one seemed to be around. We walked up the hallway to the front of the business and peeked through a curtain that separated the booths from the retail store. It was dark and the place was closed. We walked through the curtain and an alarm went off. The phone immediately started ringing. I walked behind the counter to answer it. Why not? It was the owner, and he told me the police would be there soon. I was somewhat afraid that the police would try to harass us--you never know. We were lucky and they didn't. They did laugh at us, though, and joked that we had a story to tell, if we dared. We eventually were allowed to leave after the owner arrived and counted the money in the register. To this day I regret not helping myself to a bottle of poppers...I was just not thinking at the time.
Hearing that a very handsome, hot, sweet guy I had developed an insane crush on was being transferred. The thought that I'd never see him smile, hear him laugh again. Never see that face, sneak a peek at that butt. A crush that was as bad as any schoolgirl's.
Heard Weezer's "Islands On The Stream" (the "hep hep") song that night and lost it so bad I shocked myself. Regret, frustration, longing, unrequited love, desire...I ached for him, and he was leaving, and there wasn't a damned thing I could do.
Mega "Mary!", which I didn't care for one bit.
Years later, still hung up on the memory of him, all that I ever wanted. ..
Was a confused high school lesbian taken to a gay bar for the first time by a very sweet young gay guy. He and many of his friends died of HIV only a few years later. Their deaths were not discussed or addressed at all by so many people we knew in common.
When I dwell on their disappearance I have Mary moments. Usually at night or on unemployed rainy afternoons.
Sorry Chris, Jim, Mike, Matt and Mark. Even your names are different than the ones today. The world has moved on.
I grew up in an extremely religious family and a tight-knit church group. The closer I came to adulthood, the more I realized that I would never be accepted and I just needed to quit being the one making the effort. Left for college listening to Rascal Flatt's "I'm Moving On," crying my eyes out. The line, "...there comes a time in everyone's life, when all you can see are the years passing by, ..." really hit home with me and motivated me to leave. I was much younger, had NO ONE, and that song came along at just the right time.
I was walking and listening to my iPod and a song I hadn't heard in years, a happy song that reminded me of a friend, came on.
And I started crying. Uncontrollably. Shaking. People walked by and a few offered to help.
My BF went through a bout of depression back in 2009. It was the first time and I really didn't know what was going on. I usually practice tough love with him since he is a bit of a drama queen and hypochondriac. Looking back, I was probably a little harder on him than I should have been.
Fast forward to 2011 and I had just lost my job. We are both aspiring screenwriters and I was sitting on the bed listening to Katy Perry's Teenage Dream. And the image in my mind of us just being free and driving PCH 1, top down, finely living our dream just overcame me and I started balling.
He walked in and saw me and asked what was wrong. I asked him if this is how he felt during his depression, and he said "yes." And I said, "I'm so sorry."
r1, I loved your post. There were many of us who were confused and conflicted in college. Relationships developed. We fell in love. Life intervened. We moved apart. But we have never forgotten.
From experience, I 'second' that it is strange to look up a first love to find out that he is married with children. ( Of course, there are guys who are bisexual...something that most of us seem to forget.) Guys with wives and kids are rarely interested in reconnecting with a part of their lives that they have tried to erase, which makes it all even more painful.
It really is true that "You never forget your first love."
[quote]And the image in my mind of us just being free and driving PCH 1, top down, finely living our dream just overcame me and I started balling.
Hard to imagine how you've failed to make it as a writer.
Or, perhaps, bawling.
I was fired from a Melanie Griffith film for commenting on her face
R46. You funny bitch, you made me laugh. I have asthma too.
R66, come sit by me.
More MARY! please
[quote]Heard Weezer's "Islands On The Stream" (the "hep hep") song
I think you mean Island in the Sun.
I have my moments at least 2 or 3 times a year, sometimes more. In my vivid gay youth those moments were more like once or twice a week. Usually followed by sex.
Needless to say I have lost interest in sex altogether.
R74 here. Perhaps I do not understand what Mary! really means. I thought it meant unnecessary drama. Followed by sex, it can be actually interesting. It's just roleplay or emotion play if you will. Some people take up theatre, playing with your life brings a whole new range of sensations.
I want to marry R53.
I used to play Wonder Woman all the time. I would put a black t-shirt on my head and do it up in a bun, so when I spun I would get the hair falling down shtick perfectly. Then I would put on aluminum foil bullet proof bracelets and a foil tiara with magic markered red stars on them. To add to the effect, I put my little tape player up to the TV and taped the sound from the show. So when I did my spin from Diana into Wonder Woman, I would press play so the music and the thunder and lightning would play at the same time. One time my mother caught me and said, "what in the hell are you doing", I told her and she laughed, but then quietly said, "don't do that in front of your father."
This thread really is a "looking for love" personals
What exactly does Mary! mean?
R79, you ain't from around here, are you?
No. I'm not from America anyway.
When a very small child, I became very warn one day, and swanned around the house saying I was going to faint. The only response I got was an explanation that males do not "faint," they "pass out." So it was kind of a fail on all sides.
"warn" = "warm" as in, "it was summer"
Come on, what does "Mary!" mean? Is it just the kind of exclamation a really camp gay American bloke would make?
Yes, R84, except a camp gay bloke from a bygone time (before the 1970s). Nobody really calls other men "Mary" anymore, except ironically.
Why would someone call a man Mary?
I cried watching an episode of Drop Dead Diva.
Or is it a shorter version of "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!"?
Any movie that involves an animal suffering, I can't handle it. "Benji's Theme (I Feel Love)" makes me weepy.
[quote]Why would someone call a man Mary?
To point out that he's exhibiting stereotypically feminine behavior. When someone became too melodramatic, saying "Oh, Mary!" was a jocular way to tell him he needs to calm down/man up.
Well, when I was a teen I went shopping with my aunt to the mall and at the make-up counter she tried some eye-shadow and I said: Oh no that shade is too iridescent for you! She looked at me kinda funny...
This thread has really made me laugh. Thanks guys.
[quote]All I could do was say OH GOD OH GOD as I literally fluttered my hands at the wrist like two birds trying to escape the chimney in Mitch's house in Bodega Bay as my cat ejected everything she'd eating fifteen minutes before.
This paragraph mustn't go unacknowledged.
I opened my mouth this morning, and a purse
I allowed myself to get a bit teary this morning when I realized today is Lauren Bacall's 89th birthday.
And quite possibly her last.
I had to leave the theatre before the end of Marley & Me, and I sat in the lobby trying to keep from crying until the movie ended. The worst part was that my BF and I were sitting in the middle of the theatre, and I had to slide past about twenty people on my way out. I was saying to everyone, "I'm so sorry, I just can't watch this anymore".
And yes, I know we were both Marys for even going to that melodramatic rom com in the first place (we went for the dog).
[quote] Perhaps I do not understand what Mary! really means. I thought it meant unnecessary drama.
It's over the top drama, unnecessary drama....it's both a poke of fun and a subtle sign of respect.
I cry (secretly) every time I hear that triumphal background music on a Jos. A. Banks commercial. It makes me feel so proud and noble and manly! Dee-dee-DEE-DEE-DUMB.
If Only You Knew by Patti LaBelle came on the radio on my way back from picking up lunch.
My last boyfriend (6+ years ago) told me that he didn't believe or feel like I loved him. I thought I was showing him in everything I did for him (cooking, cleaning, late night booty calls, having his favorite beverages of choice in my house in case he decided to drop by unannounced, massages, sex) and of course, telling him I loved him.
I can't seem to get through the first chorus without the tears flowing.
I have songs, artists and entire genres of music I can't listen to anymore because they remind me of an ex.
Years ago I was dating this guy and the two of us loved to get high and watch Larry King Live, only because King was so bad at what he did we and thought it was funny. One time he had Liza on, and she was her usual train wreck. I should at this point mention that me nor the guy I was dating are really all into that "gay diva icon" worship shit. But maybe because were were high, we thought it was funny how so often, Liza would begin a sentence with the words, "Mamma used to say..." or "Mamma used to tell me....". The more she said it, the more we laughed, especially at the idea that some old booze hound was also supposed to be a font of wisdom. Eventually it go to the point where we started imitating her, putting on what we thought was her voice and saying things like, "Mamma used to say, you wash Seconals down with a gin and tonic" or "Mamma always told me, if you need a cheap abortion, go to Mexico."
I didn't go out one halloween because my parents insisted I wear a coat over my Casper costume.
When I demanded the escort to address me as barbra
I love you, -102-
[quote]Show any straight guy "Somewhere in Time" and I guarantee he'll be in tears by the end.
Psst...c'mon over here! I got somethin' I wants to shows ya!
Oh, yeah, the straight guys are just lining up for a chance to watch that movie with us both.