Does anyone else use this site? In my opinion, it has to be one of the most frustrating websites on earth. It seems like everyone on there is just on to play games and never actually do anything. I've connected with many guys since joining but a hookup has only come to fruition 4 times and the person never really looks like the photos they put on their profile. Even though this site infuriates me I still log-on out of habit. Ugh, how depressing...
Here's an idea:
Delete your profile and stop going there.
It's great for finding trade. I can narrow it down by area, and have the hustler of my dreams at my door within the hour. Love it!
how do you do it r2? I'm always getting rabbitpunched by wimps and flakes
R1 nailed it.
I have the same problem with Grindr. Never met a single hook up on there. Most of the guys don't even respond. I've had much better luck with Adam and back in the day Manhunt
My problem with Grindr is that I'm not actively looking, but I'd respond if an interesting person chatted me up.
But I've made a discovery that the only guys on Grindr that bother to hit me up are very over-weight (as in ROUND) latino men. EVERY age (from 19 to 64). But all between 5'5" and 5'8".
I'm 46. And skinny. And tall. And white. And nerdy.
I'm kind of surprised that the dozen or so chats have all come from such a homogenous looking group. Sure, they're all ages, but they could all be brothers, they're so physically similar.
And of course, not at all my type.
So maybe I'm a jerk for not responding to most of them. If they send more than "Hi" and their profile doesn't say "Looking to make you cum inside me" or anything grossly forward like that, I'll chat back. But that's been rare.
When I was in college, it was only older (50+) overweight (300lbs+) black me who ever hit on me. It was almost a joke amongst my friends. I even worked up the courage to hit on a guy once, and he shot me down instantly with "Sorry, I only date older black men". I offered to introduce him to everyone who hits on me... (it would have been hilariously ironic if it wasn't so damn annoying).
I have a wide variety of types and tastes. And apparently only those outside those wide categories and varieties have any interest in me.
I pretty much gave up on the whole thing a few years back.
Grindr is a waste of time - unless you're traveling (and hot) and, thus, new meat. Otherwise it's the same ol guys that are every where else, except for even more "happily partnered" guys. I'm pretty quick to block the assholes, too.
LMAO. This thread reminds me of a story that aired tonight on All Things Considered (NPR). They were talking about Blendr, which is supposed to be the straight version of Grindr. It ended with the following observation:
For women, the problem isn't usually "too little attention."
They get hit on all the time, whereas guys are pretty much flakes when it comes to dealing with each other. I've never ever met a guy I've spoken to on Grindr because I know what it's about. I like looking at the eye candy and talking, but I couldn't take someone who spends all their time on it seriously (I don't have it on my phone currently, and haven't in several months).
As far as hooking up goes, I've surprisingly had the best look in Craigslist's strictly platonic section. I've met 3 guys as friends and hooked up with them. OkCupid's pretty reliable too (so far I'm 3 for 4).
I have better luck on grindr than A4A.
I've heard some pretty scary stories about A4A.
But then again, I'm hot. Hot people have better luck on these sites.
I hope there's a backlash and people abandon these apps in droves, and then clubs open up again. Clubs where you can chill out and talk to people.
A4A's main audience seems to be "users", rather than "cruisers".
R11, not when there are gangs of young gaybees cackling in a circle, whilst loud horrible music plays.
Nobody meets anyone now in these settings. It's all about hanging with your friends and cackling.
I've met a lot of flakes on A4A, but I've met some good people.
A4A is a bunch of. "All talk and no action guys". And no one has current pictures. Do guys think you won't notice. I've actually laughed and walked out on a guy ( 1 or the 3 that actually wanted to meet up). Swear the picture was 5 years old and 40 pounds lighter. Grindr is an even bigger waste of time.. had lots of luck on manhant ... give that a try
Grindr is awesome. I meet cool dudes on there all the time for hookups, or just to chill and maybe smoke. I get some less than attractive guys hitting me up, but not too often. For the most part I'm hooking up with 9s and 10s.
I tried Adam4Adam a couple of years ago. It sucked.
I would never meet anyone from Adam4Adam. I assume everyone on there looking to hookup has STDs. It seems like so many people on there are out of control sexually, living promiscuous, non-selective sex lives. However, I do love all the attention and comments I get by having G-rated pics on the site. I just like the adoration, but there is no way I would meet the type of people that are on that site.
R17 = hummelduster
My boyfriend and I met on Adam 4 Adam. We have been together for more than a year.
R19 do you have one of those cute couple profiles that says "Happily Partnered....but play together".
Are the people on Cam4Cam are all exhibitionists that are wanna be porn stars? What to those people that view themselves gain from that website? do they get paid at all? Are they they freaks? No I'm not a frau nor a freepr but I was passing by on Cam4Cam and I poked in for curiosity. many of those people seem freaky as hell. Do these people have trouble having a normal date life or the can't get anyone because they maybe nuts?There was one manly guy on there who is gay and the guy is just beautiful. I was saying to myself, what the hell is that stud doing on there?!
r13, what is cackling?
A4A has completely gone down the drain now that they've implemented this new "conversations" feature. It just really sucks and makes you appreciate that much more the perfectly simple and straightforward email system they'd had for years. I really think it's going to give a lot of guys who may have already been thinking of canceling their accounts the final push they needed to kick A4A to the curb (like me).
As for the guys themselves, I agree that most of them are just there to play games and waste time, not make an actual connection with someone. I will never understand particularly the ones who constantly check out your profile (you know it because they're always popping up in your tracks list), yet if you say hello to them, they completely ignore you. Granted, maybe they're just genuinely not interested but yet there they are, again and again, turning up on my tracks list. Well, fuck, dude, if you're that intrigued that you have to constantly check out my profile, why don't you say something? Or why don't you answer when I say something to you?
Makes no sense.
I never realized how many of the profiles on a4a are fake. Once you come to that conclusion a lot of the weirdness of the interaction on that site makes sense. Well that and people are just weird.
We're just not that into you, R23
Apparently not, R25. That's why I'm moving on.
They have a lot of rules that they don't enforce like the ones pertaining to getting harassed, especially if you pay for a PRO ad. You can only reach their "customer service" by email. It's a Canadian-based company, so that figures.
I've never understood how people can get suckered by someone who posts an old picture from when they were younger and thinner.
Tell them to take a photo of themselves holding a current newspaper!
I believe All dating sites are really just for hook-ups, most GAY site have a lot of profiles that read, “ I just looking for friends, if you are just seeking friends, then why would you post a photo of yourself exposing your body? GAY dating site are what you make it, to me, it is all entertainment and fun. Men should not take these sites so serious!
In hookup / social networking it's all about having the (minimal) requirements of the group of people you want to attract. Money, good looks, or having something others want (talent, drugs, again: money, etc.) will help you to get the foot in the door, but your winning personality has to do the rest in order for the door to be kept open (if you want more than just a quick hook up).
That works for both the internet (dating and hookup) and the club / circuit scene.
A lot of profiles are fake - guys from asian or african countries - their pics give it away. They usually ask for my # which I never give out.
Not sure of their agenda, unless it's for text spams.
It's too black for me
Adam4Adam and services like it, are kind of a stupid tax thing.
I have been a member of a4a for a number of years and I have met a lot of very, very nice guys there. I guess all come to two main things, like in most on line dating for gay men, looks and age. a) the closer your look is to a main stream stereotype of good looks, if you don't have a six pack forget it, and b) your age, if you are over 35 your chances of hooking up will drop dramatically and you will be discriminated even by the over 35's themselves.
[quote]It just really sucks and makes you appreciate that much more the perfectly simple
A4A is too complicated for you?
Hey guys Michael Phelps posts here
I would be afraid of meeting anyone from A4A because the site has a high of people with STDs.
Post your a4a names, guys! Lets see what you got.
How can people claim to be on the down low and have face pics on such a site?
I agree R23, I have guys who look at my profile on a daily basis, if not hourly, yet when I look at theirs it shows they have blocked me and I have never said one thing to them. I don't know if they just want to reassure that i'm still blocked so that's why they look at my profile, but it infuriates me and I wish it didn't.
It puzzles me that someone would block you for just looking at their profile, not saying hi or anything, but just viewing it. I know my level when it comes to guys, and who to approach and who not to, but still. If someone messages me and i'm not intersted I let them know or just keep it on a clean level as to not lead down that road and hurt feelings, but we are gay, so feelings will be hurt no matter what.
I want to be rid of the site, but it's better than Manhunt (not going to pay for membership) and I don't like Growlr, Grindr, or whatever other gay app is out there and not a club/bar guy, so my choices are limited.
Go to a bar, at least you can see what you're actually getting.
[quote]Go to a bar
Except hardly anyone goes to bars anymore.
I met my current FB on A4A and we see each other at least once a week for a hot session. He is one of the hottest guys I've ever been with and the sex is pretty intense. Not to disappointed in the site anymore.
A4A is the worst. Looks so cheap, and its interface and functionality are at least ten years out of date. MH has done a much better job of staying current and competing with the new apps.
Their Ipad app sucks.
The owners of Adam4adam are too fucking cheap to upgrade there servers, The iphone app is the biggest POS online. I really thought apple actually reviewed apps b4 putting them online. Now we know they dont care about whats on the app store. One would think A4A would actually create a app which worked. There making bank and giving americans nothing in return. WHAT A POS APP. POS= Piece of SHIT
I met the man I love on a4a. I hope to marry him.
Anyone else having trouble with the site? For the past week or so, every time you log on, you click on anything and it kicks you out, then says you have to "please log in again." And the search function is also totally fucked.
I emailed tech support and they responded saying they know about the issue and are working on it, but that's been several days ago and it seems to only be getting worse, not better.
I've been having both those issues too.
I miss AOL. noe that was good times
OP sounds fat and ugly.
R47 yeah I've been having that issue too. It might take several tries, but eventually if you log in enough times it leaves you alone lol.
Anyway, my 2 cents...as in an the closet guy, I've found A4A to be useful. I don't hang out in bars or clubs (even the straight ones) so I wouldn't get the chance to meet guys I'm interested in if it weren't for sites like this.
Yes, there are many fakers on there. Yes, there are people who have STDs.
So far I have had pretty good turnout. Here's what I do:
A) if you see someone you like, or someone you like contacts you, CHAT FOR A BIT. Don't just decide to meet up that day, or even that weekend. That is crazy. I like to get a sense of the guy's personality and what he's looking for. If he's too impatient to wait a bit before meeting, I'm not interested and he's probably either fake or is an STD-ridden sex addict.
B) ask if the guy has a webcam/skype. I've done this multiple times and that ensures the guy in the pics is the same guy behind the profile. Sure, even today there is the occasional person who doesn't have a webcam, but if that's the case, ask him to email you an updated pic of himself with a newspaper or something.
C) For the first meeting, MAKE IT IN PUBLIC!! All those horror stories you hear about are usually from idiots who decide to meet a stranger at his or the stranger's home. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? IT's not safe. Get to know the guy a bit on the first meeting and then go your separate ways back home. If all goes well, then you can think about meeting him in private next time.
I joined the site in march 2011 and have gone on about 20 dates since that time. Of those 20, all of them were the person they said they were. Of those 20, a few became my friends. I've "gotten busy" with 5 of the guys and the others I never saw after the first date.
It is not the place to go if you want to avoid STDs.
A4A is great for me because I'm a fat troll. I can buy what I can't get for free.
All 'mos have STIs (no one calls them STDs anymore. That shows you are an elder gay)/
[quote]I'm always getting rabbitpunched by wimps and flakes
[quote]Clubs where you can chill out and talk to people.
When have clubs ever been like that? Bars are "where you can chill out and talk to people".
Hello, call me up soon +639105249191
I was on Manhunt for about a week, hoping to find a fuck buddy. I messaged probably like 12 guys and only heard back from one, and it never really went anywhere. I got around 15 messages myself but I wasn't interested in any of them. The whole thing began to mirror my real life experiences so much that I no longer saw the point and bailed. I guess the internet hook up scene isn't for me.
I've met tons of hot guys on there, and am now steadily dating one of them.
It matters not where you meet someone, if you are good for each other, as playboys or lovers.
r61, do you have high standards regarding your partners' prior sexual history and STI status? That is a serious question, not meant to be offensive.
Too high standards for a fuck buddy r60.
I was told to F--k no when all I did was send a smile on there. The guys are bitchy queens with all the attitude of Prima Donnas when most are druggies or diseased. Only met 2 people on that site in 4 years. I am not ugly but at 49 this site makes me feel like an antique. Would rather and still do the baths or bars. Bars now are no longer as cruisy in the US but more so in Europe. I prefer the old way.
I travel a lot for work and have found that app preference is pretty regional - A4A might be trolls in one city, hot guys in another.
It's all random - some weeks I might meet two or three hot guys online, other weeks no one.