- The twelve days of Christmas...
- All of them, if you keep your radio tuned to a 24-hour Christmas station long enough.
But really, it's this sappy, manipulative crap (I would hear this at least ten times a day when I lived in Arizona):
- I own this thread.
- Madge's "Santa Baby" featuring that annoying kewpie doll character she honed in "Who's That Girl?" Must....stop...NOW.
- "Last Christmas"
- I'm with r3.
- Yes, all of them. It would be a shorter task to list the ones I do like. "When My Heart Finds Christmas" by Harry Connick Jr and "Cantique de Noël" are pretty much it.
- John and Paul's are both atrocious for 2 great writers.
- Oh, and Mariah's "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)"; I love that despite my hatred of the holidays.
- Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
mashed up on Glee with
The Chipmunk Song
featuring Lea Michelle
- Grandma Got Run-Over by a Reindeer.
I loathe it.
- Off hand, I can't think of any I hate. I'm sure there must be some. But there are the truly horrible songs that are so deliciously awful that I love them. Case in point.
The Christmas Shoes
Mama needs new shoes cause she's meeting Jesus tonight. How can you not like that?
- Anne Murray's cover of "Christmas in Killarney"
Barbara Mandrell's "It Must Have Been The Mistletoe"
Oh god, please kill me before I get these songs stuck in my head.
- Chipmunk Song too. I loathe it deeply and eternally.
- Silver Bells, the worst Christmas song ever!
City sidewalks, busy sidewalks / Dressed in holiday style / In the air there's a feeling / Of Christmas / Children laughing, people passing / Meeting smile after ...
- "White Christmas."
- "Merry Christmas, Darling" is the only bad Carpenters song.
- Any version of "Carol of the Bells"
RING RING RING RING
Shoot me now
- "Melt With You" as used in the Hershey's chocolate commercial. Aaaaghghgh!!!
Also "My Favorite Things" from The Sound Of Music, which has fuck-all to do with Christmas
- I always thought Madonna was high when she recorded Santa Baby. She's definitely not singing the song the band's playing.
- A tie between:
"Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer." The cheap-ass cartoon is even worse.
- "Merry Christmas, Darling" is the only bad Carpenters song."
No it's not, they had a lot of crappy songs, in fact most of their songs were crappy and corny. "Top of the World", "Yesterday Once More" are two off the top of my head.
- Hate Mariah, her voice, her personality, her looks - - she has the worst catalogue of crap songs of almost any successful singer, but I loathe "All I Want For Christmas".
- All of those Childish ones like "up in a housetop" and "Rudolph" et al.
- I hate those choirs singing christmas hymns that they play in department stores .. reminds me of The Omen!
- "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" -- frantic and insipid, HATE it
"What Child Is This" -- depressing
- [quote]No it's not, they had a lot of crappy songs
You're right; I forgot about "Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft."
- Rudolph the fucking Reindeer!
- Any Christmas song sung by Aaron Neville....ARGGGGH!!!!
- Feeeeed the Wooooorrrrllllddd.. Let them know it's Christmastime againnnnnnnnnnn.....
- And while I'm at it:
"And so happy Christmas
For black and for white
For yellow and red ones
Let's stop all the fight..."
- Damn it, I clicked on this thread all eager to post about "Christmas Shoes" and R12 already beat me to it. I seriously think radio stations are just fucking with everyone when they have this as part of their regular holiday rotation. How the hell else do you explain a "holiday" song from a little boy's perspective talking about how it's Christmas Eve and his mom is about to die and they're so poor he can't even afford shoes to bury her in? If this isn't a giant practical joke, then it's indisputable proof that there is no Jesus.
And I just discovered that it has almost no dislikes on YouTube! WTF?
- "Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCrappney....truly a yuletide equivalent to razor blades slashing the eardrums.
- I will turn the radio off if I even hear The Christmas Shoes Without a doubt the worst song EVER
- I personally can't stand "Here Comes Santa Claus"
I mean religious songs like "Oh Holy Night" are quite beautiful and I have nothing against them. I love "Winter Wonderland" but "Here comes Santa Claus" is a children's song laced with religious allegory and I hate it on principle.
- Jingle Bells. It always sounds like it is being shouted.
- I know this is the hated thread, but...
I love George Takei's "I'm Dreaming of a White Penis" Christmas song.
- HATE Grandma Got Runover By A Reindeer
LOVE The Christmas Waltz (Peggy Lee). Every time, I'm right back in my sleeper PJs in the living room by the crackling fireplace with my cat, checking all the tags on the presents and wondering what Santa would bring. What happened? Why does it have to suck as an adult? I'd love to feel generous and happy with my 8yo niece, but she's a dismissive rude brat every year so I can't even enjoy that.
- "The Little Drummer Boy" - rumpapumpum, arrgh. And they seem to be playing the damn thing every single time I'm in the drug store or grocery.
- The Twelve Days of Christmas always has a bloated arrangement, just horrible
- Yes, R23. I tried to listen to "We've Only Just Begun" yesterday when it was on the radio (It had been years) and it was like a disjointed bizarro freak fest. Terrible, meaningless lyrics, odd vocals, ghastly harmonies, and Karen sounding like the control queen of all time, with every drop of life choked out of her voice as her Karo-Light-Corn-Syrup-and-varnish voice cynically proved the lie to every word without a lick of self awareness in her inauthenticity. I was exhausted when the thing was over - MARY!
BUT to the thread at hand.
I Hate IT CAME UPON A MIDNIGHT CLEAR and O HOLY NIGHT among the holies, and the Lennon/McCartney shit, the Grandma/Reindeer shit, and the fucking Mormon Tabernacle Choir version of SLEIGH RIDE when all 15,000 of the nitwits sing "When we pass around the CIDER and the pumpkin pie" because the cultists don't believe in coffee.
Meddling in everyone's business, shunning, gossiping, cheating non-Mormons, lying about their religion's tenets, hiding their assets, falsifying their history, and basing their faith on personal wealth and a patently insane cosmology - this they can embrace. But they can't sing the fucking word "coffee" when it's in a lyric.
- There are too many awful Christmas songs to proclaim just one as the most hated. I myself hate the following:
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by anybody
Sleigh Ride by anybody
Frosty the Snowman by anybody
Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree
Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time
Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
Merry Christmas, Darling by the Carpenters
Any Christmas song sung by any of Phil Spector's "girl groups"
Silent Night by Stevie Nicks
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Chrissie Hynde
The Christmas Shoes
Mary's Boy Child
Do They Know It's Christmas?
So This Is Christmas by John Lennon and Yoko Ono
I'm Gettin' Nuttin' for Christmas
Santa Baby by Madonna
- [quote]I tried to listen to "We've Only Just Begun" yesterday when it was on the radio (It had been years) and it was like a disjointed bizarro freak fest.
Wow. The Carpenters must be a generational thing. Eldergays like me mostly revere their songs; "We've Only Just Begun" et al. just evoke an early 70s mellowness that is long gone. I can see how, out of that context, their songs might sound annoying.
- Wow - that's a long list.
- [quote]Silent Night by Stevie Nicks
Oh my god, no shit! That has to be heard to be believed.
- [quote]I'm Gettin' Nuttin' for Christmas
Words cannot describe how much I loathe this one. It always enraged me as a child, then when I was in second grade my class had to sing it for the school Christmas assembly. Fuck whoever wrote that shit and thought it was "cute."
And even though it's been mentioned several times, here's another vote for "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime." Some of the most repetitive, unimaginative dreck ever written. If it wasn't by Paul McCartney no radio station would have ever played it.
- modern: Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime
classic: Good King Wenceslas, dull, thudding repetition and no bridge
- Wonderful Christmas Time: vile beyond words.
I just heard Carrie Underwood's version of "Hark the Heralds." I knew her name, but I don't think I've ever heard her sing. I hope I never repeat the experience.
- I know it's still early but after hearing "Feliz Navidad" for the 500th time I just want to scratch my eyes out
- The Chipmunk Song is entertaining when it's slowed down. It becomes the story of three guys terrorized by a demon.
- r34, I think you're as evil and as much an evil fuck as I am.
The comments are, well they are what they are. Here's my most favorite, most Christmasy comment.
"@rodriguezedward266 shut the fuck up you stipud mexican. thats what the true meaning of christamas is. giving to give. not giving to get...so maybe nexy time you need to watch what you say becuase there are some people who have lost there moms, and then for you to some something like that!! you should be lucky someone doesnt kick yuor ass you son of a bitch!"
- I loathe any Christmas songs by the Beach Boys.
- "Any Christmas song sung by any of Phil Spector's "girl groups"
Thank you. I thought it was only one who loathed them.
Hate the Jackson 5 Christmas songs too, particularly "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town". Creeps me out.
Actually, I hate just about ALL versions of "Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town".
- You hate "Oh Holy Night"? Really? I think that's one of the prettier hymns.
- I've always despised "Little Drummer Boy" and "Do You Hear What I Hear." No one can redeem that dreck.
Here's a palate cleanser:
- I loathe loathe.
- "White Christmas," sung by Katy Perry, is horrible. It's like listening to a meth addict singing about meth.
"All I Want for Christmas," howled and screeched and melisma-d to death my Mariah Carey doesn't even sound like a Christmas song.
- [quote]Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree
Fuck. this. song.
It's like an aural acid bath.
- On the other hand, I love George Michael's "Last Christmas".
I lived that song, more than once.
- One correction: I absolutely LOATHE the Glee version of "Last Christmas".
- Dominick, The Italian Christmas Donkey
- That's hilarious, R53! Nothing like showing someone what the true spirit of Christmas is all about by calling them a "stupid Mexican" (oh, I'm sorry, I meant a "stipud mexican").
- "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas"
- Christmas Shoes. GAH!!
- I know this is a thread about hated Christmas songs, but this is the BEST Christmas song ever written and recorded. It makes me cry every time I hear it.
It was written by Stephen Sondheim for Barbra Streisand's last Christmas album.
- [R67], did you mean THIS Christmas song? This is the one written by Stephen Sondheim, and it certainly is one of the most beautiful songs ever written:
(but "I'll Be Home For Christmas" is nothing to sneeze at, either)
- New York City Christmas - Ryan Adam
It just seemed so opportunistic and disingenuous to release it after 9/11. It always makes me vomit.
- Another vote for both the Beatle boys, dear God in heaven, they are horrible, horrible songs.
- "Christmas Island at Christmas Time" (lyrics by SS, music by Mary Rodgers) is my favorite Sondheim "Christmas" song.
A wonderful Christmas time!
- Another vote for "Feliz Navidad." When I lived in Southern California, that song received constant airplay during the entire month of December.
- Taylor Swift's version of "Silent Night." She can't carry a tune in a bucket.
Brenda Lee's "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree." Lousy singer - made it big because she started out as a little girl who sounded like a barroom brawler.
I've never heard Christmas Shoes but so many people hate it, that it's probably good luck that I've never heard it.
OTOH, for a great version of "White Christmas" Bernadette Peters and the cast of "Annie Get YOur Gun" did a beautiful job on this song for one of the Broadway Cares annual Christmas CDs.
- For you, 74. With Love.
- Oh, yes, Feliz Navidad. Even my Hispanic friends can't stand it.
- N'Sync butchered Donny Hathaway's "This Christmas". Just the thought of Justin's nasal whining attempt at falsetto makes me want to toss out my Christmas tree.
Same for Chris Brown's version but worse because he doesn't have other band members to drown out his pitchy out of tune voice.
However, the original is a gift to the ears and further proof that classic songs should generally be left to the original artists.
Linking to the version I like because linking to the others would be too cruel even for DL.
- Orchestral versions of "Sleigh Ride" are fine but the sung versions are annoying. The lyrics get in the way of the music.
Speaking of undesirable lyrics, "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" has some stinkers. "There'll be much mistletoeing" is awful and the reference to "marshmallows for toasting" seems out of place. The only ones I think of at Christmas are chocolate-covered marshmallow Santas.
- Anything sung by actual dogs or fake chipmunks
- another vote for how awful The xmas shoes is.
But, on the subject of really bad lyrics there is a xmas song sung by Frank Sinatra with the line about giving the tree the trim I really hate that line and that song.
- r78 - let's not forget "There'll be scary ghost stories. And tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago"
Who tells ghost stories at Christmas. Easter, maybe.
- I assumed that line was a reference to "A Christmas Carol," R81.
- I live in Seattle. There is a regional song called, "Christmas in the Northwest" that makes me wish to lose my hearing in an explosion, or maybe through some serious infection or illness.
- The Ray Conniff Singers changed the lyrics on "We Need A Little Christmas" and it ruins the whole song.
The line is "We need a little snappy, happy ever-after."
They sing, "We need a little something, happy ever-after."
There's an Andy Williams song where he's singing about Santa: "He'll be comin' down the chimney down."
When it comes to ghost stories, Christmas stories of this type were a Victorian tradition.
- Comment from The Christmas Shoes on Youtube:
You are a complete moron and here's why: 1) you cry over this piece of shit song every time (everytime is actually not a word, just like someofthetime is not a word); 2) you don't realize that the message of this song is that God has apparently decided to kill a woman and send her son on some weird mission so that this man can feel better about himself; and 3) it is "LOSER" not "LOOSER" you loser! I say all of this with a little dose of Jesus in my heart!
- Christmas Shoes
- Best ever:
Darlene Love's (Christmas) Baby Come Home and Christmastime for the Jews
- r23, in "Top of the World" one of them missed a cue, but it was left in.
- OK, never saw/heard X-mas shoes. And like a first timer, I teared up a bit, but fuck me mary, more than twice would be TORTURE.
And momma must have had pretty fucking sturdy feet with pontoons like that.
It ends with the kid entering a fucking hospital, BUT I picture 'Momma' as Daddy's husband dying of AIDS and the kid loves this man just as much...
- Any version of "Oh, Holy Night" where the vocalist sings "and yander waits a NUUU and glorius morn."
- Stevie Nicks' Silent Night needs to be redone as a duet with Rihanna.
Can you imagine the nasally phlegm oozing out of that one?
- "Away in a Manger." Sappy and lifeless tune, takes forever. Don't get me started on the lyrics.
- r81/r82, yes, apparently in England there is (or at least was in Victorian times) a tradition of telling ghost stories at Christmas, thus "A Christmas Carol" and my favorite, Jerome K. Jerome's "Told After Supper."
- Another vote for "The Little Drummer Boy." Ugh!
Most (but not all)of the religious songs are okay, except that there should be a law against country/western singers recording serious religious Christmas songs. They sound so fake and so horrible!
- Cassandra Wilson did a great 'little drummer boy'.
- If only they could all be like this. Who else would sing Christmas songs dressed completely in black leather?
- A singer named Carola mangles the lyrics of "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing."
Instead of "Hail the incarnate deity," she sings "Hail the in car Nate dye tee." No wonder it was a free mp3 download on Amazon music.
- r83, your post was the funniest thing I've read on DL in a long time.
- Only CHarles Schultz could make suicide seem like a viable holiday tradition.
- This wistful classic was cut from A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS.
I'm with r12 and few others:" Xmas Shoes" makes me want to get all stabby. My personal faves:
"Silent Night"--Temptation's version.Sheer vocal perfection. ALL the guys get to show off their singing chops. I'm not religious by any means, but this just gives me chills.
"Charlie Brown Christmas Soundtrack"--Vince Guaraldi. There is just something so wistful and melancholy about the music--almost an undertone of slight despair.
My "go to " Xmas music--"James Brown's Funky Christmas" It just ain't Christmas at Chez Moi without this fun and funky classic playing in the backround!
- Michael Bubleh, trying to sound cool, singing, "It's a holleh, jolleh Krizmus."
- This thread is as good a place as any for Mitzi Gaynor to make her annual appearance in "We Need a Little Christmas."
Both the song and Miss Mitzi's rendition are fine. It's the clumsy skaters in the background who make this a disastrous favorite.
- At its best the "Peanuts" strip had a sort of Cold War era existential angst. It was like Jules Feiffer for the masses. "A Charlie Brown Christmas" captures that perfectly.
- Any that use children's choirs.
Actually children should not be allowed to celebrate it or have fun. Or sing.
- Brilliant analysis, R104.
- [quote]Meddling in everyone's business, shunning, gossiping, cheating non-Mormons, lying about their religion's tenets, hiding their assets, falsifying their history, and basing their faith on personal wealth and a patently insane cosmology - this they can embrace. But they can't sing the fucking word "coffee" when it's in a lyric.
r43, this totally cheered me up on a crappy day. Hilarious.
- ANY Beach Boys Christmas song, but particularly "The Little Saint Nick".
Run Run Reindeer
- R90 you're wrong!!
Mariah's version is by far the best christmas song evah!
- "Cassandra Wilson did a great 'little drummer boy'.:
So did Joan Jett.
- "I'll Be Home for Christmas." Maudlin. And what's up with the line "and presents ON the tree?" Nobody puts presents ON the tree, they're under the tree. So to keep the one syllable word, why not say "presents 'neath the tree?"
Drives me crazy every time I hear it.
- r 111, "On the tree" drives me crazy as well. "'Round the tree' would be my choice, but yours is good too.
- r111 - It may sound maudling to you but in 1943, when the song was written and recorded, it meant a lot to millions of people.
- Major Bill Smith and Nancy Nolte -- Happy Birthday Jesus
- Baby It's Cold Outside
First because it isn't even a Christmas song, there is litterally no mention of Christmas, holidays, Santa, elves, or anything that might justify it being played round the clock this time of year
Secondly, I'm pretty sure the male voice in the song is a pedophile. Why else would the female character be so worried about mom and dad. Then it sound's like he might of slipped something in her drink.
Baby It's Cold Outside
I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice
My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry
Well Maybe just a half a drink more - Put some music on while I pour
The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink - No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, sir - Mind if I move a little closer
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense in hurting my pride
I really can't stay - Baby don't hold out
Ahh, but it's cold outside
- The Boney M Christmas album. All of it. Chances are any of the worst songs here heard in malls, some will be by this dreadful pre-Milli Vanilli German/Carribbean crew.
They've been plugging away since the seventies (Ma Baker, Rasputin, etc) then when they hit the skids, turned out this holiday album. Like VD, its with us forever.
- "Here Comes Santa Claus Here Comes Santa Claus (Right Down Santa Claus Lane)", especially the lyric "Let's give thanks to the Lord above 'cause Santa Claus comes tonight"
- [quote]I know it's still early but after hearing "Feliz Navidad" for the 500th time I just want to scratch my eyes out
Well it's not like you were using them R51.
- Baby It's Cold Outside is also called the 'date rape Xmas song'.
- Patton Oswalt dismantles that damn "Christmas Shoes" song:
- "Baby, It's Cold Outside" is definitely about a guy getting a very naive female drunk in order to fuck her. Cf. "Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow," in which the singer also clearly wants to get laid, but is willing to take "no" for an answer, and is serving popcorn, not Zombies.
- Thanks, r120. Go, Patton!
- OMG R116.....I finally had to hide my mother's Boney M Christmas CD....just couldn't stand it anymore. What they do to perfectly wonderful Christmas songs verges on the criminal!
- Celebrate Me Home by Kenny Loggins eats cock.
Sarah Maclaughlin's yodeling on God Rest Ye Merrie Gentleman is too precious for words.
- That was great, R120! Especially the part about Jesus being a bitchy queen who judges you based on your footwear.
- Get a grip, R15, the song was written in 1936. Scroll down and check out some of the covers that have been done.
Bing and Jimmy Stewart? Nureyev and Miss Piggy?
- Live Aid's - Do they Know It's Christmas, fuckin hate it!
At my work they're playing chrismas songs all day long every day. I have talked to administration to try to turn the radio off or change the radio station, to no avail.
All day xmas tunes on the radio is driving me fucking nuts.
And to make matters even worse, my cubemates are all humming out loud or singing along.
- "Cassandra Wilson did a great 'little drummer boy'.:
So did Joan Jett."
Bob Seger also did a good version of "Little Drummer Boy."
Back to hated Christmas songs:
I can't stand Bruce Springsteen's "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town." It's one of those overblown, Springsteen performances that probably sounded exciting back when it was released but now seems dopey and dated.
And there's some a cappella version of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" sung by a girl group that always makes me sick. I hear it one the radio during the Christmas season but I don't think I've ever heard the name of the group who does it. Dixie Chicks, maybe? At any rate, it's stupid and I hate it.
- Yet another vote for "LITTLE DRUMMER BOY." It's sacharine and so repetitive!
- I love Johnny Cash, but his version of the Little Drummer Boy was just awful.
- Hate Little Drummer Boy. Its like nails on a chalkboard for me. Can't stand it!
- "This Christmas" - all versions of it! Soppy power ballad that managed to irritate me more than even Wham. Ironically, I don't mind occasionally hearing "Last Christmas" now since I'm not bombarded by it like ten years ago!!!!! But 'This Christmas' after the first year of hearing it at work, I truly hated that song and it will be quite a while before I change my mind!!
- I loath that fucking frog song. Does anyone else think Paul McCrappy is starting to look like Liberace?
- Speaking of Jingle Bells, do any of you guys know the 89 version! It went "Jingle Bells,Batman Smells, Robin Laid an egg; the Batmobile lost its wheel and the Joker got away!!! Coincided with Tim Burton's Batman and very popular in Ireland at the time!"!!!! This was the soundtrack to my childhood. You can take all your nations xenophobia into one complex rhyme and Bob's your uncle!!!
- Springsteen doing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" is absolutely painful.
Any version of "The Little Drummer Boy" with Peter Gabriel's being the worst. And I am saying that as someone who has loved him for years.
- JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS JINGLE ALL THE WAAAAAY.
OOOH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE IN A FUCKING SLEIGH!
- Does it ever actually snow in Africa at Christmas time or any time of the year? Do they know or even give a shit if it's Christmas?
Feed the World has got to be one of the stupidest songs ever written.
- Thank you, r127!
I thought I was the only one who loathed "Do They Know It's Christmas". I cringe every time I hear those utterly heterogenous vocals and meaningless lyrics.
Do they know it's Christmastime at all? Of course they do, it's food they're lacking, not calendars!
- Either "Merry XMas (War is Over)" or "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime."
The Beatles have a LOT to answer for, IMO.
- I do rather like Jimmy James' "Feliz Navidad."
- Jingle Bells, Santa smells fifteen miles away,
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a broke-down Chevrolet.
Popular in suburban Detroit elementary school playgrounds circa the Mad Men era.
- When I was a toddler, I remember being terrified of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town."
He sees when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake.
Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha !
WHO IS THIS PERSON? IS HE A STALKER? WHY IS HE WATCHING ME?
I'M GOING TO BE MURDERED IN MY CRIB!
- [quote]Does it ever actually snow in Africa at Christmas time...
South of the equator, Christmas comes at the beginning of summer. It usually doesn't snow in Africa in summer weather. I remember when you were Miss Teen South Carolina, R137. Do you still enter beauty contests?
- Back when Macy's had a book department, I remember going there and The Nutcracker was playing. I went back la few days later to pick up a book I'd ordered and Nutcracker was playing again. I made a remark about how I was here before and the same part of the suite had been playing and they told me that was the only music played in that department. All day. All night. Every day for a
I would totally go insane.
- In South Africa, where I live, its blazing sunshine now. This does not stop the shopping malls from laying it on thick for a 'traditional' Christmas - with fake snow sprayed on storefronts, and a sweltering Santa in his red suit outside. The idea of a guy dressing up in boots and full suit in 30 degree (celcius) heat is crazy. My earliest childhood memories of Santa was that he always smelled of sweat.
- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
can discern creepy from cute
- R75 Never heard it before. Appalling. Thanks a fricken bunch. LOL.
- "Santa Baby"-it's about a gold-digging ho without representation.
- I never paid much attention to "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas." For one thing, I thought it was by Gilbert O'Sullivan. I found out on Datalounge that it was Paul McCartney's song. The virulence with which people regarded the song was funny to me, so whenever I was in a shop and the song came on, I started to laugh.
Now I actually like the song, because it makes me smile.
- Someone start a thread for this!! My hedgehogs keep dying!!
- Man this thread died fast.
Kenny Rogers' Christmas in America.
HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! AMERICA!
They sing it like it was spelled Amerikkka.
- I can't believe I have never heard of "The Christmas Shoes" before this thread. Gad. How treacly.
That was wonderful R120. The animation was pretty funny too. If you can't bear to sit through a recording of it - click on R120. It tells you everything you need to know.
I also had never heard Madonna's version of "Santa Baby" until today. WTF was she thinking? It's horrendous. Sorry - whore-rendous.
- Merry XMas (War is Over)
It always sound like a depressing funeral march. They should play for whenever world leaders, like Vaclav Havel or Kim Jong-il, die at Christmas time.
- Most of you people sound like you need to attend anger management sessions.
- [quote][R78] - let's not forget "There'll be scary ghost stories. And tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago" Who tells ghost stories at Christmas.
Actually, there's a very famous tradition of ghost stories told at Christmas, going way back into the 19th century in England and Canada. "A Christmas Carol" is the most famous example, but so is Dickens' other Christmas book "The bells," and Robertson Davies wrote an anthology of Christmas ghost stories, "The Merry Heart."
It's not a tradition in the United States, but that doesn't mean it's not a tradition in other places.
- There's a new contender this year: Michael Buble's version of "Santa Baby" changed to "Santa Buddy" and "Santa Pally" just so you won't think he's gay. Um, the whole point of the song is the coy flirtation of the singer using sexy wiles to get 'stuff' from Santa. It's not a great song but removing that aspect makes it unbearable. A male singer could do it in a camp way to make it funny but dull as dirt Buble is not the one to pull that off.
- As much as I love Kim Carnes listening to her groan her way through "Away In A Manger" is painful. They even force a children's choir into the mess.
- "Actually, there's a very famous tradition of ghost stories told at Christmas, going way back into the 19th century in England and Canada"
Don't forget MR James...
- [quote]"Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer." The cheap-ass cartoon is even worse.
- r157, that's unforgivable, especially since as marriage equality proliferates it could very well be sung in the traditional way by a twink.
- Love Ms. Karen Carpenter's singing, but Merry Christmas, Darling makes me want to slit my wrists and/or jump out the window.
- [quote]"I'll Be Home for Christmas." Maudlin.
Because it was about soldiers who were fighting in WWII and couldn't come home for Christmas or maybe ever, dumbass.
In the original and correct version, it's "presents under the tree".
Christ, you people are stupid.
- Christmas Shoes. Its sad and awful. Also, why does the mom need shoes of all things to meet Jesus??
- This thread comes round every year and I look forward to it. One year someone said they hated "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time" because of all the "diarrhea noises" throughout the song. You know, they were right!
- That awful friggin dog barking "Jingle Bells"...what an annoying song.
- I loathe Bing Crosby's "White Christmas." he sounds like a fucking lush singing.
I love The Waitresses' "Christmas Wrapping."
I especially adore "What Child Is This," but only when performed by The Jingle Cats!
- "He'll Be Coming Down The Chimney, Down" - Andy Williams
- I finally heard Christmas Shoes and agree it is horrifically annoying. Then a few days later I went to a fund raiser for a local charity and the entertainment was a theater group of the deaf and hard of hearing who did sign language to Christmas songs.
I nearly had to excuse myself when they started signing Christmas Shoes. If you think it is hokey manipulative bologna, then you have NO IDEA what experience it is as children are signing "momma's going to meet Jesus tonight".
I peed myself.
- Blue Christmas by Elvis Presley.
Every time I hear it, I get an asthma attack - and I don't even have asthma...
- there aren't too many songs that I particularly cringe at.. however.. at work they had a mix cd of both new songs and christmas songs that they would keep on repeat.. now.. most were okay.. but this one song.. I don't know what it is.. but it sounds like a guys sitting in the middle of the Caribbean trying wayy too hard to seduce someone with his god awful voice. Everything about this song is just wrong. Every time I hear the first hint of it, I want to rip my ears off of my head.
- That melekalikimaka song that's in Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Is it Bing Crosby? He sounds drunk.
- Hositle the Snowman hated everybody's guts
And at four foot three
Full of misery
The man was just plain nuts
Up and down
The streets of town
He shot the traffic cop
And he only paused a moment, to watch the cop, drop, plop
- I also vote for Feliz Navidad and Little Drummer Boy--both should be banned forever. I think torture would be to have to listen to many of the "songs" listed here without any indication of there being an end, which the month of December comes close to being; Jose Feliciano and Burl Ives at their absolute worst, not to mention Paul McCartney. Also, why is it that one hears "Jingle Bells" always around xmas time yet there is not one reference to "Christmas" in the entire song? There was also a mention of the Carpenters being a favorite of the "eldergays", well, I am 58, lived through hearing the Carpenters ad nauseam through the '70s and hated them then and hate their music now. Karen Carpenter is long gone but don't know about her brother, maybe he got gigs in Las Vegas playing the piano.
- The Carpenters' "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" is the only one I truly like. Karen's voice adds this tinge of melancholy that makes the song full of depth.
Yes, I know....MARY!!!
- run run rudolph santa's gotta make it to town is hardly ever played but the other schlock is on a constant loop. tell him he can take the freeway down...and away ran rudolph spinning like a merry go round.
speaking of rudolph, is it diana ross who does the reindeer roll call? rudolph, where's rudolph??..like he's just such a fuckup shirking his responsibilities. ugh.
- Mahalia Jackson's Silent Night. The fucking bitch destroyed the pure simplicity of the melody with her over-singing.
- R177, oh no you di'int!!!
- The fraus in my office listed to an easy listening station that is non-stop Christmas songs from December 1 on. The station especially loves this hokey 1950s song about wanting a hippopotimus for Christmas and it plays several times a day. They also play 'All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth' at least 2x a day.
That station will be playing from 7am - 6pm every M-F for the next few weeks. Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh.
- [quote]Merry Christmas, Darling makes me want to slit my wrists and/or jump out the window.
Then by all means, please do us a favour and listen to that song right now.
- R164 I'm with you there. The Christmas Shoes has got to be the worst. It owns this thread.
- Baby it's Cold Outside by Colbie Caillat and Gavin Degraw - worst combo ever!!
- "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" sung by Burl Ives
- R183 noooooooooo I love that one, From Rudolph.
- It will always be "Last Christmas."
- Last Christmas
All I Want for Christmas
Any little drummer boy rendition
I love the Carpenters Merry Christmas Darling.
- My friends and I have been cracking up for the last 2 years at Annie Lennox yelling "The Holly and the Ivy."
- Bruce Springsteen's version of "Santa Claus is Coming To Town" is godawful. The song is awful anyway, but his version is done in that overblown, raucous style of his that makes it sound even worse. But the song is terrible no matter who does it.
- [quote]Baby it's Cold Outside by Colbie Caillat and Gavin Degraw - worst combo ever!!
The version with Joey McIntyre and another male singer is quite good, actually. I was actually surprised how gay it was!
- r187, I have to admit that I do like Annie Lennox in the "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" version she did but haven't heard "The Holly and the Ivy", but I'll take your word for it that it is terrible. Generally speaking I can't stand Christmas music and always make my trips to the grocery store during December as quick as possible so I won't be exposed to the shlocky music they play.
- Dominick the Donkey. That is a christmas song, right? Hate that song.
Christmas Shoes should be boycotted completely and the man who wrote it shot - EVERYONE hates that song.
I love Baby It's cold outside. The version the Glee boys did was fab, cute video too.
- Christmas Shoes. It's the most depressing shit ever and the first time I heard it I had to pull over and cry for about 10 minutes. Precious shopping time wasted!
- I find All I Want for Christmas to be insanely catchy, much as I hate all of Mimi's other stuff. Sometimes I find myself singing and bopping along during moments of great holiday stress.
Christmas Shoes does indeed own this thread. It has a lot of company, but... it's the worst of the worst.
- There is only one valid answer: Ritchie Petrie's off-key rendition of "The Little Drummer Boy."
- Ugh it's that time again.
- This has been driving me nuts for several years--who did/what is the name of the song sung off-key by some little bastard intoning "Merry, merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas to youuuuuuuuu..."? I want send it to my brother to annoy him.