[quote]Hell hath no fury like a scorned producer, because David claims that Guy forced Food Network to fire him from DDD and so now he's telling everyone what a complete tool Guy is:
[quote]On women: "You have to protect Guy from all of his poop jokes," Page says. "Anytime any woman mentioned 'cream,' Guy went into a sexual riff. When cutting the show, you had to tell the editors to watch Guy's eye line, because it's always on breasts."
[quote]On gays: Fieri also needed protection from homosexuals, or at least advance warning. Early in the show's run, Page got a phone call from Fieri, who'd just walked out of a restaurant in a huff. "
[quote]Guy had decided that the two men running the restaurant were life partners," Page remembers. "He said, 'You can't send me to talk to gay people without warning! Those people weird me out!'" From then on, show researchers were required to note any indications of homosexuality detected during pre-interviews.
[quote]On Jews: "Guy said to me: 'You know, it's true: Jews are cheap.
I'm not surprised but what are his comments about his pot belly?
Disgusting fool. I hope this is the end of him.
Didn't his sister used to post on DL briefly?
This from a man who looks like an obese lesbian who got a deal on Clairol Natural Instincts.
I always thought fierie lookrd like bleached blond hufferqueen who had been mugged repeatedly by a tasteless gorilla.
Guy Fieri weirds me out.
I welcome anything that contributes to the demise of this sleazy gaffone.
The show is pretty disgusting itself.
Some of those places have no buisness being highlighted.
OH LOOK! This local joint deep fries everything from grilled cheese, to hambugers, HOW ORIGINAL!!!
I do like the fact that they prmote local joint but really.
Diners, Drive Ins, and Douchebags, indeed.
Well, his hair weirds me out, so I guess we're even.
Anthony Bourdain was on Morning Joe a while ago and blasted Fieri as a fake chef. He said something like he's not even qualified to be serving drinks at a Hard Rock Cafe, adding that it's disgusting how a lot of bling and wearing your sunglasses backwards gets you a cooking show that specializes in how to add chipolte to everything.
Anthony Bourdain hates on everyone and is not much of a real chef himself to be fair.
I love R6. His schtick is completely absurd. And I can't believe someone going into the culinary field has the audacity to be disturbed that you might encounter...the gays!
What a disgusting pig.
Guy looks like he'd ooze bacon grease if you pricked him with a needle.
"sexist", "bigoted", "homophobe"...
This could all be true, but it also has the markings of potentially being pay back by someone he's pissed off, and I say that as a gay man who isn't always ready to believe everything I read.
I still find him a disgusting buffoon however.
With all of his primping, bleach and jewelry, I thought he wanted people to think he was gay!
I don't even know who the hell this guy even is. Thanks DL, now I know his name.
I demand national media coverage of this and his stomach stapled to every bulletin board in American advertising his homophobia!
What I HATE is when he says "MMMMM" every time he takes a bite of anything -- sometimes BEFORE it's in his fat mouth.
Fieri is the epitome of a "mook". He looks like garbage, and now we know he acts like garbage. So what do we do with garbage? We throw it out!
The NY Times had an article about Fieri's popularity with straight men. Additionally, Food Network has been trying to attract straight men disgusting programs like how much food you can smash in your mouth (now cancelled), looking for beef (haven't seen it on lately), heat seekers (still on), and tailgate contests (new).
Food + slobs = want straight men watch
My bf worked with her a few years ago and she needed a cocktail @ 9am.
Enough said. She's an ugly pig from hell. Cheers!
He is truly gross. Last thing that man makes anyone feel would be hunger of all things on that shit show he has.
He just opened a restaurant in Santa Rosa, lots of gay people in Sonoma County. Maybe we need to hold a kiss in!
Fieri looks like Paula Deen in FTM drag.
He's wrong about some things, but right about others. If you know what I mean.
I don't, R24.
Sounds like an immature frat boy, but on camera he is likeable, particularly with someone's mother.
[quote]but on camera he is likeable, particularly with someone's mother.
"Fieri looks like Paula Deen in FTM drag."
No, he looks like Anne Burell. He stole her look!
"Sounds like an immature frat boy"
Straight guys love that shit!
I blame Susie Fogelson.
r10, Bourdain shouldn't talk.
I think the concept is good, regardless of the host's oozing douchebag.
They do feature more places with trained chefs who are cooking affordable, scratch food than when they started.
Of course DL had a 300 reply flame war over 'proper' mayo back in the day; I shouldn't expect you guys to accept the premise.
Guy Ferry. Look it up.
He is probably a douche, but I have always loved his restaurants.
[quote]On women: "You have to protect Guy from all of his poop jokes," Page says. "Anytime any woman mentioned 'cream,' Guy went into a sexual riff. When cutting the show, you had to tell the editors to watch Guy's eye line, because it's always on breasts."
[quote] On gays: Fieri also needed protection from homosexuals, or at least advance warning. Early in the show's run, Page got a phone call from Fieri, who'd just walked out of a restaurant in a huff. "
No big deal. His career won't suffer.
[quote]On Jews: "Guy said to me: 'You know, it's true: Jews are cheap.
And there goes his career.
white trash in the kitchen
Warn me in advance
R36, whether he really said that or not, the point is to get him to grovel before them in the media.
Fieri was raised off the grid by hippies in Humboldt County in northern California. (True story.) I think the way he's embraced the white-trash aspects of middle America is just an overreaction to his upbringing.
@r3, IIRC, his lesbian sister, who lives in Oregon, used to post here, but I can't remember what her comments were about him.
I find it hard to believe that a bear magnet with all the primping and jewelry, raised in N. Calif., and with a restaurant in Sonoma County, could be homophobic. Douchebag, maybe, but not homophobic.
@r20, being a fat, sweaty alcoholic myself, I've always suspected he's a member of that club, too.
"Weird me out?"
What is he 15? Grow up you fucking fool.
His people released a statement denying everything. They say it was all made up.
Not surprising. Wonder what would happen if Food Network received messages about this?
They can deny everything, but if he is a raving phobic idiot who was unable to hide his disgust for gays and Jews, then there will be others speaking out, at least anonymously or on background. Time will tell.
"Guy weirds me out" phat phuck
A disgruntled former employee who blames Fieri for the loss of his job? Yeah, he sounds credible.
R40, he is a normal semi punk/rockabilly looking straight guy for Sonoma County. It's a thing there.
I always thought he must have had dirt on one fo the FN bigwigs or was blowing one of them or he'd never have had a show anyway.
I watched the Next FN Star the season he won, and couldn't believe it, as he was so unappealing.
The big mystery, however, was that in a very short time he had more shows and was showing up as a network spokesman in all kinds of places.
Ugly, rude, off-putting, arrogant, disgusting. I don't think I ever watched any of his shows for more than two or three minutes without turning the station.
That said, what was this guy thinking, spilling dirt publicly on his former associate? Does he not know this will reflect poorly on him when he's looking for work?
R17 I just started noticing how he moans "mmmm" right before his jaw unhinges. Never noticed it before. I like seeing the different restaurants but the patrons interview are always the same:
"It's made with love".
"Always fresh ingredients"
Not sure how you can tell when a hamburger is made with love but those 2 quotes are on every show. It should be a drinking game.
R46, I agree with you. How do you know how creditable this information is? The employee could have been a real asshole who was fired and he is getting revenge on Guy Fieri. If Guy he was raised by hippy parents, then on the contrary, he would be very open minded. I used to work with people who were children of hippies, and their outlook on society was totally open and liberal.
Bourdain is a complete arrogant piece of shit who had a show based on the culinary palate of eating worms, bugs, insects, spiders etc. And he said we showed embrace eating bugs etc. because we should embrace their cultures those who do eat bugs etc. Many of these countries he went to on his previous show were third world nations, and the people are so dirt poor they have no choice but to eat bugs and other gross and disgusting things.
Also, a doctor once said that when a human being digests a beetle, its body breaks down in the human body and some chemical in the beetle’s body is released into a person’s liver and damages the liver to the point the person needs a liver transplant. Bourdain thinks he is so intellectual when in reality he is a complete imbecile. Also, the guy is completely butt ugly.
Why is it always the very unattractive fatties who fear fags?
Bourdain is no chef either. Entertaining, sure, chef? No, not in a million years.
I live in Sonoma County and I've met Guy Fieri at least twice and he was extremely humble and sweet. I don't have any other experience with him except for running into him.
Not that it matters but I am 100% Jewish, female, light brown hair and grey blue eyes & not a huge nose...maybe he didn't realize that I'm Jewish. Dunno.
His restaurants are terrible, just like Bourdain's.
The ONLY famous chef that actually cooks every day at his restaurant is Michael Chiarello. It seems like all the famous chefs never cook/ never cook anymore/ or were awful cooks. Michael Chiarello is the exception to the rule & Bottega is fucking great, maybe the greatest restaurant in Yountville or the USA.
You can actually SEE Chiarello at Bottega btw.
Thomas Keller of The French Laundry hasn't cooked there in at least a decade or more.
Fuck, forgot the most important thing about Guy Fieri! He's really Irish, not Italian and his REAL NAME is GUY FERRY!!! No lie look it up on Wikipedia. It's a huge joke to us out here in Sonoma County.
Thank you for that fit of info, R53. I [italic]love[/italic] Michael Chiarello. It's good to know his nice-guy appearance is not an act.
"From then on, show researchers were required to note any indications of homosexuality detected during pre-interviews"
Words fail me...
I believe the author and he must have some proof--wouldn't Fieri/Ferry be able to sue for slander/libel otherwise?
Paula Deen on Joy Behar after Anthony Bourdain called her "the most dangerous person to America, and said "her cooking is fucking bad for you"....
[quote]Bourdain is a complete arrogant piece of shit who had a show based on the culinary palate of eating worms, bugs, insects, spiders etc. And he said we showed embrace eating bugs etc. because we should embrace their cultures those who do eat bugs etc. Many of these countries he went to on his previous show were third world nations, and the people are so dirt poor they have no choice but to eat bugs and other gross and disgusting things
You are entitled to your opinion of Bourdain. For the most part I like him - I don't agree with the things he has said about Tyler Florence, Paula or Jamie Oliver, whom he launched a really nasty snark on a few years back. And his show with The Queens of the Stone Age made him look like an obsequious poseur kissing up to the lead singer.
But never, not once has he advocated that everyone travel to an exotic place to eat bugs and worms. The overwhelming majority of the foods that he eats in these countries are simple uncomplicated fare. Most foods, even "haute cuisine" has its roots in the kitchens of poor working people - he has said this over and over.
Yes, he has eaten really nasty shit - like that warthog rectum in Namibia. But that was his choice - his argument being that when a host offers you food, they are offering you a part of themselves. If you go to Costa Rica and someone invites you to their home to eat a dish of beans and rice, he says you'd be rude not to eat it. But what are your chances of going there? Or even to Namibia to eat warthog anus???
I do agree with his comments on Fieri and that annoying opportunist blonde hack Sandra Lee.
R58, Paula Deen defends herself well in that clip with Behar, but he's correct she promotes food and a way of life that kills people.
Guy is a fat load who panders to fat fraus and their fat trailer trash, football jersey wearing husbands.
If he finds a restaurant with tacky "flair" on the wall and that drowns its food in cheese, gravy or lard, he fucking LOVES. IT.
He's just a stupid man with the world's worst hair coloring, and his opinion is about as relevant as shit.
I watch DDD but am really turned off by Fieri. He is such a pig! If owned one of the places he visits and he reached for some meat or sauce or anthing else with his fat fingers he would be pulling back a stump. I hate his look, by some shoes for Chrissake! He epitomizes all the worst in our culture today. He is rude, sloppy, personally unattractive, greedy and stupid.
What is DDD? A show about huge breasts?
I don't imagine Anthony Bourdain is that comfortable with gays either. And he totally gives out the letch vibe as well.
I'm surprised that AB doesn't travel with a mirror attached so he can continually admire himself - with another mirror attached near his ass so he can watch himself take a dump.
[quote] What is DDD? A show about huge breasts?
Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives
Triple D is a MUCH better show that Guy Fieri's Guy's Big Bite or whatever the hell his own show is called.
Guy can eat, but he sure can't cook or even fix a sandwich. His idea of a sandwich is to throw the kitchen sink in a bowl, add barbecue sause and put it in a wrap. Then put in mouth and say, mmmmmmm.
[quote]His restaurants are terrible, just like Bourdain's.
Bourdain does not have a restaurant. He actually has never had a restaurant. You had me going until you fucked up on that bit.
Bourdain looks like someone in the latter stages of lung cancer. His skin is positively grey. I afraid to even want to imagine what his breath smells like. I'm guessing 3 day old cigarettes, bourbon, and meth.
Fieri is a freak. And incredibly unpleasant.
The people bashing Bourdain? Get your own thread, bitches!
His restaurants are good. Have you even been to them? It's weird that he lives grilled cheese and diners so much when his restaurants feature creative menus and a much flashier interior than a diner! I think he is on shows because he has a distinctive appearance and can host a show. I think his fans probably wouldn't be into his Asian fusion, and are probably oblivious to it.
R70, how 'bout you eat shit and die, BITCH!
I gotta say, this is the sort of thing that gradually makes me stop watching a show. It's pretty devastating for his television career. And yeah DDD is on my tivo list. But probably not for much longer.
[quote]Bourdain does not have a restaurant. He actually has never had a restaurant. You had me going until you fucked up on that bit.
Brasserie Les Halles in NYC
I gotta agree R73. I enjoyed watching DDD but now I will never be able to watch it again.
I know it's the hot thing to assume everything we hear is true, but maybe we want to wait and confirm this before we condemn him to death?
He just strikes me as way too laid-back to be a homophobe, and since he doesn't seem to be a great actor (understatement), he's pulled off being very friendly with gay contestants on "The Next Food Network Chef". Not to mention being major pals with Anne Burrell (am I wrong to assume she's gay?).
I don't know. This feels wrong. I've been majorly gullible before, and I'll take him off TiVo (well, he's not on it, but I'll change the channel when I have insomnia) and fire off vicious letters to Food Network (which has a gay following, they MUST know) if it's true...
... but I'm going to wait till I'm sure.
Unlike a lot of you, I think he seems fun, funny, and easy-going (which is why I watch). He makes me laugh.
It's r53 aka Sonoma Cty here again.
Link is to a review of Johnny Garlic's by people in Sonoma County (aka locals) on Yelp.
It's good food, not great. When we first got here in Sonoma County we didn't know who he was & he set up at the Sonoma County Fair with food that we liked a lot & met him for the first time then.
Really nice guy. Food was good at the fair, not great. Since then I've run into him shopping a couple of times - we shop at the same market. He comes in with several people, he must live near me.
I've also seen the infamous car around that got stolen, dunno whether he got it back or not.
His other restaurant Tex Wasabi's was a super popular sushi place that was super popular in downtown, never went there but people loved that one. I'm sure there's reviews of it.
As far as Bourdain & the person who "doubts" me, he is part owner of Les Halles, which he says on his tv show & they made him an honorary chef there, & they claim (as well as he claims) that he cooks there on occasion.
"DDD" is a nice enough mindless show, but it could be hosted by absolutely anyone who can fake a bit of cheerfuclness for the camera. Guy had better not piss too many people off, or he'll come in one day and find that Sunny Anderson has been given his job.
I like Anthony Bourdain. Not only do I like food-centric travel shows, the man brings pointless bitchery to a field where it's been lacking.
"Diners, Drive-ins and a Douche-bag" would be more like it.
He was executive chef at Les Halles in NYC in the 90s.
[quote]I don't imagine Anthony Bourdain is that comfortable with gays either. And he totally gives out the letch vibe as well.
Also misogynist -- women are for fucking & nothing else.
I don't know about Bourdain and the anti-gay thing. I've seen some shoes where his guides were clearly gay, and he seemed to be enjoying himself while being shown around.
As for his being a misogynist - haven't you seen the three episodes where his wife appeared? She comes across as opinionated and snarky as he is.
As for Fieri . . . I don't know. I just have a problem with fat guys in general.
R74 He does not own it or founded it or anything like that. He used to be the Chef. Bourdain hasn't a restaurant at all. R53 was caught in a lie upthread because of that.
No big deal. No big deal at all.
I like Bourdain but he almost never visits women chefs...unless they are from some foreign village making tortillas.
So true, R41. Point in case, that fat fuck Artie Lange.
You're not a chef unless you own the restaurant?
Bourdain was never a celebrity chef, never owned a restaurant or had a cooking show. He was a working cook and chef, who made his name as a food writer ("Kithen Confidential"), and TV personality. He's never made any claim to be a great chef.
But he's probably a better cook than Fieri, who made his name by putting chicken into fettucini Alfredo.
[quote]But he's probably a better cook than Fieri, who made his name by putting chicken into fettucini Alfredo.
R87, that's where it belongs.
r59, since you asked:
[quote]If you go to Costa Rica and someone invites you to their home to eat a dish of beans and rice, he says you'd be rude not to eat it. But what are your chances of going there?
Actually, I go down at least every other year to visit my niece in her town in the rainforest. She has wonderful neighbors. While taking long strolls with her dogs at mid-day, I've been invited in by total strangers (well, everybody knows her, the dogs, and that her uncle's in town) for lunch. Gallo Pinto (rice and beans) is often served with yummy spicy stewed chicken raised in the yard.
Everyone seems to hang out on their porches when it's not raining. On my trip this time a middle-aged guy climbed up one of his trees to get a few coconuts, hacked them up with a machete, and served fresh coconut water with lunch. Inside of what might look like a tin shack, you'll see hardwood floors, flat screen TV's, tiled bathrooms, and every modern kitchen appliance imaginable. The guy's wife wanted to gossip about my niece who divorced her asshole husband a few years ago. It was a scream! We ended up drinking most of the 6-pack I had been carrying home.
Costa Rica is a relatively modern, safe, non-violent country. You need to get out more.
Hiis psychoses are SO transparent. He's fat, ugly and has a small dick. It's all over the Internet. (the teensy meat). Easy to find. Not worth the trouble linking it. .. p.s. He's not too bright either. His recipes are .. meh.
Months ago, satcaster DirecTV added Guy Fieri in 3D.
One reason I'm glad I don't have a 3D high def teleivsion.
You can tell when he doesn't like the food. When he loves it he goes out of his way to praise it, many times it's just fine, but when it's bad he says something like "Yep, that a meatloaf sandwich, all right".
I always laugh at that.
He makes millions of dollars for eating food, who wouldn't like that?
On the other hand, he'll probably die early.
No r83 - I did not "lie". Les Halles is a shit restaurant like Fieri's restaurants.
If you fucking bothered to READ the POINT I made was that Michael Chiarello is the only famous chef that still COOKS in a restaurant. Daily.
Bourdain was an aside to that post. FFS, you are a jerk and an idiot.
Regarding famous chefs, I haven't eaten at any of her restaurants and she's only famous in Yountville, but Cindy Pawlcyn is supposed to be amazing. She was around before Keller. I need to try Brasserie, which was GoFish, she has 3 Yountville restaurants which all get rave reviews. She still cooks daily at Brasserie from what I understand.
I think Bourdain is very comfortable around gay men, having lived in Provincetown for a time. He's never given me a homophobic vibe, and I wouldn't doubt he'd dabble in same-sex behavior on occasion.
His hair weirds me out.
"Man Vs. Food" is basically a knock off of DDD except Adam makes a stupid pig of himself at the end by attempting a food challenge.
Is Adam on "Man v Food" really eating all that? I don't believe he is; but if someone know for sure....
Adam Richman and Andrew Zimmern give Fieri a run for his money in the douchebag department. Why does Adam have a show where he tries to eat himself into oblivion, and if he can't eat it all - he goes off-camera to VOMIT it all up? And he's so nellie at times and has a really nasty haircut.
And Zimmern always has that annoying smirk on his face when he's visiting these countries, and he makes these patronizing and condescending statements to many of the people he interacts with. Sometimes I wish someone would poison him with a blowdart or something. And with all that gross food he stuffs himself with, you know not to use the bathroom right after he's used it.
I love my gays--isn't that right, T.R.? It's sick kids that weird me out!
R74, That isn't his restaurant. He worked there. He doesn't own it. Never did. Never claimed to. R53 is a liar and is now backtracking. AB hasn't been involved with Les Halles in over a decade.
According to someone else, Guy is a dumb asshole and everything that is coming out about him is 100% true
Has Guy Fieri commented on the wall street bankers yet?
A couple of places near me have been featured on his show - neither of them is remotely a diner or a dive (we have plenty of those... why he's never been to any of them is a mystery).
Apparently when he's done he (or an assistant) takes a stencil that has a caricature of his face and sprays the stencil onto the wall ... the INSIDE wall ... in bright orange paint. I guess it would be OK in a real diner, but in a regular restaurant, it looks awful.
But I asked about it one day and a staffer told me, "See how it's directly opposite the front door? There are people from other states who travel to go to all of his restaurants, and they walk in and know they're in the right place."
She also said receipts at the restaurant doubled the year after the episode first aired.
So he's a douchebag, but an influential one with a certain demographic.
r101 dear, you're the liar. From Les Halles website
"Brasserie Les Halles is the home base of Chef-at-large Anthony Bourdain."
Bourdain is still involved with Les Halles.
In 2010 he actually cooked at Les Halles, there's youtube video of that.
I don't know what your deal with me is r101 but I have met GF as I stated earlier, on more than 1 occasion and found him quite sweet and humble. However I do not really know him personally as I stated. Why would you insist on calling someone a "liar" (me) 3x on this thread? You sound sociopathic.
R24/R38 aka Mohammed - how did I know that's where you were going with your first post? Try being a little less transparent.
You are still lying and should have quit while you were behind a long while ago.
R106, I don't think you can peg that solely on Muslims anymore. It's widespread at DL.
[quote]I watch DDD but am really turned off by Fieri. He is such a pig! If owned one of the places he visits and he reached for some meat or sauce or anthing else with his fat fingers he would be pulling back a stump.
Horseshit, you would get on your knees and thank whoever for the free gift of a national commercial for your business in living color and HD in continuous rotation on The Food Network.
I agree, I never thought he could be Italian, he groos me out. Looks like a red neck. Have you benne to Santa Rosa/ Tried the Tex restaurant he knows: terrubile!
I would never eat anything that thing had touched. No way in hell is he clean. He just reeks of someone who probably picks his nose and scratches his ass (and then smells his finger) all while he cooks.
R109...not everyone is a self-loathing piece of garbage who'd do anything for a buck. Some gay people have integrity, and wouldn't let this homophobic asshole near them. Grow a spine.
r112 has a point. Besides, do we have any idea of restaurants who may have turned Fieri down, for whatever reason? That statistic would not be something TPTB at FN or Triple D would want people to know...
I wonder how much a restaurant's business increases by being on this show.
I'm watching a recent episode. It's 2011 and he's wearing a fucking THUMB ring.
So in retrospect, this would have been an awkward moment for both parties.
well I've always thought the people that bash gays has an issue in their own mind that they might be gay themselves. they have a tendency to over dour with the ladies to make everyone that he is a real stud. guy come on out of the closet, and stop made mouthing gays cause you'll have trouble finding a boyfriend. oh yeah get. new hairdo and come on up to date, you look like Anne burrell's twin sister.
Typical Christian American.
Don't worry, gays. I'm taking care of this one for you.
No wonder his car got stollen, he's an idiot. . .
I saw him on Nate Berkus.
R107 does seem vaguely sociopathic to be harping on such a nitpicky detail, especially when it should be clear to anyone and their mother what R104's point was.
Brasseries Les Halles serves pretty mediocre food. It was mediocre when Bourdain was executive chef, and it's mediocre now.
OK, WW for R5!
ON Nate Berkus, R121? Was this before or after the tsunami?
[R124]...it was DURING the tsunami
LOL, I just read some chick's Tweet:
Flipping off trees in case they become Guy Fieri cookbooks.
Oh, fuck him anyway.
I couldn't stand his tv persona before I even found out about all of this. Just extra reasons to hate him. Great job, Food Network, for allowing this kind of talentless cunt to succeed. His recipes suck too...I never tried them but I've watched him demo them on tv a couple times.
[quote]LOL, I just read some chick's Tweet:
[quote]Flipping off trees in case they become Guy Fieri cookbooks.
That chick is Megan Amram, a writer for "Parks and Recreation" and one of the funniest comics around.
"Apparently he "loves me not." I wish this butterfly had more wings :("
This Times review of his Times Square resturant?
GUY FIERI, have you eaten at your new restaurant in Times Square? Have you pulled up one of the 500 seats at Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar and ordered a meal? Did you eat the food? Did it live up to your expectations?
Did panic grip your soul as you stared into the whirling hypno wheel of the menu, where adjectives and nouns spin in a crazy vortex? When you saw the burger described as “Guy’s Pat LaFrieda custom blend, all-natural Creekstone Farm Black Angus beef patty, LTOP (lettuce, tomato, onion + pickle), SMC (super-melty-cheese) and a slathering of Donkey Sauce on garlic-buttered brioche,” did your mind touch the void for a minute?
Did you notice that the menu was an unreliable predictor of what actually came to the table? Were the “bourbon butter crunch chips” missing from your Almond Joy cocktail, too? Was your deep-fried “boulder” of ice cream the size of a standard scoop?
What exactly about a small salad with four or five miniature croutons makes Guy’s Famous Big Bite Caesar (a) big (b) famous or (c) Guy’s, in any meaningful sense?
Were you struck by how very far from awesome the Awesome Pretzel Chicken Tenders are? If you hadn’t come up with the recipe yourself, would you ever guess that the shiny tissue of breading that exudes grease onto the plate contains either pretzels or smoked almonds? Did you discern any buttermilk or brine in the white meat, or did you think it tasted like chewy air?
Why is one of the few things on your menu that can be eaten without fear or regret — a lunch-only sandwich of chopped soy-glazed pork with coleslaw and cucumbers — called a Roasted Pork Bahn Mi, when it resembles that item about as much as you resemble Emily Dickinson?
When you have a second, Mr. Fieri, would you see what happened to the black bean and roasted squash soup we ordered?
Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?
At your five Johnny Garlic’s restaurants in California, if servers arrive with main courses and find that the appetizers haven’t been cleared yet, do they try to find space for the new plates next to the dirty ones? Or does that just happen in Times Square, where people are used to crowding?
If a customer shows up with a reservation at one of your two Tex Wasabi’s outlets, and the rest of the party has already been seated, does the host say, “Why don’t you have a look around and see if you can find them?” and point in the general direction of about 200 seats?
What is going on at this new restaurant of yours, really?
Has anyone ever told you that your high-wattage passion for no-collar American food makes you television’s answer to Calvin Trillin, if Mr. Trillin bleached his hair, drove a Camaro and drank Boozy Creamsicles? When you cruise around the country for your show “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives,” rasping out slangy odes to the unfancy places where Americans like to get down and greasy, do you really mean it?
Or is it all an act? Is that why the kind of cooking you celebrate on television is treated with so little respect at Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar?
How, for example, did Rhode Island’s supremely unhealthy and awesomely good fried calamari — dressed with garlic butter and pickled hot peppers — end up in your restaurant as a plate of pale, unsalted squid rings next to a dish of sweet mayonnaise with a distant rumor of spice?
How did Louisiana’s blackened, Cajun-spiced treatment turn into the ghostly nubs of unblackened, unspiced white meat in your Cajun Chicken Alfredo?
How did nachos, one of the hardest dishes in the American canon to mess up, turn out so deeply unlovable? Why augment tortilla chips with fried lasagna noodles that taste like nothing except oil? Why not bury those chips under a properly hot and filling layer of melted cheese and jalapeños instead of dribbling them with thin needles of pepperoni and cold gray clots of ground turkey?
By the way, would you let our server know that when we asked for chai, he brought us a cup of hot water?
When you hung that sign by the entrance that says, WELCOME TO FLAVOR TOWN!, were you just messing with our heads?
Does this make it sound as if everything at Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar is inedible? I didn’t say that, did I?
Tell me, though, why does your kitchen sabotage even its more appealing main courses with ruinous sides and sauces? Why stifle a pretty good bison meatloaf in a sugary brown glaze with no undertow of acid or spice? Why send a serviceable herb-stuffed rotisserie chicken to the table in the company of your insipid Rice-a-Roni variant?
Why undermine a big fist of slow-roasted pork shank, which might fly in many downtown restaurants if the General Tso’s-style sauce were a notch less sweet, with randomly shaped scraps of carrot that combine a tough, nearly raw crunch with the deadened, overcooked taste of school cafeteria vegetables?
Is this how you roll in Flavor Town?
Somewhere within the yawning, three-level interior of Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar, is there a long refrigerated tunnel that servers have to pass through to make sure that the French fries, already limp and oil-sogged, are also served cold?
What accounts for the vast difference between the Donkey Sauce recipe you’ve published and the Donkey Sauce in your restaurant? Why has the hearty, rustic appeal of roasted-garlic mayonnaise been replaced by something that tastes like Miracle Whip with minced raw garlic?
And when we hear the words Donkey Sauce, which part of the donkey are we supposed to think about?
Is the entire restaurant a very expensive piece of conceptual art? Is the shapeless, structureless baked alaska that droops and slumps and collapses while you eat it, or don’t eat it, supposed to be a representation in sugar and eggs of the experience of going insane?
Why did the toasted marshmallow taste like fish?
Did you finish that blue drink?
Oh, and we never got our Vegas fries; would you mind telling the kitchen that we don’t need them?
Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar
220 West 44th Street (Seventh Avenue), (646) 532-4897, guysamerican.com.
ATMOSPHERE 500 seats, three levels, three bars, one chaotic mess.
SERVICE The well-meaning staff seems to realize that this is not a real restaurant.
SOUND LEVEL Rawk and roll, but at moderate volumes.
RECOMMENDED Roasted Pork Bahn Mi, General Tso’s Crispy Pork Shank, Cedar Plank Salmon with Jalapeño Apricot Jam.
DRINKS AND WINE Margaritas, while too sweet and strong, are the best cocktails. Draft beers are better than the largely dull wines.
PRICES Soups, salads and appetizers, $8.95 to $16.50; sandwiches, pastas and main courses, $16.95 to $31.50.
HOURS Sunday to Wednesday, 11:30 a.m. to midnight; Thursday to Saturday, 11:30 a.m. to 1 a.m.
WHEELCHAIR ACCESS The bar area and an accessible restroom are on street level.
WHAT THE STARS MEAN Ratings range from zero to four stars and reflect the reviewer’s reaction primarily to food, with ambience, service and price taken into consideration.
That review is simply resplendent in its cuntiness.
Aint it now!!
Finger- Lickin' GOOD!
Go Guy! Awesome chef, great personality, and I agree with him and stand by his comments. He's successful and continues to be, I hope. Even his line of frozen food appetizers and stuff is pretty good.
Thanks again, Google search.
Ryan Scott is hunky and worthwhile. Guy Fieri is someone who should be in the Special Olympics not on t.v.
Seriously, Where the fuck did r136 come from?
R139 Some diner, dive, or dump?
My straight, middle-aged, married with kids brother loves this fat fuck. There's something in the combination of Fieri's awful look and his weird voice that has always put me off.
At my brother's request, we've eaten at a few of the DDD recommended restaurants. They were actually pretty good.
I read somewhere, fairly recently, that DDD is the Food Network's highest rated program. That must be why they run it 15 times a day.
he's a fat bloated twat.
His name is Ferry and then he changed it back to Fieri from his great great great gandfather he is a Class 5 douche canoe he he pronounces his nae Fi-eddy as if he's from Italy or something.
45 year old men who still bleach and spike their hair weird me out, so I guess it's even.
For once, I'm very glad to see an old thread, about a non-entity, being bumped up.
People dismissed his homophobia as an allegation made by a former co-worker. But homophobia was not and is not even the worst of his faults. He is the complete douche he appears to be and he's gotten worse now that FC runs his show day and night.
And, yes, his name is Guy Ferry. Probably called Gay Fairy in school. Still, how insecure do you have to be to change your name from Ferry to Fieri?