That is truly awesome. Blessings to you and your SO.
That is wonderful! I am genuinely happy for you despite the fact that this is DL.
Cool to think you've made it onto the history books of your town.
STOP CALLING IT MARRIAGE!!
Mrs. Crista Fenwick, Grove City, OH (I am my kid's mom)
Honeymoon at the Datalounge!
Are you putting an announcement in the New York Times?
Salude! Here's to a long life together and lots of love!
Many happy years together!
Where are the wedding pictures?
[quote]Blessings to you and your SO.
Not "SO" anymore -- now it's "spouse".
Best wishes for much happiness, OP.
Thanks for your warm thoughts (to the extent they exist on DL). The town justice was great and he brought us to meet the Mayor. We have e-mailed back and forth as he wants to improve ceremonies for same sex marriages. For us, this is just a formality as we have been together for more than 20 years. For you New Yorkers, consider getting married in Bronxville. Yes, I cried. I did not sob.
Congratulations from a red state. Good for you.
Mazel tov, amigo.
Tell us: do you feel like it changes things between you?
Drunk at a bar on the Iso Roobertinkatu
Congratulations!!! Truly thrilled for you and your partner.
Did you wear white, Whore?
Congrats, I could never that.
R21, no real changes. We considered getting married in other states when it was an option, but it seemed like too much trouble and we are very low key people. It was only when it became legal in our state that we decided to take the plunge as we felt strongly about exercising the right others fought hard to give us.
I hope you're both at least ugly. It would really make me feel better about being single.
How long until one of you cheat on the other? Or do you have an "open relationship"?
R25, I did not wear white. Although I still look good, I am "high mileage." BTW, I prefer "slut" over "whore."
Harumph...my invitation must have gotten in the mail.
Or gimpy. Gimpy would help.
R29, we are over 50. What do you think?
You understand you are only half married, right? Not recognized by the US Federal Government. No joint tax returns, no death rights, no inheritance rights....good for you but END DOMA NOW. Thank you.
Gee, OP -- with that moniker, I thought you were a lesbian.
This is all well and good, OP, but you have neglected to answer that most pressing of DL questions:
Did you have a cash bar at the wedding?
Bengali in Platforms
And now, you can both enlist in the Army as well!
As a sewaholic, I made the most darling matching pairs of mink testicle cuffs.
Of course, New York whores never invite me anywhere so I'll just have to save them for some fat, sweaty lardass wedding in Iowa. I can make a road trip to Iowa.
Congrats to you and the newly legally recognized husband!
Did you pop your anal cherry on your wedding night and get blood and shit all over the sheets at Club Med Niagra Falls?
I received the certificates in today's mail. The village included a transcript of the ceremony. Yes, I know it is the same canned one they use for everyone else, but it was a nice touch. We also received very nice flowers from friends.
BTW, it was not a cash bar reception, but considering there were only five of us, I thought I should splurge. We were given a free champagne toast by the restaurant. It was not great champagne, so I may not go back. **kidding**. We are happy for the right (limited as it is) and the kindness shown to us. Now let's take this to the next level.
BTW, I teared again looking at the certificate. I am a Wall Street lawyer. I am not supposed to do that!
Congratulations to you both.
My partner & I have been together 32 years, and we've always been rather ambivalent about marriage as an institution -- straight OR gay. But something "clicked" in me a few days ago, and now I think I want to do it.
The repeal of DADT has something to do with this new attitude, but so does something I just learned about a member of my partner's family. His sister is a supporter of the Liberty Coalition, a big "pro-family" (i.e., "anti-gay") organization.
It's very complicated, but I want to get married for several reasons: I love my partner; I want equal rights; and I want to give my partner's sister a big FUCK YOU and turn her into my sister-in-law!
I'm thinking road trip to Iowa this summer...
Congratulations to you and your spouse, OP. May you enjoy many long years of happiness.
And don't get fat.
No pot luck reception, OP?
Congratulations OP! Beautiful story :) I hope one day I can be lucky enough to find someone so that I can experience the same.
Sad for me but happy for you!
BFD. Make sure you let us know when the divorce occurs.
[quote]Yes, I cried. I did not sob.
Suuure ya didn't, Mary!
Thanks for your kind words. It is time to close this thread.
is your pic gonna be in nytimes so we can trash you?
Last post from me on this thread. No NYT announcement re wedding. We did not have a pot luck reception. If people want to continue the thread, fine. If so, hopefully positive posts and not the usual bitchfest. I just wanted to share a great joy in my life. I hope you all find similar joy, whatever that may mean.
OP, I would expect a regular on DL to know how to properly (attempt to) close a thread, but I'll give you a pass since you're still high on wedded bliss.
Congratulations to you and your husband, OP.
If you want to play it that way, R53, then fine: mazel tov, OP.
r42 One of my biggest (secret) motivations for marrying my partner was the fact that it would piss conservatives off. And I love him.
[quote]BTW, I teared again looking at the certificate. I am a Wall Street lawyer. I am not supposed to do that!
Yes, god forbid a Wall Street lawyer should show even a trace of human emotion. It might interfere with your ability to fuck the rest of the nation into permanent poverty.
Here's wishing you a messy divorce!
I quit Wall Street June 30. Never went back. Partner retired October 1. We are not financially fucking anyone.
My heart is broken. My partner died in his sleep on Sunday.
You're kidding that's terrible! Well at least he got to have his wedding and a few months of connubial bliss.
OP - Sorry to hear that,please be Strong..(((H)))
Why isn't he authenticating?
wow. So sorry OP.
I don't think that is the OP, I hope not.
R64, it is really me. He was 52.
Forgot to authenticate. It really is me.
Op, I don't know what to say. Much love to you.
Congrats to you and your husband!
OP, how are you holding up? I hope you can take great comfort in the memories you had with him. 52 is so young.
Let us know how you are doing.
I am so, so terribly sorry OP to hear that your husband is gone. I was hoping it wasn't true. Your wedding party sounded so lovely. Sending you peace and hugs.
Wat! O no.
So sorry, OP. Sincere condolences. We are sometimes jerks but we care when sad things happen to our DL friends. I know I do.
I'm so very sorry for your loss, OP. You must be devastated. My thoughts go out to you.
I am so sorry OP.
OMG, do you just wake up and find him stiff next to you? That is absolutely horrible, really sorry to hear. Kind of makes me glad that I'm single that I don't have to experience the heartache.
R76, we slept in separate rooms because of my snoring and his being a light sleeper. When he wasn't up by noon, I went in to check on him.
My father has been here all week and tomorrow my sister is coming over. My network of friends is great. My emotions are all over the place.
You were married, but maintained separated bedrooms? And it took you decades to decide to tie the knot? He was essentially a roommate, OP. I feel sorry for you, but it'll get better over time.
I eat shit.
r79, you're a complete jackass.
Congrats, and many happy years, OP!
R82, the OP's husband just passed away....
What do they think happened to him, OP? Aneurysm, heart attack? Was he being treated for any ailments?
r82 is Maggie Griffin drinking out of a box of wine.
My condolences, OP. It's hard to find comfort in anything when you've just lost a close loved one but try to bear in mind that he was loved, secure, and happy, AND that he lived to marry the man he loved. You take care of yourself.
That's drawesome! Congrats.
Pics of your off-white caftan and earrings or it didn't happen!
People should really read a thread before posting.
Unless theyre actually congratulating OP for being newly single!
So sorry to hear about your husband, NYStud. Dreadful news. I hope your friends and family will be there to support and comfort you.
Ooops, pics of your black caftan and earrings or it didn't happen!
Yeah - congratulations! go NY!
Dear 'NY Stud',
I am sorry to read this update. My partner and I were married a few miles north of you, the same weekend you two were. It is beyond painful to imagine losing him. And we have only been together 3 years, not 20 like the two of you.
Sincerely, to lift a DL trope, my heart goes out to you. May you be as well as is possible, in the days and months and next few years to come, given the circumstances.
[bold] READ THE THREAD BEFORE YOU CONGRATULATE OP, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!!! [/bold]
That being said, I'm so so sorry for your loss, OP.
OP, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Condolences, OP. May your heart heal.
Sorry for your loss, OP. Hugs!
Congratulations to you both from here in Australia!!! Hope we follow suit soon. May you have a long and happy life together.
Oh godI am so sorry, I had not read the second page. Such a cunty thing for me to have done. My heartfelt apologies, OP.
So sorry, OP. That's devastating news. I can't imagine the pain you are in. My partner and I are on our 11th year together and were married in 2009. I will cherish every day we have together as one never knows what life will throw at us. You will grieve tremendously. You will also get through it in time. Please accept all the help that is offered to you from family and friends. I'm so very sorry.
Your post at R100 must be like a slap in OPs face.
I fully realise that, r104, and am mortified that I did not realise the thread had changed drastically from one of joy to deep sadness for OP. I do apologise unreservedly.
Dudes, OP isn't Scott Peterson. Quit congratulating him.
OP, my condolences and heartfelt sympathy goes out to you. Maybe you should start a new thread and link to this one?
I'm sorry to hear that, OP. I'll keep you in my thoughts and RIP to your husband.
I'm so sorry, OP. Will be thinking of you.
r100, I almost did the same thing. Hugs to you.
Thanks, all. I am hanging in there. I am hosting a celebration at the end of the month. I am blessed with friends and family. Apologies graciously accepted R100.
How much $$$ did he bequeath you?
Are you going to tell us what happened?
R112, if you are going to go, he did it the right way. He died in his sleep. He did not suffer. I do not have the medical examiner's report yet, but he did have a heart condition.
I hope the fact that you were able to "make it official" after twenty years can serve as some comfort.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I never understood congratulating people on getting marred.
R116, you're trying to tell us that you don't know anyone whose so unremarkable that it shocks you to find out another human being promised to spend their life with them? If that's true, you're fortunate.
NYSTud, my condolences. Take good care of yourself.
To add insult to injury, one of my dogs was just diagnosed with inoperable cancer. We are trying to determine whether it is readily treatable with chemo. Fingers crossed.
Am I living an EST scenario?
Blame the Mayans!
Did I mention that I had already spent $10,000 on the other dog for heart surgery? I am not making this shit up. R111, I now have lots of money. Am I happy? No. I want my partner back. I want my dog healthy. With luck, I will at least get the dog.
R122, I am hoping it is just the month.
I had to put the dog down. She was suffering too much. I am now a rich man, but I feel poor.
No, I am not looking for dates.
Your life sucks. Really puts my trivial problems in perspective.
At least you're rich.
Rich? Am I? There is more to life than money. I am fortunate to have a wonderful family and friends.
I also admitted publicly that he took his own life.
Alcoholism is an awful disease. I know. I suffer from it too.
Today I finally took down his yahoo email and Facebook accounts.
Sorry, hon. :(
Thanks R128. I'm okay. I'm slowly coming back, thankful for what I still have. I'm currently housing a friend who lost his home because of the hurricane. I have a home; he does not.
I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving. My neighbors are having me over. I am bringing apple, pumpkin and pecan pies, as well as a cheesecake. (I like to bake.)
How was his family? Did they treat you well? You mentioned that his sister was involved with an anti-gay marraige group. I hope that they did not make your time of loss any more difficult then it had to be.
wow OP, my deepest condolences. how are you holding up? Suicide leaves a terrible wake, and a lifetime of 'what-ifs' for loved ones.
are you in any kind of treatment/recovery for the alcoholism?
R130, you may have confused me with someone else. He did not have a sister and his family is not overtly anti-gay. His family has treated me fine. They are trying to give me more residuals from his father's estate.
R131, I'm holding up more or less fine. I'm still in my year of "firsts". I'm not in treatment for alcoholism, but since he's been gone, I don't drink much anymore. I'm now "a glass or two of wine with dinner" kind of guy when I go out with friends. I suspect we were co-enablers and I no longer have the "co." I am pretty self-aware, and if things get bad, I think I will know to get help. I also have many watching me like hawks.
glad to hear you have a support network in place.
forgive my nosiness, but: did your husband have a history of depression? did he express any despondency/hopelessness? or was it a total shock and there was no sign at all?
Genuine Congratulations to you and your spouse!
I have tears in my eyes, and I do not care that I will likely get 25 MARY! replies. This is a beautiful post.
R134, I have been on DL for 12 years. You are the first person who I genuinely believe deserves to be shot for their post.
Excuse me? You better be kidding. I will just pretend you typed the number incorrectly.
R134, you really need to go back to R59. The thread takes an unexpected turn...
R133, no, he had no real noticeable signs of depression, but I am not a trained professional (except when it comes to mixing cocktails). It was a total shock to everyone. His (and my) friends are still reeling from it. He was the life of the party and I was the sane one who kept him in check.
He did not exhibit hopelessness. In fact, he had recently retired and was creating lots of art (he painted in the style of Erté), was selling his work and getting commissions, and was planning our gardens. (I will admit we live comfortably, but gold diggers need not apply -- I'll remain single for now). His father passed away the previous year and left him a pile of money.
I can handle people like R134.
Very sorry for you r loss OP. My warm thoughts and prayers are with you.
NYStud, did you know it was suicide from the get go, but just told us he went peacefully in his sleep, or did the autopsy reveal it was suicide?
This thread is so fucking sad, but I'm glad to hear you seem to have, at the very least, got your drinking under control.
You seem so distanced from it all OP, I think you need some professional help. You got married and soon after your partner died, and then your dog got sick and died and now you are worrying about gold diggers. You need more help than DL can give you.
OP/NYStud, you have my deepest sympathy. I lost my partner of 20 years a few years back. It sucks. Very sorry for your loss.
Thank you R141 for your sage advice!
I hope the coming year is better for you, NYStud.
Big Hugs to NYStud
Mozel tov, OP!
I have felt really badly for not reading the whole thread, NYStud. I was reply 134 and I have not been able to come online after realizing what I had done.
I am truly sorry for your loss; I was swept up with marriage equality being made legal in my state and only read 2 pages. I am humbly sorry, though this is an anonymous message board.
All, know that I am "okay." Sad? Sure. Who would not be. At this time of Thanksgiving I also know what I have. Good family and friends. And occasional amusement on DL.
are you divorced yet?
R149 I was thinking it, but wasn't going to ask it!
r149/150 = absolute morons.
R151 you do understand a great deal of marriages end in divorce. I hardly think the gay community is going to be immune to that trend.
Echoing R135: R149 and R150 both deserve houses falling on them immediately. I mean really, R149, you dug up this long-dormant thread to post something that terrible? Particularly in this case?? You fuckwits.
OP, if you read this, I sincerely hope things are going okay for you by now.
I never buy wedding presents until 11 months after the wedding. (Proper protocol gives you a year to buy a wedding present.) I have bought shit so many times for couples that split up in the first year that it's just not worth counting.
r153, you're so kind, offering support to the OP...yet hoping that houses fall on other people. I'm guessing you're not married.
The point R156, is that OP said his husband died earlier in the thread, and people, the usual freeper homophobes, were coming here to gloat over his failed marriage without even reading the thread.
Congrats to you and yours.
I hope that you have a long and beautiful marriage and lots of little miracles soon.
Here we have proof positive that people do not read threads before commenting.