Why do some lesbians pretend to be attracted to men?

I have two out lesbian friends who are always saying things like "I can''t wait to see ''Twilight.'' Taylor Lautner''s abs are so sexy!" %0D\ %0D\ Are they just fucking with my mind? Or do lesbians actually find some men attractive? I don''t get it. I have heard gay men talk about the beauty of some women, but with no sense of sexual attraction. My lesbian friends sound like there''s an actual attraction.%0D\ %0D\ What''s up with this phenomenon?? Will any lesbians help clarify this for me?

• Are you an Umpy wannabe?

• Lesbians on DL always seem to say how hot they find gay porn...I don''t know what''s going on there.

• I sometimes have sexual atraction to ''the opposite sex'', straight or gay, but I don''t ever want to take it any further. I imagine your lesbian friends feel the same.

  RancidOldKunst

• I have no idea what you''re talking about.

  Rosie O

• Generally the male of most species are more beautiful and attractive than the females, such as lions, peacocks, roosters, deer, antelopes etc etc...\ \ I guess even if you sexually attracted to other lesbians, you must have realized your ain''t going to overwhelmed by the beauty of your partners.

• Haha, is that satire R5? Finally an explanation why female beauty plays no role in our society!

• Let''s ask Rosie why she was always creaming in her panties over Tom Cruise.

• A good friend of mine told me that she almost always fantasizes about men, but doesn''t act on it because women are more of the complete package for her, and she''d bore easily with a male partner.\ \ I didn''t find her argument particularly convincing. I guess some lesbians aren''t immune to the pressures that make some gay men identify as bi when they aren''t (not that I''m saying that bisexuality doesn''t exist - we''ve had that argument many times...)

• Hey! the Bread Pudding is delicious!

  Lezzie date of unsuspecting str8 male Ruth''s Chris diner

• Because they get to be first lady or Secretary of State.

• [quote]Let''s ask Rosie why she was always creaming in her panties over Tom Cruise.%0D\ %0D\ Exactly! It''s not as if gay men cream their jeans over Barbra, Liza, Judy, etc. That would never happen. %0D\ %0D

• Lots of lesbians attracted to gay men. \ \ Just like some gay men are turned on by snatch sometimes.

• Why, it''s not as if gay men weren''t Supermodels of the 80s groupies and know more about them than either straight men or women!

• OP, don''t take it too seriously. Being sexcually attracted to the same sex doesn''t negate the ability to see the beauty in someone of the opposite sex.%0D\ %0D\ It doesn''t mean they want to have actual sex with that person.%0D\ %0D\ Why don''t you just ask your lesbian friends who use the word "sexy" in those circumstances.

• Sounds like you have two bisexual friends, who for whatever reason call themselves "lesbian", more like?

  confused lesbian

• I find some men really sexually attractive. In theory. But in reality, I know from experience, I don''t want to go there. Men can be pretty but women are who I want. Is that so hard to understand?

  Random Lesbian

• [quote]Haha, is that satire [R5]? Finally an explanation why female beauty plays no role in our society!\ \ \ Which also explains why there is a multi billion dollar cosmetics and fashion industry to create the illusion of beauty in females.

• Another lesbian here. There are some rare instances where I have been attracted to men (a couple celebrities mainly that the guys like on DL anyway Ryan Phillipe, Mark Sailing, RDJ etc - and Prince Harry, of course). \ \ But I don''t fantasize about men. I know I''m strange in this regard - I don''t consider myself bisexual (I don''t think, but maybe technically I am?). At this point, being in my mid thirties, I really don''t have the desire to question my sexuality. I consider myself a lesbian.

• Well smell you, R5/R17.\ \ Most gay men aren''t misogynists, but there''s no misogynist like a gay man.

• r11 ate a brain tumor for breakfast.

• R17 makes a very interesting point, actually. I''ve never thought about it that way.%0D\ %0D

• I haven''t met these lesbians. The ones I know have nothing good to say about men ever: they are disgusting, hold women down, their penises are ugly, having sex with one is like being raped, etc. Most lesbians truly hate men with all their fiber. But due to hormones, sometimes they sexually want to fuck a man. Which makes them hate men even more.

• Labels are like names; they are for other people. Labels don''t always correspond to behavior.

• Obviously the cosmetic and fashion industry isn''t necessary, since women were being fucked by men long before it came about. It''s merely something for women to waste their time and money on.

• [quote]But due to hormones, sometimes they sexually want to fuck a man. Which makes them hate men even more.%0D\ %0D\ Please, R22. You should think over what company you keep. %0D\ %0D\ I''m gay and have never been sexually attracted to a guy. But I can appreciate a good-lucking guy or a charming guy. I can see attraction even if I''m not attracted to him. %0D\ %0D\ Plus my breasts are extremely popular with gay guys. At the Pride it was mainly gay guys who were looking and making (positive) comments about them. It works both ways, brothers

  lesbian

• it''s a lot easier to fantasize about Taylor Lautner as a butch dyke than it is to fantasize about Marilyn Monroe as a hot stud.\ \ next!

• [quote]I find some men really sexually attractive. \ \ r16, that, by definition, makes you bisexual. What part of that do you not understand? It''s not some accusation or insult, that''s simply what the word means. I don''t understand bisexual men who identify as gay either. I''m genuinely curious about this, do bisexual people feel more special/unique when they say stuff like ''Oh, I''m gay/lesbian but I also find the opposite sex sexually attractive'' rather than simply identifying as bisexual?

• Meh, if a woman only wants to fuck/kiss/pet/date women, where is the point in calling herself bisexual just because she likes to look at Taylor Lautner? The point of any label is that it makes communication easier. If you say you''re bi, people will understand that you could go for either gender and that might be a very important thing to know about you, in case someone''s interested for example. How long your eyes linger on Taylor Lautners abs is fairly unimportant to anything ever.

• r6, take away the makeup, push up bras, hair dye and heels and what do you have? A whole lot of plain Jane. Of course males are more attractive than females...its nature.

• If they don''t want, and can''t imagine, falling in love with and having a relationship with those opposite-sex people, they''re not bi, R28. Just like a straight person can occasionally feel attracted to people of the same sex and still identify as, and be, straight, because the attraction is never strong enough to pursue it further.

• Why can''t a Lesbian appreciate a beautiful man?

• Sometimes it''s like admiring a beautiful horse...\ \ but no way could you see building a life together.

• When it comes to purely sexual arousal, I think women in general are more naturally bisexual than men. %0D\ %0D\ As for orientation however, that is as strongly set in women as in men. I''ve known self-identified lesbians who like male/male porn but have never fallen in love with a man and are happily partnered with a woman. There are lots of happily married straight women who have lesbian sexual fantasies, too.%0D\ %0D\ I think this comes down to simply a difference between the sexes more than a difference between gay men and lesbians.

• Because she sometimes needs a tall man to reach those higher shelves at Home Depot.

• Lisa Diamond''s book on sexual fluidity is quite interesting. She argues that women have a basic orientation but that, unlike men, they are also able to respond to "emotions over gender" and can experience feelings of love and attraction under specific circumstances that go against their natural orientation. She calls it "cross-orientation attraction."

  http://www.amazon.com/Sexual-Fluidity-Understanding-Womens-Desire/dp/0674032268/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1315147660&sr=1-1

• If you believe that women require artificial means in order to be attractive, r29, then of course you would consider them "Plain Janes" without those artificial means.\ \ But the fact is, many women are naturally attractive and don''t require any artificial means at all. Makeup/fashion isn''t really about creating the illusion of attractiveness so much as it''s about enhancing certain features and helping women to stand out from the competition.\ \ Btw, isn''t there a fashion industry for men as well?

• women are just sort of plain and nasty r36...its nature.

• So, r28, males are so much more attractive than females...Hmmm....So why is RuPaul, et al., made his fortune as a drag queen? Why are there so many more drag queens than drag kings?

  Male birds may be more colorful, but this is not parallel to human beauty

• R38, why are you arguing with a gay man about male versus female beauty?

• Look at all of these plain Janes...sexless, ordinary, dull...then add makeup, push ups and hair and voila...a whole different person emerges...men don''t have to do this.\ \ women = naturally mousy\ \ men = naturally beautiful

  http://seehere.blogspot.com/2006/08/celebrities-without-makeup.html

• funny how many women have perma-acne...its the hormones...they''re loaded with hormones.

• Attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder, isn''t it? In nature, the male is more colorful in order to capture the female''s attention. He has to catch her eye, court her, and win her over (and away from other males). Obviously he finds her attractive since he''s trying to get her attention in the first place.\ \ But I realize I''m trying to reason with a male supremacist here, so you can stick to your opinions, and the rest of who find women attractive will stick to ours.

• why do most women resort to such drastic measures to appear attractive?\ \ Because they''re not.\ \ Real woman = perma-acne, saggy tits, lard ass. teensy beady eyes. dull lifeless hair and an attitude to match.\ \ Pretty woman = fake everything.

• Somebody here has MOMMY issues.

• "Look at all of these plain Janes...sexless, ordinary, dull...then add makeup, push ups and hair and voila...a whole different person emerges...men don''t have to do this."\ \ Standards for men are so low that''s it''s fairly easy to meet them. Yet, surprisingly so, most male hogs still don''t manage not to be bloated, smelly and poorly groomed; which I guess is called "rugged" instead of sloppy.

• How many of you homos comment regularly about women''s bodies? Does that make you "attracted" to women?%0D\ %0D\ I can admire a nice male body, that doesn''t mean I''m attracted to it or want to fuck it. Most lesbians I know feel exactly the same way. All of this "most lesbians thing men are ugly" crap comes from ignoramuses or shut-ins who know nothing about real life except what they read on msg boards.%0D\ %0D\ %0D

  #1 Lesbian

• I can look at a man, like Brad Pitt for example, and think; ''yeah, he''s sexy'' and admire his fit body but it doesn''t mean I''d like to snog him or have his cock inside my vagina.\ \ Simple really.\ \ x

  Lucy ''lifetime lesbian, J.

• I feel the same way about women. I can admire them the way you would a great work of art or a beautiful sunset, but that doesn''t mean I want to have sex with them.

  Str8 gal

• I agree that men are more naturally beautiful. I like women and yes some are gorgeous with no help at all, but a many men can roll out of bed, put on wrinkly clothes and still look great. Not so much for women.

• Lucy J, Brad Pitt is not a good example. There are a lot of gay men that find Brad Pitt sexy and admire his body but don''t want to have sex with him.

• Sorry R50 but I have no idea what str8 women really see in men - or what gay men go for either ...!! (I assumed gay men like either Marys or bears and str8 women seem to go for overweight smelly men with no neck, a shaved head and that annoying habit of continually touching their family jewels).\ \ x

  Lucy J.

• Fishsticks looks good without makeup - this was on another thread.%0D\ %0D\ A lot of those in the link without makeup were simply unflattering photos, though some were ordinary to begin with and needed the makeup. Some were just people getting older. True beauties do not need makeup -that person did not included them...but eventually people get old and wrinkled etc no matter what

• Like r45 said, societal standards are very different for men. Men are not expected to look 100% perfect all the time, have perfect features, perfect skin, etc. That''s why men with busted and jacked up faces are - inexplicably, if you ask me - hailed as "hot" (Daniel Craig, for one, immediately comes to mind).\ \ And when someone links to a website that deliberately chooses unflattering pictures of women to try to bolster their argument... well, it''s pretty impossible to take such a point of view seriously.\ \ Look, if one is attracted to men and not women, it''s not so surprising that one may think men are more attractive. And vice versa. It''s a subjective argument. Personally, I think it''s silly to try to claim which sex is more attractive. I''m not claiming one is more attractive than the other, just that the standards are different, and it''s disingenuous not to acknowledge that.

• So for the lesbians, did the scene in The Kids are All Right ring true (where they sometimes watched porn w/men in it) - I''ve heard mixed responses to that....

• R49, men are not naturally beautiful. Do you have anu idea of what the majority of adult men look like? It''s not a pretty sight.

  http://ihavemyabsback.com/leithbefore.jpg

• only a handful of crazy people do that, R54

• they want a peepee in thier coochie?

• Is that guy Australian, R55?

• OP, I find most lesbians do not want anything to do with men. \ Either your friends are bi or they are not OUT. Or they think they are being funny.

  bi chick

• The whole "women are the fairer sex" is lies. Take off the makeups, fake hair, and all the other tricks, most women look like Freddy Krueger. At least with men, what you see you get.

• I love how gay men (who by definition are not attracted to women) think their opinions on female attractiveness should be taken seriously.

• We are more honest than men or dykes (who just want your pussy) or other straight women (who like to feed the female-beauty myth for their own vanity), r61.

• Yes, of course r62, you''re just being "honest" and not biased at all, and the fact that you''re attracted to men and not women has nothing to do with it. Thanks for clarifying.

• This is your typical female beauty in the morning.

  http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_EkaL1HN87dY/S_jKy3ZMDSI/AAAAAAAAAKY/uDuZd8wG6kA/s400/no-makeup-eva-longoria-400a050307.jpg

• "But the fact is, many women are naturally attractive and don''t require any artificial means at all."\ \ If that were true, most fags would be out of a job. These guy''s LIVES depend on women needing their "help."

• Lots of straight women believe that women are more beautiful than men. They are mostly referring to the curves and the fact that the genitals don''t hang out. I get it, although I would probably say beautiful men are more beautiful to me, if I have to choose. \ \ I''m very sure most straight men think women are more beautiful. There is a reason why "beauty" like "sex appeal" is pretty much treated as a female trait in mainstream culture. That reason being that mainstream culture largely represents the opinion of white, straight men, if I have to spell it out. \ \ Judging from this thread it''s the same with gay people. Men like to believe their personal preference represents the truth, while women tend to appreciate beauty beyond that.

  another straight woman

• What happened to the slack vagina thread?

  Lucy J.

• I believe most femme lesbians are really bi

• I truly belive in bisexuality because I''m a BI woman but what the hell is with the lesbians? Taylor Lautner??? Really??? Of all men? %0D\ %0D\ I don''t know how ANYONE can find him sexy, not even gay men.

• R54: That scene in The Kids Are All Right did not at all ring true for me or my partner. We don''t know anyone aside from gay men who would own or even specifically care to watch gay porn, but the Writer/Director must know those who do or it likely would not have been in the film.

  I am assuming so, anyway

• [quote]I have two out lesbian friends who are always saying things like "I can''t wait to see ''Twilight.'' Taylor Lautner''s abs are so sexy!"\ \ [quote]Are they just fucking with my mind? Or do lesbians actually find some men attractive?\ \ Ridiculous. The obvious answer is NO. Taylor Lautner is not a "real man." He''s the closest thing to a lesbian you can get inside a man''s body. \ \ Is there a line between being attracted to masculine woman or an [childish epithet posted by a bigoted tool] man? No, it''s a grey area.

• Would a lesbian who thinks the statue of David is amazingly beautiful be bisexual because of it? That''s nuts. Hell, you gay boys go and fall in absolute love with women over and over (Judy, Barbra, etc.), but that doesn''t mean anything, right? No one said the lesbians want to fuck the men, just look at them.%0D\ %0D\ I, personally, like that Joe Mangiello or however you spell his name. He''s like a statue come to life.

• I identify as lesbian(I did have sex with a couple men before I came out). I am femme and I am most attracted to femmes. We do exist, lol. There are, however, a handful of men through the years that I have found attractive/hot. I appreciate their beauty, but I don''t want to have sex with them or spend my life with them...

  Leigh

• The guys here are so insecure. R68 is a prime example.%0D\ %0D\ THREAD CLOSED.

• I was really enjoying this thread.

  Norman Bates

• Lesbian who always appreciated a young Dennis Quaid.\ \ End up watching "Breaking Away" everytime I come across it on TV.

• Hey Dennis Quaid lover, I saw him in that caveman flick he did when he was young. I''ve only known him as old, but he was really cute when young. For me, seeing an attractive guy is more the idea that I''d want to look like that guy if I was born male. Not so much the fucking. I confess to being a James Franco lover.

• I''ve never met a masculine gay man who hates women. It''s always the nelly ones.

• ditto r78

• Many lesbians (like many women in general) claim to have a "fluid" sexuality. It''s the same as a straight woman admitting to a celebrity "girl crush" or having a sapphic fling in college. \ \ I do know lesbians who enjoy gay porn because they think the sexual energy between two men is more straightforward and fun, and less fraught with gender/sexual politics that they perceive in both straight and actual lesbian porn. \ \ A lot of them are just bisexual to one degree or another, but identify much more strongly with lesbian identities and communities.

• LOL, r80. Some women like gay porn because it''s honest made by men for men porn, NOT because of "gender/sexual politics." Porn with women -- made for men -- it a total self-satisfying fantasy.

• It''s joke, morons! \ \ You queens have no sense of humor.

• Who''s genitals don''t hang out?

  http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/file.php?40,file=35950,filename=1306141453492-dumpfm-bloodtaco-beef-curtains.jpg

• People lie Op. \ \ I used to say things like that even though I didn''t mean it. Looking back I realise now that it was almost like a form of internalized lesbophobia. I said it because it made me ''fit in'' for a little bit. \ \ I don''t say stuff like that anymore.

• Um, that''s sort of what I was saying, R81. Half of it, anyway. LOL.\ \ But the lesbians I know also don''t like lesbian porn made by actual lesbians, because it, too, is fraught with sex and gender politics. Ugly, butch, tattooed and pierced "real" lesbians are no hotter than bleached, waxed, silicone-enhanced "fake" lesbians performing for the pleasure of men. \ \ Gay male porn is just two (or more) guys having sex FOR THE FUN OF IT. Not to please and titillate a "dominant power group" and not to demonstrate "the beauty and pleasure-worthiness of everyone on the gender spectrum"...but because sex is supposed to FUN and HOT.

• Because nobody wants to "ooooh & ahhhhh" over a vagina?

• I HATE when lesbians do this. It''s so gross and show off-y.\ \ OP, when I heard shit like that, I just respond, "Yeah, Taylor Lautner''s abs ARE sexy, just like Megan Fox''s tits!" That shuts them up.

• I am a feminine and nice girl who identifies as bi because i despise the male hatred in the dyke community. Many of my femme friends also identify as bi.

• I find it rather interesting from an objective point of view that the more masculine lesbians are the ones who hate men.

• Also, why are some lesbians attracted to lesbians who look and act and dress like the worst aspects of straight men? Thank God this is now changing, but still disturbing

• 1.) You can find someone attractive without wanting to sleep with them. 2.) Some of these lesbians aren't lesbians. They're "functionally lesbian" but are factually bisexual. A woman more attracted to women and who finds what women offer more appealing but are technically still attracted to males (no matter if they have no interest in dating them) are still bisexual. They're just "lesbian" for all intents and purposes.

  Actually%20bisexual.%20

• Let me clarify my last post. I mean they aren't lesbians, actually. Not that being essentially something makes you that.

• I guess me and my feminine friends fall in that category r91

• Okay, I think it's obvious that your friends are either just joking around, or they are not lesbians, they are most likely bisexuals but they identify as lesbians because it might be easier to label themselves that way. Especially with the whole stigma of "you can only be one or the other!" type of pressure that people go through. And to the other person who said that they think femme lesbians are really bi. Where the heck did you get that idea? ANYONE can be homosexual. It doesn't matter what the heck you look like, or how you act. Femme females can be gay, many of them are. And no, they are not bisexuals. They really are gay. No attraction to the opposite gender/sex at all. And the other person quoting from Lisa Diamond's so-called "study"; you can't really trust that, because that study, (including most studies that are usually done) are mostly done in ONE area, and do not represent the entire human population. So most studies done should never be completely taken at their word. (unless in cases where certain studies were actually done ALL over, but even that could be difficult). So no, not buying her "studies". Or other people here, saying that men are more "naturally good-looking". Come on really? Lot's of women don't wear makeup or do stuff with their hair, and lot's of women are naturally pretty without any of that stuff. Anyone can be naturally good-looking. Sorry but this thread has gotten a bit silly.

  Nikki

• LOTS, no apostrophe!

  Anonymous

• Well, actually I have heard some gay men say things like this about women. I have one gay male friend who says things like he thinks Cameron Diaz is sexy, or that she has "such a sexy body!" So it's not just some gay chicks who do that, some gay guys do that too. And really, what makes you think your lesbian friends are sexually attracted to Lautner? All they said was that they find his abs sexy. However that obviously doesn't mean they want to have sex with him or anything. And of course they are not sexually attracted to him, or any man. That just means that they appreciate the beauty in males. Just like how gay men can appreciate the beauty in females. And if you are confused about your lesbian friends words then why the hell didn't you just ASK them yourself? And maybe your lesbian friends are the only ones, what makes you think other lesbians would say things like that? Only SOME of them would, not lot's. Just like some gay men would. And to the other person quoting Lisa Diamond that's actually kind of crap, or the other person saying that femmes are bisexuals. Uh, no, many of them REALLY are gay. And come on, just as many women can have a great natural beauty like men. What makes people think these women were femmes anyway?

  Kay%20

• .

• Even though I love the ladies, if a man has his shirt off, I just have to look. I have a thing for a strong back, chest, and arms. Just beautiful to look at! Extra satisfaction if they're a little hot and sweaty.

• I will stop on reruns of white collar just to look at Matt Bomer he is so captivating but don't stay to watch long. As a young teen I would google photos of JFK Jr for the same reason. Never went as deep as wanting to have sex with them. Just appreciating their beauty. There are also cases of women who are just as captivating (Grace Kelly) but my interest in them remain shallow ... awe of beauty but not escalating to wanting to sleep with them. I guess the interest was best described earlier as similar to admiring the statue David