I hate "Destination Weddings"

"You''re going to use your vacation time in a place halfway around the world you really don''t want to visit anyway AND rent a hotel AND spend a fortune AND get us a gift! We''re so fabulous and rich we just can''t get married locally like those boring normal people!"%0D\ %0D\ I hate these selfish assholes.

• OP--I''m so in agreement. A coworker of mine is debating going to her gay best friend''s wedding in another city. The wedding itself is on a cruise ship that is going to Nova Scotia. \ \ She would be giving up her yearly vacation by going to this wedding, and ultimately miss 10 days of work. Since we are in a commissioned sales job it hurts more than someone with a different line of work. On one hand, she knows it doesn''t make sense to go, but obviously, she wants to support her friends. She can''t even attend the wedding and disembark for the cruise. I can''t even begin to imagine what thoughtlessness this entails. Said groom has already complained bitterly to my friend that others have called him out on the whole idea.\ \ Weddings have gotten too over the top in my opinion.

  Says the fag with the sister that needed a stole and tiara on her wedding day.

• over the top, yes, especially when the actual wedding does not matter at all - what matters is their life together after getting married

• Oh, here we go again.

• A friend is having hers at a lodge in rural Washington State. This despite the fact both her and her fiance''s families both live in Tennessee and the couple themselves live in Baltimore and all their friends live on the east coast. We thought about going but we''re faced with an out of state move at the end of this summer and can''t spare the cash to fly ourselves cross country, rent a car and drop a couple hundred a night on a room in the lodge.

• So don''t go.%0D\ %0D\ It''s that easy.%0D\ %0D\ Send a gift.

• .

• Actually, destination weddings are smart on the couple''s part. They usually only have to deal with a handful of relatives who bother showing up for one thing. Passive-agressive, yes, but effective nonetheless. \ \ Meanwhile, the other invitees feel so guilty (not!) that they save money by buying a nice wedding gift (that costs less than a plane ticket, but more than the cheap piece of crap they would''ve bought if the wedding were in a nearby city). \ \ Not to mention it provides more honeymoon time ;)\ \ Damn...now I''m thinking of having a destination wedding!

• Don''t listen to R5. Don''t go and DON''T send a gift.

• R8 beat me to it.\ \ Don''t go don''t send gift do not collect $200.

• I think the idea of destination weddings is just an extention/product of celebrity culture spoon fed to people by People magazine and the like. If no on had read about X and Y couple getting wed in Mexico, Italy, the Carribean etc., etc., I don''t think many couples would have come up with the idea of getting wed in exotic locales.%0D\ %0D\ Simple solution: respectfully decline and send the usual gift.

• [quote]I hate these selfish assholes.%0D\ %0D\ I know, they''re so ENTITLED, aren''t they?

• Hallelujah! These things are so selfish, I can''t stand them. Beforehand the bride always likes the idea because it will cut down on the guest list, but trust me she will be unhappy when some of her closest friends can''t make it, but some of the people she doesn''t give a shit about show.\ \ Why do I feel like the only one who doesn''t want to spend a week with the same people? That is not a vacation, in my opinion.\ \ Somewhere along the way, weddings turned into a license to be a douchebag. I get that it''s your big night. It''s not your big week + engagement party + bridal shower + etc.

• They hate everybody and are super pissed at having to buy all those wedding gifts over the years. There is no way they are going to get married without a return on their investment. They don''t want your company. They want your cash.%0D\ %0D\ If you are rich enough to attend then you are welcome because your friendship may come in handy in the future in terms of connections and invitations to the right parties/events.%0D\ %0D\ Also, they are saving a ton on the wedding because they don''t have to feed and booze everyone. Basically, they are giving you the heads up on their elopement and expect you to pay for it. %0D\ %0D\ %0D\ %0D

  Cheques accepted, cash preferred

• The only way I''d bother going to a destination wedding outside of the lower 48 is if the couple were paying. Otherwise, the invitation better have an itemized list of all the selfless and wonderful things they''ve done for me over the years.

• A neighbor's daughter was having her wedding in the Hamptons (where her parents live), even though she and her fianc%C3%A9 lived in New Mexico. All of her NM friends had to book rooms at hotels (which can cost a lot here). Plus, she was having a bridal shower on Saturday and the wedding on Sunday, since it was kind of a rushed deal. (She became pregnant and needed to be covered by her husband-to-be's health insurance, since she was a self-employed ---and self-proclaimed --- artiste and had none of her own. So it was going to be an all-weekend affair. People were booked for Friday night through Sunday lat the hotels and inns, airline tickets were bought, etc. The bridal shower date? September 15, the wedding date September 16. 2001. It didn't happen. Air travel was severely restricted and virtually nobody could make it to the shower or the wedding. She lost a shitload of money from the caterers because she had to cancel with very short notice. They didn't know if air travel would return to normal in time for the weekend, so they couldn't cancel until the last minute. People lost money on hotel rooms. Nobody was cut any slack despite the fact that we'd had an unforeseen air attack several days previously. They decided to reschedule the wedding for the Christmas season and then said "fuck it" and got married in a courthouse in NM.

• R15, I bet your neighbor''s daughter still manages to horrify people when she gets into why 9/11 was so horrible.

  "And I had spent 11 months looking for the perfect dress!"

• That story does sound annoying, but at least the parents lived in the wedding location. I get more mad when the bride and groom decide to have the wedding where NO ONE lives, as in a coworker of mine - his family is in Boston, her family is in San Fran. They got married in Florida. WTF?

• all it is is one more opportunity for the fish to control everyone. Make every one do all kinds of crap so she can feel powerful and compensate for her lack of penis.

  misshelenbedd

• So MHB finally regained her computer privileges%0D\ at the state mental asylum. Wonderful.

• An in-law''s brother pulled this shit insisting everyone follow him to Hawaii. I''d never witnessed a grown man throw a temper tantrum before.\ \ His family, having serious corporate farm money, informed him they''d present gifts after the couple repeated their vows at a church in Iowa - followed by a potluck so the aunts and great aunts could bring their favorite dish.\ \ The Turtle Bay pictures feature a small wedding party coked out of its fucking mind while the Iowa pictures focus on the bored newlyweds in a paneled chapel.

  Old people money prevents silly shit like this

• Well if it''s a fun destination and you get some sort of discounted stay/travel I love it. \ \ If someone wants me to come to a party in the Caribbean that they''re paying for, sign me up. But if they think it''s cute to guilt trip you because you don''t want to go to Bangladesh for your vacation, that''s minus one on my friends list.

• r4, if the wedding is at the Salish Lodge at Snoqualmie Falls, definitely go - it''s truly fabulous.

• Ugh! My brother & his fiancé are planning a Thai wedding next year...we are self employed so any time off is time without pay but because he is my brother I am getting the guilt trip from Dad about going. I won't be taking my children (they will be 3 & 5 at the time) as I don't think Thailand is an appropriate place for children & my husband won't go because he is "sick & tired of jumping through hoops for everyone else when no one would even think to show us the same courtesy"...so IF I go it will be just me but it's still going to be about $900 for airfare, $140 a night accommodation, meals, airport transfers, etc...plus wedding gift...and I will also have to pay someone to do my job while I am out of the country which will be about $80 to $100 a day depending on the temp agency we use. I'm leaning towards not going but I'm not sure how that will go over with my Dad!

  SB_Australia

• R23, tell your brother that, in the bluntest possible terms. Once a bride or groom gets these bridal magazine fantasies fixed in their addled little heads, the only thing that will drive it out is a chorus of disapproval from their nearest and dearest. Destination weddings are only appropriate for people with 1% money and lesiure time, and as brides and grooms are usually suffering from temporary insanity, someone's got to remind them. If not for your own sake, do it for everyone else they've invited.

• Seriously, you don't need to go.

• One of my friends has lots of odious relatives that had to be invited to her wedding. Solution? Paris. Weeded most of them out. Those of us who went really wanted to be there.

  NYStud

• [quote]One of my friends has lots of odious relatives that had to be invited to her wedding. Solution? Paris. Weeded most of them out. Those of us who went really wanted to be there. So the odious ones were the poor ones. I see.

• Poor? No. Weird and cheap? Yes. Mainly just weird.

  R26

• R24 R27 They should call the engagement announcement the "pre-divorce" traditonal fame whoring. The destination wedding "diving for dollars". I recommend "warm & cozy" darlings. I learned a great deal at camp Cupcake.

  http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/

  Martha Stewart

• [quote] I won't be taking my children (they will be 3 & 5 at the time) as I don't think Thailand is an appropriate place for children Children in Thailand? I hear there are houses, schools, parks and kindergarten classes filled with the inappropriate little fuckers everywhere you look. R23, you are a mean, provincial little frau.

  Give%20your%20family%20and%20the%20Thai%20people%20the%20gift%20of%20your%20abse

• I've made many trips to Thailand with my children over the years. It's a wonderful place for them. People are such wimps. I'd be more worried taking them to America.

  A%20grip.%20%20Get%20one.

• A-fucking-men to that brother.

• Of "hatch, match, and dispatch", the match is the only opportunity for pulling the strings on your own spectacle...and, boy, do people abuse the privilege. There's nothing wrong with a distant wedding, so long as it's not passed off as a self-paid "destination" for more than a scant handful of attendees -- and no arm-twisting.

• Aside from the red light districts in Bangkok and Phuket, Thailand is a perfectly lovely country for children, particularly near the beach and in the countryside. Agreed that the Aussie frau needs to unclench. Btw who the fuck is on a thread-bump bender this week?

• Bwa ha ha ha ha ha! Looks like I've pissed off a few people with my assertion that I don't think Thailand is a good place for me to take my children...oh well, I guess you can't please everyone & as I wasn't out to please anyone it really doesn't bother me... Here's something else to bunch your panties a little more...the Thais are the most xenophobic bunch of arseholes I've ever has the misfortune of meeting...every single last one I have has the displeasure of crossing paths with has been anti-white (but pro-money so quite happy for the tourist dollars to pour in). It one of THE most dangerous places on the planet for white people to travel to due to a governmental free pass for any Thai national who decides to rob, swindle, rape or murder a white person! Don't believe me? Google it...it's an eye opener! Call me racist if you like...I disagree, I dislike everyone equally. Also, as far as provincial goes, I've probably travelled more than most of you (due to an unfortunate work requirement) so I'm not sure that's accurate...I am mean though...I'm grumpy & I don't like people so that's accurate.

  SB_Australia