Why Is Being Snarky and Bitchy A Prerequisite for Being a Gay Man?

At least for a large percentage.%0D\ %0D\ There are posters on here who can never, ever, under almost any circumstances, post anything even remotely complimentary about much of anything. Do you think it''s cute and/or clever to demean everyone and everything that comes up? It''s one thing to be cynical (I''m about as cynical as it gets), but even I can find the good in something once in awhile.%0D\ %0D\ Jeesh!

• Take it to iVillage, bitch.

• No. Not even on Datalounge. In fact, other queers will ostracize you if you''re perceived to be "too negative". %0D\ %0D\ I consider snark to be an artform. But with mood altering drugs becoming so prevalent, and the infiltration of "bi" and "str8" guys into the culture-almost no one understands camp or irony anymore.

• You''re a little fat, aren''t you, OP?

  those pants aren''t doing you any favors, either

• OP is such a cunt!

• Normally, this comment really irritates me, but you really made me laugh, R3.

• I agree with you, although I don''t think cynicism is a positive trait either. A healthy dose of skepticism is good, but cynicism takes it over into the negative. DL can be an ugly, brutal place and I''ve often taken long breaks from its viperous ambience. There are some good folks here, though, and some very funny ones, which makes wading through the other disturbed commentary almost worth it.

• Actually, R3, I''m far from fat. If anything, I could stand to gain a few pounds.

  OP

• A prerequisite for ''fem'' gay men, I am yet to meet a ''butch'' gay make who is as snarky or bitchy as flamers.

  flame away but it''s true...

• OP, it''s the culture.

• The culutre, R9? I will admit the US has devolved into a pretty nasty place, overall. But among the straight people I''m around, I do not experience this kind of constant level of negativity.

• It''s about being unhappy and overcompensation for such.

• This is what they think women act like...%0D\ %0D\ Their obsessed with women ..especially female actresses, comedians and singers...%0D\ %0D\ and they wont pay attention to a gay entertainer unless he performs in drag.

• It isn''t. It just looks that way on DL.

• No- I think it is the nature of being anonymous on line. People will say all manner of things about stuff they know nothing about to get out their frustration and anger. Same thing going on elsewhere on line. %0D\ %0D\ Those of us who have a tad of recognition and put a stamp on our take more care to avoid the "pointless bitchery" I think. The rest let their anger rip.%0D\ %0D\ As for the homophobe on R8, funny is it not? Here you have a pot calling a kettle black. Defeats his own argument with his post, unknowingly, and displays the prejudice that causes it all in one sentence. He probably would restrain himself in a room with people who know him.

  charlie

• I don''t know. Ask this prince of wit.

  http://www.datalounge.com/cgi-bin/iowa/ajax.html#page:showThread,10459900,1

• on our "posts"

  charlie

• OP wears coolots and clogs.

  Yes dear, it''s a fabulous look

• OP, also keep in mind that datalounge is fuckin'' GROUND ZERO for crazy gay people.\ \ And I don''t mean "fun" crazy. There are some seriously deranged people who seem to come here just to lash out at others.

• I think "Take it to iVillage, bitch." should be the automatic first response to all new DL posts.

• Flyover thread.

• r20=120SF.

• r20=120SF

• "coolots"?

• It''s all about the snood.

  http://www.regretsy.com/2011/03/08/its-all-good-in-the-snood/

• That''s the way stupid people spell "culottes," R23.

• I sense earrings....caftans on OP.

• R25 = more stupid, misplaced ''merican superiority.

  http://www.google.com/search?q=coolots&hl=en&prmd=ivns&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=nRvUTcucDcbLgQfr-sEu&sqi=2&ved=0CCAQsAQ&biw=1084&bih=756

• Fags ARE bitchy!

  Ramona, keeping it REAL!

• Ornate earrings with a stunning caftan.

• Then you''re another moron, R26. The caftan-wearing gays are among the bitchiest and snarkiest of homosexuals.

• Usually gay men are subject of bullying and the only defense they kind of have is their wit and snarkyness.

• R31, you can only use that excuse for so long... Why don''t you guys man up and punch the guy who''s bullying you for a change?

• I''d much rather be around clever, bitchy fags than some fat flyover frau and her hen-pecked husband who think Velveeta cheese comes from the gpourmet section.

• Well smell YOU, Mary Alice!

• Time for new material, r33.

  Wipe your tears

• Most of the snarkiness orginates from New York City, since a great percentage of posters are from NYC. Along with the snarkiness is a lot of very clever observations. But,face the facts, the New York queers are the bitchiest and most negative ( It''s great to be number one).

• Straight men have sports.%0D\ %0D\ We have THIS. %0D\ %0D\ And thus it ever was, and shall be.

• BREAKING NEWS!!!! MayElla in Reception has been taken to Mr. Brinker''s office and paramedics have been called! They think she had a heart attack!! And she was doing so well at a-robics at church, Firm Believer-cize!

• Bitchy and clever is okay. Snarky and caustic is not.

• I heard Mr. B confessed it was he who forcefully sodomized her scrunchy collection!

• OP the Fat Cunt (who can stand to gain a few pound in order to get that job in the circus she longs for) assumes she knows what a large majority of gay men are like. Wow. What a hag.\ \ Well, Fat Cunt, one reason gay men tend to be bitchy with Fat Cunts is that they are so fucking nasty, as your post demonstrates. You attack a large majority of gay men and then sneakily admit you are talking about some people here on the DL.\ \ You Fat Cunt.

• Tell us how you really feel, R41.

• Dear R8:%0D\ %0D\ I worked in an all male office once, and to my knowledge, my coworkers were straight. %0D\ %0D\ Without a doubt the bitchiest, cuntiest, back- stabbingest bunch of bitches ever assembled under one roof.

• R43 must be the sole example of a gay man assuming that a group of men is all straight.

• Your caftan and ear rings look great...\ \ THERE!A COMPLIMENT!

  Meh

• The bitchniness is a defense mechanism. They lash out before someone can lash at them. Usually comes from years of being the target of homophobia.%0D\ %0D\ The competitivenenss in the bitchiness no doubt stems from the very male trait of needing to be top dog. Alpha males. Notice that when males are together - straight or gay - the humor is always to put down the other and be top dog.%0D\ %0D\ I cannot stand hanging out with a group of my gay friends. Everyone is angling to be top dog and shriek out the "wittiest"(bitchiest) comments/retorts.

• Bitch, please!

• You forgot funny, OP. All gay men are snarky, bitchy and funny.

  Association for Comprehensive Stereotyping

• Speaking of bitchy queens:\ \ \ Michael Musto''s 49 reasons why he hates celebs.

  http://www.villagevoice.com/2011-05-18/columns/49-reasons-why-musto-hates-celebrities/

• I know a lot of guys who fit OP''s description.%0D\ %0D\ When I meet guys who aren''t that way I almost think there''s something ''wrong'' with them.%0D\ %0D\ I end up gravitating towards nice, straight guys because they''re the last ones who''ll turn into bitchy queens.%0D

• [quote]A prerequisite for ''fem'' gay men, I am yet to meet a ''butch'' gay make who is as snarky or bitchy as flamers.%0D\ %0D

• I don't think all the gays who are snarky and bitchy are like this all the time, but we bring it out when it's needed or we just feel like it. I certainly treat people with respect until they wrong me or annoy me, in which case, their ears best be ready for a lashing. I just think in general, no one can diss someone in a more biting, hilarious way, then a gay can. 2 gays going at it? deliciously fun snark.

• I think it's a vicious cycle. I think a lot of gay people are pushed out of their family circles by homophobic parents and they are validly upset and angry. Then the rest of homophobic society wants gay men to live up to their preconceived stereotype of the "bitchy gay man," so the behavior gets reinforced. Add a predilection for substance abuse, which alters people's personalities and makes them bitter and angry, and boom. Cocktail for cuntiness. I personally do not tolerate that shit anymore. I understand the reasons and I am sorry that life is hard and people are assholes, but we all have a duty to be better to each other. I just the other day decided to stop pursuing a friendship with a gay man because he makes a mean remark every time we hang out. We were friends 20 years ago and stopped being friends due to a big fight. He moved to our home town where I happened to have moved also several years before, so we became friends on Facebook again due to the fact that our area is overrun with rednecks and we were the only two queer people around. But since he is an alcoholic, he has not matured at all emotionally since we were 20 and the exact same problems are present. I am sober and I don't put up with people saying negative or mean shit to me, period, because I don't do it to my friends in the first place. It comes down to treating others how you want to be treated. Bottom line. I just see it as someone who is "unskilled" as they say in Buddhism. Against appropriate targets, like Shitt Romney, racists or homophobes, have at it, but toward your friends, no. You need to examine your need to do that.

• Love that Musto column. Wish "The Gossip Show" never ended. I loved that show when I was freshly stoned.

• It comes from self-loathing or internalized homophobia.

  anonymous

• Gay men hate each other!

• I LOATHE butch lesbians and the "girls" who are attracted to them.. Can someone with an account start a thread on why some femme women are attracted to very manly "women", especially when they claim to hate men

• Pat, we have to be up early for church tomorrow, come to bed.

  Mrs.%20Pat%20Robertson.

• OP you are a cunt

• To make you ask stupid questions, OP. If you can't take the heat, please get the fuck out of this kitchen.

• r19 is new here.

• What I'm sick of is these gay guys who bring out their "sassy inner black woman." Biggest deal-breaker ever.

• [qquote]I sense earrings....caftans on OP. You're a fucking idiot. OP wears Under Armour t-shirts, skinny jeans and flip-flops. And one of those dopey knit caps with little ears.

• You know how bitchy fags can be.

  Jennifer%20North

• A sassy black womam is a hell of a lot better than a white hypocritical lesbian cunt.

• Oh, OP, you have it all wrong. We just don't like pussies.

  Like%20you.

• r65 is a black faggot!!

• Gay voice is a dick wilter

• I've noticed that the wit, snark, irony, etc. has shown up more and more in the straight world. "Let's make bitchy comments" about everything is all around us. Sometimes it's great. Sometimes it's annoying and exhausting.

• Lots of crud in this thread as in all threads where the OP's limited perceptions are posted as truth, usually in the form of a snarky question in the title. "Oh, why are all gay men sluts?" "Oh, why do all gay men cheat?" "Oh, why do all fags get the AIDS?"

• I came to DL to find support and kindness and friends. I heard it was a supportive, community spirited kind of place. I feel horror that a site for pointless gay bitchery can be so harsh and cruel, it's crushing me. Aunt Ida, I'm moving to Detroit to find happiness within the auto industry.

  Url

• Gay men value bitchiness over empathy.

• [quote]"Let's make bitchy comments" about everything is all around us. Sometimes it's great. Sometimes it's annoying and exhausting. Indeed, it is. Not every gay guy does it, and not all those who do take it to excess. But for some people, it is their default setting; they constantly make bitchy comments about everything, whether those comments are in any way funny, clever, or witty. It is rather juvenile, because they can't discern what is genuinely amusing and what is not. I know a few guys who are like this, and I agree, it is very annoying to be around them. The comments often come off as stupid and it is difficult to carry on a conversation when the person is "on" -- which seems to be always. Devastatingly withering comments that are perfectly delivered are greatly appreciated. Banal inanities -- not so much.

• I remember this guy I used to be friends with was the bitchiest queen ever. He'd always say "Eww" at everything - "Eww, did you just suck your tongue at me" or "Eww, she looks like a cross between Elvira Gulch and Sandra Bernhard."

• OP is making a derogatory overgeneralization, just like every bigot that ever was, and trying to veil it by whining "why can't we all just get along?" Gay men are no more or less nasty than any other group of human beings. I admit, there may be a particular common tone to gay snark, whether it be sparkling wit or vile, lizard-brain nastiness. But the same can be said of lesbians, or straight men or straight women. Bitchiness may come in different dialects but it's a common language.

  So%20go%20f**k%20yourself%2C%20OP.

• So Joan Rivers and Joan Crawford were gay men according to OP.