- The Bacon Strips one with the dog (or just his nose) running around the house screaming, "BACON! I GOTTA HAVE BACON! BACON! BACON! BACON!" is at the top of my list.
- Swiffer: [italic]What about love[/italic]...
- I want to viciously slap the parents singing (screaming) "Just call me angel of the morning baby" in that Toyota commercial.
- The Shirley Temple Target Commercial!
- Although the one with the bear pharmacist makes up for it.
- I thought the original Life Alert commercial from twenty years ago (my college days) was hilarious. You know, "I''ve fallen . . . and I can''t get up!" Also, the old man clutching his chest and falling was hilarious.%0D\
Even though I''m older and wiser now, I still get a guilty, snarky chuckle from it. In another twenty years, maybe not so much.
- r3, Hon, just touch my cheek, ok
- Any of those fucking insurance commercials! Geico, All State, Progressive, etc...
- My car''s making a funny noise, it goes like this VROOOOOOOM, EYAEYAEYA. It''s some car repair place, Amoco or Mineke or one of those. The commercial bugs the fuck out of me so I either mute it or change it when it comes on.
- That''s pretty terrible, R4.\
Any commercial where the marketing team had the clever idea of co-opting the now decade-old aesthetic of the hipster. Its sooooo fresh and hip. That fucking "defiant" Miracle Whip commercial comes to mind.
- Any fucking GEICO commercial makes me want to open a vein.
- R4, I thought that commercial was for American Airlines. Why would they use the same fonts and style as American Airlines.
- Another vote for the Shirley Temple song - I have to turn it off. \
It''s on such fucking heavy rotation.
- Totino''s Pizza Rolls. Two idiot teenaged girls, each wear headphones, blasting braincells to death. They each yell the line, "...but there''s nothing I love more than Totino''s Pizza Rolls," one right after the other, because they can''t hear each other.
"We''re the kids in America, WHOA-OH!"
- R14, I couldn''t get that "We''re the kids in America" song out of my head for weeks.
- The Pledge commercial with the brat that scribbles with crayon all over the house: "This is Mark! Mark makes marks!" while his indulgent idiot mother follows him around, laughing and shaking her head, while she removes all his damage with Pledge.\
I can only imagine what my mom would have done if I ran around the house scribbling with crayons on every available surface.
- Those weirdo, freaky yogurt commercials.\
Whatever that brand is, I will never buy just because those commercials are trying waaay too hard to get you to buy yogurt. \
All that white then those splashes of color. \
Annoying as hell.
- It''s usually a Jenny Craig commercial for me.
- r3 is correct. Ear-splitting.
- What about a "commercials you love" thread?
- The impossibly ugly couple at the grill, swatting the Hillshire Farm bratwursts or whatever they are with spatulas -- the one that ends with "GO MEAT!"\
The man is just ugly as sin but his companion (is it a woman?) looks like a lizard having a bad hair day.
- R21, the woman in that spot looks like Rachel Dratch''s and Harry Potter''s fuckchild.
Which = Elijah Wood
- The Travelocity commercial with the fat fuck and his family on the beach. Couldn''t they have cast a young hunk as the dad?
- R7, I believe you mean Juice Newton. K-rist!
- Excuse r24. He means Merrilee Rush.
- The Slomin''s Shield commercials.\
Especially the one with the fireman trying to calm his screaming neurotic wife over the phone. Finally, after reassuring her that they have the Slomin''s Shield, she turns in to a Stephord Wife.
- I hate the Lowe''s commercial with the idiot breeder couple buying a new washer because their old one is malfunctioning. Of course the idiots are jumping on the thing when it''s bouncing all over their laundry room, forcing me to scream at my TV "JUST UNPLUG THE DAMN THING YOU FUCKING MORONS!!!" scaring my cats and giving me a headache. \
There are just too many commercials lately with either idiots or douchebags pitching stuff. Turns me off completely.
- I hate the one with the fat fuck working late at the office and his wife calls about their anniversary. "Of course I didn''t forget about our anniversary, honey. It''s the number one thing a MAN should remember."\
Really? That''s the number one thing every man should remember? It''s a man''s duty to get his wife flowers and dinner? I guess the gays aren''t real men then.
Wow, that IS annoying
- Oh lawd. This made me feel a bit vomitous.\
"I roll hard through the streets and the cul-de-sacs,\
Proud parent of an honor roll student, Jack.\
I got a swing in the front, a tree house in the back,\
My #1 Dad mug says, Yeah, I''m the Mack"
- The one where Zooey Deschawhatsit sings about fabrics.%0D\
Who told that ninny she could sing? Who the hell looks up to her - hipsters who like to believe they''re going to be big stars even though they sound like wounded cows?
- R33, thank you. This one has the guy calling out, "I''m having chest pains!" I know there was one that had an old guy clutching his chest, mouth all agape and slowly falling to the floor. %0D\
What a sick, twisted fuck I am.%0D\
- Easily the Jennifer Lopez one where she says: "there''s a goddess inside every woman" Who writes this stuff?
- The stupid YouTube one where the guy drones on with "plain as plain ever was"... I click to skip the ad whenever I hear that nasty straight male nasal drip.
- [quote]Any of those fucking insurance commercials! Geico, All State, Progressive, etc...%0D\
I used to work for GEICO, and so I have a hatred of their commercials generally, however, there''s one right now that I''ve actually find hilarious.%0D\
It''s from the series with the deep-voiced man posing the question if switching to GEICO will save you money, and then answering with some kind of cliche.%0D\
Except this one is "Do dogs chase cats?" and it then cuts to a dog and cat placed behind the wheels of two cars (like Toonces the Driving Cat) and cut into what I think is a car chase scene from Bullitt.
The Voice of the Night
- Tax Masters!
- Just for R6:
- R37, there are commercials for YouTube???
- Before the music starts on a Vevo video, R41.
- What, R42? Why would YouTube need to advertise for more users?
- No, no, no - there are commercials for all sorts of products and artists before Vevo music videos start on YouTube. I never found out what the product is for the "plain as it ever was" commercial because I always click away before it''s revealed.
- Hey r37, that''s that annoying fucking yogurt commercial!!!
- R37 = idiot
- Really, R3? I want to do the same thing to the little snot in the other car.
must be a generational thing
- At least I can write a full sentence, R46.
Blowing You Dakota Fanning Kisses
- I don''t notice most commercials. I notice the big head woman in the insurance commercials who has big red lips and eyes on either side of her head who tells people they can get whatever they want online. \
This commercial makes me think some ad guy said, "You know how that other insurance has a lizard spokesperson? Let''s get a human who looks like a lizard."
- I despise all of the Progressive commercials and Flo in particular. The new ones with that 70s style dude are equally annoying.\
I can''t stand the stupid Zoosk commercials because they make no sense.
- I don''t like the Geico Radio commercials because they seem pointless in pimping an insurance company. And who is the guy with the Gecko? Looks like Michael Cera.
In my high school there was a guy who looked that dude and he must have pissed some seniors off, because one day he came to 3rd period class with his hair and shirt all wet and the rumor went around that he''d been "flushed" in the Senior Boy''s Head.\
The casting agent probably put out a call for "youthful looking nerdy dweeb for radio host role."
"I got too many things to do .. to die!"\
"They knew me better than I know myself!"
- LOL, R40. Thank you.%0D\
- Anything that a hipster douchebag sings.
- R53, that woman also says "They were compassionate, they feeled my pain".\
I''m compassionate too, but there''s no excuse for letting that kind of grammar get on TV.
- I just want to know where she got the $$$ to get her pain felt at CCoA.
- This stupid Volvo commercial with the most fucking annoying hipster song ever.
- There''s a Dairy Queen ad with a guy with creepy mustache. At the end he sits down in front of the Grand Canyon (?) and shows a huge ball package in his tan shorts, then covers it, so we only get a glimpse.
- r38 - I admit I like that Geico ad too, and one with the piggy.\
But the All-State ads with Ryan O''Reily are embarrassing to watch.
- Cartoon DingleBEARs with toilet paper sticking to their assholes.
Sloppy shitting Air Wick bunnies spraying watery shit all over the place
- There''s a commercial for Gain laundry detergent that uses the word "gooder" instead of "better," not ironically like "gooder" is used in an OJ commercial with Jane Krakowski. I really want to find out what advertising pinhead wrote that commercial so I can cut off his hands so he can''t type anymore.
- I disagree, R49. If they wanted to do that, they would have hired Steve Burton.
- Do they still the air the ad of the dog wiping his ass on the carpet while the horrified housewife screams, "Toby! NOOOOO!"?
- Just when you think the Trojan Touch commercial can''t get any more annoying with the squealing bridal shower guests, you get to meet the future groom: "Suhhweet!"
- [quote]But the All-State ads with Ryan O''Reily are embarrassing to watch.%0D\
Do you mean the "Mayhem" ads? I thought that was Dean Winters.
- I find the carpet cleaning commercial with the house chickens and llama to be utterly repulsive and witless.
- The McDonald''s "Nicely Played commercials for their dollar menus. I call them the "Pussy Whipped" commercials because the two I''ve seen both have a fucking idiot guy who doesn''t have the balls to tell his girlfriend to shove it up herass. The first has the ghetto girl telling the guy about her sister''s horrible boyfriend who likes to watch football on Sundays and the second has the fugly, simpering bitch with the idiot nicknames.
- The Seroquel commerical where the little cloud follows all the sad people around. I just want to slap them and shout, "Snap out of it!".
- The Brinks Home Security commercials where all the home invaders are white guys.
- The Mayhem Allstate guy is hysterical.%0D\
It is Dean Winters, Ryan O''Riley was his character in OZ.%0D\
Which I happened to catch last night on HBO.%0D\
Damn, that was a brutal show.%0D\
- I hate the Marshall''s advert with the woman who brags about how much she saved. French woman: I speak five languages. Smug bitch: I just bought five dresses for $50.
- those esurance commercials where the pudgy blond dude is so smug about saving people money. so stupid, so annoying.
- That stupid TaxMaster blowhard. Rapid-fire questions about possible tax problem scenarios and then he breaks into ''Mr. Friendly'' mode when he introduces himself and his services. Several stories circulating nationally about TaxMasters being a huge fraud.
- R68, I''ve never seen the first one you mention but that second one with pet names goings on was atrocious. My BF and I just sat there staring.
- The Skechers commercial with Brooke Burke, where she yaks about the amazing sneakers that will firm your body. At the end of the ad, she does this slo-mo twirl while the camera zeroes in on her lower half and freeze frames on her butt.\
These shoes ain''t magic - she always had that butt. Put the shoes on Carnie Wilson....
- That stupid Kia commercial with the hamsters in the minivan as they loudly play a cover of the chorus of "Weapon of Choice" by Fat Boy Slim.\
Is it supposed to be cute? Who the fuck wants to buy a minivan because hamsters drive it?
- This one is on the radio. %0D\
A little girl asks her mother to sing her a song at bedtime and her mom sings "Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star" with lyrics that include science facts. %0D\
It''s a public service ad to get girls interested in the sciences, so it''s a worthwhile message...but that song goes on and on and on...and just when you think it''s ended, the girl joins her mom in repeating the last verse. Lately I''ve been changing the station whenever this commercial comes on the radio.
- This one ...%0D\
- [quote]Really, [R3]? I want to do the same thing to the little snot in the other car.\
That little bastard needs his ass kicked in the worst way!
- The ads for those diabetes testing things, the one that starts with the black lady going "Owwww" when she sticks her finger. Her "acting" is atrocious and she looks mentally challenged. \
At the end of the commercial, she''s smiling at the camera while she says "ah''m glad ah deed".
- Trojan Vibrations%0D\
And the winner of the losers... The Esurance ads with the idiot who makes the chirpy "bing" sounds:%0D\
- The Truvia sweetener commercial, its jingle sung by yet another annoying hipsterette.
- "Iss uh noo dawn, iss uh noo day,/AmI feelin'' goooood!"\
Every fucking ten minutes on ION Television, every evening. Ruins my Criminal Minds and Without a Trace rerun block.
Weight Watchus, becuzz it WORKS!
- Any of those commercials with a self-satisfied cunt frau whose done "research" on "corn sugar" (not high fructose corn syrup) and come to the conclusion that everything''s hunky dory since "whether it''s corn sugar or cane sugar, your body can''t tell the difference," as if it fucking matters since cane sugar isn''t exactly a miracle health food that''s good for you. Regardless, it''s a most likely a lie and HFCS is probably worse for you.\
There was also that older commercial with the young woman, the popsicle and her idiot boyfriend, spewing the same bullshit.\
Besides being annoying they''re just blatant propaganda funded by the Corn Growers Association.
- I love the corn syrup parody commercial with Jackie Beat.
- OMFG, R86, I''m crying. The last take - the KKK - has me shaking with laughter. \
I''m going to use that non-sequitur - "that it''s made with corn, that it''s okay in moderation" - in regards to horrible things.
- 877-393-4448! Ugh!! Muy GHETTO!!!
- The ugly bald white guy who talks to the dog who wants to sell the baked beans recipe. If the dog is going to talk, can''t it say something witty or worthwhile? Hate!%0D\
Is the Mary Poppins on Broadway only? I HATE that "As a jaded New Yorker..." woman. "It''s about fun!!!" It''s about time I punched you in the gunt.
- Those A&P commercials where the people holler "WEO!"
R. Van Winkle
- JG Wentworth -- 877-CASH-NOW\
That awful commercial filmed on a city bus where all these opera singers want their "cash now."\
Those are some ugly MFs on that bus, for sure!
- r28, I hate that commercial too, and for the same reasons.
- Oooh! I just saw it!\
It''s that ridiculous McDonalds commercial with that inane sunglasses-wearing hipster in every shot.\
The production budget looks like it was under $100. \
Just annoying and horrible. \
I do no frequent McDonalds "restaurants" so this lame effort is wasted on me.
- It''s not on anymore but I still feel hate for the Vizio commercial that started out with some annoying woman dancing.
- I always mute the TV when commercials come one. Except for the Subway ones with the adults speaking in kids'' voices. Those are funny.
- [quote]There''s a Dairy Queen ad with a guy with creepy mustache. At the end he sits down in front of the Grand Canyon (?) and shows a huge ball package in his tan shorts, then covers it, so we only get a glimpse.\
I''d tap that, R59.
- [quote]That awful commercial filmed on a city bus where all these opera singers want their "cash now."\
Those commercials are revolting, the camera''s so close you can see their uvuli.\
And can you imagine how bad that bus smells with that stankbreath?
- R81, are you an Antenna TV watcher? The worst part of that commercial is when the man asks if she can read his meter numbers, and she shakes her head and has a look on her face like she just bit into a lemon.
- Lap band surgery or bail bondsmen. The tackiest. On during Judge Judy.
- The Bush''s Baked Beans commerical, would love to kick that nasty, sneaky, dog to the curb.
- I hate the "plain folks" ads where they hire somebody homely enough not to be otherwise allowed on tv to speak frankly about how important it is not to tax utlilty companies. As if this is of grave consequence to the average person in America. %0D\
I also hate that horrible blonde who extols the virtues of petroleum production all evening long on MSNBC. I''d like to plunge her head into the sludge washing up on the beaches of the Gulf.
- There''s a Heald College commercial where a scary obese woman with a lisp says something like "You don''t have another USELESSH JOB, you''re not shhtruggling anymore." I guess someone got offended, because they edited out the word "USELESSH," and she goes right into saying "You don''t have anotherJOB." It''s kind of jarring.
- R102, that "horrible blonde" is Brooke Alexander, who used to play Lucinda''s longlost sister Samantha on "As The World Turns".\
I have no idea what her social views or politics may be, but she''s an actress & commercials are a gig, so give her a break.
- I can''t stand the McDonald''s pet name commercial...UGH!!!
- The SSDI lawyer specialists, Binder and Binder. First, I always think "Dicker and Dicker of Beverly Hills" when it airs. Second, the moron who puts on his TX 10-gallon hat while standing in front of a pix of the Capitol Building. "We''ll take care of it, you have enough to worry about." Or something like
- all of them
don''t watch television
- I WANT TO KILL THAT WHORE IN THE MCDONALDS COMMERCIAL THAT CALLS THAT FUCKWAD A CHIPMUNK
- I''m awfully sick of the Progressive Insurance ads. I don''t care if the actress did get a degree in musical theatre, I am SICK of those ads!
musical theatre queen from way back
- I''m probably going to get a lot of hate for this but... all those animal abuse commercials that run, seemingly nonstop in the morning. That''s not what I need to see when I''m having my breakfast.%0D\
Laurie Metcalf looks like she''s about to have a nervous breakdown in the one she narrates.
- The appliance commericals with Kelly Ripa. That bitch knows damn well she doesnt touch a washing machine. Its kind of offensive because everyone knows her fine Mexican husband does all the housekeeping.
- Those awful Honda commercials with zombies/trolls/freaks. Seriously? Some agency got paid for that??
- R110 Both sides of my family tree have animal lovers going back for ages and I will not flame you, my man! \
LOL Laurie Metcaff is basically on the verge of stroking out on that one she does. Dang. \
The one with the song "Arms of an Angel" is the one which is just far to much. Jesus Christ in heaven that one alone should be played after five p.m. or something.
- I too hate the life alert lady when she says "help" twice.........I have to mute it because it so annoying! I can''t wait for that commercial to go off the air!!!!!!!!!!!!
- I hate the pprogressive commercials where the opposing insurance company employees show that girl a copy of their calendar, which they imply is filled with pictures of hot men. She looks really stupid and says "Oh yeah??????" It''s damn insulting.
- The newest Cover Girl commercial with Ellen. She''s smug and annoying, the lens is Criscoed, and it''s just awful overall. \
Oh, and she looks like she has dentures in that spot.
- I think this is (mercifully) only a California tv and radio spot, but it''s for TruMoo, an allegedly "healthful" chocolate milk product from Altadena Dairy.%0D\
It consists of a "good angel"/milkman and a "bad angel"/red-suited schlub who convince a grocery-shopping mom that she should buy this chocolate concoction for her kids.%0D\
The production values are so low that your local mattress and "crazy" electronics dealer commercials look like a Terence Malick film in comparison. It looks like it was filmed through aquarium water that hasn''t been changed since the Eisenhower administration.%0D\
Just painful on every level.
- On the subject of horrid radio ads, anything involving donating cars for charity is guaranteed to make you want to drive knitting needles through your ears.%0D\
Case in point: the jangly, off-key, and wholly diabolical nursery rhyme that is "1-8-7-7 cars for kids!!!," sung by a chorus that was recruited from the "Village of the Damned."
- I''m not sure what the exact product is (business cards maybe?), but it''s about making a good first impression. It''s a close-up of a thuggish looking black man in sunglasses with a scowl, and as the camera pulls back it turns out he is a mincing queen who is a wedding planner. Not sure what the message is there, but it offends me for some reason.
- The reason it offends you, R119, is that you are a humorless douchefag.
- I hate the cheerios commerical with the little girl saying everything is for babies except when her mom opens the pantry door and she sees the cheerios. That''s one child I would like to drawn in her milk.
- "It''s a close-up of a thuggish looking black man in sunglasses with a scowl, and as the camera pulls back it turns out he is a mincing queen who is a wedding planner. Not sure what the message is there, but it offends me for some reason."%0D\
Oh, the irony . . .
- [quote]I hate that Life Alert* one where the mannish old lady whines, "I live alone, and [bold]laid[/bold] there for 8 hours til someone found me".\
Too much information but impressive stamina.
- Where to start? Here are some Greatest Hits circa 2011...%0D
"You look like a beach angel!"%0D
"Go, Big Money!... I mean Go, it's your break". That Flo beeyotch MAKES MILLIONS A YEAR, no joke, and no reaction is ever quite right in those commercials, you notice that? The actors always look confused, like "What's the punchline?"%0D
"Raise the roof, 1999" (I want to reach into the TV and punch out that girl).%0D
"Maybe a movie date would be better" (like "movie date" is even a term... there is a special place in Hell for the ad agency handling Zoost. The office romance whore one too, awful).%0D
And, yeah, that blond brat in the car who feels for his friends with uncool parents... I volunteer to give him a whopping big time. My parents would've set him straight fast. "Sit still, take off those damn earphones and shut the hell up."%0D
Granted, I work at home so these are on in background ad nauseum. Thanks for the laughs on this thread though -- that corn parody was a howler. (And, sorry, those animal ads are crucial... good for a cry and make people think at least. Maudlin or not, trust me, the truth is far worse -- just go volunteer at a pound!)
- That Trojan 3-headed vibrator (or whatever the hell it is) commercial - OMG, those harpies at the bridal shower! "It blows your hair back!" %0D\
I could not believe what I was hearing. Jeezus, keep your clit proclivities to yourself!
- This thread is filled with old fucking queens.%0D\
Most of us under the age of 68 own a DVR.
- Hey twink at r.126, you''d be surprised at how many people DON''T own a DVR.
- I hate that Prilosec commercial with that idiot stressing out about his heartburn and when to take a pill. That putz needs Xanax more than a heartburn remedy.
- I don''t remember which medication it''s for but it''s the one with all the middle-aged men talking about the foolish risks they took as a young man skating on a pond or swimming in a river. Well, of course you did. That''s what being a kid is about. So now you''re saying you shouldn''t have done it. Idiots.
- Are you ready get set? Are you ready get set? Are you ready get set? Get Ready! Let''s go!
- What. Nobody hates those goddam Activia commercials? Just the jingle makes my skin crawl. Act-tiv-ia!! Blech. I can''t change the channel quick enough.
"Hi ! I''m Ronnie DOUCHE!" HATE IT!\
Those "Go Daddy" ads with Danica Patrick! Trying to make butchy little Danica look glam! PUH--LEEZ!\
Maxi pad / tampex ads that use that blue fluid! Honey---if your hooha is leaking blue stuff, you need to see a doctor NOW! \
The Cialas ad with the couple in separate bath tubs! WTF???? Dontcha think that being in the SAME TUB might help hubby get a boner????
- I also hate that incredibly twee animated PopTarts commercial.
- K...A...R...S....KARS for Kids%0D\
- Some of us watch sports or news programs on LIVE teevee, despite our DVRs, R126.
Carrie Fisher, still eating Jenny
- The one where the lady with heartburn takes all the pillows around the house to prop herself up in bed.\
She yanks a dog bed out from under a bulldog in the commercial and it always strikes me as being so harsh. The poor dog nearly flips off the cushion when she yanks it.
- The Long John Silver commercials featuring the mute guy with the shit-eating grin.
- I think it makes a good point but the commercial for the cable company railing against the competition not giving customers a choice. The young guy is buying jeans and is told by two black-suited men that gold clown pants are what he wants, then he must take a tuba instead of a guitar. It runs constantly and is driving me nuts.\
And for the record, I gave up my DVR for a cheaper cable package, but this commercial infests the few shows I watch every week.
- I have to admit, that stupid "beach angel" commercial makes me laugh. But I''m not laughing about that stupid Trojan vibrator commercial - that''s just obnoxious.
- For r132...
I hate it when commercials make me laugh and remember them
- This is a commercial I like. The facial expressions on the guy (especially at the 10-12 second mark) crack me up. And the little girl is cute without being cheesy-kid cute.
- The one about ''flash mob.'' They play it every 5 minutes. I wouldn''t use their product EVER because of the overplayed commercial!
- WHAT IN HELL is that "flash mob" guy even saying? I may be way out of it, but I CANNOT for the life of me figure out what he''s yelling about!
- I love all the ads that offer legal defense for people that have used pharmaceuticals that may cause all manner of dire side-effects---including death. They post a contact number to report your bad experiences in every ad. (If one of these medications actually killed me, I would call from hell and make farting noises into the phone.)
- There are 2...1) Angie's list.2) Any AllState commercial with the fake Morgan Freeman voice over. CAN'T STAND EITHER OF THEM!!!!!!
- 1) Eggo Waffles with the nerdy black tween who dances away from the table when there's a breakfast he doesn't like. Why he gotta dance? Was this directed by Tyler Perry - it's so broad.
2) The AFLAC ads with the woman speech therapist trying to help the duck regain his voice. When she starts with the loud "AAACCCKKK", I cringe.
- The red-headed witch from the Wendy's commercials singing a sultry song about the new pretzel burger, and trying to find a word that rhymes with pretzel.
- Jan the receptionist from the car commercials
- I was thinking about this thread the other day when I saw the Yoplait commercial where the woman's voice over continuously says "and we were like ..." -- "and you were like ...".
It's like fingernails on a blackboard.
I so want to punch every single person involved with getting this on the air.
- Activia Greek Yogurt commercials with all the Jamies - each and every one of whom should drown in a vat of yogurt.
- ....although maybe if Jamie Dean had been in the commercial....
- Those two men in the Sonic commercials. Yuck!