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Straight Guys at the Gay Bar

So a straight male friend of mine told me yesterday that he and his friend, also straight guys according to him, have been going dancing at the gay bar. I knew straight young women often did this, but it's the first I've heard of straight guys doing it. Do you think he may be in the closet? I'm seriously out of touch and have no idea what the 20 somethings are doing to be cool these days.

by Anonymousreply 232August 16, 2022 5:32 PM

What does he look like?

Any str8 guy who's at a gay bar who's hawt is actually in the closet.

by Anonymousreply 1March 27, 2011 6:02 PM

Yes. Next.

by Anonymousreply 2March 27, 2011 6:06 PM

I know one good-looking guy who always goes with a pretty girl, just for the attention.

by Anonymousreply 3March 27, 2011 6:06 PM

Some guys take a long and winding road to coming out. Your "straight" friend is one of those guys.%0D %0D The straight women you've seen are pretty much fag hags...and even fag hags are dancing with their gay male friends. With whom are straight guys are dancing? No doubt they're dancing with other men. Straight men don't dance with other men. Your "straight" male friend is gay.%0D %0D Give him time; he'll eventually come out.

by Anonymousreply 4March 27, 2011 6:08 PM

I was just going to say, they are attention whores. Most straight men in their 20s are these days.

by Anonymousreply 5March 27, 2011 6:11 PM

Straight men don't do this. Straight men go to clubs to meet women. Very few straight men go to clubs for the dancing.

by Anonymousreply 6March 27, 2011 6:15 PM

ITA R4, when I finally came out friends wanted to IMMEDIATELY know what my mother's reaction was; I was like, "Gee, guys, since I took, um FOREVER, to come out, maybe I can give her a little time to process it?" %0D %0D She's fine w/it btw.%0D %0D I have a straight friend, who recently asked me if he should advertise his business in a gay rag; I couldn't help but think, "Wow. Maybe he is?" %0D %0D But it is such a long and winding road...some guys NEVER admit it.%0D %0D That's really too bad. %0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 7March 27, 2011 6:15 PM

They're looking to being felt up in the toilets

by Anonymousreply 8March 27, 2011 6:16 PM

He may be gay and working his way out. Or he might be fine w/ his sexuality and just having fun. I know a number of young straight guys who feel as comfortable at a gay bar, then they do at a straight one.

by Anonymousreply 9March 27, 2011 6:21 PM

Straight women, bi women, lez women, go to straight bars all the time. ALL women are obsessed with men. Always have been always will be. AND IT FUCKING SUCKS! %0D %0D Straight men do not go to gay bars unless they have a gay friend who wants them to try it or they are dared into it. Otherwise they aren't as straight as they claim to be.

by Anonymousreply 10March 27, 2011 6:21 PM

I live in Charlottesville, VA and there is one gay bar here in town. Plenty of straight college kids and open-minded straight folks go there on weekend nights. It is also known as the best dance bar in town. The club also is BYO liquor (put your name on the bottle and leave it behind the bar), so it also ends up being an inexpensive night out.

by Anonymousreply 11March 27, 2011 6:22 PM

Yeah, R9, but do they go alone, or do they go with friends? I'm in my twenties - the supposedly more free-wheeling and liberal generation - and I've never known a straight guy to go to gay clubs without a gay friend in tow.

by Anonymousreply 12March 27, 2011 6:23 PM

He is gay OP. It is a longer journey for some.

by Anonymousreply 13March 27, 2011 6:24 PM

You can told how old a lot of this board is. As someone who is in their lower 20s yes, I know lots of straight guys who enjoy the occasional trip to a gay bar.

A lot of times they have gay friends or female friends who like going so they will go with them. Sometimes they just go because they enjoy the attention and it strokes their ego for gay guys to flirt with them or buy them drinks.

It is kinda annoying for us gay guys, but I think it is good to see my generation being much more open-minded.

And yes r4, it is 2011. A lot of straight guys will joking dance with other straight guys or even gay guys. I've danced with many of my straight friends.

I'm sorry you still hold on to your out dated opinion that all straight guys are homophobic or uncomfortable with their sexuality but it ain't true.

by Anonymousreply 14March 27, 2011 6:25 PM

R11...you are describing an entirely different situation than the one OP described.

by Anonymousreply 15March 27, 2011 6:25 PM

The guy is pretty good looking. He's not like model good looking, but yes women do like him and he's single.

by Anonymousreply 16March 27, 2011 6:26 PM

r11, and who do the straight men dance with. If it's the best dance bar in town, straights wouldn't go to it if they can't dance with women. Or are women there too? And then it's not so gay after all.

by Anonymousreply 17March 27, 2011 6:27 PM

No one's contradicting you, R14... Younger straight guys are much more open than their older peers, and I have seen many straight guys at gay bars before. But straight guys going alone to a gay bar, without any gay friends in the mix? Highly, highly unlikely.

by Anonymousreply 18March 27, 2011 6:29 PM

I've literally seen a guy and a girl fucking at a gay club before. I don't know about the guy OP described, but yes, there are straight (or at least bisexual) men who go to gay clubs.

As people have said before, I think gay clubs have become more of a go-to place for people/couples who just want to let go and have fun dancing without the gender politics of "straight" clubs.

by Anonymousreply 19March 27, 2011 6:30 PM

According to a friend of mine, something like that happened at a gay bar here in Houston, R19. The guy and his girlfriend had gone with a gay friend to a leather bar, and the patrons actually encouraged them to have sex on the floor. And so they did, while the gay guys watched.

by Anonymousreply 20March 27, 2011 6:35 PM

Actually this is the kind of thing that makes me think a straight guy is legitimately straight.

In my closet days I wouldn't have been caught dead anywhere near a gay bar. I'd cruise for other "bicurious downlow guys" on Craigslist or whatever, but actually be seen in a gay bar? No effing way.

Some straight guys are secure enough with themselves to be cool with this, and have figured out its probably a great place to meet straight chicks hanging out with their gay friends.

by Anonymousreply 21March 27, 2011 6:41 PM

I know a group of young straight guys who party in certain Twink bars in the Castro and even know a few who love to visit sleazy dive and drag bars on Polk St on occasion. They like the novelty, taboo, support for their queer friends and relatives, the lack of straight bar aggressive enery, even just the music. %0D %0D Sometimes their GF's or platonic female friends drag them there, sometimes not. The girls dance with the girls, and yes, the straight boys dance with each other, or alone. These guys love the attention and free drinks. One of the guys might be "questioning" or "observing closely" and everyone half-jokes that he may or not be gay. Unfortunately, I think he's actually straight, too.%0D %0D It seems to me that some straight guys can have a blast at gay bars and it's no big deal.

by Anonymousreply 22March 27, 2011 6:41 PM

I have a straight friend who once said "Hey let's go to *** gay bar and watch everybody." I told him if he wanted to go stare at something go to the zoo, we're not there for your entertainment.

by Anonymousreply 23March 27, 2011 6:46 PM

"So a straight male friend of mine told me yesterday that he and his friend, also straight guys according to him, have been going dancing at the gay bar"%0D %0D %0D %0D Sorry, but straight guys don't go out dancing unless it is with a woman, no matter how "open-minded" they are. Some of the queens here are just clueless.

by Anonymousreply 24March 27, 2011 6:47 PM

I guess I could understand a straight guy going to a gay bar on occasion. But the question is, "Where is his interest?"%0D %0D If he only goes to gay bars, then he's just having a difficult time coming out as a gay man. If on the other hand, he goes to a gay bar now and then with a friend but men don't hold an interest for him sexually--and at his core, he really wants to meet a woman, then he's straight. You just cannot keep going to a gay bar and expect to be taken for straight.%0D

by Anonymousreply 25March 27, 2011 6:59 PM

Real straight guys do not enjoy "the attention and free drinks" from other males and if they are looking for women they are not going to go to a gay bar on the off chance there will be a bunch of women there to choose from.

by Anonymousreply 26March 27, 2011 7:02 PM

I agree R18 that a straight guy going alone to a gay bar is a good cause for questioning. Multiple straight friends going together to a gay bar though as seems to the case in the OP I've seen happen.

And yes R24 a straight guy is not allowed to enjoy dancing. And a gay guy is certainly not allowed to like sports right? We don't like to be stereotyped so lets avoid doing the same.

It is gays like you who ruin their efforts to reach out to us. In some instances straight guys like gay environments because they can let loose and not having to worry about conforming to straight stereotypes. Rather than let them have fun lets attack them for not being a stereotypical meathead, that makes sense.

by Anonymousreply 27March 27, 2011 7:03 PM

I agree with R27.

It's definitely reason to suspect if a guy is just going to a bar/club alone, but there is nothing absurd about straight men liking to dance. The reason they do it at gay clubs is that if they did it in other heteronormative settings, they would be mocked by the women and other men for not conforming to the gender rules of straight clubs (girls dancing, men leering at them).

by Anonymousreply 28March 27, 2011 7:07 PM

As per the logic on this thread, nudie bars full of naked, big breasted women, should also attract gay guys, who just go there to hang out but consistently refuse to put money in the strippers g-strings.

(Me thinks somebody was caught in a gay bar and is trying to spin it)

by Anonymousreply 29March 27, 2011 7:09 PM

In a large city with lots of dance venues, it's odd for str8 guys to go to gay bars to dance. In a small city, it's not all the unusual. Str8 guys can have fun at gay bars. It's just not like it used to be when we were all segregated.

by Anonymousreply 30March 27, 2011 7:10 PM

Ok, I'm 50, but even when I was in my 20s, growing up in California, my str8 friends would go to gay bars and discos, because that was the cool thing to do in our crowd (this was both in LA and the bay area). This is not some new trend. Straight hipsters of whatever generation do this. Young people act like they invented the wheel sometimes.

by Anonymousreply 31March 27, 2011 7:12 PM

Men and women dance all the time in "straight" clubs. It is not seen as weird at all.

by Anonymousreply 32March 27, 2011 7:13 PM

I have lots of straight friends. And all of them have been to gay bars before. On their own, even. The girls like to go there where they don't get constantly hit on, and sometimes take their boyfriends with them. The guys go sometimes because they like the attention they get, or in some cases, because the few straight girls there have let their guard down, and they can pick them up easier.%0D %0D (I used to go with a straight female friend of mine all the time, and I swear, she got picked up more often than I did... found two boyfriends that way in fact. And no, none of them were even bi.)%0D %0D A couple of the straight guys I've met in bars fall into the 'misogynist' camp... they hate women, but they're sexually turned on by them. They hate dealing with them as people, they just want their pussies. I've had more than one say "You are so lucky you don't have to deal with those fucking bitches just to get laid".%0D %0D A couple of other straight guys fall into the "I'm so poor I can't afford to buy drinks, so I'll head to a gay bar, flirt, and let the guys buy me drinks". That works for them. They never let it go any further. THey're typically college students, or guys down on their luck, or in one case, I knew a nice guy that turned out to be temporarily homeless.%0D %0D So there are all sorts of reasons for straight guys to go to gay bars. Ego, respite, curiosity, and even financial reasons.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 33March 27, 2011 7:17 PM

This is a NYC thing. There are no straight guys in NYC people.

by Anonymousreply 34March 27, 2011 7:18 PM

R6 is a moron. Seriously. What a rigidly narrow mind. And a pretty homophobic point of view too.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 35March 27, 2011 7:18 PM

Old people grasp onto the wheel until their arthritic paws curl too far inwards.

by Anonymousreply 36March 27, 2011 7:19 PM

I only scenario where I'd believe the straight guy at the gay bar is actually straight would be:

(1) He's the owner

(2) He's close to his gay brother and his brother is having a birthday round of drinks at the gay bar and straight brother popped in for one drink before leaving

(2) Sort of like number (2) where the straight guy is generally not homophobic and his girlfriend/wife has a gay friend who is having some celebration and the straight guy agrees to go briefly before they leave and go somewhere else.

by Anonymousreply 37March 27, 2011 7:21 PM

Why would a straight man who wants to get laid go to a gay bar ?

by Anonymousreply 38March 27, 2011 7:22 PM

Yes, I've known several straight guys who go to gay bars - usually because they're with a mixed group (women and gay men), and they don't think it's a big deal. Sometimes they say they can approach women much easier in gay bars than in straight bars (there's less tension and expectation; they're both approaching each other as "outsiders" or whatever), whereas in straight bars women are more on their guard and other straight guys can compete to pull alpha male bullshit on each other. Who knows how much success straight guys really get in gay bars though. Also, sometimes you just want to have fun with good dancing and music and push your boundaries a little.%0D %0D Sure, all of the above could just be a convenient excuse for some curiosity and experimentation, or a long road for coming out, but I don't see anything weird about it. I'm gay and go to straight and even lesbian bars with friends sometimes even though there's presumably nothing "there" for me. %0D %0D If I made it a habit of JUST going to straight and lesbian bars, well, that might be a bit weird. And straight guys going frequently to gay bars just with other "straight" guys also seems a bit odd.

by Anonymousreply 39March 27, 2011 7:27 PM

Straight men usually %0D dance for one reason.

by Anonymousreply 40March 27, 2011 7:28 PM

He's not looking to get laid r38. He doesn't have casual sex. He's had a few long lasting relationships and he says those are the only women he's slept with. I admit it made me suspicious, but maybe he's just a nice guy.

by Anonymousreply 41March 27, 2011 7:32 PM

I bet if you checked, OP, those straight guys all prelubed

by Anonymousreply 42March 27, 2011 7:34 PM

"If I made it a habit of JUST going to straight and lesbian bars, well, that might be a bit weird. And straight guys going frequently to gay bars just with other "straight" guys also seems a bit odd."

Aren't these the circumstances that are relevant in this thread, though? Everyone under the age of 40 already knows that straight guys can and do enjoyably visit gay bars with their gay friends.

by Anonymousreply 43March 27, 2011 7:36 PM

[quote]The reason they do it at gay clubs is that if they did it in other heteronormative settings, they would be mocked by the women and other men for not conforming to the gender rules of straight clubs (girls dancing, men leering at them).%0D %0D %0D R28 is an idiot who has never been to a straight club where men dance all the time with women. No, they don't go to gay clubs so they can unleash their inner Tony Manero. ROTFLMAO.

by Anonymousreply 44March 27, 2011 7:37 PM

There's no such thing as a "nice" guy!

by Anonymousreply 45March 27, 2011 7:37 PM

[quote]A couple of the straight guys I've met in bars fall into the 'misogynist' camp... they hate women, but they're sexually turned on by them. They hate dealing with them as people, they just want their pussies. I've had more than one say "You are so lucky you don't have to deal with those fucking bitches just to get laid".

No. That kind of guy would just hang out with his buddies at a strip club. You know, the kind of place where women are just meat and not people. They would not go to a gay bar, especially since there are women in that environment oftentimes too.

by Anonymousreply 46March 27, 2011 8:51 PM

I've found that young guys are different these days. They're much cooler with the gay thing. Young gay and straight hipsters all party at the same places.

by Anonymousreply 47March 27, 2011 11:52 PM

The Real World kids always have an episode or two at a gay bar, usually taken there by a gay roommate.%0D %0D Will Dustin/Spencer take the gang to a gay bar, too?

by Anonymousreply 48March 28, 2011 5:46 AM

...

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 49March 28, 2011 5:53 AM

Just like Hugh Jackman

Hugh Jackman used to go to gay clubs - to hit on drunk women.

The 'X-Men' actor says he and his best friend used to frequent the nightspots as teenagers so they could prey on unsuspecting girls.

He said: "I probably shouldn't be saying this, but I remember when I was about 19, me and my friend used to go to these dance parties which were 80 per cent gay guys, 18 per cent girls who were sick of heterosexual guys hitting on them, and then vultures like me and my mate.

We would go there until two in the morning, when the girls were really drunk and wishing they weren't with 80 percent gay guys.

"I'm the worst kind of straight guy. The leech! The vulture!"

by Anonymousreply 50March 28, 2011 6:11 AM

So I recently came out and I'm in college in Boston. I've gone to gay bars a couple of times and straight friends have come along on some occasions and I've seen some other straight friends there. Some of them are probably gay or at least bi, but I know some of them are straight.

It might be different if they were clamoring to go to a gay bar (they aren't) but I go out with them 3 times a week to whatever hell hole they chose and once a month they come out with me to some gay club. One of them always makes sure to bring a girl with him so if somebody else sees him there they won't think he's a fag, but at least three of my friends have come and stayed for a better part of the evening and gone home afterward. One is engaged and one has taken a girl home from at least one gay bar.

It's not that weird. People need to calm the fuck down.

by Anonymousreply 51March 28, 2011 6:15 AM

They are either closeted or have discovered that there are straight women there and go to hook up. But I think r6 nailed it.

by Anonymousreply 52March 28, 2011 6:15 AM

I had a "Straight" boyfriend once who would go with me to gay bars to shoot pool (Better pool tables he used to say). He was one way but loved to be sucked off and loved the great pot that gay men seem to have an endless supply of. I saw him many years later and he told me that he no longer did "That" referring to letting me suck him off. Pity....'cause he was and still is hot looking with an awesome body and dick. I sure do miss him.

by Anonymousreply 53March 28, 2011 6:16 AM

R52, you're as big a moron as R6 is.%0D %0D What the fuck is wrong with you people? Are you all over 50 or something? Have you NO experience with 20 somethings these days?%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 54March 28, 2011 6:23 AM

r54, time will tell won't it?

by Anonymousreply 55March 28, 2011 6:30 AM

I see straight people at gay bars all the time in San Francisco. In fact, 'gay bar' is actually a somewhat antiquated term here. Many bars in the typically gay areas are flooded with all types.%0D %0D And to answer someone's question above, yes, as a gay man I do occasionally go to a strip joint, have a drink and enjoy the kitsch of the scene...but I do tip the dancers.%0D %0D Some of you really need to get your heads out of your asses. We're in a different world than you think.

by Anonymousreply 56March 28, 2011 6:36 AM

Look, no one is saying straight guys don't go to gay bars on occasion. It's the motivation for going. Going with a gay buddy or girlfriend is one thing. Going on your own because you like to dance: suspect.

by Anonymousreply 57March 28, 2011 8:00 AM

I was told that straight guys go to gay bars to hook up with straight women because of the less competition they would otherwise have at a straight bar. Seems a little odd, but to each their own.

by Anonymousreply 58March 28, 2011 8:31 AM

And R57, what I'm implying here is that straight people go to gay bars for the same reason many people go to a bar, hang out with your friends, hear good music, watch a TV show that airs there, see a drag show, watch a sporting game, get wasted, meet up with friends before dinner, etc.%0D %0D The 'motivation' is all in your head.

by Anonymousreply 59March 28, 2011 8:46 AM

Yeah, there are a lot of people here assuming a horrific stigma to entering a gay bar that twenty-somthings just don't feel any more.%0D %0D I go to straight bars all the time. And straight guys I know go to gay bars. Nobody cares that much any more.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 60March 28, 2011 8:57 AM

r50, wow; that makes me think Hugh's gay and is trying to retroactively explain why he was at gay bars when he was 19.%0D

by Anonymousreply 61March 28, 2011 9:09 AM

I have a straight guy friend that would go to straight bars with his best friend and pretend to be together. They would even kiss each other. They were both really hot. The strategy was to pick up two girls who were turned on by guys being together. It worked every time...of course because they were hot.%0D %0D I know I know...some of you will love to decide that these guys are secretly closeted and stuff...but I've known both of them for 15 years each...and they both have wives of their own, and one has kids. They are happy in their relationships. It was just a cheezy/sleazy thing they did to pick up chicks, and it worked. No, they never went past making out with each other.%0D %0D To me, that is as straight as it gets...having no issue with following through with your agenda to get pussy so much that you're willing to play gay. Closet cases wouldn't ever go there, that's for sure.

by Anonymousreply 62March 28, 2011 9:20 AM

Paul Schrader, screenwriter of 'Taxi Driver' (and many other films, some of which he directed too) mostly hung out in gay bars when he was younger. He went there for the drugs, the music, the dancing and the amazing scene - but definitely not for sex (he's as straight as an arrow). The simple fact is there is rarely any violence in a gay bar and for a hassle-free night it's hard to beat. Obviously he was tolerant of unsought advances/fondling by aggressive or desperate queens but, then, that's no different for anyone.

Why wouldn't a confident, straight man enjoy himself? Not everyone is there for sex ALL of the time.

by Anonymousreply 63March 28, 2011 10:09 AM

The knee-jerk responses that pepper this thread speak of some kind of pathology. Yes, we know that straight men sometimes visit gay bars - duh. We are discussing whether or not they go alone, or in groups of entirely straight men.

by Anonymousreply 64March 28, 2011 10:45 AM

I have lol'd all the way through this thread! In college I went to a particular gaybar at least once a month for three years with my straight friends. Being a youth nowadays is obviosuly very different! %0D %0D One guy in particular who I will forever have fond memories of - I was good friends with his sister (who also would come along)- he was a ladies man for sure but loved attention in all it's forms. He could have been bi but I never knew of any rumors, and hanging around with a group of mostly straight chicks and gay guys, you'd think I would have if he did swing that way. %0D We had deep, pilled up conversations about sexuality and he was very sure of his...%0D %0D Another friend I used to party with in gay bars was the same- exibitionost to an almost dangerous extreme he enjoyed dancing, shirtless and being VERY drunk. He is now married to a chinese girl, lives in Thailand and supervises midget fights, in a boxing ring in the middle of a tourist bar. No, really. %0D

by Anonymousreply 65March 28, 2011 2:02 PM

Yes but R64 alot of posters in this thread are insinuating that you must be at least bi to go to a gay bar, which is ludicrous and shows how many DLers are washed up old queens who haven't left Mother's basement in 20 years..

by Anonymousreply 66March 28, 2011 2:04 PM

they go for the easy access to drugs

by Anonymousreply 67March 28, 2011 2:08 PM

WHY DO YOU FUCKING FAGS FEEL IT NECESSARY OT LABEL EVERYONE? WHY ARE YOU EMULATING THE HETERO WORLD IN TERMS OF THIS? JUST ENJOY LIFE AND TAKE THINGS FOR WHAT IT IS... IF A STRAIGHT GUY IS IN A FUCKING GAY BAR WHY MUST YOU QUESTION HIS SEXUALITY? JUST BUY HIM A FUCKING DRINK AND SHOW HIM HOW FUN AND UNRESTRICTED A GAY BAR CAN BE

by Anonymousreply 68March 28, 2011 2:52 PM

[quote]The simple fact is there is rarely any violence in a gay bar and for a hassle-free night it's hard to beat.%0D %0D Go to a bar that has a pool table where lesbians play pool. It won't be violence free.

by Anonymousreply 69March 28, 2011 2:54 PM

r68 has a tiny little anger problem, doesn't she? Oh, dear.

by Anonymousreply 70March 28, 2011 3:01 PM

The anger is a self acceptance thing.

by Anonymousreply 71March 28, 2011 3:40 PM

Tell me bout it

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 72March 28, 2011 3:52 PM

OP, I think your friends are straight. I still go to gay bars simply for the horizontal samba and several other similar dances that are done best in gay bars. Sometimes I get a little carried away in showing good sportsmanship and I slip a gay guy who's an exceptionally good dancer a little dick or share a hot ass moment in payment for having been twirled around the right way, if you know what I mean.

It's all good and most of the stains wash out and I'm in the end one comes to appreciate that virginity is for girls anyway.

by Anonymousreply 73March 28, 2011 4:20 PM

R62. Why would a hot straight guy need to kiss another guy to pick up a girl ? Does not make any sense...

by Anonymousreply 74March 28, 2011 7:40 PM

R74, it's a trick to get interest from girls who want to bag the hot gay guy. Duh.

by Anonymousreply 75March 28, 2011 7:56 PM

Straight guys don't kiss other guys to get girls...sorry.

Are you a Frau who is trying to reconcile her boyfriends (future boyfriends) "in question" past? You sound like it.

by Anonymousreply 76March 28, 2011 9:06 PM

nope, R76. you are wrong on both counts.%0D %0D so, so, sorry for you and your very unhip ignorance. tah-tah!

by Anonymousreply 77March 28, 2011 9:10 PM

[quote]it's a trick to get interest from girls who want to bag the hot gay guy.

Ooh, how devious. Too bad straight women are turned off by gay behavior among men.

by Anonymousreply 78March 28, 2011 11:08 PM

R78, you're getting tiresome dear.%0D %0D I've stated multiple times that the plan WORKED EVERY TIME. They got more pussy than they could handle.

by Anonymousreply 79March 28, 2011 11:13 PM

R68, you forgot to add and FOR CHRIST SAKE PLEASE YELL AT HIM ALL NIGHT!!

by Anonymousreply 80March 28, 2011 11:14 PM

A straight friend used to tag along with us to various gay bars in college.

He inevitably scored at least a blow job from some gal out for a night of fun with her gay friends.

He scored more often than the rest of us.

Of course we would egg the girls on and tell them (truthfully) that he had a big dick.

by Anonymousreply 81March 28, 2011 11:15 PM

You may be sorry, r77, but you're obviously unaware of the actions of young people in the 21st century.

by Anonymousreply 82March 28, 2011 11:17 PM

could you be more vague, R82? as if. you're retarded.

by Anonymousreply 83March 28, 2011 11:22 PM

He may be gay and not ready to admit it to himself yet, but when closeted guys go to gay bars, they go to get laid, not to dance.

by Anonymousreply 84March 28, 2011 11:24 PM

Gay bars are full of 100% heterosexual male figure skaters just there to dance.

by Anonymousreply 85March 28, 2011 11:45 PM

R78

Obviously you've never read much slash fiction, straight women cream their panties over stories about boys getting off on each other (example: like the gay and straight boys on Glee). Google it.

by Anonymousreply 86March 29, 2011 12:37 AM

Seriously, how do you get to be as stupic and clueless as R78? How dumb do you have to be to assert such a blatently and obviously false statement as if it were true, and act all smug like you actually have any clue what you're talking about?%0D %0D Good god, R78, you're embarassing yourself.%0D

by Anonymousreply 87March 29, 2011 12:41 AM

When I was in college there was a gay club that had "straight night" every Wednesday. It was popular with the college kids.

by Anonymousreply 88March 29, 2011 12:55 AM

OP, have you ever come outright and asked them why they're going to a gay bar if they're straight? I'd be curious to hear their response. Do they seem like the kind who like attention? I used to work with a straight guy that knew I thought he was hot, and he really loved playing off that for attention.

by Anonymousreply 89March 29, 2011 12:56 AM

My impression of these guys is some are in denial, some are just narcissists (love the attention).

by Anonymousreply 90March 29, 2011 1:52 AM

College students go to a nearby gay bar because the drinks cost less and they like the music better than at the straight bars.

by Anonymousreply 91March 29, 2011 2:18 AM

Isn't there also some kind of hip cachet for straights to go to a gay club -- better music, better dressed, more cutting edge?

by Anonymousreply 92March 29, 2011 2:30 AM

A guy coming home and walking in on his girlfriend doing it with another girl is hot to him.

A girl coming home and walking in on her boyfriend doing it with another guy is an instant end to the relationship.

Guys are into girl on girl. Girls are not into boy on boy regardless of how many times the same poster insists otherwise. It is simply not true.

by Anonymousreply 93March 29, 2011 2:44 AM

While your conclusion may be correct, r93, your example is flawed because it only proves that a girl does not want her boyfirend cheating on her.%0D %0D If instead she had walked in on him fucking a girl, it would also bring an end to the relationship, but not because she is turned off by heterosexuality.%0D %0D If the same girl walked in on her gay best friend fucking another guy, I don't know if it would turn her on, but I doubt it would end the friendship.

by Anonymousreply 94March 29, 2011 2:52 AM

I think walking in on their partner doing it with someone else (or either gender) would be a deal breaker (or as close to a deal breaker as possible) for most women.

Fantasy, however, is a different animal.

A completely unscientific tally of my straight female friends would lead me to believe that about 30% of straight women are curious about sex with women (with about half of that number having experimented), and about 20% of straight women are curious about watching guy-on-guy action (with a percent of that population being avowed devotees.)

It's hardly surprising that male-centric lesbian porn (and the girls gone wild culture it spawned) bares little to no resemblance to the way lesbians actually behave, but it's also funny that a lot of the female-centric gay erotica that exists is essentially Twilight with more fucking and no pesky Bella, and bares little resemblance to the way gay men actually behave.

by Anonymousreply 95March 29, 2011 3:11 AM

Who are these gay men and why do they keep sucking my dick?

by Anonymousreply 96March 29, 2011 3:18 AM

[quote]Too bad straight women are turned off by gay behavior among men.

You are very, very wrong, R78.

PLENTY of women are attracted to gay and bi guys, and love watching and thinking about gay sex.

Remember how many female Ponies were here? Probably 99% of them were into gay porn, and most surely had friends who were, too. And that's just one fandom out of thousands, and that's just the chicks who came to the DL.

by Anonymousreply 97March 29, 2011 3:34 AM

Women into slash & gay porn are either too young to realize the futility of lusting after bi or gay men or they are fat & can't get a straight guy so they like to watch & dream up scenarios involving hot guys they can never have.

by Anonymousreply 98March 29, 2011 3:59 AM

More "facts" pulled out of one's own ass.

by Anonymousreply 99March 29, 2011 4:10 AM

But unlike those deluded straight women, you're actually knee deep in 20-year-old frat boys who are straight but totally into messing around with dudes (after a bit of arm twisting)?

And unlike those pathetic women, every straight man in America is enjoying regular threeways with nympho cheerleaders who love anal?

Does everybody have to only watch porn that mirrors their sexual reality, or are only women to be chastised for daring to be turned on by something that's never going to actually happen for them.

by Anonymousreply 100March 29, 2011 4:15 AM

I wrote male on male erotica for awhile with a group and out of 15 of us, I was the only gay man. The rest were straight women.

by Anonymousreply 101March 29, 2011 4:58 AM

bump

by Anonymousreply 102March 29, 2011 5:37 AM

R93, Not true. I'm a woman, and if I walked in on my boyfriend fucking a guy, I'd want to join in or at least watch. Provided the other guy is hot and down for some fun, too, of course. If he was banging some ugly, prissy twink, I'd break it off with him because he has no standards.

That's the deal with the whole man digging his wife/girlfriend liking chicks, too, thing. They have to both be hot swinger chicks. Otherwise, if she was banging some butch, man-hating bulldyke, the husband would probably be pissed, too.

by Anonymousreply 103March 29, 2011 6:34 AM

Bullshit.

by Anonymousreply 104March 29, 2011 6:54 AM

R103 If your boyfriend is having sex with guys behind your back he wouldn't want you joining in.

by Anonymousreply 105March 29, 2011 7:00 AM

r101 where?

by Anonymousreply 106March 29, 2011 7:09 AM

[quote]Women into slash & gay porn...are fat & can't get a straight guy so they like to watch & dream up scenarios involving hot guys they can never have.%0D %0D %0D So, lemme get this straight, R98. Virtually ALL gay men love porn and "like to watch and dream up scenrios involving hot guys they can never have" so does that mean all gay men are fat?%0D %0D Thanks for clearing that up for us Shamu.

by Anonymousreply 107March 29, 2011 8:36 AM

[quote]Virtually ALL gay men love porn and "like to watch and dream up scenrios involving hot guys they can never have" so does that mean that all gay men are fat?

R107 that argument is redundant & you know it.

by Anonymousreply 108March 29, 2011 9:46 AM

Uh, what R108?

by Anonymousreply 109March 29, 2011 9:56 AM

"I've literally seen a guy and a girl fucking at a gay club before."

Doesn't mean the guy's straight. Just sayin'.

by Anonymousreply 110March 29, 2011 10:47 AM

R110, I did say that he could've been bi.

by Anonymousreply 111March 29, 2011 4:31 PM

R89, yeah a lot of straight guys are like that.%0D %0D The issue on this thread is, some people seem to think that ALL straight guys who like attention MUST be gay. It's just not true.

by Anonymousreply 112March 29, 2011 7:13 PM

R112 I know what you mean. Some of them just really get off on knowing that people find them attractive. It's not that they always have the interest of getting with someone of their own sex.

by Anonymousreply 113March 29, 2011 7:19 PM

[quote][R101] where?

Nifty.org

by Anonymousreply 114March 29, 2011 7:35 PM

R113, Exactly. Female strippers don't find the ugly, old, desperate men who throw money at them attractive, but they do like the attention they receive. It works the same way.

by Anonymousreply 115March 29, 2011 8:09 PM

>Women into slash & gay porn...are fat & can't get a straight guy so they like to watch & dream up scenarios involving hot guys they can never have.

It's just they haven't had any overrated het sex in a while, so their vags are dusty, that's why.

by Anonymousreply 116March 29, 2011 8:58 PM

personally, i know tons of straight dudes that do dance at gay bars. it's either because their friends are gay or they want to pick up girls, usually. some just really like the music and like to dance. is this small town or big city? in a small town with limited clubs n such, i'm thinking it's much more likely. if this is big city, with tons of clubs, and they're all dudes, and there aren't that many chicks there, then i'm thinking they're gay.

by Anonymousreply 117November 17, 2012 4:20 PM

1. they could be curious

2. I know plenty of open minded st8 guys that go to meet fag hags.

and there you have it!

by Anonymousreply 118November 17, 2012 5:14 PM

Sexuality is much more fluid nowadays. Guys don't have such structured, black and white views anymore about what is acceptable and what isn't. Young straight guys who are secure in their sexuality wouldn't have a problem going to gay bars if they like the music, like the atmosphere or whatever. Gay clubs are often the best clubs in town. And bi-curious guys would probably get off on the attention, even if they don't act on it.

by Anonymousreply 119November 17, 2012 6:04 PM

Different bars have different vibes. I guess you could say that I hang out more at straight bars now.

At present, I am really into microbrews, craft beers, and brewpubs. I also prefer acoustic music to dance/trance. I am more apt to go out to beer bars. This does not mean that I am straight or bi. Nor am I trying to pick up guys at the beer bars. I just like the company, the laid-back attitude, and the libations.

Last night I had a great Evolution ale aged in wine barrels (9% abv). If they served craft beers in any of the gay bars in my town, I would be there.

by Anonymousreply 120November 17, 2012 6:25 PM

My straight male bod infrequently go to the mixed gay bars with me in solidarity with my bisexual identity. Sometimes they dance with chicks, others time they dance with me, in a dude way.

by Anonymousreply 121November 17, 2012 6:30 PM

[quote]is this small town or big city?

r117, are you really expecting a reply from the OP of a thread that has been dead for a year and a half? I'm pretty sure OP has long forgotten he even started this ancient thread.

by Anonymousreply 122November 17, 2012 6:32 PM

hi my name is Anthony Pereira Anthony Pereira iike men make love with Anthony and kiss with Anthony Pereira sent me a note plsese I love you Anthony

by Anonymousreply 123August 28, 2014 10:14 PM

The gay bar in the next town has become a hangout for drag queens. Ugh!

by Anonymousreply 124August 31, 2014 2:57 PM

I remember a hot straight guy who used to hang out with his gay buddies and play pool during happy hour at a local gay bar.

It was so frustrating, I really must admit.

by Anonymousreply 125August 31, 2014 3:00 PM

If they're in a gay bar they are not straight.

by Anonymousreply 126August 31, 2014 4:11 PM

Okay, but how many gay men have gone into a straight bar, hello..............

by Anonymousreply 127August 31, 2014 4:25 PM

There was a straight guy who loved coming to the bar where I worked. Because he could meet his mistress there; his wife never would have thought of looking for him in a gay bar.

by Anonymousreply 128August 31, 2014 4:27 PM

[quote]If they're in a gay bar they are not straight.

Wrong! College guys on a budget often go into gay bars because the drinks are almost always lower in price.

by Anonymousreply 129August 31, 2014 4:30 PM

I had a bunch of straight guy friends who went out dancing with a group of us, gay straight whatever, about ten years ago when I still did that sort of thing. This is in NYC. They loved Madonna SO MUCH, way more than I ever did, it always made me wonder, but they always had females they were fucking. None of us ever heard otherwise and we were a gossipy group

by Anonymousreply 130August 31, 2014 4:31 PM

My straight bros go out with me

by Anonymousreply 131January 15, 2016 2:33 PM

I'm glad times have changed since I went to the gay bars (yes, I'm an eldergay). Back in the 1980s and 1990s it was a death knell to gay bars in PA and NJ if they started letting straight men in. They would harass the gays and start fights in the parking lot, which was often done to impress the straight women who were there. The gays would stop coming, and the bars would eventually have to close for lack of business.

by Anonymousreply 132January 15, 2016 3:02 PM

[quote]Wrong! College guys on a budget often go into gay bars because the drinks are almost always lower in price.

and the bartenders are nice to them, seriously. I've seen it. then one of them gets too drunk and says something stupid like, "I'm never putting anything up MY asshole, you guys can, but that shit is sick!"

by Anonymousreply 133January 15, 2016 3:11 PM

Hmmm

by Anonymousreply 134May 2, 2016 10:54 AM

Good times!

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by Anonymousreply 135April 8, 2021 11:14 PM

Non cocksuckers stay home! Can have a period? Stay home too!

by Anonymousreply 136April 8, 2021 11:22 PM

Straight guys don't "go dancing" - not even at straight bars. He's gay.

by Anonymousreply 137April 8, 2021 11:23 PM

This thread was started TEN years ago. Stop bumping up this old crap.

by Anonymousreply 138April 8, 2021 11:41 PM

Bitd i loved going to Backstreet Atlanta. Because it was a 24 hour gay bar open after most places had closed it was a very mixed crowd. Lots of straight boys in the house with their female friends. For me the dick getting was very good.

by Anonymousreply 139April 8, 2021 11:42 PM

Does ATL have mixed bars?

by Anonymousreply 140April 8, 2021 11:44 PM

[quote]I'm seriously out of touch and have no idea what the 20 somethings are doing to be cool these days.

I guess adding a decade to their life?

by Anonymousreply 141April 9, 2021 1:36 AM

[quote] I'm seriously out of touch and have no idea what the 20 somethings are doing to be cool these days.

The 20 somethings are now 30 somethings, some near 40, given that this thread is a decade old and OP is probably scattered in the Dead Sea.

by Anonymousreply 142April 9, 2021 1:47 AM

I was 42 when this thread was made and now I’m 32.

by Anonymousreply 143April 9, 2021 1:49 AM

Wow

by Anonymousreply 144April 9, 2021 1:55 AM

When I was a gayling, back in the mid-80s, I shared an apartment in Cambridge with two very hot - and evidently straight - brothers. One night they took me to Campus/Man Ray because (they said) they enjoyed the drag queens commenting on the strippers. On that occasion, which my first-ever time at a gay bar, we all danced together.

A month or two later, I think one of them came on to me, but I was too clueless to realize it. Alas. I have no reason to believe the other brother was anything but 100% hetero though.

So anyway, str8 guys going to gay bars is neither new, nor a big deal.

by Anonymousreply 145April 9, 2021 2:11 AM

Wooohoooo

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by Anonymousreply 146August 20, 2021 2:51 PM

They want mouthy and wifey won’t give it. They know we have the skills in that arena, even if it’s not their preference.

by Anonymousreply 147August 20, 2021 2:57 PM

I think we’ve been hit again by the straight guy fetish queen. Never in my life have I seen groups of straight men dancing gay clubs or bars. Straight women, yes. The only time I know of straight men in gay bars is the occasional guy who has a drink with a gay friend, and that’s pretty rare too. And I’ve been in bars and clubs since the mid 70s.

by Anonymousreply 148August 20, 2021 3:02 PM

R148, perhaps you aren’t hanging with the right crowds

by Anonymousreply 149August 20, 2021 3:06 PM

There was a time when gay bars and clubs had THE best music. Its where a lot of the big hits were dropped in the 80s and 90s. My straight guy friends loved going to gay bars/clubs for this reason and also because there were no fights, which happened a lot in straight clubs. Granted this was in NYC when NYC was on fire with places like Sound Factory and The Roxy - clubs that transcended their category at the time, so sublime were they. And my friends were super-hip straight guys to begin with.

But anyway. There you have it. From my experience, there were always a smattering of truly het dudes in gay spaces.

by Anonymousreply 150August 20, 2021 3:08 PM

I took a few straight friends to gay bars. They always react the same way. "I have never been hit on so much before." They are amazed we can hook up and walk away with no strings (okay not always lol). Some of them cannot handle an aggressive male so I usually buffered.

by Anonymousreply 151August 20, 2021 3:31 PM

I don’t like aggressive males either. What kind of creep keeps hitting on you after the person shows no mutual interest?

by Anonymousreply 152August 20, 2021 4:45 PM

What we've really been hit by, R148, is Bump Bitches.

The most recent Bump Bitches are at R146 and R147. However, the thread was bumped earlier in the year at R135.

by Anonymousreply 153August 20, 2021 5:14 PM

BREAKING : There are no more straight guys or gay bars.

by Anonymousreply 154August 20, 2021 5:43 PM

Can someone explain why he/she/they are distressed in the extreme when someone bumps a thread?

Don't care in general but curious about why it's a passionate thing for some.

I remember being chastised for starting a thread when the prior one was three years old, so this is the root of my curiosity.

by Anonymousreply 155August 20, 2021 5:45 PM

Luv me them Gay Bars!

by Anonymousreply 156August 20, 2021 5:46 PM

Some of you sound like you're posting from 1990. Seriously. Most of the people frequenting gay bars right now weren't even born then.

Younger millennial and especially gen Z usually have zero hangups about gay people, places, or "vibes." Some actually prefer "queer spaces" even if they don't identify that way. Very few identify as "straight," either, even if they are exclusively attracted to the opposite sex. Many are "fluid" or avoid labels. A lot are probably bisexual to one degree or another at their core, just like every other generation.

At any rate, very few non-gay men under 30 would think twice about going to a gay bar, discovering that they're already in one, or feeling welcome to come back again. They just don't care and see no problem with being around gay people, being included with them, or being mistaken for one.

by Anonymousreply 157August 20, 2021 5:56 PM

R157 A good 70 percent of the posters here are over 50, still write checks at the grocery store, and are still in mourning that the Golden Girls isn't making new episodes.

None of them would be able to understand demographic or generational changes like that. They're still looking for the bars that will play Vogue and Rhythm Nation for them, and are shocked when they go, wondering why beer isn't $3 a draft any more.

by Anonymousreply 158August 20, 2021 6:15 PM

R20 Oh my, as a lady of high standard, I must insist on a splash zone be instituted at such establishment. Think of the children!

by Anonymousreply 159August 20, 2021 6:34 PM

R20 If the straight guy was hot and we got to see his dick, I'd watch.

by Anonymousreply 160August 20, 2021 6:55 PM

I have not been to a gay bar in years. I met my husband at a Latino night in a straight bar. And my local straight bar hangout is filled with gay people - everyone knows and no one cares. We all just do our thing and no one pretends to be something they are not. Just as it should be!

by Anonymousreply 161August 20, 2021 7:10 PM

I knew a gorgeous straight man who went to gay bars with his straight friends. He loved the attention.

He was among the most stunning men I've ever seen in my life. Then he got married and started growing a belly. Yup, proof that he's straight.

by Anonymousreply 162August 20, 2021 7:11 PM

Explicitly gay bares are out and nearly extinct. Now, it’s all about mixed bars, pansexual and mostly straight but inclusive environments with hot bros who flirt with you and chicks at the same time

by Anonymousreply 163August 20, 2021 7:40 PM

R18 is way off. Truly straight guys love the ego trip of a gay man expressing attraction to them. They get what ever attention they can.

It's the 'straight' (closeted) men who have issues with such attention, and act out accordingly.

by Anonymousreply 164August 20, 2021 7:42 PM

Sorry, I meant R26 is way off.

by Anonymousreply 165August 20, 2021 7:43 PM

R157, that is very true for urban USA. Very true for the big cities with gay meccas.

But not so true in the Podunk gay bars.

by Anonymousreply 166August 20, 2021 7:51 PM

[quote]Truly straight guys love the ego trip of a gay man expressing attraction to them.

You're describing narcissism, which has nothing to do with gender or sexuality. "Truly" straight men are not all narcissists.

Non-narcissistic straight men can appreciate compliments from gay men as what they are; compliments. But there's no "ego trip," just humble gratitude and genuine respect for the person paying the compliment.

by Anonymousreply 167August 20, 2021 8:24 PM

I was surprised when I visited Germany how being gay had so much less stigma than it did in the US. Straight guys go to gay bar and are excited to go to the Gay Pride Parades.

by Anonymousreply 168August 20, 2021 8:30 PM

In the summer of 1988 I frequented a bar in Bellevue, Washington (where Ann and Nancy Wilson are from) called Damon's. I became friendly with a bartender who told me he'd spent a fair amount of time in Germany (he also told me his dick was seven inches long. With that in mind, we must take what he told me with a grain of salt...). He said some nights a bar would have one type of crowd, and another night an entirely different crowd.

Maybe some straight guys go to gay bars because they're not cruising for women and they don't want to be bothered with the aggro.

by Anonymousreply 169August 20, 2021 8:50 PM

R169 geez gramps, that was so long ago, the baby gay materialised that year is now an eldergay. Update your reference the next tine you wanna do a hot take on the zeitgeist.

by Anonymousreply 170August 21, 2021 7:01 AM

No disrespect, why is someone talking about 1988 here. This topic is about what is going on now, which is vastly different than 1988. Stop fixating on the irrelevant distant past.

by Anonymousreply 171August 21, 2021 2:28 PM

Fat ageist cunts!

by Anonymousreply 172August 21, 2021 2:30 PM

Well, I guess that was a little mean. Sorry, R172. I guess your anecdote can work as a reasonibg thibg too. Come back and play w/ us Zemen.

by Anonymousreply 173August 21, 2021 2:42 PM

2017: Straight men in gay bars approach me

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by Anonymousreply 174August 21, 2021 2:45 PM

If his pants are as tight as a matador’s showing off a juicy bubble butt, he’s wearing clear mascara and the vneck on his tshirt is showing cleavage, he is a ghey!

by Anonymousreply 175August 21, 2021 2:54 PM

So we are moving towards gay bars being entertainment like the zoo. Got it.

by Anonymousreply 176August 21, 2021 2:54 PM

[quote[NEVER admit it.%0D %0D That's really too bad. %0D %0D —I capitalize when I want to make a POINT.

The point being that you're an idiot?

by Anonymousreply 177August 21, 2021 2:55 PM

R176, you’re too sensitive dude

by Anonymousreply 178August 21, 2021 3:00 PM

Le sigh.

I was 26 when this post was first written.

Yes, plenty of straight guys went to gay bars back then.

WITH THEIR GAY FRIENDS.

Or with their girlfriends if it was a dance club.

They did not go as a pack of straight guys to a gay bar because they liked the music.

They might have gone if they knew there were a lot of straight women there and they figured the odds were in their favor as most of the other guys would be uninterested in the women. (There are places that draw a mixed crowd, not 100% gay or straight)

There's even an outside chance that, if the gay bar had really cheap drinks, they'd go there and get "pre-loaded" before they set out to whatever straight bar or club they were headed to. But that meant they'd be in the gay bar for about 20 minutes or so--however long it took them to order and down three or four shots.

But whether you're talking 2011 or 2021, straight guys are not going on their own to gay bars just for the hell of it.

by Anonymousreply 179August 21, 2021 3:15 PM

R171, because DL is overwhelmingly people 50+, and that demographic here correlates strongly with gay men who stopped seeking new experiences or trying anything different since about 1988. It's sad but true. I'm in my fifties and I try to maintain self awareness about what my perspective means to people in their 20s and 30s today. Obviously (to me) my opinions based on things that happened 30+ years ago aren't relevant to them. It would be like an older person in my youth spouting off with their stale observations circa 1946 or 1938.

Self awareness is critical to aging well. Some people really can't grasp it.

by Anonymousreply 180August 23, 2021 4:38 PM

R176, we're actually moving towards the complete irrelevance of gay bars and their ongoing erasure from gentrifying gay neighborhoods, with Covid hastening their decline.

by Anonymousreply 181August 23, 2021 4:40 PM

I had a friend from Junior high school and high school who told me MANY years later that when he was still in high school he went to a gay bar and one of our married high school teachers was there and tried to pick him up!

by Anonymousreply 182August 23, 2021 4:43 PM

My friend’s straight son (mid 20’s) goes to the gay bars in Portland with his friends after hours. The gay bars are open after the straight bars close. He is really cute, and said that he doesn’t mind getting hit on by guys. The younger generation is less uptight.

by Anonymousreply 183August 23, 2021 4:51 PM

Gay bars are an endangered species, both from closing and a diminution of their gayness with integration

by Anonymousreply 184August 23, 2021 5:03 PM

It’s interesting that the mid twentysomethings of 2011 were a totally foreign quantity to DLers back then. And yet they’re in their late thirties now. No one on DL rages about how weird and different late thirtysomethings are.

by Anonymousreply 185August 23, 2021 5:34 PM

DLers are largely over 65 and think Millennials are still under 25

by Anonymousreply 186August 23, 2021 5:49 PM

The oldest Millenial is 40. Under 25 is Gen Z r186

by Anonymousreply 187August 23, 2021 5:59 PM

I will rage, R185. I just had a sex date with one last night. Utterly bizarre.

by Anonymousreply 188August 23, 2021 7:25 PM

A mouth is a mouth. At the very least, the straight guy doesn’t leave a gay club with lipstick all over his cock.

by Anonymousreply 189August 23, 2021 8:03 PM

Bump

by Anonymousreply 190January 24, 2022 6:05 PM

By some definitions, the youngest Millennials are 23.

by Anonymousreply 191January 24, 2022 6:18 PM

Maybe his cock is too big for a woman to take.

by Anonymousreply 192January 24, 2022 6:34 PM

[quote]I wrote male on male erotica for awhile with a group and out of 15 of us, I was the only gay man. The rest were straight women.

I hope yours wasn't as heteronormative, with the less butch of the couple being written as a woman in all respects but plumbing.

I've had friends accompany me to gay clubs with their dates, and heard from college aged guys who went for the cheap drinks. This is the first time I've ever heard of an allegedly straight man going for the dancing, though.

by Anonymousreply 193January 24, 2022 7:57 PM

All the examples talking about the younger generation being more open minded forget the key point (mentioned in a few posts as well), straight men ONLY go to a gay bar with females or gay friends. They do not, and I mean this, go on their own. Especially, to dance. Two straight guys going to gay bars on their own are likely.a bit bi and probably into each other.

by Anonymousreply 194January 25, 2022 4:40 AM

“Likely” means “probably,” over a 50% chance. It doesn’t mean there aren’t exceptions to the rule, and in aggregate, there are likely hundreds of thousands of exceptions to this rule in the world. That means, that unless you intimately know the person, you can’t definitively make conclusions about individuals. Some of you treat “most people” as if there aren’t exceptions, which is lazy.

by Anonymousreply 195January 25, 2022 2:08 PM

The problem with DL is that people here love to make broad, sweeping generalizations. Not a wise trait

by Anonymousreply 196January 25, 2022 2:09 PM

Frustrating

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by Anonymousreply 197April 10, 2022 2:38 AM

It really does depend on the type of bar, the area, etc.

I am old school but even when I first came out in the early 90s bars that were big dance clubs were straight friendly. I remember straight guys coming to some of the larger clubs I knew in Cleveland and Pittsburgh and later, Berlin in Chicago, which had a very different vibe.

As someone said above, the DL loves its black or white absolutism and sweeping generalizations, but no, every straight man at the gay bar is not looking for cock. As long as they weren't playing Let's Point And Laugh At The Queens, they were welcome to shake their ass right next to me, as long as I could come to their regular club the next week, throw on my Doc Martens and jump around to Front 242.

by Anonymousreply 198April 10, 2022 2:47 AM

OP- How about Straight ACTING guys at the Gay Bar

by Anonymousreply 199April 10, 2022 3:48 AM

Nice butt bro

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by Anonymousreply 200April 10, 2022 12:16 PM

I love hot straight dudes at gay bars

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by Anonymousreply 201July 24, 2022 12:58 PM

Gay friendly straight boys

by Anonymousreply 202July 24, 2022 1:02 PM

Gay friendly straight guy won't go to a gay bar to dance with other guys. There is something called been closeted.

by Anonymousreply 203July 24, 2022 1:04 PM

I had a straight friend when I was younger (I’m in my fifties) who had no difficulty going to gay venues and dancing with anyone. He liked the music and the atmosphere. He was also quite relaxed if anyone tried to come on to him, and would politely decline.

by Anonymousreply 204July 24, 2022 1:07 PM

R203, my straight bros will dance with dudes situationally, including me. I’ve seen many other straight dudes do the same. It’s not 1989 anymore

by Anonymousreply 205July 24, 2022 1:09 PM

Hmmm. Are you sure your so called straight friend is actually straight. The fact that he prefers gay bars not straight bars and clubs makes me side eye your friend. R205 down low men do exist.

by Anonymousreply 206July 24, 2022 1:11 PM

R205 is clueless.

by Anonymousreply 207July 24, 2022 1:13 PM

Correction: R206 is clueless, not r205

by Anonymousreply 208July 24, 2022 1:13 PM

R208 you on the other hand is naive

by Anonymousreply 209July 24, 2022 1:26 PM

I is?

by Anonymousreply 210July 24, 2022 1:28 PM

R198 I agree with your assessment. My experience (in the US) has been that this co-mingling happens in very specific scenarios:

1) Summer towns (like Ogunquit) that have limited options for dance music, so everyone goes to the same clubs/bars

2) Gay and straight friends who are college students who may all pile into a car and drive to the nearest city for a club with dance music…and that club will often be gay

3) A designated gay night at a larger bar/club in a larger city, because those nights have the reputation of having better DJs, better music, cooler people

by Anonymousreply 211July 24, 2022 1:43 PM

I've known a few straight men who would go to gay bars to pick up women - there's a lot less competition. It's more of a 90s/early 2000s thing though.

It's kind of annoying to be honest. There's nothing worse than finding every passably attractive man in the place is actually straight.

by Anonymousreply 212July 24, 2022 3:28 PM

And nowadays, you can’t even grope the merchandise to test the waters

by Anonymousreply 213July 24, 2022 4:24 PM

R212, I welcome straight dudes to gay bars. However, I confess being sad that almost all the hot dudes at the gay bars here identify S straight as nongay. Even in a gay space, the really hot ones end up being nongay

by Anonymousreply 214July 24, 2022 4:35 PM

Brotalk

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by Anonymousreply 215July 24, 2022 10:05 PM

Boystown

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by Anonymousreply 216July 26, 2022 4:13 PM

Younger straight men aren't nearly as homophobic as previous generations. Also so many attractive straight men get off on being admired and objectified. They work hard on their bodies. Straight women are more demure and less likely to approach a strange guy who's goodlooking. Gay men on social media and mostly gay environments are more likely to compliment and hit on a hot guy and even give him money and gifts.

by Anonymousreply 217July 26, 2022 4:21 PM

True

by Anonymousreply 218July 26, 2022 4:41 PM

A tale

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by Anonymousreply 219July 29, 2022 3:13 PM

They wont anymore because of monkey pox.

by Anonymousreply 220July 29, 2022 3:14 PM

Thread from 2011 !!

by Anonymousreply 221July 29, 2022 3:18 PM

I actually knew a guy who was often depressed and had very low self-esteem, and he would do it just because he knew if he went in there he would keep getting hit on and it made him feel better about himself. He was also cheap so I'm sure he liked the free drinks, as well.

I don't think he was gay or bi, we never did anything. But, I wouldn't swear he was straight either. He wasn't bad looking, he was like an average version of Zach Morris with the personality of Eeyore.

by Anonymousreply 222July 29, 2022 3:21 PM

there are many cultures where men would be read as gay by the regressive rhomophobic eyes of the west

by Anonymousreply 223July 29, 2022 3:23 PM

Realization

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by Anonymousreply 224August 13, 2022 3:19 PM

Fake^.

by Anonymousreply 225August 13, 2022 3:25 PM

Just what I was going to say, R221. Very old thread.

Lesbians are obsessed with men, R10? That doesn't make any sense.

I've heard some straight men hang out on DL, though they're as rare and hard to find as the abominable snowman.

by Anonymousreply 226August 13, 2022 3:30 PM

Huh 🤔

by Anonymousreply 227August 13, 2022 10:40 PM

Beach

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by Anonymousreply 228August 16, 2022 4:14 PM

anyone who says there is more money dancing for men is a fucking liar.

I did some gigs about 15 years ago. Gay events, every guy who gave you a buck expected a grope. Most of the men were hustlers.

Straight party 20 buck tips, not singles and few woman groped my cock.

by Anonymousreply 229August 16, 2022 4:25 PM

Lots of Straight today on a gay forum.

by Anonymousreply 230August 16, 2022 4:38 PM

Cool man

by Anonymousreply 231August 16, 2022 5:09 PM

The delusion in this thread would be hilarious if it wasn’t so sad.

by Anonymousreply 232August 16, 2022 5:32 PM
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