All my life I''ve been overly sensitive. I''ve always admired people who seem to feel nothing. Is there anyway I can train myself to feel little or even nothing? It would make my day to day life so much easier. if not are there any drugs you can recommend to numb me?
[quote]All my life I''ve been overly sensitive.\
[quote]I''ve always admired people who seem to feel nothing.\
I''ve always had disdain for them.
Any opiate, probably any painkiller.%0D\
SSRIs and maybe other types of antidepressants.%0D\
Also, experience helps.
This reminds me of all the self-help books that say things like "You''ve got to let go of your anger," without giving you a clue in hell of how exactly you''re supposed to go about doing that.
go the fuck away, anger NOW
Vicoden helps with this problem.
Not being self-focused helps. Have you tried thinking about other people?
I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion. \
But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.
P. Bateman, Esq.
I''m very sensitive and I don''t want to kill my emotions, I want them to come out. I can''t express them.
[quote]Not being self-focused helps. Have you tried thinking about other people?\
[quote] I''ve always admired people who seem to feel nothing.\
My sister is one of those people who seem to feel nothing for others. If I or someone else is hurt by something she will always have the reaction, "Well, what about me. I feel..." \
Still she thinks she''s a great listener.\
But the thing that kills me is everybody LOVES her.\
I''ve always wondered the same thing R4.
I think anger is underrated. It can be great fuel if you channel it into ambition. \
I think niceness and forgiveness are overrated. Civility and composure are where it''s at.
OP, why would you respect cold people? They''re shallow.
OP one of the other posters here had it right believe it or not - show me a sensitive person and I''ll show you a self focused individual who is so easy to hurt because they make everything about themselves - most likely your not selfish or self absorbed, just focused. I was you - I got into therapy thinking it would bring to light why I keep choosing friends and lovers to hurt and disappoint me, when in fact it wasn''t them, it was me. Two books that I hope you can still get made a difference for me - The Dance of Anger and the Dance of Intimacy -
OP, I think most gay people, male and female tend to be overly sensitive. It's because of what we had to go through to become self aware enough to know who we are. That said, there are some things that have helped me to not be so sensitive. One is to train yourself to recognize that not everything is a reflection of you. By that I don't mean you are selfish or narcissistic but that I think we tend to over empathize with others. It helps if someone is being a bully or is saying something hurtful to not take it personally. I know that's hard to do, but the truth is we don't know what is in anyone else's head or why they are reacting the way they are. Everyone has their own little dramas going on in their heads and it may not have anything at all to do with you.
If you can learn to not take anything personally anymore, even when it seems to be pointedly about you, you will not suffer as much. You need to not listen so much to that little voice in your head that is telling you it's hurt or it's being attacked. Take a moment to just break up those thoughts and you will see how much we hurt ourselves by writing the story that is nothing near the real story.
Hide your feelings by LASHING OUT at others!
Anger, sadness, and any other ''negative'' emotions are perfectly healthy so long as you learn to transmute them. Repressing won''t do you any good.
"only an entity, something illusory"%0D\
Ah, more proof that Bret Easton Ellis was a poor writer...
Klonpin does a good job of it for me.
If only there were something between too much and nothing.
R16, the problem is that I can''t transmute them, I ruminate on them and they eat away at me every day.
Pantera, Benadryl and Ayn Rand books.
Big study showed that people can rewire their nerves to prevent things like PTSD and overblown emotions.\
The magic pill hasn''t got a lot of attention because it''s so old it''s generic available, plus it''s good for your heart and blood pressure.\
I feel very little for humans, but intensely for animals. Makes it easy to deal with daily life among people because I really don''t care deeply about them. But that doesn''t mean I have no emotions, I fall to pieces around all the other critters.
r23, does Inderal/Propranolol wear well with vodka?
My ex boyfriend can''t express emotions. Even when he heard about the death of an old family friend he was stoic.
R24, hopefully a rhinoceros will eat you.
The normal people
I don''t understand the question.\
People who care for animals over humans are emotionally immature.
I hope r24 is single.
OP. SSRIs. That is all.
What Would Spock Do?
There are a lot of people like R24, and I''m okay with that.
Animals are helpless and voiceless, People aren''t usually totally helpless.
My very first day of vet school my professor blasted people like r24.
R27, the rhinoceros is an herbivore (i.e., a vegetarian).
An SSRI. Celexa made me not care about much. Grandma died? Pffft. You lost your job? That''s too bad, but this coffee tastes really good. I have cancer? Oh, dear. \
That was pretty much how Celexa made me feel. Minus the cancer. I didn''t have that.
Is a bear helpless and voiceless? Is a pitbull? Most animals would just as soon rip your throat out. %0D\
Animal lovers are looking for unconditional love that they can''t get from humans. There is no such thing as unconditional love, but they are too immature to realize that.
Doesn''t matter, R37. I still want one to get R24.
How to kill your emotions? Become an observer in your head, make mental notes as if all internal/external input/output were an extensive scientific experiment.
I have it down to a science
Thank you r41.
Wow, OP hit EXACTLY on why I believe being gay is a CHOICE. That gays get so ANGRY at this concept should tell you something; obviously it strikes a nerve. That I get called homoPHOBIC over this is laughable. I've just seen this too often, through my friends who turned out gay, and it's how I finetune my extremely accurate GAYDAR.%0D
Gays are not overly sensitive becuase of what they go through; they go through what they go through, and are gay, because they are not just overly sensitive, but EXTREMELY SELFISH, with a sense of sexual entitlement, coupled with sex-addiction (so they can't shut off the problem), and, if closeted, PREDATORY ("under the radar" ring a bell?). They exude a level of weakness and ignorance of what beautiful women think and feel, which causes the women to reject them. Since they are overly emotional and sensitive, as well as sex-addicted, they turn to men to satisfy both these urges. Once they do this, they become SAFE for women, who "love" gay men not becuase of how they act, but because they know the guy won't be hitting on them, just as with an Emo "male friend."%0D
To say they are "born gay" is inaccurate; we are BIOLOGICALLY PROGRAMMED to be heterosexual, or we wouldn't exist as a species. However, gays are born overly sensitive, uber-emo, sex-addicted, and with a childish sensee of entitlement, all of which make it all but inevitable that they will turn homosexual. %0D
As for how to kill your emotions: GROW THE FUCK UP. %0D
A real man, not some whiny little faggot
That could be true, R29 -- my mother resented her kids, so not much early bonding.\
I am single, R30 -- didn''t used to be, but so much happier now.\
I''ve dealt with a lot of vets, R36, & am grateful for those who can be compassionate toward people when we need it.
[quote]Is a bear helpless and voiceless? Is a pitbull?%0D\
Against humans, they are. Guns and trackers and nightvision goggles for bears and Micheal Vick and his cohorts for pitbulls.%0D\
And the only bears I know who can talk are Yogi and Smokey.
Oh, and do fuck off with your smug assessments
R43 is about as insane as they come.
On another note, women are more likely to be gay than men because of how they view sex.%0D\
To a man, great sex is great sex. He doesn''t have to even like his partner. To a woman, great sex is "sex with a great person," which is completely different. %0D\
Since women devalue sex relative to men, and place a premium on emotional connections far more than even the most emo men do, it is much easier for them to transfer their sexual "desire" to women, just as they might pretend briefly to like a trick if they turn one, and be able to fuck him. Note the differnece in male and female prostitutes: it is far easier to get a perfect 10 hooker if you are male seeking a female, than the other way around. %0D\
As for who values sex more: which gender SELLS it more easily?%0D\
Another way I put this is: "Women like sex the way men like soap operas and shopping."%0D\
R45 has never been attacked by a powerful animal. Hope you never are, buddy.
Wish I''d had a gun
Wow, R43 makes that nutjob at R24 seem sane by comparison.
So I see r43 is a waste of skin.
Homophobe and misogynist. Keep reaching for the stars r43/r47.
r43, it''s not a choice.\
Oh, and you''re a fucking prick. Go away.
For some reason, romance and intimacy seems less sexual to women in general, which makes it seem less overtly gay if they''re straight and decide they want to try out women for bonding needs.
Do women ever get sick and tired of being told they don''t like sex? I know I do.
No you do fuck off R45. I''ll make any assessments I want to. I''m sure if animals could talk they''d tell you to fuck off also.
Why is r43 here?
Anyone who equates gay sex with a sense of entitlement is a raging closet case.
So, is the CAPS troll also the Women Really Hate Sex troll?
Is this another one of those drama queen threads?
Straight guys who only cry when their dad or their dog dies.
Watch sports, eat BBQ, say "bro," marry a woman.
Well who doesn''t enjoy barbecue?
God, all these "up with humans, not animals" people are such defensive assholes. Animals are cool, humans are fine. Jesus. You''re old guys in the sticks, right?
Love the ad-hominem attacks from drama-queen whiners who can''t handle dissent.%0D\
Gays are the pricks. They prey on straight men by PRETNEDING to be something they never will be: MEN!%0D\
If gay men were real men, they wouldn''t have to CLOSET themselves. Hell, they''re being more aggressive to me than the bullies they kill themselves over.%0D\
Yeah, it''s not a choice if you can''t get the women you want, and you are such a sex-addicted PIG that you''ll turn against nature. %0D\
Keep whining, but I''m right. I laugh at your insults, faggots. Remember how you say if people hate you, there''s probably a VERY good reason? The reason? Closeted gays hitting on straights. Same reason many women grow to hate straight men.%0D\
Don''t blame me for your refusal to move beyond the mindset of a CHILD.
WARNING...WARNING!!!!angry closet case @R43 &R47
r64, your ego is unfucking real. Get your shit together.
I wonder what Ben Affleck is doing right now.
lol r64 makes no sense. Anyway...
[quote]Keep whining, but I''m right. I laugh at your insults, faggots. Remember how you say if people hate you, there''s probably a VERY good reason? The reason? Closeted gays hitting on straights.\
[quote]Gays are the pricks. They prey on straight men by PRETNEDING to be something they never will be: MEN!\
OH now I get it,you''re threatened by gay men who have sex with "straight" men.
Don''t some gay men tend toward being a histrionic personality?%0D\
histrionic personality disorder
Is Miss Helen Bedd turning up on this thread in a sicko anti-gay disguise?
This Gay does not prey on straight dudes- and if I could I''d put Gwenny''s fierce shoe between your eyes, Little Dick.\
Crawl back under your rock, you poor excuse for a man.\
You are an intolerant, abusive, sick shell of humanity. I pity you.\
Good night, Little Dick. No one wants you.
He''s a straight man who''s furious to wake up and find some gay men have stolen the remote control for his prick.
R43,R47 & R64=Matt Hissey
Obvious troll is obvious. Ignore.
unrequited love pretty much killed most of my emotions.
r64 = an angry frau who lost her man to a fag.
Cocaine. You''ll hate everyone, including yourself.
I prey on straight dudes. They are so immature they have never even considered another way of life, they have no reasons for anything they do. Just dumb animals (see R43, R47). But they always love gay sex better. ALWAYS. With no exceptions!
there are plenty of drugs to take the edge off, OP. A great percentage of the population is on them. No one can recommend one for you as no one knows which one will work for you - or for how long. You need to see a dr., and even then it''s a hit or miss situation. But it can be well worth it.\
And I am speaking from experience.
Is the troll the same guy posing as an author on another thread yesterday, the guy who said he wrote a book explaining that straight guys who hang out with other guys are always either closeted or clueless?\
No, I don''t remember the thread. All I know is that obvious troll sounds just like that author.
r43, is anything a choice?\
A great many of the world''s scientists don''t believe in free will for anything, let alone who one wants to have sex with.
r25, it does for me.
I guess it makes sense that a thread called "How to Kill your Emotions" would attract a complete fucking lunatic.
OP - Are you talking about feeling ALL emotions intensely or just the negative ones?\
If you''re an intense person, so be it. Enjoy the laughter, excitement and joy. I''d love to feel those positive emotions as intensely as I did when I was a child.\
If only the negative emotions are strong then you need to do something about it. If you don''t want to go the drug route try some "mindfulness", stop thinking about you and just tune in to the world around you. Think for a moment about where you are RIGHT NOW, what do you see, hear, smell and taste. Enjoy the moment, your life is made up of thousand upon thousands of these moments and every one is potentially joyous.
More than just one, r86.
My bf is really emotional, r87''s description made me think of him. I think his life would be very hard if he didn''t have people who are crazy about him and are always there for him. If he was single and wasn''t so close with his parents, he''d probably be a junkie or something to dull it all.
Translation: OP is a raging Drama Queen
OP, perhaps you would be a good boyfriend for the OP who wrote the thread about how much he hates criers and overly sensitive people.
I don''t know if I am just super emotional, deep, and expressive, or if I am depressed and over-analytical. I feel crazy lately. Been through a lot of job and relationship stress. Trying to figure out if I want to stay in the city I live in. I can''t seem to make crucial decision. I cry a LOT. I wallow in indecision because either choice will hurt someone I love. I think of things in the past and become instantly emotional about them, as if I have many unresolved issues.. Ahhh! If I could kill my many, overlapping emotions I would take that pill right about now.
R95, I also dwell on the past a lot. It seems as if my emotions are almost exclusively tied up with the past, and I feel little for anything that has happened in the years after a certain time period. I have a ton of unresolved issues.
R95: Wherever you are, you have found yourself there.
Some of these things can be exacerbated by depression, R95 & R96, so it might be good to get that checked out too, as a possible cause.
OP, instead of SSRI''s you could take 200 mg of L-Theanine which you can get at health food stores.\
Helps with anxiety. Take it about 30 minutes before bed.
True, R98. And I definitely have a prolonged depression and many anxieties and painful emotions that are eating away at me. I feel completely trapped.
You might want to go to your doctor and see if you qualify for a diagnosis of depression and maybe consider anti-depressants.
All of you who can''t move forward and make important decisions need therapy. The ones spending valuable time on their knees are wasting away. You will be the first to be left behind in the game of life. \
You can''t move forward until you make peace with your past. Resolve your issues. You are avoiding your life. Your spinning in the same circle and not making progress with anything. Sorry, but it''s true. You''re your own worst enemy.
How do we disarm that enemy, R102?
R103, I think some of you that have posted here genuinely can disarm the enemy within. Enemy of your thoughts or things that haunt you in your past. I would suggest therapy, or if you have the funds, a really great mentor who can help guide you in the right direction. It's not an easy task, it's hard. But with enough determination you can do it.
I also think there are some of you that don't really want to take the initiative to help yourselves. Sure, it's all fine to vent and talk about wanting a change, but that's a far cry from attempting to achieve it. I won't point anyone out here, but some people will have, and will always have the same issues. They won't change, because they are either avoidant, terrified of REAL change or a real challenge, or plain lazy and want an ideal version of their life handed to them on a silver platter. They will always hold themselves back.
Because it's easier to talk about it, vent about it on a thread time and time again, year after year, then to actually make the effort, move forward, and accomplish something.
[quote][R95], I also dwell on the past a lot. It seems as if my emotions are almost exclusively tied up with the past, and I feel little for anything that has happened in the years after a certain time period. I have a ton of unresolved issues.\
That''s my situation and I HAVE been in therapy for two years. It''s hard. Right now I''m ''reliving'' the most painful experience of my life through therapy just to get a healthier perspective on what happened. There''s nothing I would like more than to stop torturing myself.
R105, it is hard. But you''ve taken a really courageous step in going to therapy. You are doing yourself a huge service. You want things to change and you''re active about it. So stop torturing yourself over it.
Thanks, R106. I appreciate your words. \
Interestingly, one thing I learned in therapy is that one can still hide the deepest fears and pains in front of the therapist. I know I did that. I couldn''t go to the most vulnerable place for a long time. Except, I wasn''t fooling the therapist I was fooling myself. It''s time to really do the work.
Do any of you have a problem talking about your deepest issues because they make you feel extremely embarrassed and ashamed? As if you feel like even the therapist will think "Wow, I''ve heard a lot of things, but how did this person let themselves become such a big loser? And over stupid, nonsensical things like the ones he talked about?"\
I just feel humiliated talking about a lot of my issues. It it seems to keep me from reaching out. I also am used to feeling extremely misunderstood and misjudged when I try to explain things.
I like you R107. You''re not a weakling.
R99, I''m going to try that. Anyway... \
Nothing horrible (like abuse, violence) has happened in my past, yet I can''t seem to make decisions. I''m a lesbian in my 30''s. I do have a lot of unresolved issues and if asked, I would say I am unhappy. Would love to flip a switch and be carefree and happy. I have acted selfishly and made mistakes. I wish somebody or something would come into my life, and make decisions for me, tell me to go one way or another, and then I can finally move on. I used to be stronger and able to overcome anything, until I recently started dealing with major job, relationship stress. Some days I feel like I go through the day a zombie, just going through the motions.
[quote]I wish somebody or something would come into my life, and make decisions for me, tell me to go one way or another, and then I can finally move on.\
I know what you mean. I wish that someone would save me from my problems. Pull me out of them, reassure me that it''s going to be all right, and give me some direction. But nobody wants to hang around a shy person with issues.
R102, you are probably right about a lot of things. I just don''t like the idea at my age (30''s) of having to still talk about and deal with issues from my childhood and teen years. I wish I could bury it and not talk about it.\
It just seems exhausting to have to confront all that with a therapist.
[quote]It just seems exhausting to have to confront all that with a therapist.\
Feelings are just like treaures ... SO BURY THEM!
I learned that from Varla Jean
Does health insurance pay for therapy?
Mine does, up to 40 sessions per calendar year.
Oxford Health Plans
Can your insurance company come up and cancel you if you start seeing a therapist? That''s my main concern.
Live with a crazy person who says "Help Me" over and over for hours at a time. Cures you of feelings like nothing I''ve ever seen.%0D
Could you translate that into English please, R120?
R113, I agree with you there. I don't have any childhood/teen issues or the like, so I didn't feel the need to look into that method. But I do believe it's necessary for some.
I've never had anything that would be considered 'horrible" happen to me in my past. I would have to say, I've lived a good life. So for me, I opted to focus purely on the present and future - without the need to regurgitate my past in therapy. My past, is completely irrelevant to my life today. I don't think about it, nor do I have the desire to discuss it. Thinking about it is a tactic to avoid what's important - life in the now. So my method was not traditional. I tackle things that are relevant to my live today.
R122, I'll take a guess at R120. Are you referring to the similarity in the boy who cried wolf? When people keep cycling the "help me I have issues" to those around them, it becomes like hearing a broken record. At first you run to help and listen, when you hear it again, you still listen, but after you hear "help me" a few more times, you lose complete interest and no longer care about the person crying out "help me" - It's definitely selfish to keep complaining to people around you about your issues or problems when, fundamentally, you have no desire to fix them yourself. The people around you know this, and sooner or later discard your cries for help. They really don't care anymore.
R113, I should add: I did make peace with my past, but there wasn''t anything horrible to overcome. So once I did, I put it aside and my focus turned solely on my present and future. I think for some, when you do have huge issues in your past therapy is probably the best solution to overcoming it. But once you overcome them I do think it''s important to put it all to the side, and not to dwell.\
I know there are many SSRI believers - I don''t have experience in SSRI''s so I couldn''t offer an opinion or share an experience on something like that. But if it helps people, than why not explore it?
Do we think that the troll at R43/R47/R64 is gay or straight? That deserves it''s own polling thread.\
My vote is straight.
My vote is severe closet case in denial, R125.
[quote][R113], I should add: I did make peace with my past, but there wasn''t anything horrible to overcome. \
Damn, I was with you until you wrote this. That''s like being thin and telling fat people how it is not that hard to maintain healthy weight.
I''ve never taken Pantera--how does it feel?
Sorry R127. That''s my truth. I think anything I personally considered "bad" that lurked in my past wouldn''t be considered "bad or horrible" to the masses, you know? Not that it didn''t effect me, because it did, but people go through a lot more, and I''ve been lucky to have a good life.\
But I have to say, your post at R107. I admire you. I have a lot of admiration toward those who face their fears and do something about overcoming them. You''re very strong. That''s a pretty great trait to have.
Thanks, R113. I hope I wasn''t too harsh in my previous post. And even if I was, your answer was definitely elegant (and totally atypical for DL!).
Not at all harsh, R130.
I accidently signed as R113, I'm actually R102.
But to go on your theme from that post: There is always a lot more when you scratch the surface.
If you knew me, purely on a surface level, you would probably roll your eyes if I were to give advice on weight loss to someone obese. I'm a size 4, female, and pretty fit. It just wouldn't seem right, on the surface, for me to offer advice to someone who is clearly suffering with their weight.
But if you knew more about me, you would know that I was obese throughout my childhood and early teens. I did formulate a plan, fit for me, and lost close to 80 pounds when I was 14. I've kept that off 20 years. So even though that was 20 years ago, I still have that experience, and would probably offer advice or effect ways to keep trim.
Anyway, that was just an analogy.
I don't think people, in general, have the instinct to offer there opinions on issues unless they have some sort of direct experience on the issue. Whether that experience is outwardly noticeable to others or not, doesn't dismiss the experience, or one similar.
Sounds a bit harsh, R123.
wallowing in tits
A lobotomy usually works. That, or electro shock therapy
Be happy you have any emotions without them you''d be dead. Celebrate what you have don''t wollow in doubt and pity. Your life is in your own hands.
I learned to do this along time ago. I wish I hadn't. But for those wanting: "I don't care". Implement that every time you get emotional. That's it. Discretion is advised.
Well the only cure for I know for killing emotions would be a .357 magnum round to the temple... well any place as long as the bullet travels through the brain.
hmm.... for me, it's easier. cause I didn't even feel sad or happy or feeling the love by someone I don't know why but I'm HAPPY that I don't have any feelings about the others, I think... cause they don't mean anything to me, I just keep ignoring them...
So.. I think that you should think of yourself only, no one else, nobody, just live for yourself and you'll be fine
Anything from a health food store is garbage and a waste of $.