What advice do you have to piss off a conservative? (Not that they''re actually conservative. They''re Rethugs.)
Say Obama is the greatest president since Clinton.
Diss their patron saints and banner carriers. Or call them on their bullshit.
Say something nasty about Ronald Reagan
When they announce that they are conservative/Republican I talk slower and louder. They are nothing more than short-bus people all grown up.
Reagan was senile since he was gov. of California.
Dare to speak the truth, especially any truth that goes against their preciously held dogma.%0D\
Like the fact that the Founding Fathers were liberal.%0D\
That Jesus was a liberal.%0D\
Or the fact that conservatives are always on the wrong side of history, and always lose in the end.%0D\
Mention that James Madison thought taxation of the rich "to mediocrity" was the best way to ensure the survival of the republic.
Talk about how much of a surprise it was to learn that Nancy Davis was a wonder at giving blowjobs
Mention the fact that every single first lady in the last 50 years was pro-choice.%0D\
Mention that the worst president in living memory was Dubbya, and that the second worst was Reagan.%0D\
Talk about Reagan''s personal astrologer, Carroll Righter. Reagan wouldn''t do anything without getting his advice.\
Oh, and point out that nearly all the founding fathers were either agnostic of Deist (meaning none of them took the Bible literally or believed that Jesus was the son of God.) Tell them to look it up, if they don''t believe you.\
George Washington stopped taking communion at his Episcopal Church because he felt it was wrong to "pretend." Thomas Jefferson was probably closest to being an atheist. They talked about God in public, but in private, they revealed their disbelief, and all they have to do is a little research to find that out.\
You can also have an Obama bumper sticker and wear an Obama t-shirt.
Tell them you''re on welfare/disability.
Say you''re proud to pay your taxes, because with your taxes you buy civilization and a better standard of living.
That''s usually enough to piss them off.
tell them you can''t get enough big black cock
HRH Queen Mothe Elizabeth
Tell them your taxes pay their salaries.
OP, they''re already pissed off.
Cum on their face, smear it in their hair, and then ask them for cab fare.
Trick question, OP. You stand on him while peeing, of course.
Let them go off on something. Anything. Obama''s birth certificate. MSNBC. The DREAM Act. Nancy Pelosi. The "liberal media." Anything at all. Then, when they''re all worked up:\
"Well, I admire your passion, but I don''t know how I could go through my life being that angry about every little thing! Proverbs says ''A cheerful heart is good medicine,'' and I believe my Bible!"
I want to marry R20.
Explain how "free market" means "screw the little guy and give the big guy all the profits." Free markets were what they had in the 1880s-90s and that got us the robber barons...men who made millions without an income tax, established dynasties (Paris Hilton), and the little guy made pennies for an 18 hour day while children worked their whole lives.%0D
Conservatives point and laugh at Liberals.\
Liberals get angry, try to curse out conservatives, and their heads usually explode.\
Liberals have serious mental issues.
R24, you just described conservatives... they''re always so angry, red-faced, bursting veins... usually over stupid shit. They''re also almost always racist, sexist, homophobic, and/or xenophobic. And they''re almost always wrong, and almost always accusing others of what they themselves are guilty of, being the hypocrites that they are.%0D
ask them for money
works like a charm
R24 = climate-freako
Tell them you''re a socialist.
Tell they must surrender more of their cash to support your hare-brained schemes.
First, the conservatives were against freeing the slaves. \
Then the conservatives were against giving women the right to vote.\
Then, the conservatives were against Social Security. \
Then, the conservatives were against giving equal rights to blacks. \
Then, the conservatives were against creating Medicare. \
Then, the conservatives were against creating Medicaid. \
Now, the conservatives are against creating Health Care and gay rights.
Pass Unconstitutional Obamacare
teary John Boner...pisses orange. She in trouble! This will be fun, except for conservatives.
Personally, I''d rather piss ON a conservative. And I''m sure there are quite a few who''d be more than willing.
[italic]piss of a conservative [/italic]\
Thanks, OP! I was just trying to remember what the third ingredient was after "eye of newt and toe of frog."\
When the hurly-burly''s done,\
When Sarah Palin''s lost her gun ...
I meant piss "off" ...%0D\
Ask for evidence.
Eye of newt, toe of frog, piss of a conservative ... I'm liking this recipe!
I'm so stealing R20's tactic. I even looked it up "A cheerful heart is good medicine" - it's Proverbs 17:22 if you really want to get churchy on their azz.
Ask them to back up their bile with facts. You will then have to explain what a fact is.
Use "of" when you really mean "off." Drives them nuts.
Be gay and expect equal protection under the law as guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States of America.
Be a woman and expect equal protection under the law as guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States of America.
Be a racial minority and expect equal protection under the law as guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States of America.
Be poor and expect equal protection under the law as guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States of America.
You really can't piss us off. We're quite charitible with our reactions to your rethugerations. See posts 2-46.
True story; the other day a senior came into our building. He was feeling his oats, it appeared. He had just seen the documentary bashing Obama. So he apparently thought he had us in his ready control, and began bashing the prez. Lo and behold, he got an argument against his hatred for Obama. He didn't expect this, as three of us replied, "Obama! Obama!" to his rant declaring he didn't want to hear the name, Obama, again.
He exited rather quickly!
Tell him Pres Obama will never be re-elected, because The Rapture will occur and take away all of the Good Christians way before 2012 ends.
It doesn't work that way, OP.
Liberals are very emotional (like small children) they're the ones who get angry with Conservatives. Everything makes them angry. They're miserable people.
Conservatives laugh at Liberals (which only makes Liberals more angry).
Tell them you used to be a conservative until you realized they were nothing but mafia hosebags.
What R46 said.
Everything seems to piss them off. Might be easier to ask, "what doesn't piss off a conservative TODAY."
"Piss of a conservative"? Is that the next ingredient after eye of newt and toe of frog? I forget.
say the truth.
"How do you piss of a conservative?"
Google "wide stance"
Heavens to murgatroyd!!!
NOT Larry Craig
I like using conservatives own words against them. Tell them that according to Dick Cheney, defects don't matter.
r50 so true. Liberals can be some of the meanest, nastiest cunts on the planet. I LOATHE them
Obama is continuing and expanding the same policies that the liberals HATED Bush for. Now you hear crickets lol
You'd have to drink a person if you were going to piss of a person.
Piss OFF a person - well, that's a different story.
rape him legitimately. if he's conservative enough some certain parts of his body should shut down and he will be just fine.
Oh you, poor, poor freepers. Do you not realize we laugh at you constantly? At your rejection of science, at your poor spelling, at your embrace of the totally lunatic Tea Party, at your scandals (Repuke senator has 34 year old illegitimate son with another Repuke senator's daughter!).
There's so much to laugh at as we watch the waning days of the Republican party!
Use the phrase "47%" in a sentence
Libs are always pissed if you disagree. Just read the posts on DL. Sooooo many "men" PMSing. Damn.
Have fun with this assignment.
Serve stodgy, 1970s era vegetarian fare for dinner.Think Rhoda Morganstern here. Break out the cotton tapestries and Patchouli. Burn incense, too, while you're at it. Talk about your yoga class and channeling.
Talk endlessly about the harm big biz and agribiz is doing to the environment.
Along with #2 above,start talking about Peak Oil, and tie it in to big biz.
DISS RONALD REAGAN and his "achievements".
Sigh, and say things such as, "Well, finally, Obama has given us ALL socialized medicine." Praise it endlessly,to the point of idolizing Obama.
Complain about how your low wages are never enough, and how the rich MUST be taxes more, all the while complaining about how more spending is need for schools, salaries, roads, whatever. Complain you can't get food stamps.
Praise NPR and DISS DISS DISS Fox. Compare Fox to Nazis.
Finally, Diss big time Bill O'Reilly.
All of the above work on a Republican I know.
Right back at you, R63. Your illiterate opinions regarding the economy picked up from your co workers at the mall. You failed miserably at life and are totally bitter toward those that have not. Funny and sad at the same time. By the way, no freeper, paid subscription here.
Looks like we already pissed one off.
How to piss DL libturds off would be a better thread because it's so easy to do!
R68 I'm not pissed at all. I'm doing great. Thanks. Life could not be better.
I was talking to my conservative boss this morning and I mentioned how Bush got us into a war we could not afford. I thought she would get angry but she said, they gave all of our tax money to Haliburton, because of Cheney.
So I'm thinking, maybe not every conservative is as dumb as a mud fence.
Have a gay man wearing a thong made from an aborted fetus hold a sign that says "Repeal the 2nd Amendment," while cursing God.
Another thing I noticed this year, there were hardly any Romney/Ryan bumper stickers...I'm wondering if people are starting to wake up?
R67, your grammar sucks. Perhaps a college education is in order?
[quote] How do you piss of a conservative?
I piss of their pissiness
[quote]Sooooo many "men" PMSing. Damn.
care to elaborate, freeperella?
r72, you are the reason straights HATE us!! Now go die of AIDS FAG!!!
Disconnect the battery from their medicare scooter.
Go chill the fuck out, Rage-queen/r77. You're on the DL not Free Republic where you need to feel such misplaced shame.
R77 why much anger, why so much hate? Is it because Americans have rejected you, your leaders and your values? Oh well, as Karl Rove said, elections have consequences.
R59, then don't let the door hit you on the way out, cunty.
You guys try way to hard. Open with "Man I watched that Fox News, what a load of horsesshit" If that does not get them I say "thank god we have health care for everyone now."
Mention that we didn't win in Vietnam or Korea.
[quote] How to piss DL libturds off would be a better thread because it's so easy to do!
How many lead paint chips did your mama eat when she was pregnant with you, R69?
Bring up the subject of metrosexuals. After they go off about it, say that you disagree with it too, because now only homophobia is a reliable indicator of homosexuality.
Two words: Happy Holidays
Call them on their racism.
Just like Americans rejected the demonrats for 8 years during Bush and 12 during Reagan/ bUSH The GOP will return. two party system is the American way.
Elections indeed have consequences. Everyone's taxes went up and we have drones
[quote] defects don't matter.
Defects matter to the defective!
r89, the left is bigoted as well just towards whites and Christians and Jews
[quote] Two words: Happy Holidays
Good one! LOL
R88 how's living in the past working out for you?
Btw, taxes are the lowest they have been in 60 years, so forgive me if I think you don't know what you're talking about
Ask them to borrow a couple of bucks, because your welfare check doesn't come for a couple of days and you need to pay for your abortion.
LOL r97 touche!
The freeper troll on this thread is truly schizophrenic. Over there, on the Azealia Banks thread, he claims to be a bisexual chick who is offended by the fact that white gay men hate women and African Americans. Can you pick one identity and stick with it please? Even the Datalounge trolls are getting lazy... I blame Obama!!
White gay men DO hate women especially black women!!!
I blame flaming faggots with prolapsed assholes r99
R101 Speak for yourself. The things you hate about yourself you project onto others. It's what Regressives do.
isn't "Prolapsed Asshole" the Secret Service code name for John Boehner?
We don't actually have a two party system...we have conservative democrats and then we have crazy right wingers. To me...those options are both Republican.
r105, an honest lib!
[quote]White gay men DO hate women especially black women!!!
Remind them that they lost the popular vote for the presidency, senate and the house. That really gets them going over at City Data, especially after they were so certain that it was theirs to lose.
Remind them that their message is so rejected by much of the population, they have to resort to cheating to win national elections.
"Tell them you're on welfare/disability."
So are most of them; that isn't enough. You have to have the wrong "story" justifying your dependance on government handouts.
Are you brown-skinned and/or accented-"foreign"? That's good enough. If you're white American, is your "disability" visible? Are you old? If you're a woman with children, are your children all white? Is their father the same and is he dead? Were you married to him? Just go through the checklist, and eventually you will enrage them by somehow being unentitled to their entitlement.
"Freeper Fag" - isn't that a sort of "Jewish Nazi"
Why would you want to? I'm very much a fiscal conservative and have never given any thought to how I would piss off a liberal. Why does it have to resort to "pissing off." Both sides of the fence have their merits and both sides have their liabilities. If you really, want to get your point across try a mature, informed discussion instead of hurling insults or trying to piss someone off.
Tell them that Obama is going to take confiscate their guns, and force them to gay-marry an illegal immigrant.
That "fiscal Conservative" meme is laughable. That's code words for "we'll spend trillions on wars and on our own interests, and cut anything that actually benefits society."
selfservative 1. (adjective) Misinterpreting conservatism to justify selfishness. 2. (noun) A person who practices or justifies selfservative behavior.