For all you guys who want to meet and date masculine gay men...
Event Date: Feb. 5, 2011, 8-10pm%0D\
Description: Meet guys who are manly in appearance and interests. Get into four discussion groups about what masculinity means to you, and the kind of masculinity you seek, then meet guys one-on-one in a free mingling period. Finally, write a list of the men you want to date, and minutes later you find out your mutual matches. %0D\
I know I''ll be there!%0D\
I find some gay men have a warped view of what''s masculine. If your wrist is limp you''re not masculine.
There are very few things more tiresome than queens obsessed with their masculinity.
Bleeech.... Butch guys are gross!
R2 You are 100% correct. Some gay men will never consider a gay man masculine because in their messed up heads only haterosexual males can be authenitcally masculine and gay men can only be authenitcally effeminate. They don''t know what masculinity is because they didn''t interact with haterosexual guys that much as children. Those of us who had heterosexual brothers who were into sports and/ or haterosexual male friends know the masculinity gay men desire is LEARNED through socializing with other males growing up and it is not some hidden secret that is always out of reach for them because they are gay.
R5, I don''t know what any of those words mean.
The gay and lesbian center.%0D\
Safe haven for fags who can''t get laid.
As a straight acting gay guy, that holds my interests. I''m very picky, essentially.
Something tells me you''re unlikely to meet your dream cowboy at that event.
[quote]The Center should be ashamed of themselves for holding this and reinforcing the view that an only worthy gay man is a straight-acting gay man. Seriously, what the hell are they thinking?\
In their typically earnest way, they are trying to "reach out" to a segment of the gay community. Now, can anyone imagine a truly masculine gay guy going to the gay community center to meet that macho man of his dreams?
I find it hard to believe that truly masculine men would sit around and talk about it.
There''s going to stick around and discuss chartering a bus to DC for FOLLIES.
Bernadette was just BORN to play Sally!!!
For me, it goes back to the old saying...if l wanted a woman, I''d go out and get one. The guy who is 6''2 and weighs 145lbs. And has a purse fall out of his mouth every time he opens it......does NOTHING for me.
[quote]And has a purse fall out of his mouth every time he opens it\
People who use this line are themselves not masculine. They know a little too much about what they don''t like.
I think this is a good thing. It keeps these guys and all their baggage away from the rest of us.
Gay guy who''s considered masculine
There ARE guys who think the sound of a purse falling out of the mouth, is sexy.
We need a masculine feminine poll
It''s football season. I thought they shopped at Lowe''s during the game like everyone else.
can''t throw, won''t catch, but I''ve poured concrete
Oh, to be a fly on the wall at that event!
This stuff really bugs the shit out of you mincing, prissy, Adam Lambert fans, doesn''t it bitches?
This sounds like it'll be hilarious to watch. I've been to a few of the center's gay speed-dating events and had very little luck. Some nice guys there, but the people tend to be a bit peculiar. Then there are the flaky young guys who go but don't follow through with their matches because they think better of it later.%0D
I'm considered and consider myself masculine, in that people who first meet me never, ever think I'm gay. One guy in my grad program who knew me casually for two years had absolutely no idea I was gay until it came out at a happy hour, and he was amazed. So that's where I'm coming from.%0D
I don't have a problem with guys who are fem per se, and I'm not really into the Marlboro guy bullshit - I'm much more into the nerdy, metrosexual type (think Canadian guys who played D&D in high school.) But I absolutely hate the guys who adopt stereotypically gay mannerisms in a flamboyant way. They're just posing, and it's totally uncreative. That's a huge turn-off for me.%0D
If your voice is naturally high, if you're not into sports, if you genuinely like theater, if you naturally carry yourself a bit on the light side - wonderful.%0D
If you ostentatiously refer to yourself and your friends as "girls," walk into a room with huge eyes and a mince and scream, "where's my appletini, bitches?", think it's healthy at 40 to spend every free night wearing A&F gear at the local bar and making penis jokes with your friends from the bathhouse, or generally act like you're channeling Jackee from 227, then, sorry, you have a pathetic personality.%0D
There's no difference between that behavior and that of a closeted guy trying desperately to butch it up in order to fit in with the straights.
It''s always interesting, though, to see the kind of nellies who think they ''act straight''. Like Lance Bass calling himself a ''SAG''. What a laugh.
"I don''t mind sissies, as long as they tone it down in front of me" is the new "I got no problem with the gays, as long as they don''t shove their sex lives down my throat."
Hiding my light under a bushel for R31
the Center isn''t behind this event. It''s just some nelly opportunist queens in "Event Planning" who themselves can''t get laid and are prissy queens.
Interesting thread, never knew this debate existed in gay society.\
You really do learn something new everyday.
R31, who is "Jackee from 227?" You ain''t my type, either.
R23, You just described US figure skater Evan Lysacek.
r37, I ADORE Barrett!!
Oooooh. Sounds marvy.\
Think I''ll wear my Ungaro spring flock.\
Don''t tell my big dicked black husband!
Fuckin'' A, what about them fuckin'' Jets.
Would Vin Diesel date Johnny Weir?
"For me, it goes back to the old saying...if l wanted a woman, I''d go out and get one."\
Wrong. Guys who say that always sound ridiculous. If you wanted a woman, you''d be straight. Or bi. And the guys who say this are never bi.
R42 No. Johnny said in an interview with Howard Stern that he hasn''t had sex with a man since August and doesn''t get much attention. It''s because he''s too effeminate for gay men and is too stubborn to make an effort to appeal to gay men. For me some slightly effeminate gay men are very attractive like Jake Steel however Johnny is too much.%0D\
Heterosexual males do not have a lock on masculine behavior so this "straight-acting" word needs to go.
What''s "haterosexual"? Is that supposed to be clever?
R43 What that expression means is that if a guy wanted ANOTHER guy who ACTS like a girl, he''d rather just get a girl instead.
No, R46, a bi guy says that to you to let you know he wants you to take charge. Of his prostate.\
You essentially have a needy bottom who still tortures some fat broad into thinking they have a future together with baby jebus.\
And they come in the full spectrum of post-WWII male-identified mannerisms.
R44, Johnny said in that interview that he is only attracted to masculine men as well. Are you saying that to "make an effort" he needs to tone it down by butching it up in order to get some male attention? Why would masculine men only be attracted to other masculine men? Most masculine staight men are attracted to women who are decidedly non-masculine, so why aren''t more masculine gay men attracted to fem gay men.%0D\
The whole idea seems pretty silly...and I''m sure most of the attendees will be flaming queens.
"why aren''t more masculine gay men attracted to fem gay men."%0D\
Many are, R48. That''s why the stereotype exists of there (supposedly) always having to be a dominant and a submissive partner in gay relationships. Not surprisingly, most of the people I''ve heard this from were straight.
[quote] Johnny said in that interview that he is only attracted to masculine men as well.\
From Johnny''s perspective, that includes about 99 44/100% of gay men.
Thanks R37. I figured it was somethin like that. R9 had it right. If you want to meat yer dream cowboy, go where the cowboys are.
Marlboro Guy and His Bullshit
I''ve mentioned this in other threads, but I''m a masculine guy who''s attracted to feminine men. Not "campy" men who fit every gay stereotype, but men are secure in their sexuality. \
Fem guys turn me on just a much as masculine guys, but I''ve noticed that whenever I''m around them, they seem to assume I don''t want to have anything to do with them. I''ve been asked several times if I''m really gay (at one point my ex-boyfriend thought that I might be straight, but dating men because of my tense relationship with my mother). Yes, I''m gay. And I like fem guys. Too bad gay men are often so insecure that they resort to relying on assumptions.
Maybe it''s because they think you''re going to beat the shit outta them.
Marlboro Guy and His Bullshit
[quote]"why aren''t more masculine gay men attracted to fem gay men."\
[quote]Many are, [R48].\
A high-profile example is Carmen Carrera of [italic]RuPaul''s Drag Race[/italic] and her macho husband. Also, former porn star Caesar (who''s technically bi) loves girly twinks.
What makes you think masculine men want to date other masculine men? \
Butch guys are naturally attracted sissy guys.
God, I''m glad I''m married.
Masculine = emotionally limited & unimaginative
"Those of us who had heterosexual brothers who were into sports and/ or haterosexual male friends know the masculinity gay men desire is LEARNED through socializing with other males growing up and it is not some hidden secret that is always out of reach for them because they are gay."%0D\
Uh, I know a ton of nelly guys who had macho brothers and macho dads, but still turned out to be effeminate. Socializing with macho men doesn''t make you macho. Some men are naturally very masculine, others are not.%0D\
"Butch guys are naturally attracted sissy guys."%0D\
The most masculine gay men I know generally want to date other masculine men. Although maybe the ones you hang out with are different...%0D\
[quote]The Center should be ashamed of themselves for holding this and reinforcing the view that an only worthy gay man is a straight-acting gay man. Seriously, what the hell are they thinking?\
This has to be one of the dumbest things I have EVER read on DL. \
The Center holds events for poz men. Does this reinforce the view than the only worthy gay man is a poz man?\
I''ve gotta say it you are dumber than dirt.
Dumber than dirt never came back to answer. Telling very telling.
You cannot be masculine and call another guy "butch."
"Most masculine staight men are attracted to women who are decidedly non-masculine, so why aren''t more masculine gay men attracted to fem gay men."\
Because people who are attracted to women (male or female) usually find feminine women to be attracted, masculine women not so much, whereas people who are attracted to males (bisexual/gay males or straight/bisexual females)usually are much more attracted to masculine males than non-masculine. Moreover, society exalts masculine men above all other groups, so it is a premium trait.
Carmen Carrera isn''t that feminine out of drag though, R55.
65 posts in this topic, and the phrase ''self-loathing'' hasn''t appeared once. What happened?%0D\
I''ve been told on several occasions I don''t "read gay at all" and guys I hook up with frequently ask me about my "girlfriend" or "wife" that they think I have to go home to, but there''s no special woman in my life. So I don''t know how masculine I am, but I guess I''m "straight-acting" enough for most people. Self loathing doesn''t come into play. I am never turned on by unmasculine men, ever. I wouldn''t go to this meeting/dating thing either, though. Doesn''t sound like something a bunch of guy''s guys would want to sit around talking about. I''d rather just go straight for the balls-sniffing and hairy asshole-eating. And yes, it is totally possible to do that and retain your masculinity and not feel any self loathing.%0D\
I still think the only gay guys who constantly throw around the ''self-loathing'' accusation are fems who are smarting from being passed over by those of us not turned on by them.
[quote]Masculine/feminine is such a weird distinction that seems to encourage two equally artificial schools of drag.\
Agreed. The only people I ever hear using the term "masculine" are effeminates. They seem to only be able to see males as extreme caricatures. Why, I''m not sure. Is it the natural unaffected male that terrifies them?
R67, when you say "natural unaffected male" are you referring to nerds? Because I''m not really attracted to them either. %0D\
I see the word ''masculine'' used all the time on craigslist or other hookup sites by other masculine men who want to make sure they don''t get responses from fem guys. The ones I''ve connected with really are masculine, so your theory is BS. The fem guys are the ones who describe themselves as ''cute''.
"nerds"? Where did that come from? It sounds like another caricature that would come from effems.\
I wasn''t talking about craigslist terminology r68. You''re mostly right about that. There, "masculine" has become codespeak for normal. \
When I say "natural unaffected male" I''m talking about 85% of the guys you''d see on a college campus. I see them everyday. It''s really the oddball who''s all musclebound or pierced and prissy.
This discussion of "masculinity" is tired and going nowhere. It''s like talking about how "homosexual" a person is. Is "homosexual most of the time but can have sex with women," or is it "sex with men" only??? Or is it "have sex with women but only have emotional connections with guys"? Or is it "have sex with guys but only have emotional connections with women"? There is a wide, wide spectrum of sexuality, and there are NOT enough labels for ALL men. \
That is also true of masculinity - there is a wide, wide spectrum of that. What matters is that you find what you are comfortable and happy with. And there is absolutely no need to discriminate against those who are not on the same spot of the spectrum with you.\
Hell, I''ve heard a comment from a gay friend that Vin Diesel isn''t "masculine" enough for him if Vin was gay.
Right, R69, it''s fem guys who are most likely to use the term ''nerds''. Ridiculous. Sounds like something a nerd would say.%0D\
R70, does not being attracted to unmasculine men count as discrimination against them? You can''t control what you''re attracted to.%0D\
On a college campus, ''normal'' is one thing. If I''m looking for dick online and I need to describe what I''m looking for, I use the term ''masculine'' because it''s slightly more descriptive than ''normal''. It''s usually obvious that ''masculine'' does not mean ''muscleheaded caricature''. I would like to think that the guys attending this meet-up that I have no interest in are not going to be muscleheads/caricatures of masculinity.
[quote]It''s usually obvious that ''masculine'' does not mean ''muscleheaded caricature''.\
Unfortunately, on DL it seems to mean that. Have you seen the pic threads? Older ballooned-out grizzled types or slightly younger ballooned-out orange-skinned types.\
And what IS up with your use of the term nerd? Do you see that as some kind of put-down of a natural normal guy?
"does not being attracted to unmasculine men count as discrimination against them?"\
Of course not. Why would it be?\
"On a college campus, ''normal'' is one thing."\
So, you are saying that some people that are not on the same spot of the "masculinity" spectrum - not as masculine as you are or as masculine as you want them to be - are NOT normal. I hope this is not what you are saying, because if it is, then that is discrimination, no doubt. It''s like straight men calling gay men "not normal" just because gay men cannot enjoy having sex with women as much as thety do.\
"I would like to think that the guys attending this meet-up that I have no interest in are not going to be muscleheads/caricatures of masculinity."\
You have more than two run-on sentences. I can''t understand what you are trying to get across. Sorry about that.
Butch or femme, if a guy''s smart, sexy and happy in his own skin, then I''ll probably find a place in my bed for him. Anyone''s who''s too hung up on how ''masculine'' they appear to others is probably dull as old dishwater (and not nearly as butch as they think they are).
Who do I have to fuck to get a decent crantini around here?!
Jack'd app has a lot of masculine athletic fit dudes
Jacked has masc dudes
I'm considered masculine and am out at my job, I'm very athletic and play football and have challenged and beat younger straight dudes(I'm in my early 30s) that I work with in hockey, my favorite sport.
I agree with an earlier poster who said masculinity is LEARNED at a young age through socialization with other boys and that straight men don't have a lock on masculinity.
Which brings me to my next point about how I hate that stupid ass term "straight acting", if you wanna say your masculine say your masculine like me, but how "straight acting" are you if your sucking dick and most straight guys are pussies amyway, especially when they get a longterm girlfriend and are "pussy whipped", so why would I wanna identify myself with a bunch of dudes who are pussies and who I could easily beat in sports
R82 continued combat fighting, weight lifting etc.
If your entire existence revolves around what straight men think of you then your not very masculine, since it means that you lack confidence and confidence is the most masculine thing
My best friend is hot and bisexual and in a long relationship with a woman, we've never fooled around because he doesn't wanna cheat, but if he ever broke up with her he told me he would wanna pursue a relationship with me if I were single
He's my bro and I love this guy as a friend, and he's one of the most masculine guys I ever met and he's not straight either so enough
I hate the term "straight acting too," but apparently it conveys precisely what people are trying to communicate very well. I think "masculine" should be used to convey the same idea, but people tend to reflexively say "straight acting." I think what they mean is that they are just like your average straight guy, except they like dudes, so they use the term "straight acting."
[quote]R82: if you wanna say your masculine say your masculine like me, but how "straight acting" are you if your sucking dick
[quote]R83: then your not very masculine
Your not that smart when it comes to "your" vs "you're," are you, masculines? But you're masculinity makes up for it, I'm sure.
R83 continued with this "straight acting" bullshit.
We hunt together, go camping and fishing, spot each other when benching at the gym drink shots together, watch every sports game together, wrestle and do jujitsu together, we'll also beat each other up and box each other for the hell of it
We rip ass and burp in front of each other openly and even piss and shit in front of one another in the woods when we go camping we don't use no pussy ass tent.
He like me feels the same way about feminine gay guys it's just like dating a woman with a penis and were both repulsed by them sexually
Although I do have 2 good friends who are a couple and they're both very flamboyant.
He also agrees with me that TRUE homosexuality is an extension of MALE BONDING and masculinity, which is a beautiful thing.
[quote]The Center should be ashamed of themselves for holding this and reinforcing the view that an only worthy gay man is a straight-acting gay man.
You know, its funny, but I have re-read that press release three times now, and no where in it does it say what you are claiming it says. Weird, huh? Its almost as if you didn't really read what was written and decided to just shoot your mouth off about something of which you know nothing.
That, or your a liar.
you're* a liar
I'd love to meet masculine gay men, but I fear I'll have to make do with meeting space aliens instead.
R85 = overweight, lisping, Glee loving he-she, whose mad that all the hot and masculine gay or bi guys WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH HE/SHE
Don't you have to rush out and buy Lady Gaga's new album?
Truly masculine men, like myself, are able to laugh at themselves and act girly every now and then. The ones who don't are always fronting and such pussies in real life.
[quote]WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH HE/SHE
OH, DEAR ALL OVER AGAIN.
R89 they do exist, just a lot of them ain't open about it, which come to think of it, isn't very masculine to not be open with who you are
It's very contradictory
When I tell people I'm gay, I've had other people swear that I'm joking with them, hell I've been to gay bars and have guys come up to me and ask me if I'm straight!
REAL MASCULINITY cannot be faked however, it is something that most (straight) men learn from male bonding and experiences when they're young
It's not only how you carry yourself, but also how you respond and react to a situation
Men are supposed to be strong, heroic, stoic and never "pussy out" and maintain their natural masculinity AT ALL TIMES
REAL men never cry in public, don't give a shit about clothes or fashion and don't gossip behind people's backs, they always deal with a problem head on, and REAL men aren't afraid to physically fight for something they believe in even if you know you're gonna get your ass beat, never back down from anothet dude.
REAL men exude confidence, and are competitive with other males, but also have their buddies back
Another thing, REAL men never compare themselves to a woman or even see themselves in a woman even if it's a "strong woman"
REAL men should always look up to and admire other men as role models.
REAL masculine gay men should also never worship a straight guy and you should never feel inferior to them either
They're not better than you just because they like pussy, you're both men and are on the same playing field, you can be just as if not more masculine than most straight guys, who come to think of it aren't very masculine themselves
REAL masculine gay men also never drink fruity mixed drinks and they don't drink cosmopolitans
They drink hard liquor, beer and do shots and try to out drink their buddies
r91, not sure what you mean, but what do you mean by acting girly? I know of plenty of masculine dudes that never act girly.
This thread needs to be linked to the Why are so Many Gay Men Single thread.
When I think about the things a masculine man would typically do, sitting around with a bunch of strangers in a community center talking about feelings is not high on the list.
All gay MEN are masculine, there are just some trans effete girls sometimes ufairly mixed with our community.
R96 = lonely trans girl who is upset no gay man wants to date a chick with dick
I don't want to meet masculine gay men. I want to meet masculine BI dudes.
R100, because you like the pussy breath in their mouth?
r102, just a more mainstream vibe with bi dudes that is more attractive to me. They tend to just be regular dudes who happen to be into dudes, which is what I prefer. No disrespect to gay dudes.
R120 = self-hater who will have sex with Ron Jeremy just because he's "straight"
r103, nope, Ron Jeremey is not hot, so I am not interested. Because I am bi, you claim of self-loathing fails by definition.
R104, anther proof bis are the worst homophobes
r105, not being attracted to something is not homophobia. you severely overreach with your language, dude.
Being attracted to masculine men does not mean you're homophobic or self loathing. Being attracted to masculine men means you are attracted to masculine men. That's all. End of story. The need to analyze it and assign some other motivation is pretty silly and only makes one wonder about what happened in the past for a person to make such a absurd and hateful claim.
R106, not being attracted just because a man doesn't put his dick in the filthy vagina is homophobia
[quote] not being attracted just because a man doesn't put his dick in the filthy vagina is homophobia
So says the misogynist.
The filthy vagina? Lol
r109, once again you misappropriate a word, this time "misogynist." learn the correct definition, man. don't get so butthurt about other people's individual attractions, dude.
Now the word is "dude" is being overused in this particular thread. I love hearing the word dude on a lispy voice!
R112 I always laugh when feminine gay guys say that masculine gay guys think saying the world "dude" or "bro" makes you more masculine
That's not the case at all as I know plenty of straight girls who say "dude" or "bro" as well
Feminine gay guys have such a chip on their shoulder
Get over it and be a man
R111. No disrespect, but your post seems to be in reaction to imaginary things that never happened. First, I am not butthurt about other peoples attractions. Nor have I expressed an opinion that remotely resembles such. I dont care what others find attractive or not, because you know, that whole, "its none of my business thing". But saying finding something not of your interest is the same as hating it is stupid and wrong. In fact, I expressed something that is basically the same thing as you are saying.
Two: I'm not sure why you say I "once again" misappropriated the word seeing how I never used it before on this thread. Lastly, can you tell us how saying vaginas are filthy is not misogynistic? Can you tell us what the correct definition is?
R93 you gave me a boner.
Sorry but fem acting guys are not attractive at all. I can be friends with them, but I could never get it up for them.
I really like masculine men - it's what cinches the "chemistry" for me; it's what gives me butterflies - but the poster at R82 really comes across as repulsive.
Maybe it's an America vs. the rest of the world thing but people in North America (gay guys included) seem to confuse masculinity with being a neanderthal.
Seriously, R82, if what you've just done is reveal how all masculine guys think, you just turned me off them forever. Your hollow machismo is not at all appealing, and speaking like a fratboy (at 30, no less!) makes you come across as pathetic and stupid. You just seem massively uneducated. Furthermore, you sound like a massive princess with your giant lists.
Anyway, enough about R82.
My ideal guy is Christoph Waltz (Hans Landa can drag me away for inspection any day) and I'd say I'm pretty much like him as well, in personality. I like straight talkers and direct, no-nonsense, smart people. I like finery, I like to dress well but fashion and labels don't interest me. North American media is utterly naff. Hence, I don't care for most flamboyant gay men. Then again, princess personalities annoy the fuck out of me. Ironically, nelly flamers seem to employ as much artifice as str8 acting dudes do.
It only comes down to personality, I think. Weak-willed people give in to whatever they perceive to be the accepted standard: For a gay guy who has mostly female friends, whose source of acceptance is stereotypical females, his best bet is to flame. For a gay guy who hangs around with stereotypical neanderthal men, his safest choice is to emulate that ideal.
The people that think for themselves can carve a true identity for themselves; those are the ones that I find truly fascinating.
...and you just know that the hetero-obsessed "masculine" guys on here are not fooling anyone in real life, they are far too bitchy and consumed with masculinity to resemble anything of the sort. I wish I could see them out and about and smirk. :P
just another bro.
I know this guy on another forum -- we've met in person -- who in his online communications frequently describes himself as "rather masculine."
He isn't. He's a perfectly nice man. But I can tell he's gay. He's who I think of when these threads get going. If all these mascos are as masc as my friend, well, it's going to be a big Maryfest if they ever get together for a camping trip. (That's what the mascos like, isn't it, camping?)
That's always the case, R118. I know many like this too. One in particular looks exactly like Chaz Bono. He even sounds like Chaz Bono. I'm convinced he's female-to-male transgender. He tells me nobody knows he's gay and he's closeted at work. I don't talk to this guy (or maybe "guy") anymore because he is immensely self-loathing for 36 years old. But, I'm not sure who he's fooling.
R118 = limp-wristed drag queen who's gonna cry no man wants her
Confident and proud masculine gay men such as myself never go on about how masculine they are
THEY JUST ARE
They also never bad mouth or disrespect the more feminine members of the gay male community
Even if your not attracted to them and would never date them, all gay men should stick together and have each others backs
R121, trans women =/= gay men
R119, Chaz at like 400 lbs or now?
On personals sites and dating venues, you have to be respectfully explicit about seeking masculine dudes if you are only attracted to masculine guys. I think one should be explicit and upfront about their preferences.
I hear a lisp in masculine gay man's voice. But I'm sure he's good at softball!!
Lots of online posters ask for married guys. This is mostly because they expect them to not be big ol' girly gays.
R126, yeah, that's why "straight" guys porn is still popular. So many people still live in the last century...
[quote]The people that think for themselves can carve a true identity for themselves; those are the ones that I find truly fascinating.
truly masculine dudes are hot
homobros sounds better than gaybros
So much angst over something so simple.
It's not about being able or wanting to pass as straight. It's not about whether you were in a frat, or say dude or bro, or go camping or play football. It's not an on off switch, masculinity and femininity are a spectrum and mean different things to different people.
I guess it goes back to hurt feelings for some guys? Maybe old HS wounds or something, from teasing or being bullied. This thread also reminds me of the I'm X race and I like race Y guys, but they often won't date me threads.
People aren't always compatible, as friends or lovers. It can hurt and be awkward, but it is what it is. It's kind of an odd thing to choose as something to mean we should all get along, all liking dick. Doesn't tell you anything about the person if you think about it. It's kind of amazing that anyone finds anyone remotely compatible with them when you take into account all the variables. How many times have you been seeing someone and were totally into it, but then just one thing killed it all? Or found someone you felt was your perfect match only to find out that you weren't theirs, or vice versa?
tl dr - Just be respectful to folks even though they won't always be that way to you. Lead by example. When someone is hurtful to you, don't become jaded or spiteful. You're just hurting yourself doing that. Do unto others... right?
R53 and R74 have the most intelligent attitudes on this thread.
I was always wondering whether there was a butch/femme divide among gay men the way there is among lesbians. Now I know there is. And those of us who don't believe in such reductive labeling get left out in the lurch. Sometimes in a group of men where I'm the only gay guy, I feel too gay for them, but in a group of other gay men, I feel like I'm not gay enough for them.
But there's nothing sexier to me than a masculine man who is comfortable expressing his feminine side.
Even so, the definitions of what constitutes "masculine" and "feminine" behavior and manners of appearance has changed over the centuries.
Gender stereotyping hurts boys just as much as it hurts girls.
It's a little deeper than that R136
I find a lot of closeted or "discreet" guys don't come out because they feel totally alienated from what society tells them is "gay culture," that if they don't like Cher and wear their pants too short, they won't fit in. And there's no counterbalance to that perception that all gay men are like the two guys on Modern Family.
Moving from bars and bathouses to Grindr and Scruff helps those guys find each other, but there's still a lot of stigma for them internally.
It's not that they dislike the nellier members of the community, it's just that they have little in common with them. Hence the eternal online quest to find other "str8-acting" guys
Most men want to be masculine. That will never change
[R82] - You sound perfect. And I am not joking.
If you have to THINK about your "masculinity" you're probably nothing of the sort.
I love to top guys who are all masculine and butch acting. It's fun.
"Butch?" Really dude?
This is what passes as "masculine" to a self-proclaimed,vocal frying "masculine" gay "boy" on Youtube...right down to the "Budweiser" reference.
I can already hear the manly,Alpha male utterances as he and his bf stuff dollar bills down a strippers' jock.
Fairly obscure video R144. Only 2K hits.
But what's your beef, bro?
Dude sounds like any other masculine 20something straight or gay.
We get more guys like him in the limelight, people will stop going to Cam and Mitch as their default gay mindplace.